Midnight Pals: Long Legs (Patreon)

Oz Perkins: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the longlegs
Perkins: it's about an FBI agent tracking a serial killer
Thomas Harris: nice
Perkins: no no it's totally different than that
Perkins: not like silence of the lambs at all

Perkins: but here's the twist
Perkins: longlegs is played by nicholas cage with a weird puffy face, long hair and acting all high femme
Perkins: so its kinda like silence of the lambs in that way
Perkins: BUT, more importantly, with more plausible deniability

Perkins: but here's the REAL twist
Perkins: his legs?
Perkins: not really all that long
King: what? for real?
Perkins: yeah!
Perkins: they're totally normal length!
Barker: wow that's a let down
Perkins: no no not a let down
Perkins: a TWIST


Barker: so you're telling me this guy calls himself long legs and his legs aren't even long? get outta down!
Perkins: no see he's called long legs because
Perkins:
Barker: because?
Perkins: hold on i'll think of something


Perkins: i got it! see, when he meets one of his victims he's all "and i didn't even wear my long legs today!"
Barker: what the hell does that mean
Perkins: it means
Perkins:
Perkins: it means he didn't wear his long legs
Perkins: today


Barker: no for real what does that mean? does he have multiple pairs of legs or something?
Perkins: no he just has the one pair
Perkins: like a normal person does
Barker: so what exactly is going on here
King: yeah i'm starting to wonder that too actually


Perkins: maybe you guys wouldn't understand because, see, this is atmospheric horror
Perkins: no logic, all vibes
Perkins: slow, methodical vibes
Perkins: slow, methodical, plodding vibes
Perkins: you all probably should have lit up before you came to see it


Perkins: so anyway long legs-
Barker: whose legs are not long
Perkins: right, whose legs are not long
Barker: despite what the title promises
Perkins:
Poe: clive let him tell the story
Barker: oh i'm sorry, am i the only one concerned about truth in advertising?


Perkins: so long legs' scheme involves making creepy life-like dolls
Thomas Ligotti: hm
Barker: oh wow, thomas calm down!
King: looks like thomas really likes this development
Barker: i've never seen him so excited, he almost reacted there!