Nobility And Arranged Marriages (Patreon)

"Why am I in space?" There are many ways one could react upon finding themselves in the situation I currently am in, and I imagine most of these situations would include screaming and panicking.

Right now though I'm way too confused to do any of these things. Maybe it's because I can still breathe here? Or maybe because I haven't immediately been torn to shreds? Well, in the end it doesn't matter, what matters is that I feel strangely calm.

So calm in fact that I try to call for my childhood friend. "Rika! You there!" She's not on my shadow, that's for sure. And she also doesn't answer to my call... I would say this is a bad thing, but I'm actually sort of glad.

If I did end up getting randomly teleported to space with no hope of coming back, then at least my girlfriend is safe. Still... isn't this kind of a nightmarish ending? Being stuck in the middle of nowhere?

I... Well, if I got to pick, then I would at least choose a place where I can watch the Moon. At least that way I could eternally dream of Arcueid or something... Actually now that I think about it, doesn't this sound like something caused by Arcueid?

I cross my arms. "Okay, so how did I get here... wherever here is..." I don't recognize any of the planets and stars that surround me, and I definitely can't see Earth. Without a doubt I'm really far away from my home.

So first I must retrace my steps... I was planning on how the date with Sensei and Touko should go, and then I went to sleep... Wait, this isn't the work of Sensei right!? She wouldn't send her pupil to Namek out of embarassment right!?

In the end none of this matters though... Yuta Okkotsu will simply accept his existance as a Jojo villain. Yes, that's right I should stop thinking and accept my new fate already. There's nothing here after all...

And besides, maybe this is sort of my home anyways? I possess grain after all, so it would not be completely inaccurate to say Yuta Okkotsu is a being who thrives in space. Hell, maybe the whole reason I'm still alive is because of that grain.

"Ahhh! Screw that! I want to have a harem damn it!" And not even a bad end such as this one will be stopping me! I'm getting back to Earth and marrying a bunch of wonderful people if it's the last thing I do! "C'mon power!" I'm desperately hoping to access my inventory.

I know everything is stored in Rika, but maybe I can call then through distance! That way I can access Sensei's gloves and... do something. And if that doesn't work out surely I can pull something else from my ass!

A blushing girl suddenly interrupts me. "W-wow, that's certainly a lot of passion in your voice! Though I don't know exactly what a harem is..." Oh? A girl not knowing such a perverted thing is a rare pleasure.

Which is why I raise an eyebrow. "Really? Wanna learn?" My Okkotsu senses are going overdrive, 'cause she's cute. Super cute. She has some silver hair, green hair going on... they almost look like crystals too.

And then there's her beautiful green eyes... and the fact that she's dressed in some sort of... cowboy clothing? I can't quite describe it. Anyways, she's super hot so she gets the seal of approval for me.

She gulps. "I wasn't expecting this to be our introduction, but..." A smile then appears on her face. "Sure! Tell me all about it! I would love to learn more about humans and their culture, considering our... unfortunate situation." It's time to corrupt her purity a bit.

A smirk appears on my face. "A harem is when a human is involved romantically with multiple people. There are many forms of it, of course, but the one I seek is very specific... A ton of women loving me and only me!" What a wonderful dream...

She gasps, her green eyes widening. "Why have multiple mates though...? No, I suppose I get it." She makes a thinking pose, which sort of looks funny considering we are floating in space. "Humans tend to be weak, so reproducing as much as possible is only natural..." Harems aren't only about reproduction though, they are also about love!

She squints her eyes. "But why should the females limit themselves only to the males? Wouldn't it be more efficient if everyone got... ahem... freaky with everyone?" She pulls her hair back. "Geez, maybe I should go ask Ritsuka about this..." Who?

There's no need for any such Ritsuka's for I am here! The true expert! "Hah, it's not about efficiency! You are thinking about it in completely wrong manner! The truth is simple...! Having a bunch of girls fawning over me would be awesome, and I would hate if they fawned over some other guy!" It's easy.

I suppose one might call me a hypocrite, or insecure. I mean, why can I date multiple women and the women can't date multiple men? The reason is simple as well my curious friend.

