why am i always swimming against it? (Patreon)

151222 4:20am

just fall into the current. why am i always swimming against it.

the life i dream of, he says, i have it.

i photograph, he says, so i know that if i look at something differently, it completely changes it.

just fall into, i say.

and i tell myself,

just collapse into it, into all of it.

fall into the current and let the water take you.

water.

“just water. it’s just water!” she says as she splashes and plays with my daughter.

and i know the subtext that is being spoken to me through it.

just water. just water.

let the water wash through you.

it will take you back to the beginning.

the water is healing.

just

water.