Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 23 (Patreon)

"Now what?" Taylor asked Myst, wondering how many villains they could get rid of.

"Now I summon some help…" Myst trailed off as he checked on Emma's clone and found her in the middle of a Weasley twins sandwich in a boxing ring. "I didn't need to see that," he muttered with amusement, a touch surprised that Fred and George had a number of girls cheering them on while they fucked Emma's clone.

"What's wrong?" Taylor asked.

"Nothing, sometimes you just catch things you don't want to see like the Weasley twins fucking a girl in a boxing ring," Myst replied with amusement as he checked on Lucius Malfoy, enjoying the look on Ron's face. He was almost positive their behavior was some side effect of the magic of the snow globe, but he wasn’t sure if it counted as a bug or a feature.

"Gah," Ron complained, his mind going places he really didn't want it to. "I didn't need to know that!"

"I figured I'd share the pain," Myst replied, rather amused by the situation even if it made his current plans harder since 'his' telepath was currently busy. He pulled the spatial ring off his left ring finger that contained the unconscious capes and handed it to Ron. "Thinking about the contents should bring up a sort of inventory page. Once you have the inventory in mind, you just sort of pull or push objects into your ring. You should probably practice with a rock to get started."

"What if I can't make it work?" Ron asked as he slipped the ring onto his ring finger.

"If you can't get it to work, feel free to give it to Dumbledore. Just let him know that the bald American guy needs to have truth serum poured down his throat and questioned and don't accept any powers from him on the off chance that he actually still has them," Myst warned him.

"Anything else?" Ron asked.

"Hmm," Myst mused as he checked on Saint, going forward a couple of minutes until he was holding Dragon's kill switch since he'd felt Teacher vanish and had lost the ability to understand most of her code. He summoned Geoffrey as he was reaching out to push the kill switch, causing the thirty something man with a shaved head and a faint tattoo of a cross on his face to appear in front of him. "Hey, asshole."

"What the fuck?!" Geoffrey blurted when he found himself on a sand covered platform floating in a strange star filled void.

"You were going to kill a hero," Myst replied as he scanned Dragon's kill switch, curious about the communication system it used since Saint had never seemed concerned with Dragon being out of range. 'Better safe than sorry,' he mused as he used his power to deconstruct the internal electronics of the Dragon's kill switch, wanting to make sure it wouldn't work on the off chance that he'd misunderstood how the system worked.

"What are you talking about?" Geoffrey asked as he slowly reached for the switch in the device he was holding.

"If you flip that switch, I will give you regeneration then I'll skin you alive and toss your body in a vat of salt where you'll spend the next hundred years screaming in agony," Myst warned him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Geoffrey asked, wondering how he knew about the kill switch.

"Lots," Myst admitted. "Teacher is dead and he's never coming back, which means you've lost the ability to understand Dragon's code. You have two choices, you can put the box on the ground and I'll remove Teacher's influence and you'll get to see your teammates again or I'll take it from you and you'll never see your friends again."

"You don't understand how dangerous she is!" Geoffrey snapped.

"I have a pretty good idea, I just don't care," Myst admitted. "She's a hero, which is more than I can say for you, you're an addict."

Geoffrey flipped the switch with a grin. "Too late, I'm not going to let her take over the world."

"Do you want to know the sad part?" Myst asked, wondering how much was Saint's fault for being stupid and how much was because of Teacher's power.

"What's that?" Geoffrey asked, wondering why there wasn't a response from Dragon's systems.

"If I was a decent person I'd cure your addiction," Myst replied as he deconstructed the rest of the kill switch. "But then, I've never claimed to be a hero."

"What?!" Geoffrey blurted when Dragon's kill switch turned to dust in his hands. “No!”

'No point in letting Teacher win.' Myst cast Esuna on Saint then looked at Ron. "Stun him."

"Stupefy," Ron chanted as he flicked his wand at the man, hitting him with a red ball of light and dropping him to the ground. "What was that about?"

"Saint was delusional, he thought the muggle switch in his hands would kill a hero that he was convinced was going to become a villain," Myst explained as he walked over and stuck Saint in his ring, wanting to make sure he didn't end up on the same world as Teacher since he'd probably help the lunatic for vague promises and or candy.

"Lovely," Ron muttered. "Do you want me to try to stick him in the ring?"

