Midnight Pals: Cats (Patreon)

Lilian Jackson Braun: ok so hear me out on this one
Braun: what if there was a cat that solved mysteries?
Rita Mae Brown: a cat that solved mysteries?!?!?
Carole Nelson Douglas: a cat that solved mysteries?!?!
Cate Conte: a cat that solved mysteries!!??

Brown: this is the greatest thing i've ever heard
Braun: you think?
Brown: listen i have 2 interests in life
Brown: radical lesbian liberation
Brown: and cats that solve mysteries
Brown: and this idea definitely fits into one of those categories

Lilian Jackson Braun: anyway
Braun: here's a picture of my cat
Rita Mae Brown: oooh she's precious!! and here's a picture of MY cat
Braun: she's adorable!
Carole Nelson Douglas: and here's a picture of MY cat
Braun: she's so adorable!
Brown: precious!

Dean Koontz: hey what if it was a dog that solved mysteries?
Lilian Jackson Braun:
Rita Mae Brown:
Carole Nelson Douglas:
Cate Conte:
Darlene Ryan:
Sofie Kelly:

Koontz: i was just thinking, what if it was a dog-
Braun: i'm not even going to dignify that with a response
Brown: a dog! really!
Braun: how would a dog solve mysteries anyway? by barking at them?
Brown: ha ha good one lilian
Koontz: but
Braun: the very idea is absurd

Braun: a dog lacks a cat's observational skills and deductive reasoning
Brown: yes exactly
Brown: ridiculous
Brown: the very idea
Brown: what are you even doing here
Brown: at the st. westminster ladies cat fancy society tea and crumpet social on the green?

Braun: ugh! dogs! DIS-gusting! we won't have any smelly mutts here! Away with you! [sweeping Koontz out the door with a broom]
Diane Duane: you know cats can be wizards too
Tanya Huff: oh yes yes definitely

[at midnight society]
Dean Koontz: and they said that cats were better at solving mysteries than dogs!
Poe: i really fucked up by not making auguste dupin a cat
Poe: i didn't realize how much money i was leaving on the table

Koontz: but they're wrong! dogs solve mysteries! all the time! in real life!
George Romero: ACAB includes cop dogs
Poe: not now george
Poe: dean's in a fragile state