Demon vs Nun Chapter 04 - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (Patreon)

1 Thessalonians 5:11 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Ennlin could not wait to have a look at the book. She was expecting to sacrifice her sleep for browsing but on their way over to dinner Detty explained a little about her schedule. She revealed there was a bit of free time coming after dinner. Also, tomorrow she would wake up to the laud, the morning prayer.

As they got to the refractory, half of the table was almost completely occupied by the mostly naked nuns. It seemed strange that they all sat on the door side of the table. Detty led them to the opposite end than Ennlin had sat at for lunch before. The librarian sat down on the last spot with a set plate next to a sister who was slightly more on the plump side. Ennlin was made to sit down on the leftmost spot, being the first on the other side of the table and still the only one who hid her body under a grey tunic.

Detty immediately talked to her neighbor in a joyful manner with open eyes and widely smiling as Ennlin settled down. The pudgy nun probably had the biggest pair of breasts the aspirant had seen yet, those were not even out of place with her kind of stature. Her nipples were plugged with engraved gold and pierced with red metal, like the other nuns’. Ennlin realized her stare lingered pretty long and looked up to accidentally meet her gaze. Her deep blue eyes held eye contact with her until Detty distracted her with a question. She took a second to look down at the gray robe and turned to answer.

Listening, Ennlin caught that her name was Jamie and that she was also granted to read a book from the library on her own time. Most of their conversation centered around the book and seemingly its juicy contents. Every time it got ‘interesting’, they chuckled and grew quiet.

Jamie had amazingly light, clear skin and some of her curly, fiery red hair stubbornly spilled out from underneath her coif. Even though her cheeks were pudged out a little, her cheekbones were still prominently visible. With a soft but plummy voice, her full lips distinctly pronounced every word perfectly and even moved the skin of her slightly acute chin and her pretty button nose. She was by no means fat, maybe chubby in the right places but a beauty nonetheless. 

Next to her sat Rosemary, the nun who feels pleasure while eating. She shyly looked down onto her own plate, not interacting with anyone.

Ennlin’s eyes perused over the table where whole spring onions, turnips, a wheel of cheese, smoked fish, and two loaves of bread laid ready to be cut into and eaten. Nothing was touched yet and the other nuns were still sitting in front of empty plates. Ennlin felt awkward but did not break her silence as she let her eyes wander.

The other side of the table was mostly occupied by nuns Ennlin had already seen or had met by now. Like at their previous meal on the other end of the table sat Agneta and Ekatharina. Next to them sat two nuns the gray aspirant did not know yet. They looked strikingly similar and were somehow sitting closer together than the others if that was even possible since all of them touched hips.

Describing one of them meant describing the other as well. Both had very light eyebrows suggesting light blonde hair, maybe platinum, but in a proper manner no strand peeked out anywhere. Their fair skin looked flawless from this side of the table but could not hide their slimmish lips. Two small but pointed noses curved inwards along their bridge naturally leading Ennlin’s view to their almost exceedingly big grey eyes.  

The door opened and in came Theodora then Charlotta. Theodora, still looking pregnant, walked slightly faster as if she just received a beating from the austere and equally pregnant looking prayer teacher. Both their harnesses stretched over their stomachs and constricted where they touched and both sat down next to Ennlin in the order they entered. 

Theodora moaned when her buttplug caught the edge of the bench with a loud knock as she sat down. “Hi.”, she quietly whispered as she turned to Ennlin in order to reached back behind her. She was so close. Ennlin could see pearls of sweat running down her heavily flushing face and full breasts. She seemed to smell of cut grass and ripe cherries as their breasts and hips would have touched were it not for the aspirant's tunic. Theodora leaned in and she rested her head on the grey-clad woman. She was so close.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a constrained moan right next to her ear and a defined squelching sound she was already familiar with. Theodora sat back up, exhaled sharply, and brought her hand back to the front to look down on her plate but nevertheless partake in the conversation and chatter with Detty and Jamie like nothing happened. 

Not long after the still heavily pregnant looking Frederika entered with a gaggle of four other happily chattering nuns, who went the other way around the table and sat down before Ennlin could have a decent look at them.