"No, I don't need him helping the other villains," Myst replied as he focused on Coil, curious what he was up to. He wasn't particularly surprised to find him in the middle of talking to some new minions about kidnapping a tinker in another city. 'Fuck it, you had a chance to walk away,' he thought as he turned to look at Ron. "One more villain then you can go."

"Sure," Ron replied, not seeing a problem with making the world safer, especially since he was being paid for it.

Myst summoned Coil then lunged forward and kicked the villain in the nuts before he could react, dropping him to the ground in pain. "Stun him!"

"Stupefy!" Ron chanted as he flicked his wand at the man on the ground. "That's cold."

"I don't care, he likes drugging children and he had a power that basically let him live two lives at once, I didn't want to give him a chance to escape," Myst explained as he reached down and shoved the villain into his spatial ring. "On that note, best of luck getting rid of the villains."

"Thanks," Ron replied.

Myst banished Ron then turned to look at Taylor. "Do you need an explanation?"

"Coil?" Taylor asked, thinking about some of the stuff Lisa had said about her old boss.

"Yeah, he hates to lose and I didn't want the Undersiders to have to keep looking over their shoulders," Myst explained.

"Makes sense," Taylor replied, trusting Myst to deal with the villains that needed dealing with. "What are you going to do with Saint and Coil?"

Myst pulled Saint and Coil out of his ring then pulled another bag of silver out of his spatial ring and summoned Lobo. "Another job, another bag?" he asked as he tossed the bag to Lobo.

"Deal," Lobo replied as he put the coins in his pocket and gave Taylor a once over. "What did they do?" he asked as he picked up the two humans and tossed them over his shoulders.

"The man with a cross tattoo is just delusional," Myst gestured towards Saint. "The asshole likes drugging children, feel free to make sure he has issues."

"Sure," Lobo replied. "You can count on me as long as the money is good."

Myst let Lobo vanish and sighed in relief. "That's probably the last time I'm summoning that particular bounty hunter… until he needs beer money."

"Probably a good idea," Taylor agreed. "What's next?"

"Jen said I can probably stick a couple of hundred magic users in the school without running into a bunch of problems, do you have any suggestions?" Myst asked as he walked over and sat down on the rock he'd used earlier.

“Depends,” Taylor said with a smirk, “are you summoning half of these people because you didn’t like the way the stories went and are using this as an excuse to change it?”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, a smirk on his lips.

"Give me a minute, I'm sure I'll come up with something," Taylor replied with a grin as she thought about some of the movies and books she'd read.

"Sure," Myst replied with amusement as went back to scanning the loot he'd picked up.

0o0o0

Taylor pulled her attention away from the strange sky after a few minutes of spinning her wheels trying to come up with useful movies. "Most of the movies from the last couple of years are either about capes or romantic comedies that aren't particularly funny. How about Star Trek? Dad said the original had some interesting aliens before they started trying to introduce capes to the remake and ruined it."

"Not the worst idea," Myst mused as he pulled his attention off the magic girl ring he was studying and looked for versions of aliens with interesting powers that he could steal from alternate timelines before they vanished. "I might have something that would work but we'd need a way to give her immortality."

"Why?" Taylor asked, wondering where he was going with his idea.

"Ocampa only live about nine years without outside help," Myst replied thoughtfully as he skimmed through various timelines, looking for a version of Kes that might want to jump ship.

"That sucks," Taylor complained, trying to imagine what it would be like to try to fit an entire life into nine years and failing. "Do you think Amy could fix their lifespan?"

"Probably, let's check," Myst replied thoughtfully as he checked to see what Amy was doing. 'Taking a shower, could be worse,' he mused as he skimmed backwards through Amy's day, trying to find a better time to grab her. He started skimming forward rather than back when he caught the tail end of her date with Elsa and Iris. 'At least I know that she's over Vicky and has decent taste,' he mused as he skimmed forward, trying to find a decent place to grab her that wouldn't cause trouble.

"Issues?" Taylor asked when Myst didn't say anything for a minute.

"Nope," Myst replied as he summoned Amy, causing a robed Amy to appear in front of him.

Amy sighed when she found herself in an Item World without her towel. "You could have waited until I was done drying off, the towels are conjured."

