A Frog's Blessing in this Wonderful Galaxy: Chapter 2 (Patreon)

Lilliputian City

Wincing in pain, he stood up and looked around. There before him was a city on fire. The spikes he saw from above turned out not to be mere deadly implements of impalement but actual buildings, buildings that his surprisingly tough body had crushed.

For the first time ever since he  arrived in this galaxy, he found a civilization. Unfortunately, it’s people were no bigger than pinpricks in his eyes and he just so happened to do the metaphorical equivalent on stepping on their mound.

“Oh fuck, this does not look good…” He whispered as he bumped into a a large tower behind him, toppling the large spire into the web of delicate highways and bridges down below. He winced as he heard the screams that followed. “Oh shit, Where the fuck are we?” He asked, wondered where the hell they were now. He wished for a City but he didn’t wished to be dropped on a City! Well, beggars can’t be chooser he suppose.

Still, what terrible luck he had. Not only had he been carrying around a terribly sick elf and had been the caretaker of a constellation of stars, he now had a city to deal with. He knew his luck was already awful but this was just the universe kicking him while his down!

“There’s no need to panic, you can get through this, easy peasy,” He laughed out nervously as he slapped his cheeks. He was a frog with an elf and a whole constellation of stars. He already escaped five terrible disasters, he can get through this!

“Hey!” Red frantically started nudging him, calling to his attention.

“Red let me think!” He told him, pushing his aside as he clutched his head. Should he run? Should he stay and talk things out? All this thoughts running through him but he couldn’t find an answer and didn’t help that Red would not stop bugging! “I said quite it… ohh… oh fuck…” he snapped before trailing off as he saw that the inhabitants have come out in force.

Every street and avenue, every building that still stood, there were tiny little men and women all armed to the teeth with the sharpest and pointiest bits he ever seen. From swords, guns and whip, they have it all. They even came with boats, floating boats with black gleaming globes of light all pointed at him. Strangely, they had light similar to some of his stars but they were far muted (or maybe rather contained) but that wasn’t important right now.

“Hey!” Red blustered, swooping angrily at those that came near and the forces held back, their leader (the one with the brightest light) screaming what he assumed was order. They were in a stalemate… but he was surrounded.

Not only was he in a dire situation, but so too was his elven companion curled up against his chest. It was just him, Red, his half eaten sandwich, the elf and all the stars he gathered so far. Thrust in such a dire situation, he squared himself up, threw his hands up before he shouted with out hesitation, “I surrender!”

He was met with stunned silence as he felt all eyes on him. Did he say something wrong? “Hey!” Red thought so as he squeaked angrily at him.

“I know this doesn’t look good, Just look at what I did!” He fired back before gesturing at the destruction he had caused. Toppled buildings, sections of the city on fire and what he assumed was explosions in the distance. He knew he landed hard but he didn’t expect to land this hand. “You think they’d let me go scot free?”

“Oh man oh man, what am I gonna do!?” He squeaked out, feeling the weight of the situation settle upon his amphibian shoulders.  He was in deep shit and he knew it. What can he do? It’s not like he could just fix this… but what if he could? “Wait, I can fix this!”

“Hey!” His companion disagreed with him and rather angrily at that.

“Look, what if I tried fixing things!” He told them as he slowly reached down to the spire of the building he had just knocked over. Ignoring the insistent nudging of his companion, he then said, “Man… this tower looks amazing and-ouch!” he winced, pulling back his hands as he noted,” rather pointy…” His actions was swiftly met with angry shrieks.

“Hey,” His companion then chimed and he could feel the exasperation dripping off from the little sprite.

“Yes, I know this sounds dumb and it could be dangerous but can you atleast me try and work this out?”  He hissed back, “I’ve been running non stop ever since I got here… talking it out would be a good change you know?” He then said. Looking at the spiky ones, they might look a bit more like the cenobites but it’s not like they’d be like that. That would just be to cliche and obvious after all. They’re probably the misunderstood type right?

