Tanya And Elora at the Winking Priestess (TFMC) (Patreon)

Whoops. Posted the wrong story earlier. Sorry about that, here's a new one!

-----

Elora nearly burst out laughing. “You’re insane!”

“No, I’m…” Tanya brushed a blonde hair out of her flushed face and scowled. “Quit laughing! This is serious.”

“It is absolutely not,” the elf snorted, pouring herself another drink. Elven tea, in this case, straight from the pot. It wasn’t ‘tea’ at all, of course, but humans tended to be the ones who named things in the Capital, and sadly she just had to live with that for now. “You’re just bored.”

Around the pair, business went on as usual. Business had been slow at the Adventurer’s Guild lately, and so El had decided to enjoy her day off with a visit to an ‘authentic’ elven café – which was really just a normal café with more plants in it. Honestly, if you didn’t develop a taste for human attempts at culture (and learn to laugh about them only when they weren’t watching) then their cities really would drive you mad. Still, the staff here were elves too, and they really did do a good shell cake just like they made them back home, so the sorceress didn’t mind the occasional visit…

Then Tay had, of course, come bursting in through the door waving a bunch of Missing Person fliers around. That was another thing humans did that El could really do without…

“I’m not bored,” the paladin protested. “I’m just seeing a pattern here, and if we act quick we can cut it off before it becomes a problem – and maybe help some people while we’re at it.”

“You’re jumping at shadows.” The elf sipped her tea. Ugh, bitter – but still better than most places she tried. “Where did you even get those posters, anyway?”

The blonde glanced away, trying not to look embarrassed and failing. “Oh, you know. Around.”

El pinched the bridge of her nose. “I knew it. You’ve been scouring the entire city looking for a quest, haven’t you?”

Tay’s flinch told her she was right on the coinpurse. “I- Maybe…” Then Tay rallied. “But I found something! Look!”

And she spread her collection of posters on the table, right next to El’s cake stand. Ugh, sometimes she could be so barbaric…

‘Well at least she didn’t wear her work clothes to come bursting in here,’ El silently noted to herself as she watched her friend work. ‘That’s something.’

She could wear her adventuring outfit wherever she wanted - a sorceress’s robes were a symbol of status. A paladin’s armour was a declaration of war, and one that would probably get them both thrown out of the building before she’d had a chance to finish her afternoon treat.

(El hadn’t worn her robes out here, of course. A sorceress could wear whatever she pleased, and today she’d chosen a nice flowing red dress that she felt was both stylish and authoritative. Tay had chosen grey pants and a blue blouse, which… counted as clothing, the elf supposed. Barely.)

Someone prodded her in the arm. She followed the source of the poking hand, and found Tanya staring at her, looking annoyed. Ah, oops. Her lapse in attention had been noticed.

“What were you saying?” El smiled brightly as she took another sip of tea.

The blonde rolled her eyes and started again. “Look, a number of women have gone missing in the city lately…”

“And by number, you mean…?”

“… Three.”

“And lately being the last 2 months, was it?”

“… Four.”

Elora sat back, shrugging, feeling her point was well made already. “Sounds normal to me. Cities are big places. Lots of people disappear in them.”

Tay huffed. “Maybe, but these three were all in the same area, at the same time of night…”

“Oh gosh, people wandering out alone at night disappearing, how unusual.” The redhead rolled her eyes, setting her cup back down. “Oh wait, this is a human city, isn’t it? Which means that happens all the time!”

“Okay, first off, not… all… the time…” That hadn’t sounded as confident as the paladin had wanted. “And second off, no one ever found a trace of a struggle or anything. Just, completely vanished, without a trace.” Better.

The sorceress considered her points, stroking her chin. “Hmm, you’re right, that is suspicious.”

Tay’s eyes lit up. “Right?”

“Yeah, no way human muggers would ever be that efficient.”

Hope turned into a scowl. “… Not funny.”

“Little funny.” The sorceress winked. “Look, Tay, I know you mean well, but this is nonsense. It’s just a coincidence.”

The paladin sighed. El could see she was frustrated, but her friend had always kept a good grip on her temper. “I mean, it could be, but you know this area, you know the taverns…”

That drew a chuckle. “Damn right I do~” The west end was a delightfully low class place to take a night’s wander when you were looking for a bit of cheap, no strings attached fun.

“And you could help-”

“Damn wrong I can’t!” The elf cut that line of thought off quickly.

Her friend wilted. “Why not?”