Because I really am hypocritical and insecure! It's just that I don't care one bit for it damn it! I rather end the world than let some other guy's dick get anywhere near Rika! Call me craven if you so desire, this Yuta Okkotsu doesn't care!

The green haired girl slowly nods. "I think I get it... As a invading species though, I don't think I can allow something like that, sorry. I'm someone who's supposed to take, not share after all." Ah, anothet Akiha huh? What a shame.

Wait a second. "Screw this harem talk! Who are you anyways!?" I got too distracted at finally having 'human' company once again, and ignored the fact this is clearly a impossible situation.

She seems more confused than anything. "Eh? You were acting like you knew me just a second ago though..." She looks away. "Is this that legendary technique when someone fakes not knowing another person to give them the cold shoulder?" What sort of technique is that!?

She smiles, it's a toothy grin. "Sorry Yuta Okkotsu, but such tactics won't work on me. And neither will the other tactics I was warned about, such as ghosting and the such." Who's warning you of those!?

She chuckles. "To be honest, I didn't really care for this whole thing, but then I noticed that you are undoubtedly what the humans would call love. As such, an aspiring free wind such as me won't easily let you go." Well...

A girl never called me love before, so I'll take the compliment...? And I will also calm down and analyze the situation. It's clear that this girl knows me, she even knows my name, and she also expected me to know her.

We are also apparently under some kind of arrangement, one most likely romantic in nature considering the way she's talking. And apparently she had advisor to guide her through this whole mess.

What kind of space opera did I get involved in!?

I try my best to strike a poker face. "Um... Miss... the truth is that I really don't know who you are." She seems unconvinced, which probably means I should keep talking. "I just sort of woke up here, without a single clue." Hopefully she trusts me.

For a few moments she seems suspicious, but slowly she raises an eyebrow. "Really...? This isn't some kind of evil attempt to embarrass me because I was too anxious and ended up being late to our date?" Don't tell me was always supposed to be here...

I nod. "Yeah, I didn't even know this was a date until now to be honest." Wait, this is a date!? "By the way, completely unrelated by your hair is gorgeous." There you go, a standard Yuta Okkotsu compliment!

She gasps. "W-wow, that hits surprisingly hard coming from you..." The moment I wonder why that is the case, she elaborates. "Such a shining loving existence... I really am being drawn in so easily... I imagine that any entity that loves love would fall easily for you." I still don't understand.

Thankfully she continues. "Beasts are definitely off the table, you are their natural enemy, but... Insanely jealous goddesses, demons hungry for love, any would fall with, but a single glance... And to be honest that fact makes me wanna tear them to shreds!" Don't say such a thing with a happy smile!

Still, if I understood correctly what she's trying to say... I'm yandere catnip? That doesn't surprise me at all. That said I certainly didn't know my abilities were so mighty... Wait, did she just admit to being a yandere!?

The girl then scratches her cheek. "Or at least that's what I think, but I don't really get love, it's new to me." Is this girl one of those... goddesses or demons? "That said, this is why you're probably so dangerous. A being devoid of the concept of love would be hit so hard that they would devote anything and everything to you." That's cool. I guess.

She giggles. "Thankfully I met ya before anything like that could happen! You see the truth is...!" Before she can finish what's she saying the landscape abruptly changes, or more accurately we change our locations.

I am no longer floating, instead my feet are now stepping over beautiful white flowers found in beautiful white plane, and a beautiful castle overlooks it all. It goes without saying, but the word beautiful can be applied to anything and everything here.

Specially her, Arcueid with her long blonde hair and beautiful white dress. My wish of staring at the Moon has been fulfilled and yet... that Moon feels colder than ever.

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Why are you here Archetype from other lands? Shouldn't your spending self be helping those humans at Chaldea?" She doesn't even bother to look at me, like I'm but a but here...

No, I'm probably less. A bug would be noticed and crushed for daring to infest this place, since she hasn't even bothered to acknowledge me, it's more like I have become nothingness. I simply am not here.

