Half in the Bag: Borderlands (Patreon)

Half in the Bag: Borderlands

Eli Roth made a boom boom. Mike and Jay talks about Borderlands. What a misfire! Odd casting choices. No one want to make. Adult professionals pretend to "care" about characters in video game they never hear of so they can make a check to pay for their yachts and shrimp. The behind the scenes interviews where these clowns pretend to care might be the most cringe rizz eva. Jayme Loins Curtis (daughter of Bill Curtis son of King Arthur of Legend) is so old even Michael Myers is too old to kill her. Even Activa won't eat her old gut rot. She pretends to love and care about her character, Rizzo McPizzo but don't give none shits. Her net worth is 197 million dollars. Why she even work anymore? Just be grandma and let others have roles. Poor Cate Beckenblachett. Is it that hard to find good project? Tar 2: Back to the Tar Pits? You're much better than to play Ronald McDonald's sister. Kevin Hart like cash. We all know that. He sell out super bowl to tell jokes to audience of mongoloid farmers and city-folk who laugh at man on stage. He take role for cash and babbles about how he's learned so much and loved working with other actors, blah blah blah. Hart has over 500 million dollars in his bank now. Little girl who play Tiny Tim cry when she sees Rotten Tomato score. "Am I rotten?" she asks her mommy and daddy. Did I ruin the movie? No. EVERYONE ruin the movie. Especially Eli Roth. Craig Mazin said, "Take my name out you're fucking mouth!" before he slapped this film on live TV. Eli Roth left the set in a jet pack when the filming was done. The second he called action for the first time he realized it was a horrible mistake to cast numerous old ladies in the film who players of this game have never ever heard of. Should have made the cast of TikTok stars or YouTubers like the clown MrBeast. "What have I done?" he say! I ruined the legacy of this game no one has ever heard of! Whoopsie! Off to shoot Thanksgiving. Maybe making this film was a bad dream? Maybe they fix it in post. Doesn't appear to be so. This movie cost 110 million dollars to make. Sad to think that you could have made 110, one million dollar movies. So many interesting stories and ideas and Borderlands is a result of the old school Hollywood bloat and dinosaur thinking. You could have made 200 million dollars uploading a video to YouTube called "I tried all the fast foods and guess which one made me shit the most" so many people would have watched that. I'd watch that. End the madness. Art is dead.