Midnight Pals: Dad Jokes (Patreon)

Stephen King: so i was down at the bookstore and they were throwing my books around
Dean Koontz: oh no! why were they doing that?
King: well dean
Koontz: they could damage the books!
King: well dean
Koontz: or hurt someone!
King: well dean
Koontz: or
King: let me finish dean

King: i was all 'what's going on?' and then IT hit me
Koontz: why were they doing it?
King: well IT hit me
Koontz:
King: see, IT is the title of one of my
King: oh for pete's sake
King: the rest of you got it didn't you?

King: the rest of you got it, right?
Barker: yeah we got it
Barker: it just wasn't funny
King:
King: oh come on clive i mean i thought it was a little funny
Poe: it was very amusing steve
Barker: don't encourage him edgar
Barker: he's only going to get worse

Stephen King: well, don't worry, i got plenty more!
Joe Hill: dad, please, i'm tired
King: hi tired, i'm dad
Barker: hahaha
Barker: ok now THAT ONE was funny
Poe: really? "hi tired i'm dad?" that's the one that does it for you?
Barker: it was all in the delivery haha

King: IT hit me? get it? IT?
King: oh never mind, please yourself then
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyy stephano king
King: oh no
Musk: itsa funny joke no?
Musk: i lika da jokes eyyy!

King: well, elon, i guess we finally have something in common
King: no one likes either of our jokes
Musk: eyyyy whatsamatta for you, stephano king? everybody lovesa my jokes!
Musk: i maka da joka, alla my fans applaud, they clappa da hands!
Musk: they say "masterful gambit sir"

Musk: i ama very funny! mama mia, alla my jokes, they very good!
Musk: let datta sink in!
King:
Koontz:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Poe:
Musk's Toddler RP sockpuppet account: HAHA MASTERFUL GAMBIT SIR!!!

Musk: eyyy CHRISTINE say iffa da book falla offa THE STAND, you can CARRIE it to da REVIVAL in your CELL as THE SHINING example for THE DARK TOWER CUJO SKELETON CREW CYCLE OF THE WEREWOLF FOUR PAST MIDNIGHT PET SEMETARY RITA HAYWORTH AND THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

King: sigh, i guess i'm just not cut out for comedy
Poe: don't feel bad, steve, we can't all be kim newman
Kim Newman: [bowtie spinning] good evening ladies and germs, i was on my way to this campfire when this guy told me he hadn't had a bite all week