“Plus, it’s not like I can run, not with her on my hands!” He then added. Indeed, there was also the matter of his sick companion. He was basically encumbered and from the looks of things, the city stretched from end to end of the tunnel. Speaking off… why the hell did the tunnels look a lot bigger? The tunnel’s roof no longer reached up to the top of his head. The portals too looked a bit bigger. Did he shrunk? Maybe the tunnel in this area was just a lot bigger.

His companion meanwhile would just roll their eyes and sass back at him, telling him how misguided he was with his decisions, “Hey,”

“They’re not like those four or that giant void beast,” He argued before gesturing at all the buildings they had. From the looks of it, they looked like tiny elves… elves in BDSM outfit. Maybe it’s a bit hot around here from time to time? “They have a city and stuff. They must be at least be civilized right?”

“Hey” His companion scoffed back.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he then asked him, “Just trust me ok?” He really didn’t want to run anymore, not when he hasn’t even tried talking things out.

Red would give him a look before he gave him his equivalent of a throwing his hands up in the air and just resting on his shoulder. Taking it as a silent way of approval, he then turned back to angry mob that he had been ignoring.

“Ummm, hi! ” He called out, trying to get their attention. “I think we started off on the wrong foot. How about I explain my side of things before you go try and stab me, ok?” he tried reasoning with them and their angry cries quickly silenced as they looked at him. Good, he was getting somewhere.

“Ok, good. Glad we’re all in the same page.” He breathed out in relief as he looked around. Despite their tiny size, he could see their apprehension, maybe even feel it as he continued, “I’m really sorry about all this… but I’m kinda in an emergency?” He then raised his female companion, letting them all see her as he told them, “My friend, she’s sick!”

There’s a gasp from the crowd as he held her aloft. For a moment, the mob that had gathered faltered. Finally, he found people with a bit of compassion! He thought that sandwich guy was all there is in this Galaxy. “I’m really sorry about everything but please, I don’t mean you harm. In fact, I didn’t even mean to stumble into your city!” He then told them, making a plea of forgiveness.

The cries of of disbelief and anger that met him this time around were a bit softer and more subdued as the crowd murmured and talked to each other. He was getting through them! Taking this chance, he pressed on forward, “Look, I’m just a man… frog thing that’s just walking around trying to find a place called the Craftworld Ulthaine,” He told them, appealing to their need to see him gone this time around rather than their mercy, “If anyone here can point me where that is, I’ll be more than happy to get out of your hair.”

Telling them where he was going might have not been the best idea as all the good will he might had earlier melted away as anger once more replaced it. It was as if the mere mention of the craftsworlds name managed to rile them up? Did this place and Craftworld Ulthane have a history together? That didn’t matter now however as he still had a very, very angry crowd against him and one he needed to pacify now as they closed in.

“Uh bad history huh? Umm… uh…” He stumbled, thinking fast on what to do. If reasoning couldn’t get through them, how about appeasement through gifts! Looking at the leftover sandwich he still had in hand, he quickly offered it up, “I can give you… oh fuck, this tiny bit of sandwich!” tossing them his left over around, he reasoned, “It’s bigger than even some of your building!”

That was however met with a beam that promptly dissolved it to dust. That did not look good at all now that it was pointed at him. In one last bid to try and get them off his back, he picked up the tower spire he knocked over, ignoring the pain from doing so, and told them all, “Look! I can really try repairing the tower!”

Jumping up and grabbing the top of the tower, he hauled himself up before pressing the tower piece down. The sound of breaking glass did not sound good but at least the tower was whole again, “See?” Or so he taught as the building started cracking “Oh fuck…”

Yelping in surprise, the building gave way as the floors pancaked atop each other, leaving a pile of rubble behind and him half buried in the mess. Groaning, he barely had time to react as the mob was on him, throwing ropes all over him while others tried stabbing him.