As the last one sat down Detty folded her hands and quietly yet still audible sang a prayer. Ennlin never expected anyone to sing a prayer before eating. Nevertheless, she respectfully closed her eyes, folded her hands, and listened closely.

~ Dear Lord in heaven bless this food! ~

~ If you feed us and this holy place ~

~ With your divinely sacred grace, ~

~ I swear you’ll have my gratitude! ~

~ Ame ~ eee ~ n. ~

“Amen.”, a choir of voices intoned. All of them immediately started gathering food on their plates and began eating.

“Aww, that was sooo sweet.”, Jamie admitted. She beamed with joy, as she seemingly did not bother to take any of the food. Ennlin smiled and nodded unconfidently as she took some pieces herself and started dining.

Entering her cell after dinner gave her a sense of comfort and solitude. She knew how to spend her two hours before bedtime well. The aspirant lit a candle on her desk, stuffed her blanket to the headboard and sat down leaning against the cushion. She pulled her feet close, put her knees down to the sides and placed the book on her feet. She hiked up her tunic to get comfortable and opened the book to skip to where she left off.

The first letter after ‘I’ were a few differently sized bottles each having writing and a cross on it. Holy water? Ennlin did not care to guess and turned pages.

The next was obviously a key. “Keee?”, she muttered. Ennlin hoped for something more entertaining and turned the page over.

The following drawing was of a nun dressed as if inside the convent, meaning she was missing her black tunic and presenting her voluptuous body and intimate jewelry. The nun obviously was wet, touching herself while peeking around a corner. The same red demon as on the pages before was drawn to lay on her back touching her own clitoris behind the corner. ‘Desire’ came to mind but ‘Demon’ had a similar sounding beginning, so that was probably not it.

Maybe the nun was lusting after the demon? Obviously, it was not wrong to touch herself as the nun in the picture most certainly did, too. Her right hand was on her breasts and her left between her legs from where her juices ran down her legs. The drawings were probably intentionally exaggerated. No woman could be this wet.

Ennlin now realized her own right hand had wandered between her legs and she had unconsciously caressed her sex with her fingers gliding along the upright slit between her flushed lips, touching on her inner lips and her peeking clit. Her fingers felt slick and every once in awhile she touched her clitoris, sparking electricity. She had to consciously stop her hand from their tantalizing act. Obviously, she was in full control of her hand and Ennlin held it up in curious regard turning it this way and that. Her juices reflected the candles flickering light inviting her to lick them clean.

“What am I doing?”, she asked herself as she put her hand down on her leg causing a wet and cold sensation there. In reflex, she wiped her fingers off on her mattress.

Ambitiously she tried to fend off the distraction and purposefully concentrated all the more on the picture to discern its meaning: “That's lust, isn’t it? The letter would be ‘Leee’, right?”, she imagined Detty being there to help her. She silently counted to the sixth letter thinking about how it was pronounced, ”Or maybe like ‘F’.”, it did not take long to convert this to the new letter.

“‘L’?”, she mumbled as she turned pages with her left hand. 

She realized her other had wandered again and her slickened fingers had pried her lips apart almost gaining entrance, but abandoned their explorative quest and just went up her slit. Ennlin’s fingers had rubbed her clitoris sending jolts of pleasure up her spine that they were just as slick as before, maybe even worse. Again, she wiped her juices on her blanket and rested her forearm on her right leg, but could not deny that they kept arousing her. “I have my eye on you!”, she jokingly mumbled looking at her hand, which she made twitch in disappointment like a hand puppet.

She returned to turning pages to find a nun with a different habit than the aspirant had seen yet, or lack thereof, as Ennlin slowly got used to. Straight and chin-length black hair spilled from her coif hiding most of her pale face but her nose, part of her eyes, and her thin lips. Ennlin admitted her mysterious appearance, with her hair masking her face, made her all the more intriguing.

Her remaining clothing looked like royalty. Golden embroideries could be found on her partly puffy partly skin-tight gloves as well as on her high heeled thigh boots. Her veil had similar embroideries suggesting her to be a nun of higher rank.

