Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 21 (Patreon)

Myst pulled his attention away from the demon that looked like Hermione and looked at the pair of familiar looking redheads that had appeared in front of him wearing black robes. "The archmage should have put a bell on the exit. Welcome to Brockton Bay."

"Never heard of it," Fred Weasley replied as he glanced around the warehouse, pausing when he noticed James and Lily. "Are we dead?"

"I don't think so," George replied as he pulled his attention away from the collection of weapons on display. "I clearly remember stepping through the exit."

Fred glanced at Harry then looked over at Rose, noticing the lightning bolt scar on her forehead. "If we're not dead, why are we seeing extra Potters?"

"Because they're from another dimension," Myst offered as he pointed towards the whiteboard on the desk that explained everything.

Harry laughed. "Mum, Dad, meet the Weasley twins, they're fans of the Marauders."

"Great, it's spreading," Lily muttered as Fred and George looked at the whiteboard where Taylor had explained the basics.

"There's nothing wrong with a good prank," James argued.

"What's wrong with a good prank?" Yuffie asked.

Myst glanced at Yuffie. "There's a line where pranks cross over into being malicious."

"I might have stepped over the line a couple of times back in school," James admitted.

Lily coughed. "Severus."

James shook his head. "Peter was the one that tried to feed him to a werewolf, on reflection, that should have been a warning sign."

"I thought that was Sirius," Harry said, thinking of the memory he'd seen in the pensieve.

"No, Sirius suggested it as a joke, Peter was the one that actually explained things just enough to send him in the 'right' direction," James replied.

"We should compare notes," George said cheerfully, fairly sure he needed a couple more whiteboards or some proof.

"We should," Fred agreed as he finished skimming over the details on the whiteboard. "How long until we can get back to Hogwarts?"

"I should be able to send everyone back with Ron once I create a new snow globe," Myst assured them.

"What's wrong with the original?" George asked.

"You mean beyond the fact that the exit was impossible to reach if you actually wanted to leave?" Fred asked.

"Exactly," George agreed with amusement.

"Nothing, that's why I'm keeping it," Myst replied with a grin.

"You can't just steal people's stuff," Ron argued.

Harry laughed. "You nicked it from the room of requirement."

"Exactly, I found it first," Ron argued.

Myst pulled a bag of silver coins out of his spatial ring and tossed it to Ron. "Happy?"

Ron opened the heavy cloth bag and looked at the silver coins. "On reflection, I can't see the professors letting me keep it when I get back."

"How are you going to avoid the side effects?" Hermione asked.

Myst gestured towards Amy. "Amy can give people magical tattoos that prevent mind control or mental influence."

"How much do they cost and how large are the tattoos?" Ron asked, thinking about all of the various ways to influence people in the wizarding world.

"Nothing," Amy replied as she tapped the tattoo on her shoulder. "Where do you want it?"

"But she takes donations," Myst added, knowing that Amy needed to get into the habit of charging people that could afford it and he'd paid Ron a large bag of silver, he could afford it.

Amy glanced at Myst.

"Most people like having the option to express their gratitude, it makes them feel better," Myst pointed out.

"Fine," Amy admitted. "Donations are accepted but not required."

Ron glanced at Hermione. "How much is appropriate?"

"At least five, not more than ten," Hermione offered, knowing he'd still have a decent amount left over.

"How long does it take to apply?" Ron asked as he grabbed two stacks of five coins out of his bag and handed them to Amy.

"Less than a second," Amy replied as she pocketed the silver coins. "I just have to touch you."

"Can you stick it on my hip? I don't want to listen to my mother rant about it," Ron explained as he turned sideways.

"Sure," Amy replied as she reached out, poked his hip and activated her power, giving him a magical tattoo. "That should do it."

"Thanks," Ron told her.

"You're welcome," Amy replied.

"We're a bit short on coins, do you take joke products?" Fred asked with a grin.

Amy smiled as she thought about Carol and some of the more annoying doctors she had to deal with at the hospital. "Yes."

Vicky laughed as she turned to look at Myst. "This is your fault, you know that, right?"

"Nope," Myst replied as a red haired girl in her late teens appeared out of thin air with a familiar looking man in his late teens or early twenties standing next to him. "I should probably start working on another snow globe before we run out of space."

