Claire Francois Birthday Event(complete version) 01/04 (Pixiv Fanbox)

※Endless thanks to Jingle and Angela.

(Rei)

Eh, ahem. To everybody gathered here tonight, good evening.

I’d like to get started with Claire François’ birthday party now.

I, Rei Taylor, will be acting as the MC for tonight’s event. Thank you for having me today.

(Rei)

Today’s event contains about 25,000 Japanese characters, with the file size sitting at 50 KB of text.

Since we still haven’t decided when the event will end yet, please don’t force yourself to read through everything in real-time. Feel free to look over the logs at a later date.

(Rei)

Without further ado, let’s begin by introducing our guest of honor.

Although this is happening in a different time and space than the story, today is Claire François’ 18th birthday.

Please welcome her with a round of applause!! (←The one who’s applauding the loudest)

(Claire)

Good day, everybody. Thank you very much for gathering here today for me.

Rei and Alea have prepared a lot of delicious dishes for tonight, so please help yourselves to them.

Thank you all for having me tonight.

(Rei)

Thank you very much, Claire-sama.

It’s just as Claire-sama said. We’ve prepared buffet-style food catering in tonight’s venue.

It is something that Alea and I worked hard for.

Please help yourselves to your hearts’ content.

(Rei)

Without further ado, let us kick off Claire François’ birthday Twitter event!!!

(Rei)

Now then, let’s jump right into it. We’ve received a lot of presents from everybody.

Thank you very much for all of the gifts.

Let us introduce them one by one.

We’ll start with this one.

< Whooooooooooooaーーー! Ororororo!!

twitter post: 1242839852216758274

쑸@clay_dduk

@inori_narou #ClaireBD

Happy birthday in advance, Claire-sama!

I’ve prepared a cute doll for you. Please use it whenever you are embarrassed about the noises when you are on the toilet! If you use this, it will surely cover up the embarrassment you might feel when using the toilet! Nobody will know what sort of business you’re up to while you’re in the situation like in the warehouse!

(Claire)

Eeeeek!?

(Rei)

Claire-sama, you have to thank them first.

(Claire)

Y-Yes, alright.

Y-You’re right……

쑸-san (@clay_dduk), t-thank you very much.

Yes, truly, I’m really happy about this.

Oho, ohohohoh……

(Rei)

The toilet…… Speaking of which, there was something like that, huh.

< Abuuurrururuu! Uーーwhoaaaaaa!!

(Claire)

Will you please stop remembering such embarrassing things!?

Moreover, why does 쑸-san know of something like that!?

Rei! You blabbed, didn’t you!?

(Rei)

No way, these people are the readers of our story, so it’s natural for them to be aware of things like this, isn’t it?

< Abibowehhhhhhhhh!!

(Claire)

There are a lot of things I want to say about that, but Rei! All of these “ababa” and “wheee” noises you’ve been making are getting annoying!!

(Rei)

No, it’s not me. It’s this doll.

< Ibibibibi!!

(Claire)

Haah, haah…

What the heck is this? You…… called it a doll, but…..

And 쑸-san called it cute, but just what kind of doll is this? Some kind of hellspawn?

(Rei)

This is my first time seeing something like this as well, but I might have an idea?

It’s like one of those bird-shaped toys intended for children to play with, right?

But you can certainly use something like this to hide the noises of doing your business as well.

Alright, now try giving this a squeeze.

< AWOHHHHHHHHH!!

(Claire)

Ehh……

Umm.

T-This thing somehow feels kind of slick to the touch, doesn’t it?

I wonder what this was made of……

(Rei)

Probably petroleum?

(Claire)

P-Petroleum?

< Bliblibliblibli!!

(Rei)

Bauer has some too, doesn’t it?

Let’s go and look for it sometime.

But in the meantime, be sure to take good care of Alec-kun.

(Claire)

Is “Alec” supposed to be the name of this doll!?

Could you not give it a name that sounds so similar to mine?!

< Pliplipluuuuh!!

(Rei)

Now now, in any case, 쑸-san prepared something else for you as well.

twitter post: 1242849035179806720

쑸@clay_dduk

@inori_narou #ClaireBD

Ah, Claire-sama! I forgot something! I heard that you used to like Sein-sama! We have similar tastes! Let me give you a book that’s been gaining popularity recently! I really like seeing Rod-sama on the bottom!

“You are my older brother, and I’m the king.”

Let’s get married!

(Claire)

……

…………..

(Rei)

Why are you so on your guard? That’s impolite.

It’ll be fine this time. There won’t be any strange squealing.

(Claire)

Really?

…….

You’re being serious, right?

(Rei)

Just how much did Alec-kun shock you?

In any case, let’s take a look. This is it!

Something popular within the industry!

It’s a book about Rod-sama and Sein-sama.

(Claire)

Ara, don’t worry. I won’t yell.

