Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 20 (Patreon)

John glanced at Myst as he walked out of the warehouse. "Have they caught James up to speed?"

"Not yet," Myst replied as he closed the door behind him, not wanting to let the warmth out or let some of the heroes hear the rest of his plan.

John took another drag on his cig then blew the smoke out. "Is there a reason you 'forgot' to mention the diary?"

"I don't want to listen to a lecture on morality or honorable combat," Myst admitted, wanting to get things settled before he summoned Dumbledore to deal with the rest of the artifacts.

"Been there, done that mate, what are you thinking?" John asked.

"I was curious if you could curse the diary to explode after a couple of seconds," Myst asked, fairly sure Lily's world would be a better place without Lucius Malfoy.

John blew out a stream of smoke as he put the pieces together. "Let me guess, you'll summon it while Lucius is holding it?"

"Wouldn't you?" Myst asked.

"Yeah, but I'm a bastard," John replied as he ground out the last of his cig on the metal siding. "Summon the diary, just be ready to banish it when I say."

"Deal," Myst replied as he focused and summoned the diary from the same point in time that he'd summoned Lily and James, letting the diary hit the gravel in front of him. "Give me a second, I want to see if I can get a useful pattern out of this."

"Go for it," John suggested, knowing that Voldemort had a decent amount of skill with his form of magic even if his sanity was questionable. "What do you think you'll get?"

"With any luck, I'll get an intelligent book that can help people with homework or history questions without the ability to possess people," Myst replied as he scanned the diary, picking up a number of useful and less than useful patterns from the cursed book. "And done. Light it up."

John gestured at the book and chanted, "Maledicta flammarum quinque secundis!" as he pushed magic into his curse. He waited two seconds for the magic to soak into the book then snapped, "Banish it!"

Myst banished the cursed book without hesitation. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," John replied as the door opened.

Amy glanced between John and Myst as she stepped outside, wondering what they were up to since they both looked a bit more suspicious than normal. "What are we not mentioning?"

"The fact that I forgot about Voldemort's diary," Myst admitted as he turned his attention to the girl in spandex. "What's up?"

Amy let the door close behind her. "I didn't want to listen to the arguing, I get enough at home."

"Nothing screws you up like family," John muttered, thinking about his father.

"I might have an idea." Myst tapped into his summoning power and looked through the multiverse for someone with a pocket vacation home that he wouldn't mind stealing from.

"What's that?" Amy asked, happy to change the subject.

"How would you like an actual vacation without worrying about missing shifts at the hospital or dealing with school?" Myst asked as he narrowed his search down to people with items the owners would be better off not having.

"What's the catch?" Amy asked.

"No clue…" Myst trailed off as he found something extremely useful, twisted and dangerous that was responsible for dooming a version of the wizarding world.

"What did you find?" John asked.

"I found someone with a twisted snow globe that contains a perverted magic school/resort where time moves faster inside," Myst replied as he skimmed over the snow globe's history and future in the alternate world, trying to get a better idea of how the snow globe worked and how it was cursed.

"What's wrong with the snow globe?" John asked.

"It's basically a trap," Myst admitted. "It wasn't supposed to be but the globe was just a prototype and there was a flaw in the enchantment that let the archmage use the students' magical growth to fuel his own."

"What type of flaw?" Amy asked, sort of relieved to know that even experts screwed up now and then.

"The type that would have resulted in the owner acquiring twenty seven percent of the magical power of anyone that died in the school, along with bits and pieces of their personality. Thankfully, one of the archmage's identification spells flagged the problem and he stuck the prototype on a shelf and created a better version."

"Let me guess, someone stole it?" John asked, knowing how these things usually went.

"One of his students with more talent than sense and not enough magical potential swiped it when he was supposed to be dusting. He stashed the orb on one of his trips home, waited six months while he finished up some other projects then left the school and went recruiting."

Amy winced as she thought about the Butcher. "How long did it take him to go completely insane?"