El sighed. “Okay, Tay, Tanya, Darling, Dearest, my finest friend, my noblest comrade, with whom I should gladly walk to the ends of the earth, and upon whom I would rely to cut down the silent lady herself… I forget where I was going with this.” She’d gotten a bit too lost in the flattery.

“You were about to tell me you’d help?” Ah, paladins could be so adorable sometimes.

“Ha! Oh right, yeah, no. Not ever.” The elf shook her head. “Not happening.”

Tay folded her arms. “Why not?”

“Think about what you’re asking me!” El raised one hand in a gesture of exasperation (the other hand was holding her plate). “One does not go around all of the taverns of the west district inviting indiscretion~”

“I’ve pulled you out of enough of those taverns,” the blonde fired back. “There are less discrete mountain stompers.”

Elore glowered, taking a spiteful bite out of her shell cake and making sure to chew well before answering. “Okay, let me put this in simple paladin terms for you: You don’t go around those places asking questions. You don’t do it! At best, they’ll throw you out. At best. And at worst…”

The paladin was ahead of her. “Look, if they start a fight, we can handle-”

“That’s not the worst option!” Or so she’d thought. “The worst option is them banning me! Do you know how much those people talk? If I get barred from one bar, I’m barred from the entire district! My drinking days in the city would be over!”

There was a pause as the blonde thought this over. Then… “I thought you said they don’t talk about this stuff?”

“No, I said you don’t ask questions.” She shot her a pointed look. “They talk about stuff all the time, they gossip more than a barrel of drunk fairies! Start a rumour in the west district and they’ll be hearing it in the Forbidden Keep by morning. And I have no interest in the Wood Lord Council thinking that I’m a snoop, thank you.”

Finally, Tay seemed to sense that the argument was lost. Thus, she resorted to the ultimate tactic: Whining. “Come on, El, this could be important!”

But the sorceress wasn’t going to hear it. “If there were lives on the line, fine, but this is just you getting bored and restless because you haven’t had a good adventure for a while.” Honestly, this felt like it happened every time they had a dry spell. “Not every mysterious disappearance is a mystery to solve! Sometimes people just get lost, or fall dead in ditches somewhere.”

Not even her strongest move had been enough. “Fine, fine. I’ll just go do it myself.”

That made the elf pause, holding in place, tea cup raised almost to her lips. “No, Tay, I told you-”

But the blonde had already risen and turned away, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m just going to ask some questions. It’s not going to spoil your precious reputation.”

“Ugh, you never listen to me.” Elora snorted and took another sip of her tea. “Well fine then! Do it on your own! No business of mine what you do with your time.”

“Right. Exactly.” The two nodded, somehow both agreeing and arguing at the same time. Then the blonde started to walk away.

She was almost to the door when Elora called after her. “Tay!”

The paladin looked back over her shoulder. “What?”

Elora was looking uncomfortable, though she hadn’t gotten out of her seat. “Just… Be careful down there, okay?”

Now it was Tay’s turn to roll her eyes – though she was smiling slightly as she did it. “I can handle myself, El, don’t worry. I know how to keep safe.”

-

Two nights later, it was raining.

“Where is she?”

There was a chuckle, low and ruthless, almost lost under the hiss of the rain. “You must be new ‘round here, Petal. People don't go askin' questions in these-”

There was a crack that most people mistook for a peal of thunder, and a set of cut-off cries as four thugs fell to the alley floor, already unconscious. The man who’d spoken wasn’t as lucky. He found himself slammed against the stone brick wall behind him, a ready to cast fireball shining right in his face.

“Where. IS. She?” Elora growled, her voice cutting through the raindrops like a diamond through glass.

“W-Who? Who?!” There was no ruthlessness to the man’s tone now. Only terrified desperation.

“Tanya,” the elf grunted. “Blonde. Human. Idiot. Came around here two nights ago. Asked questions.” Her grip on his collar grew tighter, and the fireball drifted closer.

“I- I dunno!” Flames was starting to burn the tips of his eyebrows. “But-!”

“But?”

“I heard- I heard somethin’. ‘Bout a nosey blonde.” The fireball paused. Steam rose over the elf’s hand as raindrops found the open flame.

Finally, she spoke. “Where.” It wasn’t a question.

“I- I heard she was around the Winking Priestess! It’s, ah, it’s out by the-”

“I know it,” Elora cut him off. “If you’re wrong… I’ll find you in the morning.” The fireball winked out.