This is just a cute illustration made in good taste, right?

It’s only natural that those two are extremely popular. However, I may be lacking education in this area, but I’m not sure what ‘industry’ you are referring to.

(Rei)

Don’t worry about it, Claire-sama. It’s the kind of industry for people that know no bounds.

Once you stick one foot in it, you’re basically trapped in it forever.

(Claire)

What a terrifying industry……

But what do these words say?

“You are my older brother, and I’m the king.”

“Let’s get married”?

Why is the king and his older brother trying to get married?

(Rei)

Hmm. Since I only have an inclination towards Claire-sama, I’m not really into (B)acon and (L)ettuce*, but I also think that Rod-sama should be on the bottom.

(* = BL = Boys’ Love)

(Claire)

Rod-sama on the bottom!?

Rei!? That’s disrespectful!?

(Rei)

In the industry, both the tops and bottoms are treated equally!!!

< BLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

(Claire)

I-I apologize…….

(Rei)

It’s like that, you know.

A person that is usually incredibly self-confident and full of themselves, but then they behave like an embarrassed baby rabbit in the arms of somebody else is precious - that was something Claire-sama made me very aware of.

I think it’s a sort of aesthetic that fits Rod-sama very well too.

(Claire)

I still don’t really understand it, but I’m happy to receive this book as a gift.

쑸-san, thank you very much.

(Rei)

Thank you very much.

쑸-san, you’ve been awarded with 30 Relaire points.

(Claire)

What do you mean by “points”......

(Rei)

Well, don’t worry about it.

Let’s move onto the next gift. Dun-dun.

twitter post: 1242855829964853248

終止符@Period_21n

#ClaireBD

These are dolls of Claire-sama and Rei (you can also take off their clothes)

Happy birthday 🎉

(Claire)

!!

Ha……!

Haaaaaaaaah!!

(Rei)

Ah, Claire-sama sounds so moved, but depending on how you choose to listen to it, she could also just be letting out naughty noises.

(Claire)

Could you not throw a wet blanket over my excitement!?

終止符-san (@Period_21n), thank you very much.

They’re cute! They’re so adorable!

These dolls are really lovely!

(Rei)

They really are well made, aren’t they? (rustle)

(Claire)

The expression on this doll of Rei looks just as warm and fuzzy as when she eats something that she finds delicious.

(Rei)

Yes, seems like they were able to reproduce that quite in detail. (stare)

(Claire)

The reproduction of the school uniform is wonderful as well. The frills must have been really tough to sew, though. As somebody who enjoys sewing as well, I can understand how that feels.

(Rei)

That’s right.

Hmm, the skirts are made out of good fabric as well.

Now then, onto the main attraction.

(Claire)

I won’t let you do that. (grabs)

(Rei)

Ahh, Claire-sama, how unreasonable.

What exactly do you take issue with? All I wanted to do was get a glimpse at the Shangri-La that lies beneath Claire-sama’s skirt.

(Claire)

You are aware of what I take issue with, aren’t you!?

Besides, anyone could tell that if given the chance, you would try to take a peek up the skirt of the doll version of me……

Rei, please show a bit of remorse. Or are you just messing around?

(Rei)

I’m not messing around.

I mean, you know, they purposely included the fact that you could take off the dolls’ clothes.

So…… you know?

Am I right?

Don’t you guys think so as well?

(Claire)

Who exactly are you saying that to? Tell me who.

(Rei)

Of course, I’m addressing all of the members of the “We love Claire-sama and enjoy teasing her” committee.

(Claire)

Please dissolve that strange committee.

(Rei)

Ehhー.

(Claire)

Don’t “ehhー” me.

(Rei)

But, but…

(Rei)

“There will be no “buts”.”

“T-To begin with, are you really satisfied with just the doll?”

(Rei)

“Eh?”

(Rei)

“Rather than trying to sneak a peek up of the doll’s skirt…”

“You know… don’t you have any interest in the actual model it was based on?”

(Rei)

Claire-sama ///

(Rei)

Ah, if it’s you, then I’ll be glad to show it to you anytime!!!

(Rei)

Claire-sama!! I love you!!

(Claire)

Rei, what have you been going on about to yourself?

(Rei)

Let’s return to the topic. Take a look at this. It’s amazing, isn’t it?

That these dolls were reproduced with such detail.

(Claire)

Could you not speak as if nothing had happened and like you hadn’t just gone off on some strange tangent!?

(Rei)

Now, now. Please take a look here. This is Colaire-chan*.

Even this part of her was reproduced with such fine attention to detail.

Although Colaire-chan is a smaller version of Claire-sama, this part of her appears to be quite mature.

(* = In Japanese, “小”, which can be read as “ko”, means small. The gag here is that Rei named the Claire-doll as “little Claire” by calling her “Colaire”)

(Claire)

What kind of a totally unnecessary comment is that!?

