The Journal of Khazak, Chapter 4 (Patreon)

Aquaday,  Leus 25th, 4623

Hello again, journal. It has been several days since my last entry, days that have thankfully been uneventful. Vakesh’s health has continued to improve, and I would say he is almost back to normal.

Since making his recovery, I must admit that the two of us have been getting along great. I find myself being more patient, and there is a lot less grumbling from him when he is given an order. I even allowed him to come hunting with me yesterday!

Most of the camp’s healers returned the day after Vakesh’s fever broke. A few had stayed behind to continue helping the other camps, but those that returned reported that there were no issues with the recovery. I am happy to have them back, and in the future I will be sure there is at least one magical healer in the camp at all times.

Our own camp has completed the repairs to tents and fences that were needed after the Rageblood raid. Riktal is back to running the training sessions for the camp's warriors, and he has been pushing our warriors hard. While I had hoped he would take his punishment to heart, I have still overheard him and the others spouting the occasional hostility to our Rageblood captives, though they have at least pulled back some.

For all the good Vakesh seems to be doing, his fellow Ragebloods are not faring quite as well. They are (somewhat understandably) resentful of their treatment and capture. Which is not at all helped by the fact that each of their masters tend to be much less easy going than I am. I have not seen any signs of outright abuse, but I know that is not always readily apparent.

I can sense a conflict within Vakesh when he interacts with his compatriots. There is some obvious resentment on the part of the others, both at being held prisoner and at the fact that Vakesh has been clearly warming to me. I can feel Vakesh withdrawing from me at these moments, doing his best to show them that he is on their side, not mine. But I can see the conflict on his face each time he sees me after.

This is only made worse when the members of my tribe decide to belittle and mock the Ragebloods, something I fear is happening with increased regularity. Whenever this happens I can sense anger growing within Vakesh and the others, but I find myself unable to stop it. I already risked some of my men turning against me after punishing Riktal how I did. Worse still, I can see the way some of them look at me and Vakesh, and I find myself pulling away as a result, just as he does.

The two of us have been in this awkward dance for days, growing closer only to pull back suddenly when one of our friends begins to notice. I wish I could help, that I could fix this and have peace all around, but I am at a loss for what to do. Sometimes It seems like I’m doing the complete opposite of what would be considered helpful. Like my actions earlier tonight, which I regret so very much.

It was at dinner, when several of us were gathered around the campfire eating, Rageblood and Proudhunter alike. Do not worry, I made sure the food was prepared by the camp's cooks and not Riktal. It was a hearty venison stew, using the meat from the kill Vakesh and I had brought back the day before.

I was sitting around the fire with my tribemates, Tress, Ritkal, and Yurga, while Vakesh and the other Ragebloods were grouped together in a small circle off to the side talking.

It was then that I noticed our gear from our hunt yesterday was still out, the bows leaning against a chair. In the excitement of bringing in the kill, we must have forgotten to put them away. Thinking nothing of it, I stepped away from my group towards Vakesh’s.

“Vakesh, would you take that hunting equipment back to the tent and make sure it is put away properly?” I requested, pointing towards my gear.

“Sure, I \ll take care of it after I finish eating,” he accepted, and I figured that was that. It was only when I rejoined my group that I realized everyone else had gone silent.

“What was that?” Yurga says, disdain clear in her voice.

“Yeah seriously,” Tress told me next. “You gonna let him talk back to you like that?”

“Seriously, what is going on with you lately?” Riktal taunted, no doubt confident that the others were in his corner. “Why are you being so nice to them? Are you going soft on us?”

I hadn’t even considered that the others might see something wrong with the gentle way I spoke with Vakesh. But with everything that had happened lately, I should have expected it. My best friends, who I have known almost my entire life, were all poised to turn against me. And if the tribe were to turn on me as their leader? ...I panicked, and that is where everything went horribly wrong.

“What? Of course not!” I fire back, offended. “You know you cannot let them get too comfortable. I was just waiting for him to put his guard down. Watch.”