Then, before he could breathe a sigh of relief, she snapped her fingers, and a second peel of thunder sent the gang leader to join his underlings on the floor.

The elf turned and stalked away, rain dripping down her travel cloak. The Winking Priestess was a good lead, and she planned to follow it. Even if it proved to be a dead end, it’d be a good place to ask more questions. Hopefully that wouldn’t be necessary – El quite liked the place normally. It was never short of a friendly tavern wench and a warm mug of ale. She wasn’t all about elvish tea after all.

But if it’d help her find Tay, well, she could always find another tavern.

-

The atmosphere grew a bit more pleasant once she arrived and stepped inside, pushing the heavy door shut behind her. The pitter-patter of raindrops on the roof was immediately smothered by the sound of some busker playing a violin over in one corner of the bar, and the heat of the roaring fire in the other corner saw to the night’s bitter chill.

Already, she could feel the hubbub of general conversation washing over her, soothing her frayed nerves. Elora was a social creature by nature, and crowds were her element. She’d take strength from that tonight.

So, with all her social graces and charms, she turned towards the tavern wench already moving over the greet her, a smile on her face. As noted, she was hardly a stranger here – in fact, she’d dare say she was one of their better customers, at least while she was in town. That should be worth a little intel, right?

“Y’look like you’ve had a rough night, luv,” the woman said, ushering her in from the door. “Come on, in from the cold. What’ll you be havin’?”

“Thanks,” El sighed, brushing back her hood and letting her long hair fall free. “I-”

Then she froze.

“Tay?”

The wench looked confused. “Who?”

The elf blinked. This… This couldn’t be Tanya… Could it? She had to be seeing things. But for a moment… When the firelight shifted just so…

El had been companions with Tanya for years, now. They’d been assigned together on a team by the Adventure’s Guild a long ways back, and even though that team had now mostly gone their separate ways, the two of them had remained by one another’s side through thick and thin – no matter how mad they drove each other from time to time. And while, yes, as an elf she did occasionally have trouble telling humans apart, this particular human had left a pretty firm impression on her.

That shade of blonde – light, with just a hint of golden shine that Tay could do something with if she ever bothered to wash her hair right… The glint of warmth sparkling behind otherwise clear blue eyes… The casual grace of her step, with movement so light that she could be mistaken for a dancer…

Yeah, all those features that most people would kill for that Tanya refused to care for properly at all. They were all there! But…

Well, there was warmth behind those eyes, but El’s friend had always possessed a sharp, insightful gaze. This woman looked… a little dull, to be honest. And while she moved in a similar way, her body was… different. A little shorter, and a lot, uh… bouncier. Holy crap, if Tay had had boobs like that she’d solve most of her problems by taking off her chest plate! And the real clincher, the real twistle on the shell cake, was the fact that Tay would never, ever, ever wear a top cut that low. Like, one jiggle too many and those girls were popping out to give the whole tavern a show, no mistake. The girls who worked her were known for having no shame, and forces above, that top told everyone the rep was well earned.

Plus, you know, it was one thing for Elora to confuse two humans, but there was no way Tay would ever forget her. No one could. She was amazing.

So no, this couldn’t be Tanya. She shook her head. “Sorry. My mistake. You just… reminded me of someone.”

The woman chuckled. “No skin off my back, luv. An’ no wonder you’re confused, ya’ must be soaked! Here, lemme take that for ya’…”

The elf allowed the woman to help her shrug out of her cloak and hang it up on a crowded hook by the wall, revealing her red robes. Not quite as intimidating as a set of full plate, no, but they could still send a message to those who knew how to look.

Not that this place was likely to have many people like that, truthfully. The Winking Priestess was as seedy an establishment as it sounded – seedier, in fact. That was one of the reasons El liked it. This was the kind of bar that the dregs of society crawled into after hauling themselves out of the gutter for an evening. River pirates. Thieves. Wastrel adventurers. And, most dangerous of all, the locals. At the end of the day, everyone was looking for a drink and a good time – something El understood perfectly.

She found herself being led over to her own table nearer to the fire than the busker. Her blonde server got a grateful grin for that – her ears were sensitive enough to be able to hear how badly he was murdering that poor instrument from over here, thank you. She had no desire to get any closer.

“Y’just take a seat here, luv, ah’ll go get ya’ a drink. Any preference?”