“Hey!” Red tried fighting them off, trying to ward them off but his form seemed to just past through them, becoming merely an annoyance to them all. Not even his stars that followed Red’s lead could distract the crowd even as they actually pushed some off. Still,t he crowd waws relentless.

“Stop! No, wait!” He begged them, trying to push them off him without squishing them; a feat that was proving to be all but impossible. Cradling his elven companion closely, he told them “Just give me a chance! I really want to talk things but I can’t understand you!”

As much as he pleaded, it was far too late. Bound to the ground with more people on him than he was comfortable with, he was now trapped. Any sudden movement would end in the death of many of them, not when they were to busy trying to cause him pain; a feat they were failing in every aspect.

He could hear their anger and their hate but their voices was just so teeny, he couldn’t hear what they were saying exactly, “Look! I really want to help you guys but I can’t understand you!” He blurted out, “All of you sound like your squeaking like this!” In panic, let out a long series of squicks that mimicked their cries, one that somehow made them all stop… in pain at least.

“The accent might be a bit off but that’s what you all sound to me,” He then said as he laid down, just waiting for them to continue stabbing but this time, they didn’t continue. In fact, they started talking to him.

He winced as he heard the telltale sign of megaphone rang out across the city before a smooth, yet slimy voice started talking to him. “Testing, testing. Can you hear me?” The man asked.

“You can talk!” He cried out in surprise. Finally, he could understand them. “I’m sorry! I really didn’t meant this!” ”As bad as things was, he didn’t want to hurt them at all, “Please don’t hurt my friends! I know they mean well but they have nothing to do with this!” He apologized for Red and the light even as Red cried out in anger.

“Of course we can talk you buffon! Why wouldn’t be?” The man snapped back, insulted by his words. Turning his head towards the voice, he came face to face with a brightest light amongst the crowd, a malevolent looking spark with a tiny elf that looked akin to that of his companion albeit several dozen times smaller, “After all, your kind made us after all”

“My kind?” He choked out. Did they know what he had turned to? Where there people before him that also got sent to this dimension? “Wait, my friends! My companion Please!” He then begged once more, pushing those attempting to grab the elf of his hands.

“Don’t act like a fool, we know what you’re here for!” The man snapped at him, suddenly appearing on his chest with a burst of light as they pointed a sword at him. “You’re just here to finish the job, to wipe us all out for straying from your design!” The man raved before letting out a blood thirsty grin that sent shivers down his spine.

“Unfortunately for you my Amphibian friend, the might of Commaragh would not be so easily broken!” The man gloated before turning to the army that surrounded them, “Bring out the Analizer!” He felt whatever resolve he had quickly wither in the vines as he unconsciously crossed his legs.

“Wait! Wait!” He cried out, “Before we bring out anything that might sodomize me, can we talk this out like honorable men and women?” he attempted once more. Yes he was down but let it not be said that he wasn’t trying his damn hardest to deescalate the situation. He was the bigger man, he refused to stoop down to the level of barbarity.

There was a pause once more in the crowed as the man gave him a look, one that was asking if he was stupid. Seizing his chance, he blurted out, “I don’t know anything about my kind, which kind sounds a bit racist just to be clear”

“Thank you,” The man replied, smiling as if he had just been praised.

This left Kermit a bit aghast but he quickly gathered himself. If he wanted to talk things out, he better work fast. SInce they can now talk, they could understand him “... but I don’t even know your city existed before I even got here!” He insisted once more.

Raising his hands appeasingly, snapping through the ropes they tossed at him with ease, he admitted, “Yes, I destroyed parts of your city but I didn’t mean too,” he reiterated, “Honestly!”

He could see that he had once again stunned them in silence. Taking his chance, he then offered an alternative, “Tell you what, why don’t I do community service to pay off my debt…” He then trailed off as he looked down on his elven companion before continuing, “But right after I get my friend to a hospital because she’s really reallllyyyy sick.” It was the same old spiel he made but he had a good feeling that this time around, things just might work.

