Midnight Pals: The Great Games (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i'm VERY concerned about the olympicssss
Clive Barker: oh you found a new interest? that's nice
Stephen King: i didn't know you followed the olympics!
Rowling: I do now that TRANSS WOMEN ARE INVOLVED
Barker: so you didn't find a new interest


King: i don't think any trans women are involved in the olympics actually joanne
Rowling: then I'll just have to make sssome up!
Barker: does everything have to be about the trans women
Rowling: YESS
Rowling: YESS IT DOESSS


Rowling: i'm very concerned about thisss boxing match
Rowling: SUPPOSEDLY two women were boxing
Rowling: but the winner? obviously secretly a man
Barker: how do you figure?
Rowling: DUH, cuz she won


Rowling: clearly the winner in thiss boxing match can't be a BIOLOGICAL woman
Rowling: look at the factsss
Rowling: a woman is weak, pathetic, feeble-minded
Rowling: in all waysss, inferior to a man
Rowling: there'sss no way a woman could win


Rowling: sssee, a woman isn't defined by her genitalsss or her chromosssomesss
Rowling: but rather by the inescapable ssstench of failure
Rowling: thiss iss feminissm, by the way


Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Rowling: i was explaining how women are weak and pathetic
Shelley: couldn't be me
Rowling: well you just don't underssstand feminissm
Shelley: yeah i fuckin do


Rowling: wow, mary, you ssay that with ssuch
Rowling: ssusspicioussly unladylike confidence 
Rowling: hand me my sspeculum, i need to check ssomething
Shelley: [flipping switchblade] back the fuck up


Rowling: you all defy me? yet i am the only one who can define what a woman isss
Patricia Highsmith: i can
Highsmith: see, ya take a pinch of wiggles, a smidge of jiggles, and a dusting of giggles
Highsmith: set the oven to HOT
Highsmith: and you got yourself a real hotsy totsy

Highsmith: Out she comes piping hot, a real boom boom McWow Wow!
Highsmith: there ain't nothin' like a dame!
Edward Lee: you said it bro!


Rowling: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Rowling: some of these so-called lady athletes?
Rowling: not very traditionally feminine!
Barker: damn what a shocker
Rowling: i'm not done


Rowling: and ssome of them
Rowling: i know we're all thinking it, i'm just gonna come out and ssay it
Rowling: ssome of them
Rowling: rather sswarthy
King: i was definitely not thinking that
Lovecraft: i was thinking that


Lovecraft: i don't get this whole trans thing
Lovecraft: honestly, i usually think you're talking about transnistrians
Lovecraft: which i believe are a kind of slav
Lovecraft: but this racism thing? i could be on board with that
Rowling: Finally! Ssomeone who talkss ssensse!