How Game of Thrones Should've Ended (Patreon)

Before the final season of Game of Thrones started, I threw together a script for a quick comedy short that I was going to call "LEAKED: Game of Thrones ending revealed!!" I was hoping to film it while GoingPostale was in town for a speaking engagement. In the end we decided to have more of a chill weekend, but I wanted to share the script I wrote just for fun!

SANSA is doing something in a room. Idk. gazing out a window. ARYA enters with a scroll in her hand.

ARYA

Your Grace, a raven for you.

SANSA

Now now, just because I’m the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms doesn’t mean you have to be so formal! Remember that heartfelt reconciliation scene we had earlier today?

ARYA

You mean the one where we realized that both of our unique ways of navigating womanhood in Westeros are valid, and vowed to support each other forevermore in sisterhood, and you made me head of your Queensguard because I’m the kingdom’s greatest warrior? Of course I remember! Anyway, here’s the message, it’s from Jon.

SANSA

(She unrolls the scroll and reads it)

Oh, wonderful. He says Winterfell is doing great and being Warden of the North is cool and he’s definitely alive.

ARYA

Rad! Anyway, I need to go, I’m meeting Gendry for date night.

SANSA

It’s so wild how he just turned up again after being lost for so long on that boat!

ARYA

Yeah! I’m so glad he loves me for who I am and is comfortable with my trepidation towards rigid gender roles and the expectations placed on me for performance of femininity.

SANSA

We sure are lucky! Plus, Bran said that nothing bad will happen to us ever again, and we’ll die peacefully in our sleep at a ripe old age. And he would know!

SANSA and ARYA laugh together. After a moment, they turn to stare unblinkingly into the camera. After an uncomfortably long moment, FADE TO BLACK.