New Video: When The Smoke Clears (Patreon)
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very belatedly, here's the video for "when the smoke clears" <3
the outpouring of love and support since i posted about my infertility journey last week has been incredible and overwhelming. thank you all so much for your understanding and compassion <3
our new song “when the smoke clears” attempts to encapsulate some of the pain as well as some of the lessons jesse and i have experienced these past years. the constant grappling with time (and the perceived loss of it), the feelings of helplessness and the grasping at trying to control outcomes in a picture that is so much bigger than us, the struggle to keep trusting and finding meaning and beauty in things when part of you just wants to give up, watching your friends enter into a new phase of life you'd hoped to enter with them and seeing your paths begin to diverge.
it's about thinking that we have control, yet knowing we have none. thinking we could have done things differently, that there was some better, alternate timeline we could have lived if we had made a different choice along the way. but at the end of the day, this timeline, this is the only one that’s real. and in this one, we are still alive, our families and friends are still safe. we still have each other. so we try not to reject this timeline or wish it away.
time and time again we have learned that the hardest things we’ve gone through have been the things that shaped us, gave us depth, and taught us how precious the things that matter really are. i am grateful for every hardship i have had so far, and deep down i know that someday, somehow, i will be grateful for this one, too.
"when the smoke clears" is out in all the places. thank you all so much for being the absolute best and supporting my music <3 <3 <3
xo
kina
p.s. song download!