"He used the school for a year without any real issue then one of the students died in a magical duel and the power went to his head. Long story short, most of the students left so he decided to bind a demon to the school to make sure his wannabe minions didn't survive their fifteenth birthdays or escape then went recruiting, looking for people that no one would miss."

Amy shook her head. "What part of that makes it sound like a good vacation?"

"I wouldn't mind taking a couple of classes if we can get rid of the demon," Myst replied with a grin as he thought about the attractive teachers the school generated.

"How are you planning on dealing with the demon?" John asked as the door opened and Taylor walked out.

Myst glanced at Taylor then focused on John. "I'm leaning towards summoning the demon and hitting her with fairy dust, that should break her contract. If that doesn't work, banishing her while the snow globe is in a different dimension should snap the connection. She's not exactly looking forward to killing her friends."

"But contracts are contracts," John mused.

"Basically," Myst agreed.

"You should probably summon Rose and Hermione before you get completely sidetracked," Taylor pointed out.

Myst glanced at the chain link fence that had plastic slats that mostly blocked the view of the street then summoned Rose and Hermione, causing two girls in sweats and sweatshirts to appear in front of them. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," Rose replied as she glanced around the parking lot. "Is there a reason we're outside?"

"Lily's inside explaining everything to James," Myst replied as he focused on the world with the 'cursed' snowglobe, trying to figure out the best time to summon everyone. "I'm just about to summon a demon, you should probably poke her arm if you get a chance," he told Taylor.

"Sure," Taylor agreed, always happy to get more unlocks.

Myst checked to make sure the timing lined up and summoned the demon the night before Iris and Elsa Potter turned fifteen and everything went sideways, causing a busty and naked girl to appear that looked like an older Hermione if you ignored her glowing blue eyes and dark blue hair.

Hermione stared at the girl that looked like an older and bustier version of her. 'Damn…'

Rose smiled as she studied the naked girl that looked like her girlfriend, wondering if she could talk her into posing for pictures with Hermione.

The demon girl smiled when she realized she couldn't feel the school. "I don't suppose you can keep me summoned for twenty four hours?"

"In theory, why?" Myst asked, curious about her reasoning.

"I have orders to kill everyone in the school on their fifteenth birthdays, I'd rather not kill my friends," the demon admitted, rather glad that her orders not to warn people in the globe didn't extend to people outside of it.

Myst pulled a bag of fairy dust out of his spatial ring and hit the demon, covering her chest with glitter. "Did that help?"

The demon girl laughed and started dancing in place when she realized her orders were gone and that she was free or at least free of her previous summoner's orders since she could feel a connection to Myst. "Yes!"

Taylor reached and touched the demon's fingers one of the times she spun around, picking up a pattern for a magic using spirit. 'Nice.'

"Not that I'm complaining about watching a naked girl that looks like Hermione dance around, but what's going on?" Rose asked.

"I got distracted and found someone that I can summon that has a magical snow globe that I want to steal," Myst explained.

"You're summoning Ronald?" the demon asked.

"That's the plan," Myst agreed. "I want to make sure he doesn't keep trapping people in the snow globe."

"Why would he do that?" Hermione asked.

The demon snapped her fingers and conjured a black robe then pulled it on. "He went a bit nuts when he realized he'd basically doomed his best friends and his sister to spend the rest of their lives in the snow globe because of a prank."

"He was never the sharpest tack in the bunch," Rose mused, not particularly surprised that he'd gone nuts given half a chance.

"To be fair, he was going to take it to Dumbledore before Draco got murdered by Lavender and the extra personality fragments drove him insane," the demon offered.

"Lavender murdered him?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"What else do you call it when you hit someone in the face with a sunbeam while they're standing on a balcony?" the demon girl asked.

"Tragic accident or karma considering he wouldn't stop making unwanted advances," Myst replied as he opened the door to the warehouse. "We should probably take the next part inside, we have a bunch of people to summon and it's cold out here."

"How many people do you have to summon?" Taylor asked as the rest of the group headed inside.