Granted, they did not cover much. Her frontally split scapular was exaggeratedly long and draped over her cleavage of similarly exaggerated breasts which were unsurprisingly pierced and plugged. The plugs’ tops, even bigger than the size of her own palm, were secured by additional straps that encompassed her breasts and connected to her harness. Other connecting straps also ran to her high heeled thigh boots like garters and over the open front in a way that made her harness resemble a corset. Just a few white straps held it together leading one’s eye to the low hanging ends of her scapular. These, in turn, framed the most peculiar aspect of this seemingly high ranking nun:

Her groin was equally exaggerated, Ennlin guessed. Her clitoris was engorged, more than double the size of her thumb and decorated with a delicate metal adornment that resembled a tiara, had it not also the properties of a gilded birdcage. It indented the skin of her clitoris which futilely tried to burst from its confines. The nun might have been able to take off the intricate jewelry but three piercings kept it secured in its tight fit.

Below her bulging clitoris, she wore even more decorations. A massive blue jewel in gold setting hid her pee hole and seamlessly joined a round plate similar to what the aspirant had seen other nuns nipples or anuses. Her sex was obviously plugged, but was she still a virgin then? Ennlin swallowed at the hardest question: Did the blue gem do more than just hide where she peed from?

Instinctively she covered her sex and realized her right hand was, again, already there having switched into a slower pace sending soft waves of pleasure, teasing her to higher planes of pleasure. Ennlin scolded herself and now sat down on her own right hand, after wiping her slick juice off of course, to not have the hand unconsciously quest for her treasure again. The part of her tunic she was sitting on was soaked already as she finally started to ponder about the letter of this page. 

Maybe the nun was the Mother Superior, the one Frederika was talking about: Mother Jutta. No. Detty said Mother Jutta drew this before she was the Mother herself. 

Her sex ached for attention now. 

Ennlin ignored it.

“Mother!”, she called out in realization. Her free hand was on her mouth immediately as she also realized that had been pretty loud.

If it was like ‘L’, the letter must be...

“M”, she intoned and felt proud but also hot and bothered. Her hand was still trapped underneath her ample buttcheeks and her clitoris begged her to be touched, to continue the alluring touch and to reach her revelation and then let her sleep the sleep of the just.

She knew as she freed her hand she would not turn another page that night.

Touching her folds felt like a soothing mist quenching a burning need deep inside her but it did nothing to contain it. On the contrary, the heat ignited as her fingers found her clit. Ennlin felt a deep desire within her trying to sear its way to the surface as her tender touch transformed into a rough pressure. 

Her hand felt cold and numb from sitting on it for too long which made the tender caresses resemble a stranger's hand. As it turned to forceful strokes squeezing her clit against her underlying bone structure her hand imitated the imaginable stranger’s callous yet perfect movements. A tingling in her hand set in at the same time as her heart tingled to burst from her.

Getting close to the edge, a deliciously sweet taste spread in her mouth as the steamy heat bubbled closer to the surface. She could feel pearls of sweat run down her cleavage as she savored the taste and pressed on towards the high she had been acquainted with quite a few times in her young life. A flash of light brought her a memory that momentarily paused her movement: 

“That's Rosemary… She's basically trying not to cum while eating.”, she heard Maggie say in her mind as she stopped but the breaking of contact between her fingers and her clit had her topple over the edge. At once the delicious honey turned to an acrid alcoholic taste as she came with a hand covered muffled cry and her body curled around her core in the twitching aftermath of this blunder.

The aspirant, in half-hearted refusal, reckoned her orgasm desecrated her cell, the convent and everything the nuns believed into the core. She had invited demons to invade her body, to take possession of her and do with her as they pleased.

A nun was supposed not to come and to stay strong despite sore temptation. A tear ran down her cheek as she closed the book and stowed it on her small desk. After blowing out the candle the aspirant heard nuns around the cloister start chanting for evening prayers. Ennlin undressed and went to bed feeling ashamed of what she was and unworthy of what she wanted to become.

It seemed the nuns chanted through the night because when Ennlin awoke similar chanting could be heard. Interwoven voices from different directions sung an indistinct gospel of a much happier nature than the evening chant. 

