Midnight Pals: Invaginies (Patreon)

Joe Koch: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the invaginies
Stephen King: whoa joe that sounds kind of adult, is this appropriate for dean?
Koch: oh it's fine, it's not like it's super adult
Koch: or rather anything dean could parse as adult

King: this one might be a little rough dean, maybe you should sit this one out
King: here, you can take these crayons and sit over there
King: maybe draw us a nice picture of that spooky pumpkin you were talking about
Koontz: i'm not a baby, steve!
King: or maybe a friendly dog
Koontz: oh yeah i could draw a dog

Dean Koontz: stop treating me like a child!
Koontz: i'm just as grown up as the rest of you!
Koontz: i'm an adult, goshdarnit!!
King: dean!! indoor voice
King: sorry joe i really don't know where he gets it
Koch: it's fine
King: he's been hanging out with that grady Hendrix again, he's a bad influence

Koontz: stop treating me like a baby!
King: do you want your juice box, dean? would that make you feel better?
Koontz: yes please

Joe Koch: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the invaginies
Koch: open the nipple portal into the realm of the senses
Koch: we are two caged animals, shitting in unison, our colons beacons of pain
Koch: now we're polygons of marbled ham
Koch: now you're a gestalt of bees nesting inside a dick
Koch: tickling the inside of the dick with all your little bee feet

Koch: now imagine that you're a motorcycle
Koontz: i can imagine that!
Koontz: see? I can understand grown-up stories!
Koch: now a gleaming black cube, compressed from the glittering bone dust of late capitalism
Koontz:
Koontz: oh i'm having more trouble imagining that

Koch: doctor, doctor! mister em dee
Koch: can you tell me what's ailing me
Koch: the varigated spines of pure pleasure
Koch: the disease of the self is the topography of the other
Koch: the anus is the door to entropy
Koch: shoes for industry! shoes for the dead!
Koontz: i
Koontz:
King: it's okay dean just take a deep breath

Koontz: i did it! i did it!
Koontz: i listened to the whole story and i understood it all! just like a grown up!
King: good job dean we're all very proud of you
Barker: oh yeah? how about you explain it then
Koontz:
Koontz: uhhhh
King: you don't have to explain anything dean, we believe you
King: clive leave him alone

Koch: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the bride of the rat bride
Koch: this guy makes his girlfriend wear the rat mask from 1984
Koch: but the twist is
Koch: there's rats in it
Barker: is it like a sex thing?
Koch: no it's bad

Koch: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call is the tale of the convulsive
Koch: what if a caveman killed a woolly mammoth
Koch: but turned out it was actually an eldritch monster baby fetus god sewn up inside a shambling mammoth carcass
Lovecraft: oh i hate when that happens