every little piece is so, so beautiful. (Patreon)

i feel my pain.

the loneliness, oh fuck, the loneliness.

the heartbreak, dear god, the heartbreak.

the fear, please, i can’t handle the fear.

the anger, not more anger.

and beautifully it turns to,

the loneliness, oh yes, the loneliness.

the heartbreak, the sweet sweet, heartbreak.

the fear, please teach me, dear fear.

the anger, yes of course, more anger.

and what comes next,

the love, my goodness, the love.

the gentleness, oh sweet sweet gentleness. i can be gentle with myself now. i can be gentle with you now.

the presence, i am learning, how to be with myself.

the passion has returned, a different type, and has shifted to compassion.

but then there’s also

jealousy.

distrust.

meanness.

ill wishes. self doubt. self hatred.

so do i love myself?

am i gentle with others?

am i here, awake, with myself?

do i even know compassion?

i do.

that’s what all of this is.

every word.

a kindness, paying a deep attention to where i am.

if sometimes that is frustration or hatred at myself, allow it, feel it and be okay there.

if sometimes that is compassion and gentleness, allow it, feel it. there’s no need to second guess myself.

it’s all learning.

that’s all life ever is.

a learning and re-learning and unlearning. a beautiful walk with myself on this beautiful earth.

look around. listen. feel it all.

every little piece is so, so beautiful.

there is nothing, no-one, that doesn’t deserve my complete attention.