I walked back over to Vakesh, feeling regret for what I was about to do with every step, but was unable to stop myself. He was clearly dealing with his own problem that seemed similar to mine, the other Ragebloods all glaring at him. Before he could even notice me, I smacked the spoon he was using to eat from his hand.

“Let's get something straight here, worm.” I started, hate and anger bleeding into my voice. “You do what I say, when I say it. I don't care how hungry or tired you might be: I own you. You do something like that again and I will make sure you regret it. Am I understood.?”

The hurt was clear on his face the second the words started coming out of my mouth. That quickly turned to anger once he actually heard my words, before settling into a quiet resentment. He remained tight lipped until I was finished speaking.

“Understood,” he gritted out between his teeth.

“Good.” I nodded with a confidence I did not actually have.

“I seem to have lost my appetite.” He stood, his bowl of stew still nearly full. “May I be excused to the tent, or do you need me for something?”

“...No. You may go.” I tried to remain as passive as possible, nodding my head only once and turning away.

I eyeswatched from the corner of my as Vakesh stomped off to the tent without so much as a look back, his bow still on the ground where he sat. As I watched with regret, I could hear the other Proudhunters behind me laughing it up, while off to the side, the Ragebloods continued to glare or roll their eyes. Seeing no other options, I joined Ritkal with the others in laughing and joking as we finished dinner.

Afterwards, I made my way back to the tent to find Vakesh already in bed. He did not look up when I entered, specifically rolling over on his cot to face away. I found myself wanting to say something, anything, but again was at a loss.

Which is why I am writing in you while he pretends to sleep on the other side of the tent. It doesn’t seem like either of us is willing to say anything to one another, about this or any of our other problems. I don’t know what to do, but I need to fix this.

Astraday,  Leus 26th, 4623

Well journal, today has certainly been an interesting one. And for once I mean that in a good way.

As I said yesterday, I needed to find a way to fix things with Vakesh. I would like to tell you that I spent all night wracking my brains to come up with a plan, but I actually settled on one fairly quickly: a hunting trip.

Unfortunately, when I asked him to come with me, he refused. So with a sigh, I ordered that man to accompany me, despite his obvious displeasure. I was hopeful that I would be able to fix that in the forest, so we strapped on our bows and gathered supplies, and headed out.

Thankfully, this all happened without any peering eyes, so I knew we were alone once we were far enough from camp. As the two of us trekked through the forest, I did my best to engage the man in conversation, but he would refuse me at every turn.

“The weather feels nice today,” I attempted to start with small talk.

“Mmm,” he hummed, still walking forward without looking back.

“Hopefully that means there are plenty of bucks out,” I continued.

“Mhmm,” he mumbled his agreement, not stopping.

“It looks like the lavender is starting to bloom.” I point out the light purple flowers as we pass them on our right.

“Must be,” he grumbled, trudging de pere into the woods.

I tried that a few more times, pointing out every plant and animal we come across. I was so preoccupied with that that I was not paying attention to where we were going, let alone actually attempting to track something to hunt. But nothing worked. Finally, with a frustrated growl, I came to a stop.

“Would you just talk to me!” I shouted ahead of me.

“Why?” he responded cooly after finally stopping himself. “So you can punish me when I say something you or your friends don't like?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, suddenly offended.

“You know exactly what it means!” He finally turned around to face me. “The second I think we are finally understanding each other, you show your true colors.”

“You seem to think we are friends or even equals,” I growled, stepping into his space. “Need I remind you that you are my prisoner? You are not here so that I can understand you, you are here because you attacked my tribe.”

“I know exactly what we are to each other. Or at least what we’re meant to be.” He took a step towards me, our faces only inches from each other. “But are you really going to pretend that over the last two weeks you haven't felt....something growing between us?”

“I do not know what you are talking about,” I responded flatly through gritted teeth.

“Of course not,” he said with a shake of his head. “You are nothing but an arrogant asshole, a coward, a...” He paused and turned to look slightly over my shoulder. “Bear.”

“What?” I pulled back in confusion. “I’m a bear?”