Ennlin got up, but her heart did not. She still felt like she betrayed the convent and desecrated the house of God in the most vile manner. She simply felt ashamed and on top of that her tunic’s back bore the mark of her offensive act as it was not fully dried yet. 

The aspirant had to dress to feel the semblance of comfort though, yet being clothed felt uncomfortable while comparing herself to the other nuns' state of undress, but less so. She went to the neighboring cell to see Maggie and ask her where they were supposed to be next.

Maggie was humming along with the chanting with closed eyes while sitting on the edge of her bed in the nude. The red metal in her nipples rose and fell with every breath and every hum. Ennlin did not understand any of the words that were sung but Maggie probably was not better off. The aspirant observed until the chanting seized just before the bell of the chapel rang.

Maggie jumped up and turned towards the clothes on the floor behind her, making her boobs sway with the sudden motion. Ennlin could barely make out the sides of her breasts peeking past her body but got presented with Maggie's full and round buttocks as she bent over to pick up her habit. The aspirant just did not feel like marveling at her guide’s perfect behind this morning. She still felt awful and just wanted to hide in a hole somewhere. Ennilin hated the pun that only came to mind because of the admittedly nice view.

Maggie turned around while putting on her scapular and gloves to finally see Ennlin standing in the doorframe. She must have known her ass had been on display a second ago but either did not let it on or did not care. 

“I want to go home.”, Ennlin announced.

“What? Why? You haven't even been here for one single day yet.”

“But I feel terrible. I can't possibly be a nun after what I’ve done!”

“What did you do? Drink too much holy water?”

Ennlin did not get the joke as Maggie chuckled and a few seconds later sighed to break an awkward silence that fell between the two. 

“Let's bathe and eat first. I'm not listening to your whining on an empty stomach.” 

Harsh words, but she had a point. Ennlin was hungry and most of all felt dirty. Maybe she could wash some of it off.

Before Maggie had put on her boots Ennlin was already on her way to the bathroom thinking about drowning her shame and sorrow in the warm water. 

As the aspirant came into the room with the big warm pool six nuns were already there. Theodora and Agnes were submerged up to their necks conversing. Ekatharina was sitting on the edge soaping her gigantic plugged breasts. Frederika was just about to get in and the twins were undressing. 

“Good morning, Ennlin!”, both mirrored sisters said in unison as if they had practiced doing so before.

“Good morning.” said the aspirant in a melancholic tone. Of course, they picked up on it.

“What's wrong?”

“I want to leave.”

“Really?”, asked one twin with a concerned tone only to be continued by the other in a jesting manner: “You haven't met the most amazing person here yet.”

“Who would that be?”, Ennlin, still full of shame, could not deny the spark of interest.

The twins pointed at each other with deadpan faces which they could only keep up for about five seconds until both burst out simultaneously. They held their stomachs while their breasts jumped in laughter.

“Not funny.”, Maggie clicked her tongue as she came in.

The twins did not care. Their overly jesting demeanor did not change as they introduced themselves. Silvestra and Amnistra looked like the same person even up close. There was no way to tell them apart.

Ennlin smiled sheepishly as she slowly and ashamedly undressed. She felt exposed after her clothes were stowed at the most secluded alcove and followed the twins who of course were naked before her and already on their way around the pool. Like Ennlin guessed, both had platinum, almost white hair, down to the small of their backs. Their bottoms were full and luscious supported by toned thighs that made their cheeks bounce with each step. As they turned to enter the pool by the stairs Ennlin had again an excellent view of their blessed curves. There probably was no nun without piercings. Both of them had been wearing a piercing in each nipple, two just behind each areola and a dangling cross on their clits with further decorations right above and in their pussies’ lips, just like the other nuns. Neither of them had plugs though.

Ennlin realized all eyes were on her unclothed body, probably even shaming her for not having been pierced yet. She decided to not take the stairs and bashfully slipped into the water right there. As she looked up she saw Maggie pass with rolling eyes. Strutting along the edge of the pool and flaunting her curves like a doxy and caught the attention from everyone.

