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But Nora! Belfry wants to make sure Tamberlane is safe *all the time!*

Thanks to Lauren Pierre for flatting this page!

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Leo G.

Ah yes! The classic “first kid” panic. Sterilize everything, kid-proof everything to the point you can’t even get to your own toilet paper, ban anything more toxic than ultra pure water from the entire neighborhood… Kid no. 3? Pick the pacifier up off the floor you haven’t swept or mopped in a month (because who has that kinda time?), brush it off, jam back into kiddo’s mouth just so you can get 8 seconds of silence, take them outside and use pressure washer with foam cannon to clean up after the birthday cake fiasco, and have a bottle of undiluted sulfuric acid permanently attached to a spring loaded belt clip to clean up after the living hurricane that now wanders around your house naked at all hours flinging poo like a deranged monkey.

Carl G Knoblock

We only had 2, so we didn't quite reach the 3rd kid stage, but number 2 gets some of it.