"Another snow globe?" Ginny asked as she glanced around the warehouse, focusing on the loot and the unfamiliar people.

"We're trying to figure out how to get everyone home," Myst explained.

"Portkeys?" Neville asked as he glanced around the warehouse. "Hermione?" he asked when he noticed the extra Hermione.

"Neville?" Hermione asked, barely recognizing the man that was at least half a foot taller than the Neville she remembered and quite a bit more athletic.

"Yeah, what's going on?" he asked, trying to catch up.

Harry gestured at Myst. "Myst can summon people from alternate dimensions."

"Long story short, I have the ability to send people back to Hogwarts or you can stay in a world where you don't have to hide your magic and make insane amounts of money selling magical items to mundanes," Myst explained.

"You're staying, aren't you?" Neville asked Harry.

Harry glanced at his children then focused on Neville. "The children would be targets if we stayed and I don't owe the wizarding world anything, no one stopped Fudge from smearing my name through the mud or actually dealt with the Death Eaters when they had the chance."

"The editor probably didn't want to end up in Azkaban or dead," Luna offered, thinking about the aurors that had destroyed her father's printing press and their house.

"Which is a good reason to leave," Neville agreed as he turned to look at Ginny. "What do you think?"

"I think we'll have to talk it over with Hannah but I wouldn't mind the chance to make insane amounts of money," Ginny admitted. "Can we recruit Bill and Charlie?"

Myst frowned as he thought about the dragons in the Wizarding World. "I'm not sure Charlie would want to come since I don't plan on introducing dragons or some of the more annoying magical beasts but I don't have a problem with you recruiting a couple of intelligent wizards."

"What's wrong with dragons?" Neville asked.

Myst shook his head. "You'd have people killing the dragons for sport or because they ate someone's cattle unless you used magic to hide them and then we'd be right back to where the wizarding world went wrong with people thinking they have a right to use memory charms on everyone."

"What about intelligent dragons?" Vicky asked with a grin.

Myst gave Vicky a mock glare. "I'll put it on the list." He turned to look at Lily and James. "Can you use expansion charms on a warehouse?"

"How long do you need it to last?" James asked. "If you only need it to last a couple of days we can probably get you twenty times the space, if you need it to last longer, we should probably stick with five times the space."

"How many students are in the globe?" Myst asked Harry.

"Close to three hundred," Harry offered, not having an exact total.

"Three hundred and nine," the demon stated. "Most of them are under ten."

"How many people did you start with?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Sixty seven," the demon replied smugly, rather proud of herself for corrupting the students enough that they'd hook up and continue having children unlike most of the idiots in the wizarding world that barely had two children.

Myst glanced between the walls, trying to judge the amount of space they had that wasn't being taken up by shelves and junk. "Five times the space should be fine. Can you conjure some couches and chairs while I deconstruct the shelves?"

"They won't be permanent," Lily warned him as she waved her wand and conjured a black leather couch in one of the open spots on the floor. "Permanent conjuration takes too much energy."

James pulled his wand out of his pocket and headed for the nearest wall. "I'll handle the expansion charms."

"Thanks," Myst told Lily and James then turned to look at Harry and Hermione. "Do you want to tell the rest of the students that we need to talk to them so we can figure out where to send them?"

"Sure," Harry agreed. "It gives me a chance to pack."

"I'll help, I need to grab my computer," Vivian said, not wanting to lose all of her artwork or games.

The demon shook her head. "Don't bother, the computers count as educational material which means they're conjured, you'll have to copy everything you want to keep."

"What type of computers?" Myst asked, wondering how hard backing everything up was going to be.

"They're basically 486 knock offs," the demon girl replied with a grin.

"I'm not even sure where to get burnable CDs anymore," Myst admitted, not sure if they even sold them on Earth Bet.

"Don't worry about it," the demon girl replied with amusement. "Everything should have been upgraded when the school switched worlds, just grab a couple of dozen thumb drives or a backup drive for the network and you'll be fine."

Iris let out a sigh of relief that she wasn't going to lose her pictures. "Where do we get thumb drives?"

"Electronics shop," Vicky offered.

"Give me a second," Myst told them as he focused on people holding backup drives that would be compatible with the network in the school. He frowned slightly when he found a version of Leet that was holding a really nice backup drive. 'You have the worst luck,' he mused as he 'watched' a delivery truck swerve and run Leet down as he walked out of an electronics shop. 'Then again, if you hadn't pissed off the gang, they wouldn't have put a hit on you.'

