Chapter 16: A New Home (Patreon)

Izuku blinked, not really expecting a surprise party, what with Nezu saying something along the lines of an indoctrination. At best, he thought of this being some sort of ritual where he was asked a bunch of question non-stop until the rest of the staff were satisfied. At worst, well, they are professional heroes. Are there even any worse possibilities?

“Well? Don’t just stand there, special guest! Come on in!” Present Mic - he remembered due to the costume he wore. That, and how he ruptured a lot of villains’ eardrums during the USJ - greeted with a massive grin on his face. A stark contrast to the judgmental gaze coming from one red-clad hero with tubes of blood on his back.

The rest of the staff stood there patiently, waiting for him to enter the room. He spotted a cowboy, a block of cement, a guy with big teeth, man with a dog’s snout, and a mature woman, along with both Present Mic and the blood hero. A colorful and unique cast of characters, if he was being honest.

Stepping foot inside the room, Izuku didn’t really make any kind of facial expression, treating this like it was another encounter not unlike in the Lands Between. The number of times he was caught off guard while exploring the damn continent was too many to count, resulting in either horrifying deaths or amusing scenarios.

Take that giant warrior jar for instance. Alexander was his name, if Izuku recalled correctly. He wasn’t winning any strongest jar in the world title as he was now, but his optimism was too contagious. He couldn’t help but smile every time he remembered the lovable giant oaf.

“Well then, since none of my colleagues are introducing themselves first, allow me go on ahead. Ladies first and all.” The mature woman winked at Izuku, causing the teen who looked more like a young adult tilt his head. “Kayama Nemuri, professional hero name Midnight. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Yooo! Yamada Hizashi in the house! Present Mic on broadcast during the weekends!” Present Mic pulled down his shades as he let Izuku glimpse the colors of his eyes for a single moment. “Nice to meet ya!”

“Couldn’t you be any less of a loudmouth?” The block of cement palmed his face before giving Izuku was kind wave. “Greetings. My name is Ishiyama Ken, hero name Cementoss. A wonderful day to meet you, Midoriya Izuku.”

“Howdy pardner, just call me Snipe.” Cowboy tipped his hat to him and Izuku nodded his head along. He knew a gesture of respect when he saw one. As for how? His various experiences with random invasions were enough of a reminder. He never really did figure out why most of them liked squatting on his dead corpse and standing up, only to repeat them until they fade into motes of light. It was a confusing gesture, one that he still had no idea how and why it existed.

“Kan Sekijiro. Vlad King.” The hero with blood tubes on his back grunted. Not really much for conversation, Izuku mused.

“Ectoplasm.” Teeth hero nodded, to which Izuku nodded in return. “I teach math.”

Izuku had no idea how to respond to that.

“Inui Ryo. Hero name Hound Dog.” The hound-looking hero nearly made Izuku revert back to base instincts whenever a canine came near him. Damn those dogs, giving him PTSD every second of the day. “Guidance counselor of the school.”

And wasn’t that a surprise. A man with a dog-related quirk - judging by his snout- with a dog-related name, and a dog-related costume as seen by the hanging muzzle on his waist, was the guidance counselor of the school. Maybe fate had a sense of humor after all, seeing that a literal therapy dog was counseling the entirety of the student body.

Now that it was his turn to introduce himself, Izuku bowed regally, like that one invader in the Roundtable Hold. He didn’t know why he defaulted to the gesture, but at this point, it was just a habit whenever an invader comes along.

“Midoriya Izuku.” His armor clanked as he bowed, not really suitable for the gesture he was doing. “Assistant teacher? I’ll have to ask Nezu for more information about what role I’ll be playing in his school.”

“… Fair enough.” Midnight shrugged, the mature woman’s grin returning as she slowly walked towards him. “Now then…”

The grin on her face was all it took for Izuku to step back and nearly swing open the door. No way in hell was he dealing with that woman. Just, no. Never in his life had he ever felt the danger to his chastity, something he was keen on preserving, for some reason. But before he went the nuclear route and run for the hills, a statement.

“I’m a minor, by the way.” The words that exited his mouth managed to freeze Midnight in place, her grin slowly slipping away as it turned into a cringe.

“… Wha-” A pat on her back cut her off, Present Mic shaking his head with a disappointed frown.

“Nemuri, I know you like them young, but for the love of all that is holy, don’t simp for the underage dude.” The DJ hero glared at him; his brows furrowed. “Even if he looks like someone in his mid-20’s…”

“If you need proof, you can just ask Nezu.” Izuku shrugged, seeing no more point in trying to get out of the room with the obviously thirsty woman… No, cougar. “Anyway, is that food?”

He pointed at the different assorted pieces of food neatly laid on the table, some of them looking too good to pass off. The last time he had something to eat was with the man that sold cooked lobsters. Eating fruits and cooked meat from dogs and other animals that roamed the plains with no spices became tiring once he had his fill of eating them every single day.

“Yes it is, pardner. Care to partake?” The cowboy gestured for the obvious buffet and Izuku didn’t hesitate to grab a chicken leg. Biting off a chunk of flesh, Izuku nearly shed a tear. God, how long has it been since he’s eaten properly cooked food?