I’m going to beat you up on 終止符-san’s behalf!?

(Rei)

終止符-san, thank you for your very cute gifts!

I’ll be sure to leave these at our bedside and use them as “Yes/No” pillows* in the future!!

(* = In Japan, there are pillows that have “Yes” and “No” written on each side of a pillow. If somebody shows you the “Yes” side of the pillow, it means they are open to doing naughty things.)

(Claire)

Yes? No?

There you go, saying things I can’t understand again.

Anyway, these dolls really are quite lovely.

I’m very thankful for them!

(Rei)

Now then, let’s move on. Ta-dah~

twitter post: 1242921454951251968

雪野ユメ❄️ 키노@snowwhite7946

@inori_narou #ClaireBD

Happy birthday.

Claire-sama, here is an obedient Rei as a gift.

🐶

(Claire)

!!!!!????? Yukino Yume-san (@snowwhite7946), t-t-this…….!? C-c-c-cu……. (thud)

(Rei)

Ah, Claire-sama fainted.

(Claire)

Rei as a squirrel with dog ears……. (delirious)

(Rei)

Ahh, so this is what it looks like to die from cuteness. Well, she’s not dead, but… Come on, Claire-sama, please wake up.

(Claire)

Mmm……. Hah!? Where did that angel go!?

(Rei)

She didn’t run away or anything. Look, she’s right here.

(Obedient Rei)

……. (Wearing an expression that makes you want to protect her, but also bully her)

(Claire)

Such loveliness…… It’s almost as if she is solely composed of Rei’s good parts….... May I pet you?

(Obedient Rei)

……. (nods)

(Claire)

Haah, haah…… (petting and stroking)

(Obedient Rei)

……. (eyes that look like they’re asking: “Is she going to bully me?”)

(Claire)

…….. I want to bully her.

(Obedient Rei)

!? (gulp)

(Not-so-obedient Rei)

Okay, stop. Claire-sama, stay. Let’s stop here. Anything more, and this will end up turning into something rated 18+.

(Claire)

……. Huh!? What was I…… She’s just so cute, I lost track of what I was doing.

(Somewhat frustrated Rei)

I wish you’d regularly look with such sparkling eyes at me as well.

(Claire)

I-I mean! The real Rei would never be this obedient!

(Rei, who’d rather bully)

Right, since I’m the one who does the eating instead of letting myself be eaten.

(Claire)

R-Rei……? Are you, by any chance, angry?

(Rei, who has now decided that she’ll have her way tonight)

No, not really.

(Somewhat submissive Claire)

I just found Yume-san’s rendition of Rei too cute, so please cheer up, okay?

(Rei, who is starting to have a bit of fun with this)

Hmm…

(Misha)

Hey, Rei, what do you think you’re doing to the guest of honor on her birthday?

(Claire)

Ara, Misha. How are you?

(Misha)

Good day, Claire-sama. I thought Rei would start running amok any minute now, so I came here to stop her.

(Claire)

Thank you very much. After all, Misha is Rei’s owner, isn’t she? .

(Rei)

My owner is Claire-sama, though?

(Misha)

Okay, okay, I know you two get along well. However, if you tease Claire-sama too much――

(Rei)

What will happen?

(Misha)

I’ll steal her?

(Claire)

M-Misha!?

(Misha)

Fufu, I’m just kidding. Yume-san, as always, thank you for your lovely illustrations. I’m looking forward to what you have in store for the future.

(Rei)

Did you just make a super blatant appeal?

(Misha)

This much is fine, isn’t it? If you don’t want to see something like Misha x Claire become a reality, you should give it your all as well.

(Rei)

Yes, yes.

Yukino Yume-san, thank you very much.

(Claire)

Thank you so much!

(Rei)

Ah, Misha, one sec.

(Misha)

What is it?

(Rei)

Head to the waiting room, I’ll be with you in a bit.

(Misha)

Sure, but…… what’s up?

(Rei)

Just do it.

(Misha)

I understand.

(Rei)

Let’s move on. Dun-dun-dun.

twitter post: 1242995734351241216

ほむ@Black Eagles

@Homu_FMN_b

@inori_narou #ClaireBD

Happy birthday!!

I know nothing But food so i want to give my favorite homelands food “Phat kaphrao” for you, Claire-sama.

It's Spicy but really delicious.😊😊😊

(Claire)

My, that looks delicious!

(Rei)

This is the gift we received from ほむ@Black Eagles-san (@Homu_FMN_b).

Mmm! This flavor!

Made by a true food connoisseur!

(Claire)

You haven’t even eaten it yet, so what’s with those impressions?

(Rei)

It’s the signature phrase of a famous gourmet reporter back in my country.

(Claire)

There you are again, saying things that I don’t understand.

Thank you very much. This is a sort of rice dish, isn’t it?