“The usual,” El sighed, sinking into her seat. She wasn’t relaxing – far from it, if this was where her friend had vanished – but it was nice to be off her feet for a bit. “Five gold pieces in it for you if it’s less watered down than the street outside.”

The blonde chuckled. “Ah’ll see what ah can do, luv,” she said, winking. “Ah know how to take care of my customers, don’t ya worry. The name’s Lorna, by th’way.”

Oh right. “Elora.” Of course. This woman must have been a new hire if she didn’t know her already. Kind of obvious, really – she’dve recognised her if she wasn’t.

The elf waited a moment, watching as the blonde strutted away – oh my, that was a fine ass under that skirt, wasn’t it? The low hemline concealed it a bit (it was hardly a designer garment, just a commoner’s garb) but the way her hips swayed while she walked made it pretty clear that she was just as blessed below as she was above…

Ah. Focus. El. Not hear for that. Not tonight, anyway. But as long as things didn’t get out of hand, she’d definitely be paying this establishment another visit soon, put the new girl through her paces…

Right, right, focusing now. Okay.

So this was the last place Tay had been seen. It fit. She’d wanted to ask questions about disappearances, and this tavern was exactly the kind of place she’d try. Which meant someone here had seen what happened, and where she went – whether it had been under her own power or someone else’s.

The idea that any of these fools could force the paladin to do anything she didn’t want was ludicrous, of course – even if she hadn’t been wearing her armour, she’dve had no problem laying out an entire bar full of thugs in one swing of her sword. But, well, she could be a little naïve, could Tanya – or at least, that was how Elora felt. So her getting tricked was certainly possible.

Either way, finding out was going to entail asking questions, as much as it galled her. Still, she was pretty sure she could handle it. She was a much subtler creature than her adventuring companion (no matter what Tay said), skilled and wise in the way of social wiles. Already, her sharp elven eyes, capable of picking up even the smallest of details even at a hundred paces, were scanning the room, looking for the weak link, for that key figure who’d spill everything he or she knew if she slid up next to them and-

“GAH!” Cold water poured over her scheme as an equally cold, though alas not quite so chemically pure, liquid splashed over her back, and the bitter scent of ale filled her nostrils. “What the-?!” She spun around, eyes blazing.

“Ah, sorry ‘bout that, luv!” Lorna rushed to her side, already dabbing at her with a towel. “Can’t believe it, almost never trip like that!”

El twitched. The urge to summon flames was overpowering. “My. Robes. Are. Ruined!”

“Ah no, don’t worry ‘bout that none.” Another round of dabbing at her neck and back. “Here, come with me. Let’s get you inta’ some warm clothes while those ones dry, back with the girls. Dun worry, drinks are on the house tonight.”

“…” For a second, the elf paused, caught between two competing forces. On the one hand, she absolutely wanted to cause a fuss. Someone had just poured a mug of ale down her back! She was soaked to her core! Surely that deserved a few fireworks? A couple of big ones, at the very least!

On the other… This was the perfect opportunity to get back and talk with the tavern staff without anyone watching. If anyone was going to know what had happened to her friend, it’d be them. Getting one or two of them alone would be exactly what she was after. And free drinks on top? That was a good offer.

On the third, ethereal hand, she really liked these robes.

…

Rgh. Fine! She snatched the towel from the wench’s hand, running it through her hair and drying her face. “Lead the way.”

-

By the time the elf stumbled through the staff-only door behind Lorna, she was feeling very glad she’d chosen to do so. She liked to think of herself as having a strong constitution (for a spellcaster, at least) but the fumes of the ale she’d been drenched in were already starting to make her feel dizzy. Nothing too bad, but not dissimilar to drinking the entire mug in one gulp. Hoo, what did humans put in this stuff?

Either way, once they actually reached the break room, where staff members came to take five – separate from the kitchens, the ‘wine’ cellar, and the bedrooms upstairs (which were certainly not for resting in) – she was feeling much happier. The unbridled fury had kind of fizzled away, melting like an untreated tankard that tried to hold orcish scumble. Heh, now therewas a drink.

But yes, she wasn’t feeling angry so much anymore. Annoyed, sure, she was absolutely going to have to send these clothes out for magical cleaning, but the tension in her shoulders had all but evaporated. She wasn’t drunk, forces no, but a touch of alcohol had maybe shifted her inhibitions a little bit. So, not angry, no.

She’d switched to flirty.

“Mmn, you know, most women have to buy me at least two drinks to get my clothes off like this,” Elora giggled as she helped Lorna slide her out of her robes.