The aspirant felt all alone. A few tears welled from her eyes and her lower lip trembled. She did not want anyone to see so she turned to face a corner of the room. Ennlin soaked a little until more nuns entered and the only way to hide was to dive. 

At the breakfast table, she was mostly silent and looked down on her roasted bread with butter and quince jelly. She had bitten off a piece and had been chewing on it for the last five minutes. She was the last to leave the pool and consequently the last at the table. Agneta and Theodora were at her end quietly eating, Charlotta was next to her looking stern as per usual and Ennlin did not bother to look for more sympathetic faces.

The bell rang as a signal for everyone to leave for their respective duties. Ennlin took her meager second bite. Even though the jelly was supposed to be sweet the food tasted bland and unappealing.

Maggie approached her, looked to the ground and hesitantly spoke: 

“Well, Study would be the next thing on your docket. Feel like going there together?”

Ennlin shook her head. Ennlin waved her off and to her relief, Maggie left the refractory. Feeling like this, she did not want to talk to Maggie about her jilling herself off and eat humble pie. Well, there was space for it to be stomached though. At least she should be honest about it and tell Detty. She would probably understand.

Having picked up the book from her cell to return it, Ennlin appeared at the library with a queasy feeling in her gut. The librarian was quietly talking to someone around the corner of a bookcase, but as Ennlin came around Detty was alone.

“Detty?”

“If it isn’t my favorite stude-... Aww, you look particularly depressed.”, the librarian saw through her and knew exactly how Ennlin felt. Somehow she seemed to have the uncanny ability to look deep inside of her and see her inner feelings. The raven-haired woman could only fight the tears welling up stinging in her eyes as Detty observed, yet invitingly opened her arms. Ennlin’s first instinct was to bury her face in her hands but decided against it. She wanted to bare her feelings, to offer them visible on her face and invoke the librarian to commiserate her with her failure. She wanted to confess, to rid herself of the shame she had burdened herself with.

Detty’s caring deep brown eyes looked down upon the meek aspirant. Her cheeks dimpled in a benevolent smile as she slowly stepped closer with her breasts slightly bouncing and her cross dangling off her clit. She was everything Ennlin wanted to be, just a step in front of her yet so far away.

The tears stung as they blurred her vision of the stunningly beautiful librarian. Ennlin fell in her arms and mashed her breasts against Detty’s which felt fittingly rigid where her plugs were sitting. Finally, in what seemed like a safe haven, she could not keep it to herself any longer and began sobbing uncontrollably. Tears flowed, her lips trembled and breathing required longer pauses than her sobbing allowed, making her breath sound ragged and hoarse.

“Dear, please tell me what's weighing you down.”, Detty patiently waited for Ennlin to finally get control of her sobbing, part from their hug and tell her.

“I want to leave and give this back.”, she held up the book but the librarian just paused pressing her lips together. 

“You are not finished with it, I’m sure. Keep it.”, Detty’s lips curved with a slight smile.

“But I failed you.” Ennlin sobbed again as her hand holding the book fell to her side. She was relieved as she finally started to pour her heart out.

“How? I didn't even give you anything you could fail.”, her forehead furrowed with the implied question.

“Maggie said if we come we invite demons and I…”, Ennlin suddenly feared to finish the sentence.

“You came?”, Detty’s concerned look gave away that she could relate.

“I've not even been here for one single day yet...”, she interrupted herself with a particularly hefty sob, “... and I have already invited the demons. I’m so ashamed!” her last word broke off in uncontrollable sobs again.

“You know what?”, the librarian ushered her to the chair and table Ennlin had sat at as they went through the book together. She plopped the book on the table and made the aspirant look as she took a few strides to situate herself in the middle of the room. She turned abruptly swaying her pierced and plugged breasts as she assumed a well-practiced position.

”Listen to this.”, she paused in order to emphasize the coming words:

“There is no shame. There is only pride. 

For the Lord gave you this body to care for man in his stead.

There is no disgust. There is only love.

For God gave you this body to care for man in his stead.

There is no pain. There is only pleasure.

For the Almighty gave you this body to care for man in his stead.

