CSA 83 - Elf Regressed Into a Baby (Patreon)

“Chicken, pork, beef, mutton, horse meat, venison... let's buy them all.”
“Can you buy that many and eat them all?”

First, I went to a butcher shop to buy all sorts of meat. Meat is delicious no matter what world you are in. If I had been reincarnated in a different world where there is no meat-based food culture, I think I would have shaved off my own meat and eaten it. Well, that’s assuming there is a way to recover though.

“I have Item Box, so I can store it for a long time.”
“I see...”

I don't know about other people, but the item box-type Skill I use stores items in a literally empty subspace, so they don't deteriorate due to temperature or humidity, nor weather due to air, so food can be stored there for a long time. I think fermented foods lose their flavor because the bacteria die though. If I made lactic acid bacteria or other bacteria that are effective even if they die, maybe it'll be okay?

When I paid with my card and tossed the purchased meat into my Inventory, the clerk's eyes widened in surprise, so I smiled. Nrva is staring at me with scornful eyes, but I don't mind her.

Next is the greengrocer. The name of the store is Vegetable and Fruit Store, though.
There may be one in Khizr Country, but in this region there is no concept of Yaoyorozu no Kami, so the name ‘greengrocer (yaoya)’ was never created. In the first place, the concept of having 800 of something is a unique Japan-specific way of thinking, so if we were to say it here, it would probably be ‘bountiful harvest store (hojoya)’ or ‘bumper crop store (hoyosakuya)’.

(T/N: 八百万の神 - Yaoyorozu no Kami - all the gods and goddesses; all the deities. 八百屋 - yaoya - greengrocer; fruit and vegetable shop, literally: 800 store, or maybe a store containing the blessing of all the gods and goddesses.)

“Oranges, apples, strawberries, lemons, kiwis, melons, and watermelons, that’s about it for the fruits, the vegetables would be potatoes, carrots, onions, cabbage, cucumbers, lettuce, eggplants, bell peppers, corn, basil, garlic, ginger, and...”
“Hey hey, aren’t you going to buy things like fennel, puntarella, or caldo?”

She pointed to vegetables that I have never seen or heard of in my previous life as she recommended them to me, but are they isekai vegetables?
By the way, the only vegetables served at the orphanage were potatoes, carrots, onions, and cabbage. If there had been bean sprouts, they probably would have been used at every meal without fail.
Also, watermelon is a fruit in both my previous life and this life.

* (T/N: apparently, fennel and puntarella actually exist here, I’ve never heard of them until I translated it here though. And caldo vegetables don't exist here.)

“Vegetables that I don't know how to cook are a little... they’re shaggy too anyway.”
“Then how about I make it for you?”
“I've heard rumors that elf cooking is damned shit.”

I heard it in my previous life though.

“They’re lies spread by people who don't like vegetables! Besides, I can add meat as an accent to my cooking!”

Meat as an accent... No matter how you look at it, it's a predictable case...

“Is it okay for elves to eat meat?”
“A lot of us just like vegetables, but when it’s time to eat meat, we eat it.”
“I see.”

I don't hate vegetables either, but if I had to choose between meat and vegetables, I’d choose meat, so it seems like my taste buds don't match the elf food culture.

I wasn't interested in elf cooking, so I shrugged off the topic of Nrva making a home-cooked meal and bought the rest of things I needed for cooking such as seasonings, eggs, dairy products, flour, potato starch, and with these, I could make delicious meals anytime, anywhere.
By the way, potato starch is called imoko here.

“Then, shall we go home?”
“Nn? Home?”
“Eh? To my house?”
“Um, after this, I'm planning on collecting funds and going on a journey though?”
“...That's no good.”

Isn’t her Menhera aura on full blast all of a sudden? It's just scary.

“What's no good about this...?”
“You have to stay by my side forever. You don't have to go anywhere. I'll protect you from now on.”

Her eyes are completely gone. This is, if I say anything unnecessary, I’ll be stalked for the rest of my life.
But that awakened my mischievous spirit, so shall I try teasing her?

“Protect me, you said, but wasn't it because you attacked me that I had no choice but to disappear? What do you think I was feeling when I kept running away from you? Even if you pretend to be nice now, there’s no way I can trust you. How can I trust you after you ruined my peaceful life? Besides, I haven't forgiven you yet.”
“...U-UEEEEEEEEENNNN!! I’M SOOOORRRYYYYY!”
“Ueh!? H-hey! Please don't cry so loudly!”

Arueh? Did I say too much? I said too much, didn’t I? It's obvious that I've said too much because a grown adult is crying loudly like a small child.

I was just trying to tease her a little bit, but why do I have to feel so guilty?

“UEEEEEEEEEEENN!! FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

The people of the city who heard the commotion gathered around and saw her slumped on the spot, her face covered in tears and snot, clinging to me and begging for forgiveness.

It's good that the elf's embarrassing rumors increased, but I don't like it when it comes as a set with my bad rumors instead.

“Or rather, please stop crying! Won’t this make it look like it's my fault?!”
“I’M SOORRRYYYYY!!”
“I understand! I forgive you! I forgive you, so please stop crying!”
“UEEEEEEEEEEEEEENN!! ZHANK HOU OR WORGIBING MEEEEEE!!”

Even after I forgave her, Nrva was still crying loudly, so I cast Levitation Magic on her and hurried back to Nrva's house while holding her in a koala hug.

This will definitely make a strange rumor about me spread throughout the city...

Even when we got back to Nrva's house, Nrva was still crying loudly, so I wondered what to do with her, so I thought I'd give her a bath, so in a super-express rush, I filled the bathtub with hot water, took off Nrva’s clothes that were stained with tears and snot, strip her completely naked, and plunged her into the bathtub.
I'm also getting in while I’m at it.

“Uuu, hics, so warm...”
“We’ll go in together until you calm down.”
“Un!”

Nrva had completely regressed into a baby, so I patted her head, hugged her tightly, did a ‘good girl good girl’ ASMR to her ear, and cuddled her until she stopped crying completely.

In exchange, it seems like she couldn't come back after regressing into a baby, but she's cute, so I guess it’s okay.

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