"I could have but you were about two seconds away from being mobbed by Vivian and Wendy for a night of video games and questions about the outside world. I figured you'd want a chance to relax for a bit and do some mad science so your power would actually be cheerful," Myst replied with a grin.

Amy glanced at Taylor then focused on Myst. "What type of mad science?"

"I'm curious if you can jailbreak an alien's DNA so they don't die of old age in a couple of years," Myst replied as he went back to looking for interesting versions of Kes and her daughters.

"Aliens?" Amy asked.

"I needed a break from tossing villains into alternate dimensions, Taylor suggested trying to recruit some aliens for the school since we have magic elixirs," Myst explained.

"Not in so many words but yeah," Taylor agreed with a smile.

"I don't suppose you have any extra clothes or anything? I left my rings on the counter," Amy admitted.

"Here," Myst replied as he tossed the magic girl transformation ring he'd been studying to Amy. "Just activate the transformation."

Amy focused on the ring and flipped the mental switch she could feel, causing a stream of multicolored sparkles to rush out of the ring and over her body.

"I might have a type for girls," Taylor admitted when Amy went from a girl of average height for her age to an athletic yet busty girl with wavy crimson hair that came down to her butt.

"Same," Myst agreed as the sparkles vanished, leaving Amy dressed in a mostly sheer black mini dress, a pair of crimson panties, soft black boots and a witch hat.

Amy looked down at her breasts. "Pretty sure these would count as floatation devices."

"You look like a movie star," Taylor offered, fairly sure her father would have a heart attack if he caught her walking around dressed like that.

"How much of a boost does the ring give?" Amy asked as she twisted and looked down at her butt, curious if it was worth using.

"At least a cup size," Myst offered 'innocently'.

Taylor shook her head. "At least two."

Amy stared at Taylor. "That was horrible."

"What? You look great," Taylor assured her.

Amy stuck her tongue out at Taylor then focused on Myst. "What exactly is the ring enchanted to do?"

"Activating the enchantment turns the wearer into a tall athletic girl with anime colored hair and conjures a magical costume. The transformation boosts your magic by fifty points and unlocks the ability to increase your mana pool via training or at least boosts the training rate to something reasonable," Myst explained as he scanned her outfit. "The boots let you jump an extra twenty feet and land safely from any height while the dress has a S.E.P. field on it that basically keeps people from freaking out over the fact that you're wearing something that is barely legal."

Taylor glanced at Amy's boots. "I'm going to need a copy of the boots."

"Same," Myst agreed. "Taking the panties off lets you turn them into a magical slingshot and the hat is enchanted to stay unless you willingly take it off."

"Slingshot?" Amy asked in disbelief.

"Yep," Myst replied with a grin. "Okay, so I'm thinking about summoning a half human, half ocampa hybrid and her father, they might be willing to let us clone them. If not, we can certainly get a scan and it would let Taylor unlock a couple of psychic abilities."

"Sounds good," Amy agreed.

Taylor nodded. "Go for it."

Myst focused and summoned Lannis Paris from an alternate timeline before it vanished, causing an attractive young woman with brown hair to appear wearing a blue and black starfleet uniform.

"What's going on?" Lannis asked as she looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.

"The Doctor managed to stabilize your mother in the past which changed the timeline, preventing the Year of Hell and your birth," Myst explained.

"Does that mean I'm dead?" she asked warily.

"Not yet," Taylor assured her.

Lannis focused on the girl wearing a spandex costume. "Not yet?"

"Time doesn't flow at the same rate between dimensions so we have some wiggle room," Myst explained.

"How much?" Lannis asked, thinking about her friends and her family.

"A couple of hours," Myst replied as he summoned the version of Tom Parris from the doomed timeline.

"What's going on?" Tom asked as he glanced around.

"The timeline collapsed," Lannis told her father.

"Did Kes make it?" Tom asked, hoping they'd changed enough that Kes survived.

"She managed to give a previous version of the Doctor enough information to stabilize her which basically prevented your timeline," Myst explained.

"Shouldn't that have caused a paradox?" Tom asked.

"No clue, I'm not a Q or a god, I'm just a guy with the ability to summon people from other timelines and dimensions which means I can save your life," Myst explained.

"What's the catch?" Tom asked.

"I can't fix your timeline which means we'll have to move you to a different dimension if you don't want to vanish when everything collapses," Myst explained.

