Merry Fuckmas! (Patreon)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town

Not a cock was stirring, not even a hound;

The stockings were pulled up my long legs with care,

In hopes that a horny saint soon would be there;

My boobies were snuggled all tight in their beds;

While visions of cocks diving between them dancing in my heads;

For it was two heads I had, but only one cap,

But I’d just settled in for masturbation then a nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Like men both black and white and all kinds of cum to splatter,

I sprang from my bed to see whose dick was the fatter.

Anyway to the window I flew like a flash,

And tore open the roman blinds and threw up the glass.

The moon shone on my breasts like new-fallen snow,

And gave a shine like midday to cocks below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a rather large cock and eight inches thick,

With a pair of balls so large, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. Dick.

More rapid than college freshmen his load then came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called my heads by name:

"Now, Linda! now, Denise! now suck my big dick!

And play with my balls, to get me off again real quick!

Blown to the top of the porch! To cover the walls!

And empty them, empty them, empty my balls!"

As leaves that before a wild hurricane fly,

His cock erupted between my tits, spraying to the sky;

So up to the housetop the load he load he blew flew

These balls certainly would not be blue—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my heads, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

And his jaw hanging loose as he looked at our rack,

And then up to our eyes he tried and, then back.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

A silver fox stood before us to be sure,

And of Mrs. Clause we tried to demure;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And we laughed when we saw him, in spite of ourself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, in time

Soon let me to know we had been wasting his time and mine;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled the second slot of our cleavage with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of our nips,

And giving a roar, through our cleave he slips;

He sprang to his full length, and we gave a whistle,

And back and forth until he came like a missle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight—

“Happy Fuckmas to all, and to all a good night!”