A Simple Life: Chapter 62 (Patreon)

Her slender fingers fidgeting with a triangular iron token Althea the elven wizard sits at the big central table of Rudolf’s Rest, an all services inn and general store that sat at an important crossroads near the edge of civilized lands.  On the back of the chair beside her is perched a glossy black raven.  It tilts its head and lets out a low croak.

“They’ll be here Touka.”  Althea whispers.  “Mistress Ara said they would be here and they will.”

And so Althea waits for the four strangers whose fates were about to bound to her own.

With the legendary Mayhems fading into retirement the realm had need for a new group of heroes.  While nature abhors a vacuum the blight of evil thrives in it.  And as the Mayhem’s great deeds pass into the tomes of history all of their good works had already begun to unravel.  Monsters stirred once more in the dark corners of the map and corruption stamped out now smoldered again.  The world needed a new band of heroes that could be turned to when times were dire.  And where there was a need there was profit to be had.

Though each member of that celebrated group were already wealthy beyond the dreams of most mortals they were still shrewd enough to see a financial opportunity where there was one.  While they had each moved on to another phase of their lives the Mayhem name could still fill a purpose and so the original trio had chosen their successors to carry on their important work under the same famous banner, with a mere twenty percent cut off the top for brand usage.

“Still waiting?”  Asks the barmaid as she passes by.  “Who ya waitin for darlin?”

“Heroes!”  Althea smiles.

The wench chuckles.  “I’ll let ya know if I see one.”

Just then the main door swings open and a soft breeze scented of sun warmed forest flowers freshens the room.  Framed in the open space by is the hour glass figure of an extremely voluptuous woman.  Her curvaceous hips were nearly as wide as the opening and her massive tits seemed to sway under a gravity of their own.  She had fawn colored skin, glimmering green eyes, and a curly length of red hair.  Sprouting up from that hair stretched two long rabbit’s ears.  Her strange outfit wasn’t just skimpy, it was barely there!  It consisted of a single length of pink cloth leading up from her white belt over one breast, around the back of her neck, down the other breast, and ending back on the belt again and then two more pink scraps barely a foot across to hang down from the belt to cover her crotch in the front and the crack of her big round bottom with its little puffball tail at the back.  She carried with her precisely three objects.  Around her neck she wore the symbol of her healing god, the Great Lepus.  In her right hand she held a wooden club carved in the shape of a huge carrot.  And in her left she clutched a triangular bit of iron.

Her nose twitches and she hops into the tavern, every inch of her soft body rippling as she lands.  As every eye in the place turns to look at her she announces loudly.  “My name is Hoppy Bunbun!”

“Hero?”  The barmaid calls.

“That’s meeee!”

“Right here.”  She points at the table with Althea.

“EEEE!”  Hoppy Bunbun hops her way over to the table, her scant outfit utterly defeated in its task of covering her bouncing private bits.  “Hi Avery!  Did you see my tail?”

“Ahem.”  Althea squirms.  “I’m Althea.  We don’t know each other yet.”

“Oh yeah!  Ha ha ha!  Hi Althea.  I like your bird.”

From the top of the stairs leading to the rooms for rent comes a deep and luscious voice as smooth as silk.  “Wellll, what have we here?”

Turning to look the two women see the lithe figure of a red-skinned demon looking back down at them.  His eyes were gold, his long braided hair silver.  From his back sprouted two bat like wings.  Swaying snakelike behind him was a long sinuous tail.  And crowning his forehead were a pair of small onyx horns.  Outside his hellish features he otherwise appeared to be a dashing man in his late twenties.  He wore a ruffled purple shirt of silk, tight black breeches that seemed designed to draw attention to the prodigious bulge at his groin, and a pair of black books made from the supplest of leather.  At his hip he carried a dagger and on the other jingled a coin purse.  Staggering down the stairs in front of the demon are two women and a man with tousled hair and disheveled clothes, all of them with the silly smiles of drunkards on their flushed faces though not one of them had had a drop to drink.

With the grace of a cat he slinks down the stairs and approaches the table.  “I see you two have one of those trinkets as well.”  Appearing in his hand from nowhere appears another of the iron tokens.  He grins a devilish grin as he looks over the the two beautiful adventurers.  “Lucky me.  Horny Fucker at your service fair ladies.  Truly, at your service.”