Tom glanced between Myst and the girls. "What do you get out of this?"

Myst gestured towards Amy. "I'm hoping Amy can use her biokinesis to replicate your daughter's eidetic memory and psychic abilities."

"You can alter genetics?" Tom asked hopefully.

"Easily, I just need to touch someone," Amy said as she held her hand out. "Do you want me to take a look?"

"Yes!" Lannis replied as she reached out and touched Amy's fingers, wanting a chance to grow old with her husband and see her son grow up.

Myst focused and pulled up the pattern for the snow globe on his heads up display, curious if he could build a stripped down version that would let him transport people.

"Interesting," Amy mused as she examined Lannis's biology, doing her best to ignore the fact that her power almost sounded like it was giggling. "Do you want me to fix your lifespan?"

"Yes!" Lannis blurted.

"Give me a second," Amy replied as she made a couple of tweaks to Lannis' genetic code, fixing some of the glitches that had cropped up because she was a hybrid. She removed the code that resulted in rapid aging past the basic 'adult' stage. "You should be biologically immortal."

"Immortal?" Lannis asked in disbelief.

"Ocampa aging is weird, they basically don't except when they're children and at specific times which means that if you remove the code that triggers the later stages, they're basically immortal barring injuries," Amy explained as she took another look at the girl's brain, mostly because it made more sense than Emma's telepathy.

"Thank you!" Lannis squealed, ecstatic that she didn't have to worry about getting old and losing her mind in a few years.

"You're welcome," Amy replied, looking forward to seeing if she could give a human psychic abilities.

"I don't suppose you can give me immortality?" Tom asked, not wanting his daughter to be alone for hundreds or thousands of years if he could help it.

"Not sure, but I can at least slow your aging to about… nil," Amy replied as she reached over and touched his hand.

"I'll take it," Tom replied with a smile, not seeing a reason to refuse.

Amy quickly cleaned up some of his DNA then added some of the half dragon tweaks along with a couple of tweaks that should increase his body's ability to perfectly copy telomeres, giving him an extra couple of thousand years if not immortality. "I'm not sure how long that will give you but it should be well over a thousand."

"Thank you," Tom said.

"What about the rest of the crew?" Lannis asked.

Myst closed the window on the design for the stripped down snow globe that was going to require a bunch of arcane tools and a workshop to build and focused on Tom. "That depends, where do you want to go?"

Tom glanced around the strange platform then focused on Myst. "Where can you send us?"

"Sky's the limit," Myst replied with a shrug. "Anywhere from an alternate Earth where Starfleet was never formed or is in the process of being formed to a timeline where Voyager was destroyed by the array, you could simply head back to Deep Space Nine and skip the adventure or you could get dropped into a version of Voyager that is just starting their adventures."

"I'd love the chance to see my mother's homeworld or at least a version of it," Lannis admitted.

"I wouldn't mind the chance to do things right," Tom mused, thinking of the mistakes they'd made during the journey.

"Cool," Myst replied as he summoned a version of Tuvok from a version of Voyager that was going to have a much worse time in the Delta Quadrant because they'd lost more crew. "Hello Mr Vulcan."

Tuvok grabbed his phaser as he glanced around the strange location. "What's going on?"

Myst gestured towards Tom and Lannis. "Tom and Lannis Parris are from an alternate version of Voyager, their timeline is in the process of collapsing which means we need a place to stick them and your ship doesn't have enough crew to get home, especially since Seska is a Cardassian spy. I was hoping that I could convince you to take the crew."

"Seska is a spy?" Tuvok asked, wondering if they had proof.

"Unfortunately," Tom agreed. "She's also short sighted and morally bankrupt."

Tuvok studied Tom. "You look older."

Tom nodded. "I've been stuck in the Delta Quadrant for a few years. It's been a hell of a trip."

Tuvok glanced between the girl he'd never met and Tom, noticing the resemblance. "I'd have to ask the captain, but we could certainly use the crew."

"Cool." Myst summoned Tom's version of Tuvok. "I'm sure you have codewords or such for contact with alternate dimensions. I'll let you sort things out."

"What?" the older Tuvok asked as he looked around. He stared at the younger Tuvok. "What is going on?"

"I'll let Tom explain," Myst replied as he looked for interesting Star Trek people to summon.