"At least a couple," Myst replied as he followed John inside and over to where Jen was watching Lily and James hug Rose. "Can I talk you into conjuring a screen and a rack with two dozen robes?"

"Sure," Jen replied as she snapped her fingers and conjured a screen. "Who are you summoning first?"

"I should probably start with that version of Harry," Myst replied as he summoned the version of Harry Potter that had gotten stuck in the magical school for the last eight years, dropping him behind the screen. "Grab a robe."

"Do you work for Dumbledore?" Harry asked as he grabbed a robe and pulled it on, not sure if he was supposed to be annoyed or relieved at getting rescued after eight years of peace and quiet with his girls.

"I've never met him," Myst replied with a grin as a wild haired man in his early twenties stepped out from behind the screen wearing a bathroom. "Don't worry, I'm not a Death Eater, nor do I work for the idiots."

Harry glanced between the demon and Hermione. "You're not Hermione, who are you?"

"I'm Hermione, I'm just not your version," Hermione replied as she studied the handsome man wearing a bathrobe that looked a fair bit like James if you ignored his green eyes and the faded lightning bolt scar that matched the one her girlfriend had.

"To make a long story short, I can summon people from other dimensions and or timelines," Myst explained. "Hermione is from a dimension where Lily and James Potter had a girl."

Harry froze when he saw people that looked identical to the pictures he had of his parents standing next to a red haired girl that looked like a younger version of his mother, if you ignored the familiar lightning bolt shaped scar on her forehead. "Is this a trick?"

Myst shook his head. "It's not a trick. Time doesn't flow at a constant rate between dimensions."

"Nice to meet you…" Harry trailed off as Lily rushed over and pulled him into a hug.

"Mum," Lily told him firmly, deciding that was better than going with aunt or something since his version of Petunia had screwed that up.

Harry glanced at the demon girl over Lily's shoulder. "How did you escape?"

The Hermione shaped demon gestured at Myst. "Myst was nice enough to summon me and break the bindings which means I'm free!"

"Does that mean we can rescue the girls?" Harry asked hopefully, looking forward to showing the girls everything they'd missed of the outside world.

"Yep!" she agreed happily, relieved that she didn't have to kill her friends.

Harry winced as he remembered the time difference. "We need to hurry, every minute outside is a day inside, they're going to worry when they can't find me."

"Don't worry about it, the timelines don't line up, you'll end up back in your world at the same time you left unless we pull some shenanigans and drop you into a different dimension."

"Are you done with Hogwarts?" Lily asked as she took a step back and looked at his face, fairly sure he looked old enough to be done with Hogwarts if he wasn't in his seventh year.

"Close enough," Harry replied, not seeing a point in going back and putting up with Umbridge since he'd already finished all of his masteries.

"Close enough?" Lily asked.

"I was in the middle of my fifth year when I got stuck in a magical snow globe. I've spent the last four days or eight years studying magic with instructors that are actually competent so yeah, I'm basically done as soon as I get back and take the tests," Harry explained.

"Which girls did you need to rescue?" James asked with a grin.

"Most of the people trapped in the school are girls," Harry replied with a shrug.

"Does that mean you don't have any special girls waiting for you?" James asked, a touch disappointed that his 'son' hadn't found anyone special.

"Hermione, Iris, Elsa, Vivian, Wendy, Selena and Lily," Harry replied, fairly sure Luna could rescue herself since she'd actually managed to find the exit a couple of times over the years, even if she hadn't been interested in using it.

"You have a girlfriend named Lily?" James asked in surprise.

"What?" Harry asked in confusion. "No, I have a daughter named Lily, I'm not Neville, I only have one girlfriend, Luna doesn't count."

"Why doesn't Luna count?" Lily asked, trying to wrap her head around the idea that she was sort of a grandmother.

"Because she's Luna," Harry replied, not interested in explaining Luna's tendency to get focused on projects or the fact that she was just as likely to end up on Hermione's side of the bed or Ginny's or one of the other girls in the group as his.

