A Modern Guy in the Lesbian Vampires' Court 2 (Patreon)

A Modern Guy in the Lesbian Vampires' Court 2 - or ‘My business as the treasurer is surely a troublesome one among those ‘supposed’ world-conquerors’ (Castlevania Animated Series, Vampire!SI)

I had a full year, maybe two, to get Styria ready for a big war against our neighbors.

At this stage, the war chest was rightfully fit to handle a counter-siege against Carinthia, but it would be a lie to say that this display of strength from our military was a good enough show to confirm its readiness for a total war.

It was absurd that I had to contemplate this potential eventuality within the late 15th Century, but the circumstances didn’t allow me to do much but brace for an inevitable death war against humanity. One that I hoped to bring to an end fast so I could properly handle some war conquest.

I had seen enough shit around from some scum of mankind of this era to know that some ‘conquering’ was more than needed. And while I was a blood-sucking fucker and I was despised by God due to my own nature, I planned to rely on Religion as a tool to win over the different landscape this Europe had compared to the one I lived in. To be completely honest, the world I was in had several historical alterations I could spot on the map that told me I had to be very careful with what I remembered of major events of this era. I had a map, and… it was Alt-Hist galore.

There was much to say on the matter, but I will try to be as hasty and yet cohesive with facts as possible: The Hundred Years War ended in a brutal English defeat as London tried to strongarm the keeping of Maine, only to get demolished in Continental Europe by the large Army France had mobilized.

Such a feat was, however, not without some issues as the lengthy mobilization had weakened the French Economy, and as a period of limited peace ensued in France as a small force was kept to deal with Brittany, the Burgundian Succession Crisis happened.

Instead of marrying into the Habsburg like it happened back in the history I was familiar with, Mary of Burgundy married into the Von Hessen family, reinforcing the Thuringian Nobility within the Empire, and causing a brief skirmish between Austria and Hesse-Thuringia.

The end result was Carmilla and co. sabotaging the Austrian effort and causing it to lose that war, making it fall within less than a year into the conflict. Styria was thus recognized as an independent kingdom within the Holy Roman Empire, and the Habsburg faced an internal crisis.

Back in France, Paris tried to obtain slices of French lands from the Burgundian Inheritance, only for a compact HRE’s military to overwhelm them and force them to lose Calais and other Northern cities. The Peace of Cambrai weakened France considerably, but left the HRE exhausted as it retained control over Italy and limited the Papal Authority in Latium.

In Eastern Europe, things were not better. The Grand Duchy of Moscow was defeated by the Grand Republic of Novgorod and unified under it together with its vassals. While some conquests were made during the ensuing decades, the Republic had ultimately slowed down its expansionism to consolidate its autonomous lands. This was helpful as Lithuania decided against binding itself with Poland and rendered it too weak to handle the Teutonic Order when the Prussian Confederation tried to annex these lands to Krakow.

Poland’s only major acquisition of land was through the collapse of the Austro-Hungarian alliance as Hungary was heavily resized and lost Slovakia to Poland and Transylvania joining Moldavia and Wallachia in a Romanian Principality of sorts by support of Lithuania.

To put it all in a nutshell: Styria was in a surprisingly good position, with Austria in disarray and too divided to coherently repeal a potential takeover, Hungary being busy fending off the rising Ottoman horde in the balkans, and with the HRE being weaker than in OTL and yet retaining the same weakness I planned to exploit: Catholicism.

Now, the matter wasn’t going to be cheap and Styria didn’t have the funds and resources to pull through this ordeal just yet. Which is why the first six to eight months were all about defining the new plan for the economy.

Following closely what I did in the Murau District, I started to invest in the sewage system all over the country and establish some medical facilities to lessen the chances of illnesses. I had shelved the idea of producing more universities just yet to create public baths for people to bathe in divided by gender.

The fact that a plague could really ruin the efforts made in recent years was really dreadful, but the idealization of public baths at a relatively cheap price was going to be quite a gold mine to exploit.

A survey for mines’ prospects was called, with a national building guild being established to handle this labor at a properly-paid effort. The Styrian Building Association was thus established to handle these public works efforts. The budget depleted down to 10% but it had started at half its treasury already as the other members of the council had taken their share for their projects.

By the ninth month, the taxes had already provided more than enough to refill it up to 80%. The bureaucracy went through a major overhaul, reshuffling several accountants and curbing the excesses to the point where the administration itself was… clear of any inefficient products of nepotism. Not all could be cleansed, but those I got dealt with provided space for good substitutes.

By month tenth, I had drawn a decision as I knew that if I allowed canon to go unpunished as an angry and mourning Dracula was not going to be an individual that could be reasoned with. I had already tapped into the business of espionage, but this was more of a role for… ‘Diplomacy’. And by the beginning of 1475, I decided to act on this matter as quickly as possible- right as the news of Lisa Tepes’ capture had been notified.

I could tell from the knowing smile on Lenore’s face that she had been hoping for me to call her to my office. She had been rather subtle in showing interest, but I started to see her flirting through after just a few months of dealing with council’s meetings.

Which is quite hilarious from an external perspective as Lenore found the notion of supporting some of my counterpoints to budgetary changes as a means to forward her advances. She was… reasonably intrigued by my mind. I wouldn’t say she despised my body, but it was clear she was also not trying to ‘like’ it- she wanted to control me.

