Midnight Pals: Full of Green Teaness (Patreon)

Sheridan Le Fanu: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the new drug scourge that's sweeping the nation, seducing our youth
Le Fanu: you know what i'm talking about
King:
Poe:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Le Fanu: i'm talking about green tea

Barker: wait wait wait
Barker: green tea?
Le Fanu: yes
Barker: and that's the street name for.... what now?
Le Fanu: green tea
Barker: hahahaha
Le Fanu: THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, CLIVE

Barker: ooo yeah i'm real scared of green tea
Le Fanu: THIS IS SERIOUS, CLIVE
Barker: hahaha
Le Fanu: if you drink too much green tea, you could manifest an evil monkey!
Barker: AHAHAHA!!!!
Le Fanu: STOP LAUGHING!!

Le Fanu: STOP LAUGHING!
Poe: clive
Barker: oh come on edgar i know you're scared of monkeys but this is ridiculous
Poe: i'm not scared of monkeys
Barker: [whispering to King] he's scared of monkeys
Poe: I am NOT scared of monkeys

Poe: i am not scared of monkeys, clive stop spreading rumors
King: actually clive's right, you did write that story about the scary monkey
Poe: that was an ape
Barker: [whispering to King] he's scared of apes
Poe: I AM NOT SCARED OF APES EITHER

Le Fanu: look, the simple truth with green tea you don't know if you're getting a pure product
Le Fanu: they cut it with baking soda, borax, rat poison
Le Fanu: here, look at this video of what happens to a cop when he gets green tea on his skin

Le Fanu: you drink green tea and an evil demonic monkey will attack you!
Lovecraft:
Le Fanu: and drive you to suicide!
Lovecraft:
Le Fanu: also, it's sold by the chinese
Lovecraft: [sweats] THE CH-CH-CHINESE?!?!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Barker: sheridan was just telling us about the dangers of green tea
Le Fanu: [playing piano] Le Fanu here
Le Fanu: i want you to learn a song that'll teach you to say no to green tea

Le Fanu: [playing piano] users are losers and losers are users
Le Fanu: SO DON'T DRINK GREEN TEA! DON'T DRINK GREEN TEA!
Shelley:
Shelley: hey how bout you tell that story about the lesbian vampire?

Le Fanu: Don't let green tea make a monkey out of you!™ (paid for by the partnership for a green tea free america)
Barker:
King:
Lovecraft:
Poe:
Koontz:

Shelley: ffft i'll drink green tea if i fuckin want to
Shelley: i'll drink it right now
Shelley: who's got green tea?
Fitz James O'Brien: i got some right here
Shelley: hand it over [drinks green tea without breaking eye contact with Le Fanu]

Le Fanu: noooo! nooo! the monkey!! think of the monkey!
Shelley: i ain't scare of no monkey
Shelley: i'm not edgar
Poe: I'M NOT SCARED OF MONKEYS
Barker: [whispering to Shelley] he's scared of monkeys