"What are you thinking?" Vicky asked.

"I can summon people," Myst replied as he skimmed over the driver's life, trying to figure out what type of person he was. 'I need to grab some explosives and a timer,' he mused when he realized the driver didn't have a problem running over civilians that got in his way, including children. 'That makes this easy.' He focused and summoned Leet from right before the truck hit him.

"Fuck!" Leet screamed as he appeared, in the process of tossing himself sideways to avoid the truck that was swerving to hit him.

'Nearly cosmic power and I'm using it to prank assholes, yeah that tracks,' Myst mused as he reached out with telekinesis and caught the backup drive that had flown out of Leet's hands when he crashed into the conjured couch.

"What?" Leet sputtered when he realized that he'd landed on something softer than the asphalt he'd been expecting to hit if the truck didn't kill him. He stared at the weird collection of capes and crates filled with old fashioned weapons, wondering if he'd hit his head because things weren't making sense. "What's going on?"

"Welcome to the afterlife," Myst replied with a straight face, causing Leet to stare at him for a couple of seconds in disbelief before the villain scowled at him.

"You're an asshole," Leet complained as he sat up, trying to figure out what the hell was going on and why the dark haired stranger was messing with him.

"Yeah, but I'm the asshole that saved your life," Myst replied as he floated the backup drive over to the table.

"What do you want?" Leet asked, willing to admit that the man had a point.

"I need a backup drive and you need a way to survive the next couple of minutes, let's make a trade. If you let me buy the drive for fifty dollars more than you paid, I'll give you enough durability to survive getting hit by the truck."

"You're tossing me in front of a truck?" Leet asked in concern.

"Not exactly. My power summons people across dimensions, they get returned to the instant they left," Myst replied apologetically.

"And you just happened to summon me right before the truck hit me?" Leet asked suspiciously, getting the sense that looking around the warehouse wasn't in his best interest.

"If I'd summoned you sooner, you'd have flinched or refused to run in front of the truck," Myst replied, doing his best not to laugh at the look on Leet's face.

"No shit!" Leet replied.

"Pretty sure that would kill the driver," Vicky pointed out.

Myst looked at Vicky. "The driver has a nasty habit of hitting children if they get in the way of his hits so yeah, I'm taking the chance to get rid of him by making you durable enough to destroy the cab."

"That's fucked up," Leet admitted, feeling something grab his head when he started to turn to look for the other voice.

"It's the best I can do with the limits of my power," Myst admitted.

"I meant the driver. How much durability can you give me and for how long?" Leet asked thoughtfully.

Emma smiled as Leet came up with a useful idea. "He knows where the rest of the gang is and he wants to make a video as an invincible hero."

"Wouldn't you?" Leet asked, not sure how she knew what he was thinking.

Myst cast Esuna on Leet, on the off chance that it fixed his head or his power since he was running low on fairy dust. "About six hours. How much time do you need?" he asked, not opposed to giving this version of Leet some help since he wasn't a complete bastard and hadn't beat up a bunch of hookers for a show.

"That should be enough," Leet agreed, knowing it would only take an hour to get back to his stash and pick up some of his more dangerous toys.

Myst turned to look at Taylor. "Give him a boost."

Taylor walked over and touched Leet, giving him a durability boost and picking up a couple of dozen page's worth of technology unlocks. 'What the hell?' she asked herself as she started skimming through the pages and closing them so she could see. 'How many specialities did he have?'

Myst pulled his wallet out and handed Leet a couple of hundred to pay for the backup drive. "Best of luck, you have six hours."

Leet smiled as he put the money in his pocket. "Thanks!"

Myst let Leet vanish. "That was easy."

James walked back over. "That should give you enough space."

Myst frowned when he turned and realized that James had already expanded the warehouse and he hadn't even noticed. "Thanks. Let's get everything squared away with Harry's friends so we can get everything squared away with Gor-Don and Mon-El."

"Can we take some classes?" Amy asked thoughtfully. "We have a couple of hours before we need to be home, that's a couple of months, right?"

The demon girl nodded. "One minute out here is a day inside."

"Cool," Vicky said cheerfully.

