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(Moved to RoyalRoad.)

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Anonymous

Maybe if you sold it as a "dark fantasy" instead. Michael Moorcock is as prolific as it gets... His characters and worlds often just get hosed coming, going, during, maybe even after (if alive). It's a certain style and maybe clearly differentiating your genre or style would eliminate the surprise.

eersc

So the start of chapter 39 was confusing as hell, from what I understand Rick called Tom to meet up, but there’s no reason why. And then suddenly Granny Whitney ambushes him, wouldn’t it make more sense for Tom to start off the invitation, it would make more sense plot wise

sarahlin

This... may be right. Working from a long buffer can be inconvenient sometimes, so I'll need to review this whole section. Thanks for bringing it up.

GoodOldChap

it will be interesting to see Emily's reaction to this

Anonymous

Seconded! Seems like you missed setting that up in ch37.

Anonymous

Cultivation novels are about growing, not overcoming everything in unrealistic ways. The issue is what they're expecting. I think perhaps having a sentence like this may help, "Real life isn't easy. Neither is Rick's. In a world where immortals rule as the 1%, a young man strives for something more. But with his only sister on the constant brink of death, will he be fast enough to save her? / This is a story about family, grit, and persevering through unfair $#!%. If you're looking for a story about handouts and a protagonist who somehow always wins, this isn't it. Welcome to Street Cultivation. It's time to get real." Also, have you advertised on r/rational? It's a subreddit for stories that take a realistic approach to storytelling. If there are any audiobook readers there that enjoy your works it may be worth putting up there. 🙂

sarahlin

I appreciate you taking the time to write this whole response. I struggle with descriptions, but you may be right that I need to step outside my comfort zone with this one. I've never advertised SC on r/rational, but that's an interesting thought. It might be interesting to them, though I've hesitated because I feel that many there are looking for full rationalist stories. I'm not great at marketing myself.

Anonymous

It caught me by surprise, too. But then I remembered that Rick wanted to find out why Jack was after him and how he was connected to the mob, so it would make sense for Rick to talk to people from the fight scene. I guess Rick started contacting people like Tom. Even so, there should have been a transition paragraph between chapters 37 and 39 to explain what I just mentioned.

Alexander Dupree

/r/rational has lots of partial rationalist stories on it. Don't worry too much. You'll probably get some blow back from a few people on the board who are sexist but most of them are open to stuff like this.

Alexander Dupree

So the complaints from people about how he just keeps getting crapped on and not winning are from people who just don't know anything about real life. This is an excellent addition to the genre with a few of the harem/wish fulfillment/self insert crowd complaining.

IBG_Music

I just finished the first book, and laughed my ass of at the aprli fools chapter! that was such a jab to xiania authors to lazy to care for their own story XD I really like this setting, and the first book was very entertaining. this one and cradle are what this genre should be. (at least from what I've read so far) Your start is good, hopefully it continues! there are some decent novels out there, but they're getting rare. Good luck on future writing.

sarahlin

Adding in some of that struggle was one of my goals, so I'm really glad to have found that some people are interested in a story like this!

Alexander Dupree

Yeah I get so bored of the "BEAUTIFUL BIG BREASTED BABE PRINCESS WHO JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HUMBLE YOUNG MASTER" I really like both Cradle and this for their normal female characters.

IBG_Music

the slim waist and their sickly pale skin. From that description it seems like they'll break under the weight of their own breast XD I mean it's good to have a few of them, but when all the women are either "world destroying beauties" or "Ugly" At least show some signs of personal taste for different people. I'm also tierd of that one guy, who's name gets mentioned, and then is called fatty for the rest.

IBG_Music

Unfortunately I'm caught up, but man the bad guys in this are actually interesting and the comedy is on point. I also appreciate the way politics are implemented, and the way it aligns with some of our problems like the climate, or a broken system(In some ways)

sarahlin

I'm glad you've enjoyed so many elements of the story I've put together! I'll have some more for you in a few days. ^-^

Rene Christensen

I could live with that. I just want fewer worldbreaking lucky encounters and fewer young master storylines where someone pursues a nonexistent grudge and no one has ever heard of deescalation.