“NO!” he shouted, pointing behind me. “BEAR!”

I turned my head to see a large black bear coming at us, only seconds before I felt Vakesh grab my upper arm and pull me out of its path. It charged past us, skidding on its paws when it missed before turning to face us again. When I looked into its eyes, I could tell that something was wrong.

Bears do not normally attack like that. They will defend their territory, certainly, but that is not what it felt like was happening. If I couldn't already see in the creature’s expression that something was off, the foam dripping from its jaws was an easy indicator: the bear was rabid.

It roared loudly, scratching one of its claws against the ground before running at us again. Vakesh and I only had seconds before we had to dodge its next attack, this one forcing us to separate sides as the bear ran between us.

I drew my battle axe, digging my feet into the ground as I prepared for its next charge. To my left, I saw that Vakesh had drawn his hunting bow and was already notching an arrow. Sharing only a brief look with each other, we turned to face our foe, who roared loudly before attacking me.

I was prepared to dodge out of the way, or even climb a tree to avoid its path, but before I could move Vakesh had already landed an arrow in its flank. The bear roared again in anger and pain, stumbling before it rallied and adjusted its aim towards Vakesh.

Sensing an opportunity, I sheathed my axe and drew my own bow, firing an arrow of my own into its back. This caused it to stumble again, allowing Vakesh time to retreat several yards away. Before it had the chance to fully train its ire on me, Vakesh saw the opportunity and attacked again.

We traded off like that a few times, each of us working to draw the beast away from the other as we are further separated. Still, the beast did want to give up, no doubt fueled by its rabies-induced rage. It showed no signs of even slowing down, and the longer we fought, the more the bear seemed to ignore our damage. Eventually I had to fire multiple arrows to get it to turn to me, and in my haste I became sloppy: one of my arrows zoomed past its intended target, landing solidly in Vakesh’s right thigh.

He fell to the ground with a cry of pain, one that immediately drew back the bear’s attention. I started to rapid fire arrows into its back to get it to turn to me. It worked, but it seemed that the bear had finally had enough of our strategy. It roared loudly as it charged me, and I reached for my axe, prepared for a bit of melee as I retreated backwards. And then I tripped. The heel of my right foot got caught on a tree root, causing me to lose my balance and fall backwards onto my ass.

The creature had over a dozen arrows in its hide and still showed no sign of slowing down. As I attempted to scramble backwards on my hands, the bear loomed over me, foam and spittle dripping from its lips as it growled. The ground shook under its heavy legs as it came towards me, and I found myself backed against a tree with nowhere to go. This is how I die, I thought.

Until suddenly, with a yell, I watched Vakesh leaping onto the creature's back. It shouted in confusion, ignoring me as it was forced to deal with the attacker on its back. It attempted to dislodge Vakesh with a violent shake, but that man was holding on for dear life. Perhaps sensing that it was a pointless battle, the bear once more turned its rage-filled gaze to me. As it prepared to charge one more time, Vakesh climbed up to its neck, and holding a loose arrow in one hand, plunged it into the bear’s eye socket.

The creature lifted itself up on its hind legs as it bellowed in pain, only for a second before it collapsed to the forest floor, sliding towards me and coming to a stop only inches from my legs. My heart still pounding, I scrambled backwards and away from the corpse. Which Vakesh was still on, clutching tightly to its fur.

It was only when the beast stopped moving that he finally released his hold, his body sliding off the bears and rolling onto the forest floor. I leapt up and rushed to Vakesh’s body, not even stopping to check if the bear was even really dead. I quickly dragged Vakesh away from it, his eyes closed but the noises of pain he made when I grabbed him at least let me know he was alive.

“Why did you do that?” I asked him as he groaned. “You should have run. Or at least tried to hide.”

“I was not going to let you die,” he answered with a wince.

I could not help but laugh at that as I laid him as comfortably as possible so I could inspect the wound on his leg. The arrow went cleanly into his upper thigh, a small trickle of blood escaping from the sides. A healer in camp would be able to take care of that, but getting back with him injured would be a challenge. Luckily I came prepared.