"School," Taylor muttered, thinking about Winslow.

"If you don't like it, you can always drop out and get a G.E.D." Myst pointed out.

"Don't worry, we've got your back," Amy assured her.

"Don't worry, the teachers are awesome," Elsa offered.

"Sounds fun," Taylor agreed.

"Don't worry, if you don't like it you can always leave," Myst assured her. "How do I send people to the school?" he asked Ron.

"Just think about sending the people you want, it's not hard," Ron explained.

Myst turned to look at Tifa, Aerith and Cloud. "Do you want to head to the magic school?"

"Sounds useful," Cloud mused.

"Ninja magic!" Yuffie said cheerfully.

"Sure," Tifa agreed, not seeing a problem with checking things out before they headed home.

"We might be able to learn something that would help fix the damage Shinra caused," Aerith mused.

"It's worth a shot," Myst agreed. He glanced between Zatanna and John. "What about you?"

Zatanna smiled. "I'd love the chance to take a break and take some magic classes."

"Sure," John replied, not passing up a chance to laze around and pick up some more tricks, especially since it was a chance to spend it with Zatanna without anyone around who could call them away for some emergency.

"Cool. Let people know about their options, they can stay here, go home or get dropped off in another wizarding world. They can also spend time in the school if they want to finish their education," Myst told Emma.

"I'll check the students for troublemakers," Emma told him.

"Thanks," Myst replied as he focused and sent everyone other than Jen into the school. "Hopefully they have a place for pets."

"I'm sure they'll figure something out," Jen replied with a grin. "How long do you think it will take them to copy everything over and finish up projects?"

"A couple of days, so we'll probably have people trickling back in a couple of minutes but at least that gives us a chance to relax a bit," Myst replied as he walked over and flopped down on the couch.

"Yep," Jen replied with amusement as she walked over and flopped down next to him. "Do you think you could build a permanent portal between Earth Bet and the wizarding world?"

"I don't know that I want to, some idiot would try to smuggle in some of the terminally stupid magical plants or creatures," Myst complained.

"Do you honestly care?" Jen asked with amusement.

"It's like watching a movie with a stupid plot where the mad scientist is an idiot and can't put in basic security features, never mind they're doing ground breaking research. Besides, I don't want to be responsible for bringing boggarts to a world with triggers and some of the plants are unacceptably dangerous," Myst complained, thinking about the Mandrake plants that killed things by screaming.

"Have Taylor make a telepathic minion and get a scanner, that would probably catch most of the problems, especially if you set things up so the portals open into a shower room," Jen suggested with a grin.

"I'll ask Lily when she gets back, she seems reasonable enough," Myst replied as he leaned back and closed his eyes, taking a minute to relax.

0o0o0

"Is this a fucking joke?!" David demanded as he stared at the video clip of an unknown and unmasked cape hauling a struggling Leviathan into space by its spine despite everything the creature could do.

"If it's a joke, it's not mine," Rebecca replied as Legend stepped out of one of Doormaker's portals. "Just watch."

Keith ignored the portal closing behind him as he watched the clip of Leviathan getting flung into space by a man wearing a cape. "Interesting…" he trailed off as the endbringer exploded for no reason that he could see.

"This has to be a simulation!" David sputtered, feeling like someone had sucker punched him and made a mockery of everything he'd worked for, including his recent win against Nilbog.

Rebecca glanced at Keith. "Dragon sent the video after checking multiple satellites."

"You can't just toss endbringers like that," David sputtered.

"And yet, it happened," Rebecca replied as she gestured at the frozen image of a dark haired man in his twenties on the screen floating in space, his face perfectly visible and the symbol on his chest faintly familiar.

"This has to be a trick," David argued, not sure why they didn't understand.

"To what end?" Keith asked.

"I don't know," David admitted. "If it was the same person that attacked the Simurgh, I'd understand but you're saying we have two unknown capes flying around that can casually deal with endbringers."

"Not to mention whatever happened to Scion," Keith mused, still not sure why Scion had popped like a balloon.

"Maybe he's plotting something or he changed appearance," David suggested.

Rebecca gave David an annoyed look that turned into a frown when she realized he suddenly had glitter all over his shirt and face. "New power?"

"Not that I know of," Eidolon admitted, as confused as the rest of them, but feeling much less upset for some reason.