There is no anger. There is only joy.

For He gave you this body to care for man in his stead.”

Without Ennlin realizing it Maggie had entered and both continued the prayer together

“There is no fear. There is only faith.

For the Creator gave you this body to care for man in his stead.”

Ennlin wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeves and felt a soothing calm settle on her like a blanket. Maggie placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered, “I have faith in you, Enn.”

Detty smiled at Maggie like she did not expect her to bolster the aspirant up but chimed in nonetheless. “Yes. Ennlin, will you tell us how you got to this point?”

“No. It’s too shameful.”

“There is no shame. Shame is only the feeling of humiliation caused by your perception of wrong behavior. If you bare it for everyone to see you can quite literally shrug it off.”, to accentuate her point Detty exaggeratedly shrugged and made her pierced breasts bounce.

“Well, I...”, Ennlin could not possibly tell them.

“Where you looking into the book?”, the librarian suggestively smiled and pointed at the book that still laid on the table where she had thrown it, innocently illuminated by the morning light.

“Yes…”, Ennlin flushed.

“Did you learn any letters?”, Detty smiled with… pride? Maybe due to her student being taken aback by the lewd content.

“I think so.”

“Okay, we left off at ‘I’. Do you want to continue together?”

“I don’t kn-”, Ennlin feared the exaggerated drawing of the Mother would trigger something in her she did not want to resurface, but Detty interrupted her in her kind spirited yet rushed manner.

“Look, these are easy.”, Detty pulled up a chair to Ennlin’s side opposite of Maggie who was still standing with her hand supportively on her shoulder. She took the book and opened it where they had left off.

“‘J’ is for Juices. See? There are vials and bottles.”, Detty traced the curve of the letters and then pointed at the drawing, “We sell our blessed bodily fluids for our believers to reinvigorate and fortify themselves with. It helps so many people to feel better just by imbibing holy water and it even decreases the chances of a possession. You won’t just bring happiness by lifting the depressing aura of a demon, you can even bring an aura of sanctimonious grace to any person who drinks from or bathes in your sacred juices. Well, as soon as you wear the sacrilegious jewelry, that is.” Detty pointed at her nipples where the red metal gleamed.

The librarian turned pages and paused.

“Keee…”, Ennlin quietly mumbled.

“Very close. I’m so proud of you.”, Detty could not suppress a giggle while looking up at Maggie who just sighed as their eyes met.

“‘K’ is for the Key to Salvation. Not a literal key for that matter, mostly since no chastised nuns are within our convent as of now. Still, it symbolizes the chastity we vow ourselves to.”

“Chastity? You vow to stay a virgin? You keep demons in your butts! How are you virgins?”, Ennlin forgot her shame for a second to vent her momentary upset. She had stood up and shrugged off Maggie’s hand.

“Virginity is of your sex only. Do you know what a hymen is?”, Detty calmly asked after a few seconds had passed.

“Yes.”, Ennlin fell back to her self loathing and sat down, “It’s blocking the en-”

Maggie placed her hand in the aspirant's shoulder interrupting her: “You don’t have to describe it. I’m sure you know.” 

The librarian used the pause to study her and then briefly looked up to Maggie, “We have ours still, too. Of course anus, mouth and nipples don't count for that since they are needed to extract demons. Vowing yourself to chastity isn’t so much a rule than it’s a precaution. Any nun, wearing blessed metal in her nipples and pussy could theoretically use any orifice to exorcise a demon, even her womb. Not coming from sexual intercourse while extracting is the complicated part, because a demon would do anything to make you come once extracted.”

It seemed Maggie could not help but to complete Detty’s explanation. “That's why only the most strong-willed nuns use their cunts to exorcise demons because they won't cream themselves while-...”

Detty’s eyes went wide for a second and she cut Maggie off with with a head shake.

She tried to salvage Maggie's continuation: “How an exorcism works exactly, you will get to know if you decide to be pierced and become a postulant.”

“What’s postulant?”

“It’s your year of study before you become a novice. You’ll learn everything that makes a nun what she is and prepare for your noviciate, your first year as a real nun. Right now you are an aspirant and you will have to decide if you want to stay and fit in.”