"Neville ended up with multiple girls?" Rose asked with disbelief.

"I'm fairly sure if Ron was trying to make up for trapping us in the school or maybe he was just insane by that point but he grabbed more girls than boys," Harry replied, not actually sure what to think of Ron since he hadn't talked to him for five years.

Myst glanced at the screen that Jen had conjured and summoned the other Hermione behind the screen along with Iris, Elsa, Vivian, Wendy, Selena and Lily.

"Where are we?" Iris asked as she peeked over the curtain, looking at the strange people.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked as she pulled a robe on.

"You're in another dimension and we're rescuing you," Myst replied with a smile at the attractive teen with wild brown hair that was peeking over the curtain.

"Sweet!" Iris squealed as she dashed around the screen and over to Vicky without bothering to grab a robe. "Where did you get the awesome costume?"

Vicky held her hand up, showing off her ring. "Magic ring."

"Awesome," Iris replied as looked around at the rest of the warehouse as her siblings ran over to investigate.

Lily glanced between the girls that looked a fair bit like her and Rose. "Can we get some introductions?"

Harry gestured towards the oldest pair of identical girls. "Iris and Elsa are the oldest, Vivian and Wendy are the pair of red haired monsters and Selena and Lily are the youngest."

"You have three sets of twins?" Tifa asked in surprise.

"I'm just glad that I didn't have triplets," Hermione said as she walked out from behind the screen with her robe on, looking only a couple of years older than the other Hermione. "Ginny got stuck with triplets twice and Fred and George ended up with an army of munchkins."

"How old are you?" Lily asked, surprised that she didn't look older considering the age of the girls.

"Twenty four," Hermione replied with a smile. "We spent eight years in the school, they've spent fifteen, thirteen and twelve."

"Everyone from the outside ages at half the rate while everyone born in the globe basically experiences twice the time, at least until they leave and come back," the demon girl explained.

Amy pulled her attention off Elsa's breasts, wondering if she was leaning over the box like that on purpose as it gave her a nice view. "That sounds annoying."

"You get used to it," Elsa replied with a grin as she smiled at Amy, enjoying the attention.

"What's school like on the outside?" Selena asked, not sure how accurate the animes and movies were of school since they didn't really match up all that well.

"Boring," Yuffie complained.

"Depends on where you go," Amy offered. "What was the magic school like?"

Wendy glanced at her mum. "Mum said it's like a free community college. We have lots of subjects and all of the teachers are basically constructs so we don't have to worry about paying them or having too many students."

"Sounds better than Winslow," Taylor admitted, doing her best not to blush at the idea of running around without clothes.

"Is there a reason we can't finish our education at the magic school?" Rose asked thoughtfully, not seeing a reason to go back to Hogwarts if there was a better option.

"You'd still have to take the NEWTs if you want people to hire you in the wizarding world," Lily warned them.

"That's not going to be a problem," Harry assured them. "All of the teachers are at least as good as Flitwick and they're friendly and helpful."

"Anything beats Snape and Binns," Rose complained, not particularly impressed by the quality of teachers at Hogwarts.

"What was wrong with Severus' teaching?" Lily asked.

Harry scowled as he thought about his second least favorite teacher. "I look like James and he's an asshole that can't teach."

"The sad part is, he's actually good at teaching Defense," Myst offered, thinking about the sixth book.

"I can see that," Lily admitted, thinking about her ex-friend's opinion of idiots.

Myst glanced between Lily and James, knowing they had a lot of questions and stories to share then focused on Harry. "Before we get completely sidetracked exchanging stories and comparing notes, how many people do you think would want to jump ship? We have a world filled with people with special abilities, you wouldn't have to hide your magic."

"What type of special abilities?" Harry asked thoughtfully.

Vicky floated off the ground. "Flight, force fields, exceptional strength and durability, biokinesis, teleportation, hydrokinesis, pyrokinesis, the ability to sense emotions or to build impossible technology. It depends on the parahuman."

Harry glanced at Hermione. "What do you think?"