He didn’t care that he was making mess. He didn’t care that his metal gloves were being stained by the various sauces that coated the delicious food. Who knows? It might be the last time he would be able to taste them again… Might as well savor the moment.

“Jeez, someone’s hungry.” Present Mic patted his back, the light thump an unwelcome gesture as he glared at the excitable blond. “Save some for us, will ya? I know this is for you, but holy are you going it at like a man possessed!”

Izuku stopped than looked down on his hands. His heart thumped and he nearly shied away from the buffet, but then he reminded himself that he didn’t know when would be the last time he would be able to eat like this, so screw his embarrassment!

That said, it would be a bit selfish of him to be hogging all the food, so he stepped aside and made enough room for the rest of the heroes to partake as well. They grabbed plates and utensils, Izuku blinking as he facepalmed, coating his face with the various sticky substances that made the food good.

Of all the things he had to forget, using a plate was one of them. How the hell did that happen? He was sure that there were a bunch of plates when he scoured Stormveil Castle… Then again, he never used a plate ever since he got transported to the Lands Between… Also, his memories have been getting spotty the more he died, but nothing important was lost… Maybe…

Shaking his head, Izuku moved to get a plate but one was handed to him by Midnight, who was looking a bit sheepish now.

“First off, I didn’t know you were a minor.” Midnight rattled off like a trembling fawn. “Second, how did Nezu get the greenlight for you being an assistant teacher if you are a minor?”

“Don’t ask.” Vlad King was the one who responded, his hands picking through some protein rich food as he stuffed them on his plate. “It’s Nezu.”

“… Point taken.” Midnight grumbled once more and continued putting more and more food onto her plate.

“Careful there Nem’s. I know how much you care about your waistline.” Present Mic’s grin wilted away as the mature woman sent him a demonic glare so malicious, it could freeze hell over. “Shutting up now.”

“Heh, that’ll teach ya to run yer mouth.” Snipe commented as he detached the lower part of his mask to eat his own portion made mostly out of vegetables.

“Ugh, my legs are killing me.” Ectoplasm sat down on the couch before his hands parted the trench coat hiding the bottom half of his body, revealing his specially made prosthetic legs. “Too bad Maijima isn’t here, could’ve helped me with the maintenance.”

“Where is he anyway?” Vlad King questioned as he sat on a nearby sofa.

“Something about a pink-haired menace that won’t leave the lab.” Present Mic shrugged as he stuffed himself full of pasta.

“… Yeah, I can see that.” Midnight cringed as she slowly devoured more protein than even Vlad King had on his plate. “Kid’s a smart cookie, but a bit too focused at times.”

As the room devolved into idle chatter, Izuku observed everybody silently from the corner of the room. If anything, at least his stay here would prove a bit amusing, if not for the possible interactions with Katsuki, but the shenanigans he could pull via teaching the students.

He wondered how Patches would feel himself being used as a test dummy? Nah, surely he won’t mind. And if he did, he’d call that even for sending him straight into the ass of a giant runebear.

[][][]

“Well, here is your temporary lodgings, at least until you could find yourself with a more permanent residence.” Nezu, still riding on someone’s shoulder but this time delegated to a stone-faced Midnight, chirped with a paw waving around the air. “I know it isn’t much, but this was provided without due notice. I hope you’ll give your thanks to Cementoss if you see him, seeing as he was the one who made this entire structure for you.”

Izuku hummed, looking over the entire house with his eyes. It wasn’t anything mind-boggling, those belonged to the architecture found in the Lands Between, but overall, it served its purpose.

Two stories, and walled with thick concrete painted a light gray, a sturdy wooden oak door, and a welcome mat underneath a porch. Heading inside, Izuku hummed some more as he inspected every inch of the house.

There was a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and a dining room on the first floor, and three bedrooms plus a master bedroom on the second floor. There was also a basement, but Izuku didn’t go down there yet in favor of seeing Nezu off with Midnight still like a stone statue.

For some reason, every time Nezu rode on one of the staff’s shoulders, they became quiet golems, not wanting to talk unless spoken too. It even happened to All Might, albeit in his shriveled form, but the idea was there. Were they really that afraid of a small rat? Then again, he is probably the smartest being in the entire planet thanks to his almost bullshit quirk.

Anyway, with them gone, it was time to check the basement. Heading down the concrete steps, Izuku flicked open the switch and light illuminated the previously dark room. There were a bunch of shelves, all of them empty since there was nothing to even store yet, but maybe during his travels, he could store the gear here instead of his bottomless box if ever Patches were to steal it.

After all, how could the bald man steal it when he’s in… another world…? Eh, semantics.

That said, where is zweihander? Nezu said that he placed it in the basement after he got custody of it from the police. He made sure the blade was well-maintained because he treated it as his lover. There was also the other reason that Hewg would strangle him with his chains if he ever managed to destroy something he’s been reforging with the smithing stones Izuku’d delivered.

And then, he saw it. Eyes widening, he felt the warmth emanating from one corner of the basement, his skin tingling as he drew ever closer. His feet carried him closer to the heat, and once close, his mouth hung open, before it turned into a smile.

No longer was he lost, for the Guidance of Grace had found him again.