(Rei)

According to Homu-san, this is a local dish in their country called “phat kaphrao”.

Claire-sama, try saying “phat kaphrao” ten times fast.

(Claire)

Eh?

Um.

Phatkaphrao! Phatkaphrao! Phatkaphrao! PhatkaphraO!

PHAtkaphraO! PHATkaphraO! PHATKAPHRAO! PHATKAPHRAO!

PHATKAPHRAO!!

PHATKAPHRAO!!!

Hah…… hah……. H-How was that!?

(Rei)

Back where I came from, we used to refer to this dish as “gapao rice”.

(Claire)

Then why did you make me go through all of that!?

(Rei)

It’s just chewing practice. Although you didn’t seem to bite the bait. Tch.

(Claire)

Don’t those two have totally different meanings!?

Let’s get back to the main topic.

How is this dish made?

When it comes to rice dishes, the only ones I know about are gyuudon* and fried rice.

(* = A beef bowl dish)

(Rei)

Sauté some minced meat with various bell peppers and onions in garlic oil and then season it with sugar, chili pepper, nam pla, soy sauce and pepper and then stir-fry while adding basil to it, place it on rice, and finally, top it off with a fried egg but the fried egg is most delicious if it is half-boiled.

(Claire)

Too fast, that’s too fast!

Why are you speaking so quickly!? And you packed way too much information at once too!?

What are “nam pla” and “soy sauce” anyway?

(Rei)

Well, they’re fermented condiments made from fish and soy beans respectively. Out of all of the flavors that Claire-sama may be familiar with, salt would probably be the closest match, but because those sauces are made by fermenting proteins, they are also quite rich.

(Claire)

How fascinating.

(Rei)

Ah, soy sauce is also used in gyuudon, though.

(Claire)

So it’s a sauce that I’m unexpectedly familiar with!?

(Rei)

Well, you wouldn’t really expect soy sauce to appear in fantasy settings.

Anyway, singing the dish’s praises aside, since they went through all of the effort to make this for you, please give it a taste.

(Claire)

You’re right. Homu-san, I’m digging in.

Mm…… (om nom nom)

(Rei)

How is it?

(Claire)

……!

What is this? It’s incredibly delicious!

There’s an abundance of spices used in this.

Even though the spices make it very luxurious on their own, the minced beef is made out of actual high-class ground meat rather than meat scraps!

The oil is very fine quality as well.

(Rei)

Ooh, you’re starting your review from the ingredients used. As expected of a former noblewoman.

(Claire)

The taste is a bit strange, but I quite like it.

The spices are different from what I usually eat. They leave you with such an appealing aftertaste that rivals the meat.

Even leaving the spices aside, there’s also the sweetness of the rice to take into account.

Rice can really be quite a delicious thing.

(Rei)

Claire-sama, are you secretly some sort of expert food reviewer?

(Claire)

The fried egg on top was cooked wonderfully as well…… If you look closely, the colors on the yolk and egg white are dark and beautiful…… The egg tastes good as well.

This dish is just as amazing as Rei’s cooking.

(Rei)

How is it compared to your cooking, Claire-sama?

(Claire)

To compare my cooking to this would be ridiculous…… What do you want me to say?

(Rei)

May I also have a bite?

(Claire)

…… This is my birthday present, you know?

(Rei)

Did you really enjoy it that much?

Well, I might be able to reproduce this dish if I can get a taste of it. (nom)

(Claire)

Ahhhhhh, you’re taking such a big bite at once, ahhhhhhhh.

(Rei)

Om nom nom.

Ah, this is amazing. As expected, it tastes quite different when the herbs and nam pla sauce used are from the dish’s native country.

Back where I’m from, lots of new ingredients have been made increasingly available, but in the end, they really are no match against the ingredients used in dishes’ native countries.

(Claire)

Is that so?

(Rei)

Yes. Moreover, Homu-san seems to be a really good cook as well. Going by the pictures alone, you can tell they are very used to it.

(Claire)

I’m envious……

I wish I could cook too……. Grr.

(Rei)

Claire-sama, you’re the type of person that can do just about anything, so at the very least, please leave cooking as your only weakness.

(Claire)

I just don’t get it.

(Rei)

If I hadn’t been reincarnated into another world, I would’ve loved to have had a conversation with Homu-san about cooking. Thai cuisine includes other delicious dishes like Tom Yum Goong and green curry, after all. I would’ve loved to learn how to make those.

(Claire)

That sounds like it would be fun.

(Rei)

Homu-san, if you ever happen to find yourself reincarnated into Bauer or the Empire, please let me know.

Thank you very much.

(Claire)

How should I wrap this up?

Thank you so much. I’ll cherish the phat kaphrao dearly.

(Rei)

Let’s eat it.

(Twitter)

(Twitter)

(Twitter)

(Twitter)

(Twitter)