"I don't think we have a choice," Hermione admitted, thinking about all of the girls that wouldn't be able to come home because they'd had children with blood traitors or muggle born. "I can't see everyone staying quiet about the population boom and I can't see the Death Eaters not coming after the girls or the people that had children with the muggle borns or blood traitors which is just about everyone."

"What about your parents?" Hermione asked, wishing she could have one more day with hers.

"The best I can do is to be honest and explain the dangers," Hermione admitted. "I'm not going to stick them in a bag and kidnap them."

"It would be easy," Vivian argued.

"Toss them in the back of an unmarked van like in the movies," Wendy suggested, wanting the chance to get to know her grandparents.

"We're not kidnapping my parents," Hermione argued.

"Favorite subjects?" James asked Harry.

Myst ignored the various questions people were asking each other as he pulled one of his last bags of fairy dust out of his spatial ring, summoned Harry's version of Ron and hit him in the chest with the dust.

"What the hell?!" Ron sputtered, wondering why people were hitting him with sparkles and why the voices in his head had stopped whispering.

Myst reached out and grabbed the old fashioned snow globe he was holding while he was distracted. "Yoink!"

"Give that back!" Ron snapped as he reached for the globe, knowing he needed the globe to save Harry and everyone he'd trapped in the globe.

Myst took a step back and conjured an eldritch blast in his left hand. "Take a breath, we're here to help."

"You can't…" Ron trailed off as he calmed down enough to realize that he was standing in a warehouse with a bunch of people and that there were three people that looked like Hermione standing next to Harry. "What's going on?"

"Magic," Harry replied with a grin.

Ron stared at Harry for a couple of seconds then started laughing. "You're the luckiest damned son of a…" he trailed off as he noticed Lily, recognizing her from the photos. "Is that your mother?"

"Lily and James Potter, this is Ronald Weasley, my former best friend," Harry explained.

"Former?" Ron sputtered. "Is this because I banished Malfoy and you had to deal with him?"

"Nah, he only lasted like two weeks," Harry replied.

"What happened?" Ron asked.

"He 'fell' off a balcony and cracked his skull open," Harry replied, knowing he shouldn't laugh about Draco's death but the last eight years had been relaxing and enjoyable without the worst of the Slytherins and without horrible teachers.

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke," Ron mused. "Sorry about going a bit insane and sending every attractive girl I could find into the school to make up for it. Are we good?"

"I don't know, you sent some of my stalkers," Harry complained.

"To be fair, he was technically insane," the demon girl spoke up.

"And you got an actual apology out of it unlike back in fourth year," Hermione added.

"What? I apologized for that, didn't I?" Ron asked.

"Afraid not, you basically just admitted that someone was probably trying to kill me, you tried to ignore the fact that you were acting like an asshole," Harry admitted.

"Huh… sorry?" Ron offered.

"Eh, good enough," Harry replied.

"So… now what?" Ron asked, not sure how to apologize for going crazy.

"I suggest blaming dark magic," Elsa suggested.

Ron turned and stared at Elsa. "Is that… Elsa? She was pint size the last time I saw her."

Elsa stuck out her tongue. "I was eleven, that's hardly pint sized."

Myst laughed when a pair of familiar looking blondes appeared next to him carrying suitcases, covered with travel stickers. "Luna."

"Myst," the blonde girl wearing a kilt replied cheerfully as she dropped her suitcase, skipped over to Rose and Hermione and pulled them into a hug. "I missed you."

"Luna?" Rose blurted, shocked that her friend was still alive considering the condition of the Rookery after the attack.

"She got a bit lost," the naked Luna that was still standing next to Myst explained. "I found her in the lost and found."

Myst opened his mouth to ask how she'd ended up in another dimension or how she knew his name then decided that he'd figure it out later, when she wasn't busy snogging Rose. He turned his attention towards the snow globe he'd stolen from Ron and started scanning it, hoping he could get a bunch of patterns to use with the school he needed to build to replace Winslow.