Realist House-Husband in Fantasy Land 3 (Patreon)

Realist House-Husband in Fantasy Land 3 - (Sleeping Beauty/Maleficent, SI)

I was due a vacation. Was I?

My boss said so as she announced we would all take this chance to go to a ‘pleasant beach’. And since Diaval was not going to complain against the idea of spending a day at the beach, I was quite ‘outvoted’.

Plus the mere mental image of seeing lil’ Rory with a pretty adorable swimsuit while checking the pretty sea was enough to make this a lovely day to spend out of the castle.

I had prepared for the occasion, creating a tiny boat for Aurora that would work as a ‘medieval’ floatie since I doubted that magic could conjure one when Maleficent didn’t have a clue what those were, putting some cloth to act as a softener against any splinters and… well, some towels.

I would have loved to prepare some more, but I could work with what I had, and I would say that the place wasn’t too out in the open so I could bring Rory back under some trees’ shade when it was needed.

As Maleficent took us to the place, I started to see the first issues being tied to my boss and colleague. Maleficent was trying to get close and personal with some questions regarding parenting, as if trying to justify what was her situation with Rory, while Diaval was-

“YOU CAN’T GO SWIMMING NAKED, YOU BIRDBRAIN!”

Swimsuits were not a thing in this world. Either you swim nude, or you swim with something clumsy and that was far from hawt. And while Maleficent's outfit hardly looked like a proper thing for swimming, she didn’t seem to mind and actually looked radiant while wearing it.

“So, I am not her Aunt. I am definitely not her godmother, what does that make me?”

“The adoptive guardian?” How the hell am I meant to say she wanted to be called mom while also not telling her that?!

“No, that’s too impersonal. John, you are smart- I can tell you have the truth by your hands. Do spare me the stress and be honest at once!”

She was so desperate in trying to get some answers about her confusing questions, that after a while I kind of forgot to keep track of Rory while she was swimming with her nice lil’ boat.

If things hadn’t gone a certain way, there would have been a chance of her ending up trailing far away from mortal reach. But as I was done deflecting the clear interest of the drussy’s sudden urge to be a mother ‘but also not’ due to her tsun tsun clashing with her dere dere, I turned to look for Rory, and I saw her boat a few meters away from us within the water and… she was giggling at something.

Or rather, someone.

The first thing I saw was the red-hair. Then the strange waddling of something light green underwater and then… I frowned at the sight.

“Is that a mermaid?” I asked, my brain fried momentarily as I slowly realized that we were in Disney and that Germany was close to Denmark.

That’s Ariel. Lil’ Ariel at that.

As I tried to suggest a diplomatic approach, I saw Maleficent rushing towards the two kids… morphing into a dragon. My eyes widened astronomically at the sight, but, while I thought that this was an overreaction for such an odd but cute first contact, I realized that something else had spurred this big reaction.

I saw that on the opposite side of that meeting was rushing something big and mean and with a powerful trident in his hands.

Oh, that’s King Triton, that’s kind of neat… WAIT, WHAT?!

I swam as fast as I could to get to the spot and I saw the two almost collide as they just stopped moments away from hitting the tiny boat and hurting the two girls. Nonetheless, the children took notice of the situation and looked at the two angry-looking adults with nervous eyes before both started to call their other parents.

“Mama!” Ariel bawled, while Rory called for me.

Despite the intense standoff between the half-transformed dragon and the powerful trident merman, I was allowed to approach Rory… while an older mermaid came for Ariel. Actually, this one did look a lot like an older Ariel and I remembered that her name was ‘Queen Athena’.

Instead of keeping quiet, I bowed my head. “Apologies for the misunderstanding.”

The woman paused, surprise flickering in her surprised eyes.

“It’s… Alright. I think. I don’t wish to sound wrong here, but this is usually our place where we… bring our family for the holiday.”

“We were not aware of this, lady. We were actually here to give lil’ Rory a chance to experience the beach and the sea for the first time.”

She perked up at this. “Is that so? We thought you were setting a trap for us.”

I shook my head. “I can assure you, lady. The point of this visit is to catch a break, nothing more. I am sorry it came off as something else and-”

“John, stop speaking with those mongrels. They tried to attack My Daughter!”

Man, does Maleficent truly see Rory as that or not?!

“Hmph! You tried to attack my youngest, foul creature. I will make sure you shall harm anyone anymore!”

…

“Can we please de-escalate this mess? I think this is all just a big misunderstanding.”

My words got the attention of the big behemoths and-

“I agree with the human. Triton dear, these people mean no harm. Look at our daughter, she is just making a new friend.”

The queen’s conciliatory tone seemed to further melt away the unease within Triton’s strong stance, and while Maleficent was urged by instincts, she also noticed that Aurora was looking at her. Awe now mixed with a degree of fear at her current form.

It didn’t take long for both to adopt more ‘humane’ appearances. In Triton’s case, it was more of his size somewhat reducing to just be a towering merman, while Maleficent returned to her usual humanoid form… with her clothes partially shredded and revealing more skin. It was impossible for me to look away as she approached and-

“Mommy,” I mumbled super-quietly, but Maleficent heard me as she perked up in confusion.

“What was that?” She appeared unsure of what she heard and I used this chance to swiftly correct myself.

“I-I mean, about what we were talking about- mother is quite fitting.”

I turned my embarrassment into her own, with the woman tensing up softly and then looking at Aurora as she reached out to be held by her. She did so, and while tension did remain between her and Triton, the meeting between our group and Triton’s family went on without any new issue.

Rory made a friend in Ariel, then met the redhead’s siblings, and I was swarmed by mermaids that were curious about seeing a human for the first time from this close-up. Diaval was spared as he turned a raven to look around the situation when the fight started, preferring to fly about for a while before turning back to human once the merpeople left.

Before they did so, however, I reminded them to be careful of pirate ships and to see when some ships were led by pirates or not. They took this as a simple kind warning, but I remembered that Ariel’s mother was killed by pirates so I prayed this would have been enough to prevent another ‘dead mother’ in the Walt Disney’s cursed projection of parenthood.

Hopefully Rory’s new friend will actually keep her mommy this time around… In the meantime, I have to deal with Rory’s mommy about her ‘pride’ and her sudden order to have me sleeping in her bed after Triton made a snarky remark that if we were Aurora’s parents, then we were meant to share the bed.

Only sleeping of course but… stuff happens when people sleep in the same bed! And things definitely were about to happen under those dark covers!

—-------d-d-d-d—---

AN

Next time it is bedtime as Maleficent shares the bed with John… and Rory!