The... archetype? Laughs. "My bad for not giving any previous warning, but I had to ditch Chaldea!" She walks closer to, and holds onto my arm. "I'll be going now, I'm busy! By the way just call me Kukulkan." It's a familiar name, one I definitely heard about before.

Arcueid's eye twitches. "I believe I require a fair bit more explanation about your current activities before you may be allowed to leave." As expected she's ignoring me and only looking at Kukulkan.

It feels kind of cold, and I desperately want to ask her what's going on... However, such an action may upgrade me from nothing to bug, and she may decide to crush me. Without Rika she will definitely succeed too.

But... I don't care, I want her to look at me. "Yo Arcueid, why are you being so rude? I'm here too, so at least say hello." She doesn't answer me. She doesn't acknowledge me. Her stare keeps on focused on Kukulkan.

And the green haired girl responds. "Well, it's..." She looks at me. "Since that Alaya apparently didn't explain anything, listen well! Both you and Archetype: Earth over there need to hear this." Huh? What name is that...?

Kukulkan releases my arm and makes a piece symbol with her finger. "Alaya and the Oort Cloud decided to make a big alliance! And... well..." She blushes. "Since it's an alliance with the will of humanity, one might as well borrow their culture right?" I have a feeling I love where this is going!

Kukulkan smiles is awkward, and yet excited. "And there's nothing more human than an arranged marriage!" She giggles. "To be honest I wasn't all that too excited about it, but I think Yuta Okkotsu is the type of person who is compatible with me." This...

I smile too. "I'm totally okay with this! This has my approval!" I have no idea why I of all people am getting involved with this though. I'm guessing it's because of my grain? Either way I will take my wife who is probably from space.

Kukulkan blushes. "An immediate approval!? Aren't you supposed to reject me with a straight man answer...!?" She takes a deep breath. "A-at least that's what everyone from back in Chaldea told me..." Nah, I'd marry you.

"N-no..." A weak voice, quickly lost to the wind leaves Arcueid's mouth. Normally someone wouldn't even hear it, but such weaknesses coming from her might as well be a miracle. At least when it comes to this Arcueid.

She quickly recomposes herself however, her tone is yet again as cold as it can be. "I do not approve of this alliance. One might even say it's an affront to Gaia herself... What about the deal made with the Oort Cloud involving the extinction of humanity?" The what!?

There's no way I could be silent in a moment like this. "Hey, what do you mean by extinction of humany!? Give me details Arcueid!" Without a doubt it will be Sensei's fault somehow. Either that or she will be the one saving the world.

Yet again Arcueid rejects my existence, and Kukulkan has to pick up the slack. "Don't worry about it Yuta! It's something so far off in the future that it doesn't even matter. I mean, you're not worrying about the Sun eventually exploding, right?" I-I guess so...

She smiles and then looks back to the vampire. "And about what you asked... It was simply a plea for help. It was answered at the time, but now it's not more." She pulls me by the neck with a hug. "Besides, isn't he just the cutest!?" Thank you!

Arcueid's eye twitches. "I see. Very well, you may leave." It's strange in a way, because she simply opens the gate, metaphorically speaking, instead of kicking us out like I would expect.

This... I respond to Kukulkan's hug with one of my own. "Okay! Let's get married then! Oh, we should probably continue our date before that though..." I think I now have a picture of what's going on.

So I will go along with it. Partly because Kukulkan is super cute, partly because humanity might be depending on me... and mostly because Arcueid is pissing me off. She's my girlfriend, so if she's gonna give me the cold treatment for no reason, I will respond the same way.

Kukulkan's hug gets tighter. "Oh...! Master was totally right, having someone enthusiastically consent is the best! I can see why he said I should ask for it before doing anything!" I don't even want to know.

To be honest I sort of despire her so-called 'Master' right now. Mostly because being sexually assaulted on space by Kukulkan would be the greatest moment of my career as a space fearer.

Arcueid grits her teeth. "Archetype, I have told you that you are free to leave. Do so now." She refuses to acknowledge me again, and yet again she also refuses to kick us out. Her tone as cold as ever.

