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Chapter 12: About High School Love Fantasies

Have you ever experienced the heart-pounding fear of being randomly called out by a teacher in school? Have you experienced the thrill of going to the restroom without respecting the teacher's authority? Have you experienced the pride of freely interacting with your classmates?

As an ordinary student, I have not experienced any of these.

However, from what I gather, I can act at any time I want to if I want to have this kind of psychological feeling.

It's not that we students of Class B that are particularly unruly, but rather, the behavior of the teachers during class gives me the psychological suggestion that it's okay to do anything we want. In the current situation, I feel like the movies I watched about highschool before were all jokes, but also satire.

Open-ended teaching, self-directed classroom.

It's not that the teachers aren't paying attention, but rather, there's no need to, the teacher doesn’t need to tell the student to pay attention, none of the students of Class B play with their game or talk with each other when when the class begin, they all are paying attention to what the teacher is explaining, Once I understood this, I dared not make any movements that would be considered bad student behavior under the lens of the camera.

Although teachers can see the whole situation from the podium, their eyes are only focused on the central block most of the time. So I am very grateful to my dark corner and the image that energy conservationists have brought to me. From the beginning of school to now, I have not been talked to or accepted the task of transporting notes.

Of course, I also want to thank my front table and neighbor.

Ichinose and Kanzaki.

This arrangement made me feel like I was blessed by God for a moment.

The thing I've longed for. In fact, even if the damn gods exist, I wouldn't receive any favor from them, after all, the only thing in my life I have ever done is those of sinful action. Perhaps only the devil, as people often say, would welcome someone like me.

But would the devil agree with such a statement?

The things I have done cannot be called good things, and I know that I am not a good person. If saving other people's lives can be considered a good deed, the consequences that come from saving those lives are bad deeds. 

So what am I?

Boom, boom, boom, boom—

The dismissal bell rang, and I released the pen in my hand, yawning and stretching lazily. I believe in focusing during class and balancing relaxation during breaks, which is the best study plan promoted by the school. So, taking a rest is very important.

Hmm, and also, sleep is essential for maintaining mental endurance.

The class was filled with all kinds of noises—about the latest video game releases, about someone spending 80.000 Point on a gaming console, about a new item introduced at the coffee shop, and so on. I played the role of a good listener, silently absorbing real-time news. As for participation, I didn't consider the energy expenditure of walking to join the conversation, so I decided against it.

"I heard there are already couples in our class."

"Is that so? That was fast."

"Your tone is so indifferent. Don't you even care about pretending to care anymore?"

"I am managing it well, haven't you noticed?"

"No, you still seem as lazy as ever."

"Do you have some misconception about me?"

"I’m simply being honest."

While bantering with Kanzaki, I subconsciously observed the surroundings.

"Who are the couple you're talking about?"

"I don't know, but it seems like it was mentioned in the boys' group chat."

"....Seems like? So, in the end, you don't know either."

"Although I rarely use it, I happened to glance at the Boy group chat and caught a glimpse of such conversation yesterday. Didn't you see it?"

"If you want to see, then look properly. What does 'glancing' mean..."

"You who are not in the know of this have no right to speak. it means you didn't even bother to glance."

"Um, well, I usually use the class group chat..."

"Such a poor attempt at diversion."

"I just don't check it often. Do you have any plans to date in high school?"

"Me?" Kanzaki shook her head rationally. "I haven't considered it. For us, the feeling that we called ‘romance’ in high school isn't really genuine. It's just seeking emotional comfort due to peer pressure, it’s not true love. At most, it's just puppy crush, that, or lust."

"I see."

"Look at the boys in our class, don't they seem like monkeys in mating season at the zoo? Although I'm part of that group too, I have to admit it."

"......"

That's too objective, isn't it? What a sharp critique.

"And you—oh, sorry, I've offended you. It's impossible for you anyway. If we're monkeys in mating season, you've probably monkey who have been castrated already."

"Hey hey hey, please stop with the bizarre metaphors! At least give me some recognition in this aspect."

"No, it's impossible no matter how you think about it. With your way of thinking, you'd probably say, ‘Let's just forget about finding a girlfriend, it's too troublesome.' That's what you'd say."

"No matter what, I still have some fantasies about women."

"That's not something to boast about. Every normal guy has such thoughts. At most, I can only congratulate you for being within the range of humans and not a dead fish."

"......"

"Admit it, that's your limit."

"Actually, that's not my limit yet," I rarely uttered a retort, although it lacked much conviction.

"So, what about it? Do you plan on getting a girlfriend?"

"........"

Can't you give me a little face…

I pouted and turned my head to the side.

Girlfriend...

What kind of girl would I choose as a romantic partner?

The survey report I read mentioned that guys tend to prioritize looks infinitely when choosing a partner of the opposite sex.

So, I should choose a girl who is beautiful, virtuous, and gentle, like Ichinose. If she could also have the trait of being easy to deceive, then I would be even more eager.

Come to think of it, I haven't heard of Ichinose being confessed to. Maybe it's well concealed.

So, what would happen if I confessed to her? Would she accept?

With no experience at all, I fantasize about the entirety of romance novels.

Beep—

[So? Where and where are we going to meet?] - Yuzo Yoshii.

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Tn: Have you ever thought that whatever the researcher in the White Room would bother to give either Kiyotaka or Luo Mu with some porn material? Or would they try to keep the White Room Subject 'innocent'? Only telling them the most basic thing about love between man and a woman?