[You're having way too much fun], Taylor told Myst telepathically.

[I'm aware], Myst admitted as he summoned a version of Jadzia Dax from right before she was shot in another timeline.

"You don't…" Jadzia trailed off as she realized she wasn't in the station anymore. "What's going on?"

"I have the ability to summon people and Dukat is a bastard," Myst replied with a grin, taking a certain amount of satisfaction in screwing up one of Dukat's plans as he disliked the character.

"He was going to kill me, wasn't he?" Jadzia asked.

"Unfortunately," Myst agreed. "Dax would have survived, you wouldn't have. Which brings up a slight problem, I don't mind saving you but Ezri Tigan deserves a chance to bond with Dax, can I talk you into delivering a Dax symbiote to her from another dimension?"

"You're going to steal a symbiote?" Jadzia asked warily.

"No, I'm going to clone one," Myst replied as he focused on Noelle.

"Cloning doesn't usually include memories and symbiotes are almost impossible to clone," Jadzia pointed out.

"We have a Noelle," Myst said cheerfully as he summoned Noelle.

Jadzia studied the girl that was wearing a fluffy robe like you might find at a resort. "Is anyone else confused?"

"Yes," both Tuvok complained.

"You get used to it," Amy lied as she shook Jadzia's hand, taking the opportunity to study her biology and the biology of the symbiote.

"Trill?" Noelle asked when she saw the spots on Jadzia's neck.

"Yeah, sorry, I needed to clone a symbiote so I could save Jadzia and make sure Ezri got a symbiote," Myst explained as he summoned the Dax symbiote from the timeline where the crew of the Defiant had gotten trapped on a planet for a couple of hundred years, causing the symbiote to appear in his hand.

"Where did you get that?" Jadzia asked warily.

"I summoned it," Myst replied as he borrowed Noelle's cloning power and copied the symbiote in his other hand. He summoned Taylor's puppet that could grant invulnerability and granted both symbiotes invulnerability then handed them to Jadzia and gave her invulnerability. "You should have a couple of hours of enhanced durability, get one of those to Ezri Tigan and best of luck."

Jadzia shook her head. "That's not how it works."

"Make it work," Myst told her, then let her vanish.

"What was that about?" Lannis asked.

"She was supposed to die but now she's not," Myst explained.

"Won't that cause trouble with the timeline?" Tom asked.

"Not so much altering as creating extra branches," Myst assured him.

“Wherever you go, there you are?” he asked with a smirk.

“I’m going to have to put up with thousands of years of dad jokes,” Lannis groaned. “Is it too late to return to my doomed timeline?”

"Yes," Myst replied with a smile at the attractive science officer.

"How do I get back to my ship?" the younger Tuvok asked Myst, wanting to get back before the Captain became agitated.

Myst turned to focus on Tuvok. "You pick up your older counterpart and I'll send you back to Voyager. If Janeway doesn't make the deal, I'll figure something else out."

Tuvok picked the older Tuvok up. "Now…" he trailed off as he found himself back on Voyager with his alternate in his arms.

"You like causing chaos, don't you?" Tom asked Myst.

"More than I should," Myst admitted. "Speaking of chaos, do you want a clone of Tuvix?".

Tom considered the question for a couple of seconds. "I'm pretty sure Neelix and Tuvok would shoot me."

"Is that a no?" Myst asked with amusement.

"Go for it," Lannis suggested, remembering some of her mother's stories about the man that Janeway had basically murdered to save Tuvok and Neelix. "He deserves a chance to live or at least a part of him and we could use the help."

"Excellent," Myst replied as he rubbed his hands together. 'I need to talk to Leet about a system to record memories or Zatanna about a spell for enchanting tapes so we can get better shows,' he mused, figuring the resulting adventures from the cobbled together crew would be a lot better than the original show.

"I thought the plan was to grab people for the school," Taylor cut in before Myst got too carried away.

"Yeah, I got a bit sidetracked," Myst admitted as he turned his attention back to the crew of Tom's voyager. "Let me finish grabbing everyone from Voyager, then we'll switch gears and get back to work."

"Sounds good," Taylor agreed.

"Make sure you grab Kes," Tom pointed out, wanting to hug his wife and tell her the good news before they fixed her aging problem.