There a long pregnant silence between them and he winced, expecting the worst. That was until he heard the man burst into laughter, “You really intend on trying to be diplomatic, are you? Even when we have you on the ropes, you insist on trying to talk things out?” The man asked.

“Hey, so long as I can avoid bloodshed, I’ll try to do anything,” He replied. Violence must never be the first response he throws at a problem, not when he can still talk and it was working. The man threw back his head and laughed some more. Nervously, he joined the man, laughing with him as well.

As the tiny man gathered his wits, he cleared his throat, silencing him as well as the rest of the mob that had started to whisper and mutter at their leaders (he assumed he was the leader at least) words. “You know what, let’s do it,” The man offered as he knelt on his chest and looked down on him, a feat he was in awe. The man certainly had quite the presence. Waving his hands, he told him,  “Perform this… Community Service for us for a certain amount of time and we’ll forget all of this ever happens. Does that sound fair oh great Old One?”

“Wait, it worked?” He thought out silently in surprise before he nodded, refusing to let this chance go. “I’m just a honest, law abiding frog. I swear on my mama’s grave!” He told them.

The man’s slimy grin widened at his words as he gave him a pat on the chest. “I’m glad that you’re actually quite reasonable,” he praised him, “You know, you’re far more reasonable than dealing with the imperium. Nasty Mon’keigh, I assure you, you don’t want to met them.”

Was he talking about the Imperium of Man? He chose to kept mum about his encounter as he nodded along, letting the man go on. Best not to interrupt an officer even if they do sound dumb and a bit of an ass.

“For being such a good boy, why don’t I throw in a bonus as well,” The man then added, making his brow quirk. “Complete the community service you owe Commaragh and I’ll see to it that you won’t have to pay us for the favor of healing your dearest companion!” He offered. That sounded… good, really good.

“Wait, you have hospitals?” He blurted out before he bit his tongue, catching himself on the nick of time. Backtracking on his faux paus, he explained, “Ah fuck, I meant, you have better hospitals than Ultaine?” He hoped that their anger for that city outweighed their reasons.

The man scoffed before letting out a chuckle, “Ultaine could only dream of having the skills and talents of my dear city,” The man crowed out, holding up his chin in pride. He nodded reluctantly at that. He at least sounded confident but used car sales men had that attitude.

“You see, Commaragh has the best healers around and we’re more than equipped to handle sickness the likes of which that companion’s currently experiencing…” The man then explained as he looked at his companion sadly, “Poor girl, must be suffering from quite the pox.”

“Hey!” Red then snapped at him before Kermit sent a glare at him. He hushed him before looking at the man, gesturing for him to continue. Their good will was already being offered, Red was just being an ass.

Glaring at Red, the man thankfully turned back to him as he continued, “If you let us have a look at her, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something to help with her current condition,”

“Huh, that’ doesn’t sound half bad…” he cautioned out. It was certainly a good deal so far. Community service was way better than being forced to pay because he doubted that his bank account would be able to pay for everything even if he had access to it.

“Hey!” Red cried out angry, buzzing even more frantically at him.

Frowning, he then said, “Wait…” Glaring at the man suspiciously, he then asked, “How long would this community service last?” He almost let himself get roped in a not so exact contract. He quickly gave Red a big thumbs up for his help. At Least the sprite was still helpful in this situation.

Strangely, the sprite would cry out in frustration, “Hey!” Sometimes, he just doesn’t get the little guy but maybe someday, he’ll be able to talk to them just as easily as he could do with this fine gentleman he was dealing with.

Said man grimaced as he waffled about before answering him, “Maybe about a week or so since we’ll have to prepare a court big enough for you, you see,” The answer wasn’t as clear as he wanted but the mans assurance answered most of his worries, “You’ll know it’s about to end when we call you in for your court date. Yes, at most your sentence would be no more than a week.”

“It’s either that or we’ll continue trying to kill you,”The man then told him with a disturbingly cheery smile. Gesturing around them, the man reasoned, “You did invade our home after all, it’s your fault you’re here so be a good man and take your punishment as is just.”

