Midnight Pals: A New Dad (Patreon)

Lucy Clifford: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the new mother
Clifford: if kids are naughty, then your mom will abandon you
Clifford: and a new BAD mom will come for you
Neil Gaiman: zounds!
Gaiman: a lightning bolt of inspiration!

Gaiman: as from the very heavens themselves!
Gaiman: quick! Fetch me my big old-timey quill!
Gaiman: The mind fishes of my fantasmaquarium are leaping!

Clifford: so you better be good or your parents will disappear
Stephen King: don’t you worry about that joe
Joe Hill: I wasn’t worried, dad
King: because I would NEVER abandon you
Hill: I know that, dad
King: but it’s also a moot point
King: because my boy Joe would NEVER be naughty
King: my boy joe is good as gold!

King: I don’t care who knows it
King: my boy Joe is the BEST son
Hill: dad, please
King: I’m so proud of you, Joe
Hill: dad I haven’t done anything
King: I mean in general
King: and you can’t take that away from me!

King: my boy joe is the best!
King: I LOVE MY SON
Joe Hill: mom, make him stop
Tabitha King: your father loves you very much joe
Tabitha King: and so do i!
Tabitha King: I LOVE MY SON JOE
Hill: mommmmm

Stephen King: we just love you so much joe
King: and we’re SO proud of everything you do
King: whatever that might be
Hill: dad, stop
Hill: grady Hendrix is watching
Grady Hendrix: [flipping skateboard] har har lookit daddy’s precious little joey

Joe Hill: shut up grady Hendrix, you’re not so smart
Hendrix: [skeptically pushing down shutter shades] oh no? well if you’re not daddy’s special boy, why don’t you prove it?
Hendrix: talk back to your dad
Hendrix: unless you’re afraid of lucy clifford’s story
Hill: I’m
Hill: I’m not afraid
Hill:
Hill: I just
Hill: I just don’t want to