Kukulkan releases me from the hug and laughs. "Okay! Sorry that I got all lovey-dovey here! It's just that Yuta Okkotsu is true love, so I'm all excited!" I accidentally caught a space yandere. Great success.

Arcueid sucks in breath. "I'm aware. Though I fail to understand why such should matter to beings such as us... " Arcueid, my girlfriend, saying love doesn't matter as she watches Kukulkan with a cold gaze?

I finally understand what's going on, like some sort of switch of knowledge has been flipped on my brain. "Arcueid, I really will leave with her ya know?" I still plan on having a harem of course.

I wouldn't abandon everyone back home so easily, specially Rika. I want Arcueid's head running through a thousand possibilities though, because right now I'm fairly sure she's just being a bit ol' tsundere.

Because if I was a bug she would have crushed me, and if I was nothing she would have seen through me, but she hasn't. A person doesn't need to make a conscious effort to ignore nothing, because nothing is there.

Arcueid however if trying her best to make it as if Yuta Okkotsu wasn't here, in her efforts to ignore me, she's acknowledging my existence, and acknowledging how much I'm driving her crazy. It's certainly an ego boost, that's for sure.

Which is why when Arcueid ignores me again, I extend a hand to Kukulkan. "Okay! Let's go...! By the way, I noticed you were curious about human culture, so I'll teach you a thing or two." Much like I did to Arcueid.

Kukulkan goes to grab my hand. "Sure! Oh, I have some stuff to teach you too...!" I don't know what it is exactly, but I definitely know it will be exciting.

Even so, I know such a moment will never come, because... "Wait Yuta! Wait!" The princess of the Moon desperately runs towards me. It's almost a comical sight to be honest.

Her dress is far too big, so it drags across the ground, when that happens she lifts it up. It's like the sight of an actual fairy tale princess running to her beloved, and it's also another ego boost which I will gladly received.

Kukulkan raises an eyebrow. "Eh? What's with this unlikely sight?" I have a feeling her previous words are now repeating on her mind. The words about the very specific type of woman who would fall for me.

Arcueid continues her path of being strangely hilarious, because once she reaches us, she pushes Kukulkan to the ground with a pathetic shove... Or at least it looks pathetic to me, but I'm certain it could move a country.

The green haired Archetype falls without any resistance, probably because she's too shocked to give any in the first place. The cold Arcueid from before is simply way to different from this one, who cries like a woman having her crush being stolen.

Arcueid hugs me. "You can't go Yuta...! And if you need to go, I want to follow you!" It's akin to a prestigious princess holding onto a peasent, and maybe that's why this cocky vampire was so against acknowledging me.

I don't want to toot my own horn here, but she knew, that if she accepted me, she would go crazy for me. Decorum, a superior existence, even her own lack of a heart, all would fall in a second, and she would become a fool.

I'm an arrogant guy too though, which is why I completely ignore her and raise an eyebrow. "Eh? Why did you suddenly fall down like that Kukulkan?" I'm giving the vampire a taste of her own medicine!

Arcueid gasps, she immediately understand what's going on. "You can't... you cannot do such a thing, fool!" It's weird. She's Arcueid, but she feels different from Arcueid, but she's... It doesn't matter. Her soul shines through.

Kukulkan sadly doesn't play along. "Ah... this is dangerous... Is this what humans call incest?" No!?

But... for some reason a strange image comes to mind. One of a prince going off to marry a princess of a far off land, and his cold sister suddenly insisting no one could have her brother. Contrary to what Arcueid says though, we are not related.

Arcueid keeps trying to get my attention, ignoring Kukulkan's comment. "Yuta Okkotsu, I am addressing you, so I respect the same courtesy!" The irony is palpable. "I demand your attention! Right now!" It's way too adorable of a sight.

Kukulkan gets up. "Um... this complicates things, but..." She starts pulling me to one direction. "Stealing you sounds strangely exciting!?" You did say you were an invasive species before.

Arcueid is now pulling me too. "Drop him! Harlot from far off lands!" Please stop, since I'm human I may get torn apart.

This might not be a bad way to go though.