Midnight Pals: The TV That Glowed (Patreon)

Jane Schoenbrun: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the glowing tv
Schoenbrun: it's about this kid who's obsessed with a 90s TV series called the pink opaque
Schoenbrun: and how estrogen would have saved her

King: Oh, like Pete and Pete!
Schoenbrun: what
King: the show! it's like pete and pete, right?
Schoenbrun:
Schoenbrun: no

Poe: steve, it's clearly based on Are You Afraid of the Dark
King: you think? it really seems like more of a Pete and Pete thing
Poe: trust me
King: remember arnie? strongest man in the world
Poe: sure steve
King: man! what a great show!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Poe: jane was telling a story about this 90s show
King: Pete and Pete
Poe: it's not Pete and Pete
Poe: it's clearly got an Are You Afraid of the Dark vibe
Barker: really it's more of a Clarissa Explains it All
Shelley: now THAT was a show

Barker: na na na na na na na
Shelley: alright alright!
Barker: na na na na
Shelley: hey cool!
King: wow, mary, i didn't know you were into clarissa explains it all
Shelley: there's lots you don't know steve
Shelley: i'm a real fuckin enigma, steve

Schoenbrun: well, you're all wrong!!
Schoenbrun: it's based on the secret world of alex mack
King:
King: oh yeah i can kinda see that now
Poe: yeah that makes sense
Barker: i feel dumb we didn't pick up on that
Lovecraft: yeah its obvious when you say it

Schoenbrun: well here's something else that's obvious
Schoenbrun: this story's about being trans
King: what, really? i didn't pick up on that
Barker: oh damn steve was the omnipresent white, blue and pink color scheme too subtle for you?
King: the omnipresent what color scheme?

Schoenbrun: the 90s TV show is about these two girls who fight against the evil Dr. Dysphoria
Schoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtle
King: [looks at kafka]
Poe: [looks at kafka]
Lovecraft: [looks at kafka]
Koontz: [looks at kafka]
Barker: [looks at kafka]
Franz Kafka: what

Schoenbrun: so in this next scene, they're in this bar where this cool badass girl punk is singing
Schoenbrun: the subtext is wouldn't it be cool to be this cool badass girl punk?
Kafka: well yeah but everyone thinks that
Kafka: i mean, right?
Kafka: that's just a normal thing

Schoenbrun: next the character turns to the screen and says "do you, the viewer, suffer from gender dysphoria? check all the following symptoms which apply to you"
Schoenbrun: again
Schoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtle
Franz Kafka: why are you looking at me

Schoenbrun: what i am saying is
Schoenbrun: there is still time to be your own true authentic self
Kafka:

Schoenbrun: think about what i'm saying here
Kafka: haha i
Kafka:
Kafka: [stands up, quietly leaves]
Barker: oh i didn't expect that
Barker: shit
Barker: we'd better go after her
Poe: no no give her some space
Poe: this has been a long time coming
Poe: seven years, statistically