I was a potential puppet, and maybe more as she was rather passive with her approaches. This behavior, compared to the one used on Hector, was clearly proof that she was both intrigued and threatened by me. And it aroused her from the way she tackled it.

“Lady Lenore-”

“Lenore is just fine, John,” The redhead said as she nodded her head at me right as I came to greet her at the door. “We are colleagues after all.”

I nodded back. “Then please, Lenore, let me lead you to my desk.”

As we sat down, I offered her some refreshment. “Water, blood or wine?”

“Wine.”

It was supposedly too early for that, but the woman seemed to have a fixation with it. I prepared her a glass of it and she took a moment to test it.

“Sweet, but not too much,” The redhead commented, licking her lips. “So, John, I believe you asked for my presence for more than just courtesy, right?”

“Yes. I was interested in a joint operation that may have to happen under the table. Away from the attention of the council.”

“Oh? That sounds quite naughty- way naughtier than what a polite boy should produce for this first meeting between us.”

I blinked, and I sighed. “It’s worth the hassle.”

“How so?”

“It avoids putting us in a bad spot. I think someone that is quite ambitious is trying to trigger a powerful man that had settled down into going into a full-blown total war against humanity and… It has to do with Dracula.”

Lenore perked at this. “And what is Carmilla up to?”

I wasn’t surprised for her catching up to the little reference I made to the ‘Dreamer’ of the Council, yet I also didn’t hold back on what was going on.

“Carmilla has engaged in some secretive message exchanges with the church, specifically those residing in Targoviste.”

“Wallachia. What about it?” The girl pinpointed the city’s region and where it was. “I thought Dracula was far from home.”

“He is. His wife is not.”

…

Lenore leaned back, frowning at me. “Dracula has… a wife?”

“I suppose it’s a surprise, but one that has reason to be hidden away from the public- she is not a vampire.”

“...I feel like I am not going to like this- he married a human.”

“And had a son through her,” I added, eliciting a groan from Lenore as she facepalmed at the news. “If it makes you any better, the idea is to avoid the initiation of an insane Human-Vampire War from Dracula.”

“...I have some agents. What should they look for?” She asked calmly, shifting out of horni mode for a moment.

“They have set a date to have her burned at the stake for ‘witchcraft’. There will be an opportunity for your agents to remove her from the ‘protection’ of the church and see her moved back to safety.”

A slow nod and Lenore… smiled giddily. Which wasn’t good as she had yet to accept the ordeal.

“I will do it for a tiny price.”

My grimace saw her grin widening.

“And that is?”

“...Why are you avoiding me?”

I blinked. “Beg your pardon?”

“Feigning ignorance will not work on me, John. You know I have the mind to tell when someone is purposely deflecting,” Lenore argued, her gaze growing piercing. “So?”

…

“I…” I bit back my words, thinking of the right phrasing. “You are… dangerous.”

“Hm? So are my sisters-”

“You are the most dangerous,” I interrupted, causing her to go instantly quiet. “Striga? She is a brute that can be outtricked. Morana’s will to fight is tied to her lover’s wellbeing. And Carmilla is… prideful. She is strong and smart, but overall too easy to predict in due time.”

I stood up from my chair, staring down at her as she looked up with a hint of wonder and… delight.

“You are the most dangerous because I can’t think of a solid weakness you have.”

“I am not good in physically confrontations-”

“Thus you avoid them, letting others handle it. Or rather, you can defuse those from even happening and thus spare yourself the extra work of relying on others,” I interjected again, her tense frame growing more unease and yet more excited. “Diplomacy? That is a fine jolly facade to hide someone that is experienced in surviving this lifestyle. You may not be as old as Carmilla, but perhaps you had to suffer through enough circumstances to define yourself as a mastermind that can cleverly keep a favorable status quo onto the council.”

There was a brief pause, and I couldn’t help but still stare as intensely at her red eyes as she stared at mine.

“You… are equally lazy and smart, innocent and yet ruthless, prideless and yet with pride within your own rights,” I drew a sharp sigh before giving my last words to her. “Lenore, you can be so infuriating and yet so beautiful at the same time. Your mind is wonderful and it terrifies me.”

…

Her response to this was… a giggle. Then a full-blown chuckle.

“You…” Lenore tried to catch herself in that amused fit. “You are p-perhaps the funniest man I had the chance to talk with. Maybe the funniest individual yet.”

Her warmth gaze conceded to a… tired one. The chuckle was over, and Lenore smiled contently at what I had just said.

“Still, I was not aware of how in-depth your understanding of me went. I thought you were just frightened by my beauty or something like that.”

“You have a sort of innocent beauty that makes you mesmerize to the eyes,” I remarked flatly, her eyes widening a bit and then she giggled again.

“And the way you say those things so shamelessly~!”

“It’s more of an objective deduction. You are naturally gorgeous.”

“S-Stop it~,” The girl half-demanded half-teased, “You may end up making me blush.”

The pure smug on her face looked… Genuine. No, it was genuine. She had lowered her defenses. I was stunned by this and… she smugly grinned back at me.

“What? Is your ‘objective statement’ now turning ‘subjective’?”

“...Perhaps.”

Another chuckle, and yet this conversation was turning to a closure. She promised to visit with news once the matter was handled and I was left with many thoughts. Like, how this situation with Lenore may as well be the beginning of a beautiful friendship or something like that.

That was before I would end up with her trying to get in my pants and bed at the same time…

—-------d-d-d-d—----

AN

Smug Lenore is Smug.