Midnight Pals: New Book (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i'd like you all to know about my new book
King: you wrote another harry potter book? awesome!
Rowling: no itsss not a harry potter book
Barker: oh jesus not another cormorant shrike
Rowling: ITS CORMORAN SSTRIKE
Rowling: AND NO

Rowling: this book is called 'the women who won't wheeshhht'
Barker: women who won't wee or shit?
Rowling: no that'sss not what i sssaid
Rowling: that'sss not what i sssaid and you know it!!

Rowling: [muttering] think you're ssso sssmart well you won't be laughing when you hear from my barrissster
Barker: what was that?
Rowling: nothing

Barker: so the women who won't wee or shit
Barker: is that why there's no toilets in hogwarts?
Rowling: no!!
Rowling: that's unrelated!!!
Rowling: i've come up with a new retcon for that
Barker: oh boy i bet its a doozy
Poe: clive

Rowling: they removed all the hogwartss toiletss because the PC police were going to force them to let transs women ussse the ladiesss room
Rowling: so instead dumbledore bravely removed all toiletsss
Rowling: a great man, dumbledore
Barker: and that's when wizards started just shitting themselves?
Rowling: yesss

Barker: anyway
Barker: the women who won't wee or shit
King: are you
King: are you committed to that title, joanne?
King: cuz now that clive's said it
King: i really can't not hear it

Rowling: i've got 10 thousand copiesss already printed!
Rowling: i can't make changess now
Rowling: look itss just gonna be cheaper to ssue anyone who makess fun of it
Barker: who makes fun of the women who won't wee or shit
Rowling: that'sss it!!!
Rowling: you're on my lissst!!!

Rowling: everyone loves the women who wheeessst!!
Rowling: it's full of manifestosss about the transss quessstion
Rowling: and the final sssolution
King:
Koontz:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Poe:

Rowling: my friendss and relativesss begged me not to do thisss
Rowling: BEGGED ME!
Rowling: with tears in their eyess
Rowling: but i could not be dissuaded!
King: what did your friends say about it then?
Rowling: i don't really know, we don't really talk much anymore