For a moment, he considered his course of action. He could certainly just push them off and run, a plan that Red seemed all to eager to take as they shook their head, “Hey,” but… he couldn’t

“Does it looks like I have a choice here and the good man is offering us free health care!” He hissed back, “I admit, I’m not the smartest man around but when someone says free healthcare, you grab it by the balls and never let it go,” This was a really good deal, one that he was to afraid to let go. Atleast Red should see that he’s doing this for the good of their elven companion.

“Hey,” Red groaned out as he swooped down and started bowing. Heh, at least the he finally surrendered to his genius though he was rather concerned with the banging the sprites forehead was causing down on the pavement.

Not wishing to have his companion hurt himself from awe, he quickly sealed the deal so they can wrap it all up. “Ok little man, I’ll play ball,” he told him as he extended his finger at the tiny little man.

“Good~” The man purred out as he reached out and shook his head; It was quite hard to tell given how tiny he was an how he could barely feel their touch on his fingers. “I’m sure we’ll get acquainted soon well enough…”

-x-x-x-

The City of Commorragh burned but now it was healing as a giant amphibian helped carried the materials to fix the brokens spires, bridges and highways of the city. To the many slaves of Commaragh, this… creature might just be a giant beast but Vect knew all to well what he was dealing with. After all, it was not everyday that he had to deal with the legacy of the Old One’s themselves.

“Vect, do you think this is wise?” A voice would call from the dark while he sat in his exquisitely groaning throne, watching the Old One’s progress as they repaired the city. He refused to acknowledge the woman’s presence, taking a sip from his cup as they continued, “That Tadpole might not be the sharpest tool of the lot but do not forget the power they wield. If he finds out what you intend to do to him and his companion, it might not be pretty…”

Feeling a smile stretch across his face, one that hid the anger that bubbled up his chest, he finally replied, “Darling, relax~” Glaring at the woman who dared enter his sanctum unannounced, he then gritted out, “You know, I never underestimate my foe.”

With a tap of his finger, he’d feel a shift in the air as a few secret entrance opened up. If this impudent woman felt it as well, she didn’t let it show as she sauntered forward, headless of the danger. With her neon green hair and that infuriating smile, Vect found himself once more in the presence of none other than one his annoying rivals: Lady Malys.

“You say that but all you’ve shown so far is your willingness to gamble the very faith of our race to a chance,” The woman fired back as she walked up to his music box before excusing herself, “Forgive me but I feel like some music would suit this time.”

Feeling his eyes twitch at the cheerful and positively saccharine music she picked, one far better for the carnivals than his throne room, he reasoned,“Oh but this but a calculated risk, everything is,”

Keeping his features schooled, he continued, “That fool that played right into my hands might just be the most dangerous creature in this very galaxy, more than the golden fool, more than the four, and even perhaps the invaders from beyond,” Even now, with the giant black and green collar the creature had, he could still feel their presence as if he was standing right in front of them.

“Just being in the mere presence of that slimy creature made me want to bow down and grovel, it’s beyond us Dhrukari…”: He hissed out, shivering in disgust as he felt his mask slip. How could he keep his composure when this bumbling fool had so much sway over him.

“We already have one mistress to please, having another being above us makes my blood boil,” He sighed out as he swept his hands over his hair, letting his sharp nails provide him with pain to which he could center himself around with.

“That being is an Old One,” The woman scoffed as she walked up beside him, joining him as both of them watched over his cities newest attraction. “I’m quite surprised that one of them is kicking around. Makes you wonder what else from the olden days is just waiting to rear its head, no?” She teased.

“Bah, one powerful idiot is already bad enough, don’t jinx it Lady Malys,” He waved her off, refusing to entertain the idea. Just watching the giant scratch at their ass and their chains was already disgusting enough but to have another around?  He shivered at the mere thought of it. He’d rather get his soul ripped out by she who thirst than deal with two of them! So much power, so little sense, it was a far deadlier combination than anything else in this galaxy.

