Saturday Update! (Patreon)

CG Completion: 176/182 [ I know that's technically worse but I have reasons x'D ]

Hello again!

I did manage to barely keep up with my work last week, but I have to admit it was really difficult. 

I'm just not feeling my best ^^; I know I should be happy and proud or excited about coming this far but for some reason I'm just not feeling that way. I feel scared and unmotivated. I think maybe the change is scary, and the idea of actually being done. I'm terrified this whole thing will be a giant mistake, that people will be so disappointed, that what I've made just won't be enough.

I'm even kind of scared of success. What if it does do well? Then I have to deal with the inevitable people who want to 'take me down a notch'. I know well enough that one probably comes from trauma, I've been punished pretty hard for success in the past. 

I don't know, really. I'm not sure what to make of my feelings. I wish I was more carefree x'D

But regardless of how I feel, I'm getting close to the bottom of this slide and my choice to get off was a long, long time ago. Nowhere to go now but forward.

So! I can at least show you something. 

This is the background for all the CGs I'm working on. I really underestimated how much work it would be x'D it took 2 days. [ I somehow plum forgot that a fresh, technical background would take that much effort- I'd been slapping a lot of reused art on the bg of most CGs ]

Now some of you might have noticed the '181' change to '182' up there. Not a typo, I'm afraid. I wen through the scene's code and decided the beginning was jarring because it described the scene for a long time without showing anything, so I added another CG to the beginning. Since the background and one character will be exactly the same, the extra work will be minimal.

Speaking of characters, here's what's going on behind the scenes:

• There's a total of 6 CGs now to draw
• They each include 2 characters, fullbody drawings [ that's why shit is taking so long and is so difficult ]
• One character is fully sketched for all CGs now, while the other is posed and partially sketched [ I need to adjust the anatomy and add clothing/hair ]

I think I can finish the sketches for the other character HOPEFULLY in one day. Maybe two max. 

Then It's just a matter of inking and coloring, which will be tedious but mercifully brainless. I am guess that will make more than 4 days and could bleed into next-next week. Sooo probably done on Feb 15. 

All in all, I am struggling, but I am also marching forward. Hopefully I can get over this mood slump and enjoy what I've done soon. But for now, I have to just keep grinding.

And of course, thank you guys so much for being so patient with me! I'm sorry I can't show you more of this work due to spoilers ^^; But I really appreciate you guys having my back through this anyway!

Stay safe and have a fun weekend! <3