(An absolute lie, for the record.)

“Well, luv, most girls who want this kind of service have to pay at least a few gold up at the bar,” the blonde replied with a wink, hanging the sorceress’s robes up by the stove in the corner. “But take a seat, ah’ll find ya something to wear while ya wait.”

The elf did just that, pulling up a stool and sitting down in just her underwear. She wasn’t even that bothered about being nearly naked, save for the fact that she was wearing her practical adventuring underwear, and not the kind she normally brought out for a night on the town.

But she wasn’t here for a night out, right, right. No need to forget that just because she’d gotten herself a private audience with a big busted lady. This was serious, Elora. Even if she didn’t feel particularly serious right now.

What had been in that drink? It hadn’t even touched her lips and yet she was still feeling so flighty. That didn’t feel-

“Here y’go!” Her line of thought was cut short as a bundle of cloth was thrown in her face. Scrambling, she pulled it off, and sighed as it unfurled into a tavern server’s uniform – which was to say, a common cloth dress, creamish white for the top blouse part, and black for the long sweeping skirt below.

Oh gods. “Is this really all you’re got?”

“’Fraid so,” the bar wench chuckled. “We don’t got many fancy dresses kept back here.”

Ugh. It was so basic. But fine, whatever. She needed something to wear before she could get back on task. Grumbling, she slid the dress on up her legs, sliding into it and allowing her new blonde friend to tie up the corset strings behind her back. And while she was at it, she also ignored how loose the dress felt around her chest and ass – nope, not paying that any attention at all, ha ha ha.

But no. Time to get to business.

She smiled up at the blonde server as only an elf who has been transgressed against can, and made her offer. “Now Lorna,” she said, as sweetly as she was able. “I’ll let you off for ruining my favouriterobes for just one teeny, tiny favour~”

The human raised an eyebrow. “Oh aye? And what might that be?”

“Mmn.” Elora nodded cheerfully. “I have some questions.”

“Ah, now those’re dangerous things, luv.” The woman chuckled, closing the wardrobe she’d grabbed El’s new ‘uniform’ out of. “Can’t be askin’ those ‘round ‘ere.”

“Sure sure suuure.” The elf leaned forward, not minding one bit about how much lower it sank her neckline. “But still. I’m looking for someone.”

“Aye?” The blonde looked her over, her eyes clearly taking in what El was putting out. There was a moment of hesitation. Then, “Well… tell y’what. Ah have an idea.”

With a grin, walked out of the room – and almost as fast, marched straight back in, this time carrying an ale cask over one shoulder, and holding two flagons in one hand. Setting the two vessels down on the table in front of the elf, she hoisted the cask up, popping the spigot and filling both to the brim with a familiar smelling ale.

Hoo, just the scent of it sent El’s head spinning again.

“The deal’s this, luv,” Lorna chuckled, setting the cask down on the floor and taking a seat. “Ah like a fair wager, so we’ll drink for it. One question per mug – as many as ya can manage. And if ya drink me under the table, ah won’t tell anyone you were pokin’ around where you shouldn’t. Deal?”

“Oho?” The elf’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “And what do you get if you drink me under?”

The blonde winked. “Well then you forgive me fer the robes, and maybe help me cover a few shifts around here. Happy hour’s murder when we’re short on staff.”

Psht. Yeah right. That wasn’t even tempting enough to make her lose on purpose! And there wasn’t any other way that’d happen - elves might look frail, but they could handle their drink better than any human, Elora was willing to wager. Easy enough bet.

With a grin, she took up her flagon, and knocked it against Lorna’s. “You’re on. Cheers!”

The pair lifted their drinks and, as one, threw their heads back, gulping the ale down. It went down easy enough – El had done this kind of thing enough times to know what she was doing. The drink was strong stuff. Not the strongest she’d ever had, but strong, with a real fruity flavour, and it washed down her throat pleasantly, leaving a warm feeling in her chest as it went.

It wasn’t until a moment later, as she set her mug down and wiped her lips, that it really hit her. A sudden giddy, bubbly feeling shooting right up her spine and into her brain. A pleased murmur rumbled from her throat as she absently brushed a strand of red hair back behind a pointed ear, satisfying heat settling in her belly and in her head. Ohh, this was the good stuff~

Leaning forwards again, she didn’t notice that her top now seemed to be a tighter fit than it had before…

“Sssso…” the elf giggled, before shaking her head. She wasn’t drunk, she wasn’t. “So I’m lookin’ for a person…”

Across the table, Lorna seemed to be completely unaffected by her own dose. “Aye?”