Ennlin’s view fell to the ground and she sighed. Being a nun was a long way off. And having a long way to go did not make her any less inclined not to just leave.

“Let’s continue. Do you know this letter?”

“‘L’ and ‘M'”, Ennlin announced and turned pages herself to quickly get past what turned her on so bad last night. She wanted to forget her failure now, to just leave it behind together with her arousal.

“Right.”, Detty said in a perplexed tone. She must have realized this was part of Ennlin's shame because she added: “There is nothing wrong with lust, you know? It's part of what’s required to extract a demon. Also, you surely have questions about the Mother Superior, but maybe another time.”

Even though Ennlin skipped the page, the drawing of the alluring high ranked nun stuck in her mind. She mused about the huge plugs and the restrictive cage confining her bulging clitoris. The aspirant grew wet again. Her heart beat just as fast and forcefully as last night. 

She did not want this to turn her on right now but could not purge it from her mind.

“Ennlin!”, Detty woke her from her inner struggle. They were on a page with another lewd drawing: a pierced nipple, like a nun would have with the red metal. Whoever’s nipple was depicted there she must have been aroused badly, because it was visibly hard lifting the red metal barbells, which had been pierced directly through her hard nipple, standing up and away from her areola. 

The aspirant felt a hot flash wash over her causing goose bumps and her nipples to harden as well. She felt them rub against her woolen tunic while breathing, which itself had significantly sped up. She did not want this. If she comes again, she would invite demons. She would threaten the whole convent!

Ennlin shrugged off Maggie’s hand again while abruptly getting up and kicked her chair over to run away. She rushed out of the library unconsciously taking the way to the chapel running as fast as she possibly could. As the aspirant realized where she was heading she just did not turn at the corner of the cloister avoiding the way to the chapel and simply went straight ahead. Panting, she left the cloister and continued along a corridor ending at a gate.

She exited through the gate to a gravel path with the chapel on her right and a pasture on her left. The open area she had entered was still within the monastery's walls, but there were animals here. Ennlin saw pigs and goats, chickens, cows and an intimidatingly big horse. She smelled freshly cut grass and heard a few song birds chirping.

The aspirant took in the tranquility of this place and slowed to a walking pace around the pasture She did her best to calm down her racing heart by taking deep breaths.

Behind her the gate opened and closed, but Ennlin did not want to look. Quickly two sets of continuously crunching footfalls on the gravel closed in on her as stinging tears welled up in her eyes again. The aspirant stopped in her tracks to lean against the wooden fence looking out over the pasture.

“Ennlin, I know how you feel.”, Detty’s voice sounded concerned.

A hand rubbed her back but it wasn’t the librarian, who had come up next to her leaning her forearms on the fence and observing the animals just like Ennlin.

"When you understand what you are afraid of, not the fear itself but the actual thing threatening you, then you may come to terms with the feeling and conquer it. Knowledge often eliminates fear, as most fear is of the unknown. Do you want to tell me what frightens you?” Detty spoke with a calm and soothing voice but did not look at the aspirant.

“I don't want to invite demons. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”, Ennin said after a long pause.

“Do you mean in here?”, Detty kept a similar pause, maybe to calm Ennlin down further by adjusting to the same speed.

“Yes. If I come, I put everyone in danger.”, a tear ran down the gray woman’s cheek.

“Who told you that?”, Detty was curious but probably could have guessed.

“I did.”, Maggie said and first seemed like she wanted to add an excuse. Instead, she leaned on Ennlin’s other side on the fence in just the same manner as the others and sighed.

“Well, in here, you are safe to come as much as you want, as long as you are not in the process of exorcising a demon.”, Detty smiled.

No. It could not be so easy, could it? Ennlin quickly grew mad at herself for being so dumb not to simply just ask. It would have been so easy, just a tiny question. Why didn’t she? Why did she just assume what she thought was right? A melancholic wave washed over her with a cold shiver. Ennlin sighed.

Detty carried on: “Try not to come next time though.”, and stressed the last word: “It will be good training for when you cannot.”