what is feedom anyway? (Patreon)

161222 4:01am

everything i wish to do in the world, i wish to do for free.

because i want to,

because i love to.

i wish to create a free food co-op

a free bed and breakfast

a free retreat getaway place

to just rest in, to just be in, to just create in.

how funny that when people hear the word free, they either correlate it with freedom or with cheapness. how can it be both?

i wish to create a world where things that are free are correlated to being free. to freedom once and for all for all of us.

i wish to do everything i love to do, purely because i love to do it.

to give to myself and to nalcoah and to anyone else, when i have the energy to.

i wish to create the most beautiful school, that teaches whoever wants to, whatever they want to learn, for free.

a forest school and a mechanic school and a culinary school.

i wish to have a home that houses people and feeds them only nutritious delicious food, to have a place where money is never a thought, because when money is in mind, love can not be.

when money is the goal, life will never be.

but life must be the goal, to become more and more alive in who we are, who we all are.

life must be why we do what we do.

to breathe life into one another, to ask for the help we need when we need it.

to give when we have the capacity to and desire to, and to not give when we do not have the capacity to and do not have the desire to.

it has always felt wrong when i try to make money off of something i simply love to do. it has always felt WRONG.

no, this is not it.

no, i will not go about my life the way you tell me to, the way you have designed it to, the way you have convinced everyone else that it MUST be done, and that there is no other choice.

no.

there is another way, a much more beautiful way.

i know the way.

and i am learning how to articulate the way, learning how to explain it and plan it so that it feels and is possible in everyone else’s eyes as well.

i can not live like this.

i don’t think you can either.

not truly.

not fully.

i am not alive when i live like this.

and so i refuse to live dead anymore.

i refuse to live for money,

and if that means not having my house anymore, so be it.

i refuse to live as if everything is scarce,

and if that means having nothing to my name, so be it.

i will have my self, my own body to touch, and i will have the air floating in and out of my lungs.

that will be enough.

that is what life is, to see what it is we truly have.

the only thing we ever truly have.

life.

breath.

this

moment.

i’m still learning

and i have a long way to go.

but breath will fill me once more.

and breath will open me to all the wonders of the great green earth.