Saturday Update! (Patreon)

Hello friends! I have good news! ^o^ Last week went well!

This is actually gonna be a long update [ I can feel it ] so I'm gonna split it into two topics: Game Production report and Mental Health report.

GAME PRODUCTION:

Last week I got the gears moving again and jumped back into sprite work! During Monday and Tuesday, I finished up the last bits of Derek's path. 

I drew up the last major sprite [ Richard from behind ] which I used to replace two boring cgs. Tuesday was dedicated to polishing up the hardest ending to get in the game. I thumbed up and programmed a special ending screen for it, drew up new expressions for Tom and Jaqueline, and made some killer sprite alterations.

On Wednesday I switched gears again and got started on Celia's path! 

I had to make some serious adjustments right off the bat since Celia's neutral base sprites were too small for my taste [ her path hits different. She's up in your business way more often by herself ] and her first background was looking pretty subpar. Not only that, but the angle of the room I drew looked bad with her sprite. The situation wasn't looking good.

However, my brain juices were actually flowing so I got down to work and redrew the bottom portion of the background- and I extended it to make the image taller. I also drew a new table and re-exported a new larger Celia. Then I added in some basic animation to pan the camera up at the beginning and -kisses fingertips- I gotta say it's a huge difference.

I have a quick vid to demonstrate: https://youtu.be/vvDOO8XkdcU

[ sorry it's a link and not embedded- I set the video to be extra private so only people with this link can view it. Also the music is 'Bitches Brew' by Crosses, not part of the game x'D ]

After making that fix, I started hammering out Celia expressions. During Thursday and Friday, I drew seven new expressions.

Here's a taste of a couple :)

On a tangentially related note,  I personally find that I don't quite 'fall in love' with my characters until I've drawn them a few times. I can feel that process really setting in with Celia now as I begin to discover how she emotes, her little face quirks, and how she reacts in general. This information is sort of neither here nor there but I do find it interesting.

[ Those images above are sequential by the way lmao ]

Next week is definitely gonna be more of the same. Since Celia's path is largely centered on a single character instead of like 10, I feel justified in really going to town on her expressions and putting a lot of effort into these one-on-one interactions.

MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE:

It's no secret that my mental health has taken a massive nosedive over the past month. The heat and news climate have been exacerbating my usual underlying issues.

I had to do some serious self reflection, and as a result, I think I've made some breakthroughs!

I'll start by painting you guys a picture of what my work days looked like before.

I would wake up stressed from the previous day. Then I would tell myself to work for 'eight hours' with no plan or concept for what those eight hours should actually accomplish. 

Due to the daunting concept of doing 'something' and being productive 'somehow' for eight hours, I would often find myself unable to start tasks. And I would beat myself up mercilessly for my lack of productivity.

Then, after 8 hours- sometimes after as much as 12 hours, I would mentally collapse, unable to stand it any more. 

Then it would be time for 'rest' but what I really did for the rest of the day is agonize about how I didn't get enough done and think about 'how I really should be working'.

Sound like a compounding nightmare that would fry anyone's brain? LMAO

So last-last week I tried to take a break. Yet I found myself simply straining to complete other, non-game related work instead.

Last weekend I knew I had to try something else, so I stepped back and tried to identify what was wrong.

I bought two things: A weighted blanket to reduce stress at night, and a pad of daily planner sheets to reduce stress during the day.

I began to schedule my work at a maximum of 4 hours. [ we're starting small and then adding 1 hour per week until it feels right ] I also got serious about using my break-timer app to ensure that I would never be working for more than 28 minutes straight without a break.

This changed my approach to the work. When I felt like I had a timer for 28 minutes and only a total of 4 hours, I concentrated fully on my work without getting distracted. I also got a little bit of serotonin after each 28 minutes since I had officially completed a bit of work. 

At the end of the 4 hours in a day, I had accomplished more than I had during the days where I strained for 10 hours. And I look back at my planner pad and see all the goals I had accomplished. That was another little bit of serotonin. I also accomplished the bits of exercise I planned for myself.

By the end of the day, I had been working for fewer hours, yet I felt like a rock star. I could see a solid, tangible representation of the work I accomplished so I couldn't fool myself into thinking I had pissed the day away.

Honestly, I think the $20 I spent on the planners has paid off more than the $100 I spent on the blanket x'D [ I do like the blanket too though, it does make me a feel a little better at night for sure ].

So my conclusion from all this? I definitely have some ADHD, daily planners are my new best friend, and I feel quite confident about the future!

And with that good note, I'm gonna finish off and thank you all profusely for hanging in there with me. Your support has gotten me through some really really tough shit and I honestly can't convey the depth of my gratitude.

Thank you so much, and stay safe out there! <3