Midnight Pals: Being Droll (Patreon)

Oscar Wilde: ah midnight society
King: OMG! Oscar wilde
King: guys it’s Oscar wilde!
Poe: yes steve
King: they say he’s the wittiest man in the world
Wilde: hmm and what is the world but a very big globe with people and other things on it
King: ha ha! Oh man I’m laughing already!

Wilde: there’s only one thing worse than being in a society and that’s not being in one
King: oh zing! Ha ha! He sure got us there!
Wilde: getting us is only half as bad as not getting
King: ha ha-
King:
King: wait what

King: do you have a story for us tonight Oscar?
Wilde: perhaps
Wilde: or perhaps a story has us for you tonight
King: ha ha! Oh man the jokes keep coming!
Barker: what the fuck, I don’t get it
Wilde: hm
Wilde: maybe it’s too droll for you?
Barker: oh yeah sure THAT’s the problem, whatever

Wilde: I am the master of drollery and wit
Wilde: for example
Wilde: [draping self over chaise lounge] a bird in a hand is worth two in the bush but who wants a bunch of birds
King: ah ha ha! Oh man!
King: my sides are aching!!
Barker: christ
Barker: this is gonna get real old real fast

Oscar Wilde: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the annoying americans who buy a haunted castle
Brian Asman: so this haunted castle is for sale?
Asman: where is this again
Asman: I just need to know for
Asman: reasons

Wilde: this is the story of the canterville ghost
Wilde: it will be very droll and witty
Barker: doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be very scary tho
Poe: clive
Poe: clive come on
Poe: it’s got a ghost
Poe: just be happy with that

Wilde: so these americans buy an English castle
Wilde: which has a ghost
Wilde: but they don’t believe it
Wilde: because they’re rational modern people who don’t believe in absurd fantasies
Wilde: I mean
Wilde: they’re americans, after all

Wilde: so the americans are Mr and Mrs. John Wayne B. Cheeseburger
Wilde: with their son Applepie Constitution Cheeseburger
Wilde: and their daughter Abraham Lincoln Cheeseburger
Wilde: and their younger twins Purple Mountains and Spacious Skies Cheeseburger

Barker: borrrring
Barker: talk about how hot butcher boys are again
Wilde: hmm nothing like a strapping butchers apprentice getting beef blood all over his rippling biceps and broad chest as he handles a steer carcass
Barker: YES
Barker: now there’s nothing about that image I don’t like