“All that power in such an unpredictable piece, a disaster that’s just waiting to happen but I cannot,no, we cannot as a species let this opportunity past, not when we can finally free ourselves from the shackles of the devourer,”  He then grinned. Was he gloating? Yes? But was it fun? Most certainly.

“Oho? Now I’m listening,” the woman replied as she walked up behind him and started massaging his shoulder.

Giving the woman an amused smile, he started explaining, “The plans simple really, we just have to torture the poor thing,” He sighed out in pleasure, “Just a single cry of agony would be more than enough to power the entire city for untold ages… what more can you do if you turn them into a battery. To rip that power off from that vessel and use it for our purpose”

“I can already see it… their death throes mixed in with that useless goddess screaming exquisitely while we wiped the board clean,” He laughed out. Who knew such opportunities would come stumbling into his lap. It was almost all too good to be real but one look outside and he would be reminded that indeed, he had an Old One as a willing prisoner.

“She can hear you know,” Lady Malys reminded him as she walked away, holding herself as she hissed out, “All of them could.”

For a moment, the lights in the room flickered as he felt gazes upon them. With a grin, he banishing them away as he stood up, throwing out his hands and shouting, “Let her hear!”

Savoring the feeling of triumph, he laughed out, “It’s not like she can do anything.” Walking over to his display of artifacts, he continued “The walls of the webway cannot be breached and even the small foothold they have is far too small for them to exert their influence through,” browsing through the selection, he continued, “As it stands, its just a matter of time before I get to harvest that thing,”

“And you think you can contain them for long?” Lady Malys challenged him, raising her fan to cover her lips as she sent a glare at him.

Smiling back confidently as he grabbed a box, he then answered, “Not when I have this,” Opening the box, he fished out a simple looking key, one that took the breath of the woman as she stared at the ancient artifact. Turning around, he watched the woman at a lost for words for once.

Holding it aloft, both of them could feel and see a thin, almost invisible, strand of power thrumming as it reached out ot the giant in the horizon, wrapping around their limbs, ‘“As you can see, I have everything under control. It’s a work of art, one that took quite a few tomb worlds to raid so I can barter with the Collector.”

Shaking his head, he then told them, “Who knew a collar made for the anathema would work well for an old one,” But that was his greatest strength after all, changing his plans on the fly so that it could work with any situation,”

“You do plan for everything,” The woman praised, her eyes widening as she kept her gaze upon the before shutting her fan shut and letting her displeasure be seen. “But I still think this is an idiotic plan,” The woman bluntly replied.

he gloated at her, “Do I smell jealousy~? He almost laughed then and there. To think that the woman who could rival his intellect could only warn him, trying to play with his hubris to throw him off. Does she think he’s some low level peon who doesn't know what they’re doing?

“Hardly,” The woman replied as all expressions fled from their face. Bowing lowly, the woman smirked at him as she excused herself,  “I’ll be taking my leave now. Enjoy your victory… but don’t say I didn’t warn you~” With but a blink, the woman suddenly disappeared.

He stood there for a while, straining his ear as he waiting for the infuriating beat of the woman to comeback but thankfully, she was truly gone. Snapping his fingers, the room’s air returned back to its rightful state as he looked back at the giant as it clutched it wrist.

“That woman I swear, ruining the mood wherever she goes,” He muttered before throwing the drink he had at this chair, smiling as they screamed from the acidic beverages, “Still, think positives Vect, think of the positives. To think that the last vestige of our creatures just so happened to stumbled right into my hands~”

-x-x-x-

While he celebrated, the Lady laughed as she watched the giant try hiding the the fact that they had accidentally broken through the chains that Vect gloated about. It’s quite fortunate the the foolish boy turned at that very moment, “Ah Vect, ever the fool as always,” She sighed out before turning to his companion, “Change of plans Tahril, we’ll be meeting the giant in a few days time~”

“As you wish my lady,” the armored man who stood beside her bowed.