I reached into my pack, finding one of the wrapped healing poultices my mother gives me for emergencies like this. After first warning him, Vakesh attempted to muffle his cry of pain as I gripped the arrow tightly by the shaft and pulled it free. I quickly pressed one of the poultices to the wound, the pressure combining with the healing properties of the herbs within to stem the bleeding and provide at least some superficial healing. It would be enough to at least get him walking.

“I am sorry,” I blurted out. “You were right. I am a coward.”

“Yes. You are,” he replied with a smirk.

“I... I will change,” I continued, finding my confidence. “As soon as we are back, I am going to--”

“Khazak!” Vakesh cried out suddenly,

“What is it?” I asked after scrambling towards his head.

Without answering, he reached up and grabbed me by the collar of my tunic, pulling me down towards him and kissing me with a smirk on his lips. I was caught of guard at first, our tusks banging together, but he held me there and deepened it until I had no choice but to kiss back. I became so engrossed in what we were doing that I forgot about everything that had just happened - until I attempted to climb between Vakeshs legs and he hissed in pain, his leg still sore.

“We should not be doing this right now.” I started to pull away. “You are still hurt.”

“So be gentle,” he responded as he held onto my shirt and tugged me back down.

I could only nod, the words sounding as much like a request as they did a test. I adjusted myself so that I would not be laying on top of his injured leg and resumed our kissing. He wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder, and tentatively began running my own down his side. As our mouths started to more fervently, our hands started to slip into each other's clothing.

My hand roamed down towards his crotch, where I could feel that he was rock hard in his pants, despite his injury. My cock was equally hard in its own confines, and after gently coaxing Vakesh onto his side, I tentatively rolled my hips forward to rub it against his. He groaned into my mouth in response, and I decided to get a little bolder.

I reached for the buttons on his pants, fumbling to undo them. I could feel Vakesh smiling against my lips before he reached down to start to do the same. I never realized how difficult this is when you only have one hand to work with.  But soon enough, both our cocks sprang loose and were rubbing against each other.

Reluctantly breaking apart for a moment, I reached around blindly behind me.for my pack. Finding it, I fumbled around inside for the vial of oil I always bring with me. I don’t pack specifically for that purpose, but also don’t pack it not for that purpose.

I opened it with my teeth spitting out the cork and pouring the liquid into my hand and over our pricks. I fisted us both, grinding them together as Vakesh leaned back in for another kiss. I worked to keep us at a steady rhythm, but Vakesh kept humping forward in an attempt to speed things up, which would also cause him to occasionally wince in pain.

“Relax,” I finally had to tell him. “Let me do the work.”

“Yes, sir,” he half-joked in response.

I smiled as I returned to our kiss, continuing to fist us both steady as I rocked forward against him. He did, I asked, giving me full control of your movements, only tensing up occasionally. It was involuntary, and it happened more and more the closer I brought him to climax.

Finally, with a cut of swear, he spilled over my hand and onto my chest. I continued to stroke him through it until he collapsed in a boneless heap at my side. Then I quickly focused on my own cock, following with my own orgasm soon after his.

We laid there panting on the forest floor with only the sounds of nature around us. As I blinked my bleary eyes, the visage of the dead bear suddenly came into view, and I jumped back in surprise. Vakesh laughed as I cursed under my breath, and after standing and using my shirt to clean the both of us off the best I could, I carefully helped him to his feet.

It was a slow journey back to the camp, with more than a few confused faces at our state and Vakesh’s injury. I ignored them all, taking him directly to the healer’s tent so that his leg could be tended to. After my mother healed him and allowed him to be released, I requested that our dinners be brought to me in our tent, where I planned on both of us being for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

I laid Vakesh carefully on my bed, much more comfortable than the flimsy cot he had been sleeping on up until now. And he is still here next to me right now, fast asleep. I am not sure what tomorrow is going to hold, but I know it is going to be different, and I am both scared and excited at seeing what that means.