“Pfft!  Horny Fucker?”  Althea giggles.

“I am and I do.”  He bows deeply then glides into the open chair between the two women.

“Stay the hand demon.”  Comes a whispered voice from above.  “Or I shall stay it for you.”

All three look up to see the graceful form of an elf materialize out of the shadows and pad silently across the beams of the rafters toward them.  His dark skin was mottled with lighter patches that brought to mind the dappled light cast on a forest floor.  His short trimmed black and brown hair had a similar natural camouflage.  The man had on well worn leather armor.  On each hip he wore a short sword and across his back is a bow.  His intense chestnut brown eyes were currently focused from above on Althea’s waist.

Looking down Althea finds Horny’s fingers resting upon her component pouch.  “Oh!”

Horny pulls his hand away and gives Althea the guiltless grin of a fox spotted running from the henhouse.  “I just wanted a peek.”

“Hmmf!”  Althea skitters her chair away from the light fingered Incubus.

“Get down from there!”  Calls the bouncer.  “Where’d you even come from?”

Without a sound the elf drops from the rafter to land as light as a falling leaf beside the table.  He stands to his full height, tall for an elf, the lean muscles of his arms looking as firm as oak.  Both Hoppy and Horny gaze at him admiringly.

“Let me guess.”  Horny deftly flips the token through his fingers.  “You’ve got one of these?”

“I do not.”  The elf says curtly.  Turning to the other elf he bows his head.  “Miss Althea.  I am Hunter Raevis O'Regal and I’ve been sent by Archmage Shaeladrine to join you on this endeavor.”

“My grandma?”  Althea says.  “But I was sent here by my new Mistress, Lady Ara.”

“But you are still the fey speaker of our clan and the archmage’s favorite apprentice.”  He says.  “And I am here to ensure that you return to us unharmed.”

“Gay what?”  Mutters Horny.  “Do you have any idea what they’re talking about?”

“Nope!”  Smiles Hoppy.  “He’s hot though.”

“Indeed.”  The demon grins.  “You can tag along if you wish, elf, but…no token, no cut.”  He slaps the iron token onto the table.  “A fifth portion was not a part of the deal.”

“Ooo!  You’re good at this.”  Whispers the werebunny healer.

“Thanks.”  Horny winks at her.  “I’m also a greedy fucker.”

“He he he!”

Raevis' jaw clenches.  “Very well.  I am not here for a reward.”

Before the Incubus could come back with another droll quip the front door bursts open.  The sky is split with a flash of blinding lightning and a roaring clap of thunder shakes the inn to its foundation as the largest humanoid creature to ever step foot into Rudolf’s Rest squeezes its way inside.

“Wasn’t it sunny when I showed up a second ago?”  Wonders Hoppy.

“Shhh!”

Filling the entry space with its bulk, its black mohawk brushing the rafters, is a creature of nightmares.  It had the gray skin, heavy jaw and thick limbs of an ogre but the orange eyes, pointed ears, and long arms of a troll.  It was clearly some sort of crossbreed between the two races.  It seemed to have breasts which indicated that it was a female but the long nose hairs twisted and bent to form a mustache confused the issue.  Wrapped around its shoulders, torso, and arms was a long, heavy chain the ends of which were spooled at each forearm.  On left end was a bulbous round mass of metal and on the right a wicked looking hooked blade.  The chain looked to act as both armor and weapons for the beast.  The only thing keeping the inn from descending into chaos was the glowing holy symbol of the spirit of justice it wore proudly around its tree trunk neck, a symbol recognized by all as a beacon of goodness and safety.

“BEHOLD…SCOURGE!”  The thing's rumbling voice rattles the cutlery.  “Rager of the Far Mountain.  Paladin of right.  Master of chains.  Sworn destroyer of the unjust.”

“Broken as fuck.”  Quips the bar wench under her breath.

“Excuse me?”  Asks Althea.

“Nothin.”

Holding forth a triangular token between its massive thumb and index finger.  “I seek the bearers of these.  Show yourselves to Scourge, NOW!”

The bar maid glances at Althea.  “Friend of yours?”

“Uhhhhh…yes?”  Althea gulps.  “I hope!”

As the rest of the tavern sits in shock Hoppy Bunbun is merrily waving the behemoth over.  “Here we are!  Yoo hoo!  Right here!  Hi Scourge!”

Chapter 63