“Aye~” El nodded, pouting for a moment as she tried to think of a way to describe Tay. “Kinda tall, kinda blonde, kinda no fun… Seen her?”

“Could be a lot of folk,” the kinda tall, kinda blonde woman said with a shrug.

“Oh, well, she’s-”

Lorna cut her off with a quick tap of her flagon. “An’ if ya want another question, we take another drink.”

Elora snorted. No problem for her. This was the good stuff. “Oh fine. Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

Another clack as the pair knocked their mugs together, and then another rush of fruity wash, the ale flowing down Elora’s throat as fast as she could pour it. This time she didn’t have to wait for the stream of bubbles and sweetness shooting up into her brain. Giggles spilled from her lips as she swayed lightly in her chair.

“Mmn… ‘sh good,” she mumbled. “What’s in that, anyway?”

Lorna raised an eyebrow, “Is that your question?”

“Huh?” Blink. Blink.

The blonde chuckled to herself, and then shrugged. “Well ah don’t know, anyway. Ah just serve the stuff.”

“Oh, right.” Made sense. El nodded, raising a slightly wobbly finger as she came up with her next question. “Well, kay, so…”

Only to be interrupted again. “Ah ah ah. Another drink for another question, remember?”

Eh? Oh, sure. Whatever. Not like she minded. “Hehe, sure!”

Clink. Splash. “Mmmn~” This time it felt like half of the drink went down her front instead of in her mouth, but Elly didn’t mind. It helped her cool off – ‘cuz she was feeling all kindsa hot right now~ Plus it helped loosen her top a bit, which was getting stupidly tight for some reason.

This stuff was good, wow! Making her head feel all light and sparkly. Not that she was drunk or anything, no, no, of course not. Elves totally didn’t get, like, absolutely sloshed like that, right? She was just feeling nice and warm and giggly…

It took her a moment to come back to herself, but eventually she noticed the blonde staring at her. “Oh! So… Shooo…”

By this point, Lorna wasn’t trying to hide her grin. “Yes?” She asked, making sure to speak slowly – a point that was lost on her competition.

“Mmmn, right, I was… I were lookin’… fer a friend…” Elly drawled, slowly fishing her way through the heady sparkles. Absently, one of her fingers started playing with her long red locks.

And the blonde just nodded along, encouraging. “Aye, right…?”

Elly giggled again, leaning forward and squishing her top-filling tiddies against the table. “Total dumbass…” She hiccupped. “But kinda cute if y’didn’t know her…”

The tavern slattern snorted. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…” She slumped a little, eyes fluttering. Totally wasn’t drunk or nuthin’… Just a lil’ sleepy…

Lorna’s voice roused her back again though. “Well maybe ah can help. What’s ‘er name?”

“Her name?” Elly blinked, waking back up. “Uh. Her name. Her name… Her name was… Uh… Her name was… ‘S on the tip of my tongue…”

The redhead paused, thinking deep. She even brushed her hair back out of the reach of her distracting fingers, locking it behind a smooth, rounded ear. The name was… It was… It was… Uh…

Another fountain of giggles bubbled up from her chest, and she shook her head, clearing it of all confusion. “Who were we talkin’ about again?”

The blonde smiled – her grin nowhere near as empty headed as Elly’s own – and waved the question off. “No one important, luv. Now drink!”

That was something she was all too happy to do, gladly chugging another round of ale – and not noticing in the least as her eyes dulled, and the last touch of ethereal shimmer left her hair. If anyone looked right now, no one would have been able to tell that the drunken slattern on that stool was an elf… Because she wasn’t.

Nope, not a drop of elven blood in her. Round ears, dull eyes, fat bottom and graceless figure… She was just another plain, average human, like the woman across from her.

Why? Was she supposed to be anything different?

As she set her mug down, sighing in bliss as another part of her old self dissolved away in a sweet, alcoholic haze, Lorna leaned forward, pushing her own chest out. The pair were almost equal in that department now.

“Y’know,” she said, still grinning. “Ah’ve got a question for you now, luv.”

“Mmmn?” Elly smiled and swayed. It was a fifty fifty shot that she even realised she was being spoken to right now, to be honest.

“Those robes over there…” The blonde pointed to the ale-stained clothes strung up to dry by the stove. “Are ya sure they’re yours?”

