Midnight Pals: Election (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: how goesss the election?
Rowling: did we win?
Posie Parker: good news!
Parker: if words meant the opposite of what they do, then yes we won!
Rowling: excellent, excellent, that'ss great
Rowling: wait a ssec

Rowling: confound you, you ssilver tongued devil!!
Rowling: how iss thisss possssible? are you ssaying the people of britain aren't excited for exterminating the transs?
Rowling: i jusst don't know what to believe anymore

Rowling: ugh! i can't believe we lossst! thisss wasss ssssuppossed to be a sssure thing!
Rowling: i had big plansss! sssuch big plansss!
Rowling: now how am i gonna get funding for a big ssorting hat to put on school kidsss junk

Rowling: you losst to Darth Farter & Grand Admiral Toilet Sseat! you lost to the joke candidatess!
Rowling: at least i think those are the joke candidatess
Rowling: this is britain so itss kind of hard to tell
Rowling: wormtail look into that for me
Jesse Singal: right away mommy

Parker: but dark lord Rowling: you've failed me for the lassst time, wormtail!
Parker: nooo dark lord one more chance, please, just one more chance
Parker: just one more hate campaign dark lord just one more please i swear dark lord this time it'll work

Rowling: my Totally Normal Party of Bevaginaed Women may have losst Rowling: but at least the toriess maintained power to continue our work toward a final ssolution
Rowling: the toriess did win, right?
Parker:
Parker: uhhhh
Rowling: oh goddamnit

Parker: it's ok, labor won! they're just as transphobic as the tories
Rowling: BUT THEY'RE NOT GONNA SSAY THE SSLURSS!
Rowling: it'ss not the sssame without the sslurss!
Rowling: i really wanted the sslurss :(