The drunken redhead looked around and squinted at the corner. Oh, yeah, those looked kinda familiar. “Yeeeaah?”

“Ah dunno…” Lorna shrugged, shaking her head in disbelief. “Ah mean, those look like the robes of a cunnin’ and powerful sorcerer, if you ask me…”

Elly giggled and preened.

“… And ya don’t look none nothin’ like either of those things.”

The preen turned into a pout. “Heeeey…”

Lorna’s lips stretched into a smug grin. “Well, prove me wrong then. If yer really a spell slinger, cast a spell! Easy, right?”

The redhead’s brow furrowed. Huh… Okay, she could do that… Couldn’t she? Uh, how did magic work again? Um…

“‘Course, if ya can’t,” the blonde continued, still smug, “then ah guess you’ve just gotta accept yer not a spell caster. That those ain’t your robes. In fact, ya gotta admit that you ain’t nothin’ but a dumb, slutty tavern whore – just like the rest of us~”

“Ooooh… Kay…” Elly nodded. That all made sense. But it was fine, it wash fine! She’d just cast a real- a reeaaallly shimple spell, right? Like… Like… Like fairy lights! That wash a shimple one, right?

A slow, stupid smile grew on her face as she lifted her finger, tracing a rune in the air that she’d learned by heart. It was one she knew so well that she could do it in her sleep. It just went here, and like this, and then twirly whirly whirly wooo…

… Nothing happened. The magic that she was so used to, the power that was supposed to flow through her, that responded to her call and swept through her enemies as she demanded… Wasn’t there.

Which might have troubled her, if that hadn’t been the moment that all that delicious drink finally caught up with her. Instead, her eyes just rolled up in her head, and her bubbly, giddy mind shut off.

Thonk.

Her face pitched forward, slumping down smack in the middle between her breasts. Eyes sliding closed, already snoring, Elly sank into a slumbering oblivion, carried by the softest pillows she’d ever known.

“Heh.” Lorna shook her head and stood, gathering up the flagons. “Welcome to the job, Anna.”

-

Happy hour was always a rough time for any tavern, but it didn’t come rougher than at the Winking Priestess. Barely an hour in and the floor was full, the orders were backed up, and the kegs were running near empty. Just another normal weekday night.

Lorna was doing her best to keep up, taking orders, snuggling close for tips, and enduring an unending cascade of gropes, tickles and pinches. She wouldn’t mind that none, o’course, but none of the blighters bothered leaving a bloody tip!

So when she saw a familiar redhead finally make an appearance behind the bar, naturally, she stormed over.

“Anna!” She glared. “Where’ve ya been?”

And if the redhead even noticed her ire, she didn’t show it. She just giggled, applying a new coat of thick dark lipstick to her face.

“Mm, upstairs~” She said with a wink. “Tha’ old gent in the corner wanted a lil’ lonesome with me. Couldn’t resist~”

“Fer three hours?!”

Anna’s lips split into a satisfied smile. “Mm. Turns out, he woz an elf. Y’know what they say ‘bout them. Gold fer all night. Stamina fer days~”

“Oh, that so…?” Irritation switched to another emotion – jealousy. “Well ain’t ya a lucky one then? Why’d ya come down ‘ere if you got someone like that waitin’ on ya?”

The redhead giggled, leaning up against her blonde friend. “Lettin’ ‘im get ‘is breath back – then ah said ah’d bring a friend for part two…”

“Ooohh… Well then…” The pair shared a knowing look.

Sure, there was plenty of work left to do down here, and they were short handed enough as is, but a woman had needs, right? The two of them may have been a bit thick in the head, but they were thick in the tits and arse department too, and they knew how to flaunt it.

“Before that, though…” Anna said, grabbing up a pair of flagons and slamming them under an ale cask spigot with a well-practised flourish. “Can’t forget our nightly treat, aye?”

“Oh aye.” The tavern keeper had always insisted all of his girls make sure to keep themselves properly aled up on the job. Lorna accepted her drink with a nod. “Cheers~”

“Cheers!”

The two knocked their mugs together, and both washed back the familiar fruity flavour – utterly oblivious to the magics that swam through every drop. Magics that would make sure that the pair would never be anything more than what they were now.

Just two tavern wenches. A pair of unremarkable dim human sluts, ready and eager to serve the lowest dregs of society – as long as it got them a little coin.

Why should they be any other way?