Chapter 10 (Patreon)

“Well. This is awkward…”

I couldn’t help but voice my thoughts as the situation unfolded in front of me. By this time of day, I would normally be back in the Xiao Long/Rose residence exercising my ass off for them sweet, sweet gains.

Well, Taiyang had different plans.

“What do you mean we have to escort this… fat civilian as we clear the forest of Grimm?” A student, quite notably a classmate of Yang with cherry pink hair and a tan, voiced her displeasure as her eyes bore into me like daggers.

No worries, love. The feeling’s mutual. Also, how dare you. This isn’t fat. It’s muscle… Well, at least 30% muscle. Still working on the fat.

“Marisol, please cut back on the scalding remarks.” Taiyang narrowed his eyes at the teen, who shrugged as she sucked on a lolipop. “Remember that as future Huntsmen and Huntresses, it is your duty to safeguard those who cannot do so, and that includes the civilians of the Kingdoms.”

“Yeah, not cool, dude.” Yang as well glared at the tanned teen, who threw a baleful look at the blond. Okay, there’s some tension between the two. Only a blind person couldn’t notice that, and I ain’t blind.

I have my fucking 20/20 eye test score back on Earth hung on a wall in my apartment. I treasure that thing like a family heirloom, so I know what I’m talking about.

“Really? Coming from you?” Marisol advanced towards the blond, both of them nearly touching foreheads together as they snarled at one another. And my weeb mind imagined sparks crackling from eye to eye as they sized each other up.

All that was left was for them to kiss, but hell nah. I ain’t that type of guy. Fuck this horny mind, dude…

“Okay, break it up you two, break it up.” Taiyang groaned as he moved towards the two teens that were ready to go down swinging. “I swear you two get along like Dust and Grimm on a rainy day.”

"Don’t I get any say in this?” I raised my hand with a tilt of my head. The class gazes’ now zeroed in on my, but I refused to tremble at their soul-piercing eyes.

“No.” Taiyang shook his head and separated the two with his manly biceps. “Pull another stunt like this on patrol, and I’ll be giving both of you a failing grade. You hear me?”

“… Tch, yes dad.” Yang grouched like an old man would grouch about his back. The other one, Marisol, clicked her tongue as well but only gave a brief nod to the muscular instructor.

“Alright, so… Jack here will be acting as your civilian the rest of you will have to protect during this patrol.” Taiyang moved closer to me and patted my back, my knees buckling at the force. I glared at him, but he ignored me in favor for addressing the students. “Don’t worry. His aura is unlocked, but just in case, I’ll be next to him the entire time.”

“Oh sure, treat me like a fragile vase why don’t you.” I pouted and Yang’s reaction to that was a slight chuckle. “Ain’t like my ego isn’t shattered enough with you two breathing down my neck everyday.”

Now that got a chuckle out of Taiyang as well, Yang following suit, but the rest of the class groaned. I guess they aren’t that into puns, but when in Rome, do as the romans do. Ain’t no way I’m suffering in silence in the Xiao Long-Rose household with their shitty puns.

“As for how I’m grading you, every time I have to step in to protect Jack here, I’ll reduce your points.” Taiyang patted my shoulder back again, but I was ready and my knees stayed strong this time. “Oh, and one final thing. Jack, you have permission to be a little shit. To my students.”

“Wait, what?” It wasn’t only me that made a questioning look towards the tanned blond. The rest of the class did as well, with Yang narrowing her eyes at her father. “Okay, look, Taiyang. I’m already a liability, seeing as my combat skills are non-existent, but what do you mean by being a little shit to them?”

I gestured my arms towards the silent class, all of them giving questioning looks towards their instructor. In response, Taiyang shrugged and instead of patting my back, placed a palm on my shoulder.

“Think of it as an increase in difficulty. What if you’re escorting a braindead civilian?” Taiyang said darkly, and I think that this situation is based on experience. “Now, no hate to those civilians in need, but there will come a time where the person you’re escorting is… let’s just say they have the survival instincts of a rock and will do everything in their power to accidentally make your job miserable.”

And now I winced, and so did the students. So, I get to act as the moron. Well, to be fair, there are people like that even back on Earth. Like what those stupid social media influencers do for clout.

Seriously, why the fuck would they do those things?

And then a light bulb appeared over my head.

“Taiyang, will I be protected every step of the way?” I grinned and Taiyang shot me a grin of his own.

“Of course. The more annoying you be, the better.” And glancing over the other students, I can see that most of them were shivering in dread.

“Oh yes, I have just the perfect act.”

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“What do you call this?” I nearly poked a stem of a plant, before I was dragged back by a strong tug from behind. I was quickly twisted around and came face to face with Yang’s unimpressed face.

“Really?”

After a much quiet discussion not including me and Taiyang, Yang was left with babysitter duty during this short break. So it was her task to make sure I was kept out of trouble.

But being the asshole and troll that I was, I made sure she got her exercise.

“Yes.” I grinned and Yang nearly popped a vein. “What? Can’t a man be curious about plants?”

“Yes. Especially if that plant is poisonous, ya goof.” Yang sighed and released me, before I went back to nearly poking the plant.

Once again, I was tugged from behind and came face to face with Yang’s growling face.

“Look, bud. I know dad put you up to annoying the fuck out of us, but I don’t know if I can restrain myself from socking you in the face, damn the consequences.” Looking around me, I saw that nearly most of the class were in full agreement with Yang, and I was loving every second of it.

I’ve always wanted to do something like this. Annoying people just for the fun of it, but back on Earth, if I did that, I was pretty sure I was gonna be right at the end of a barrel in just months. Here? With Taiyang Xiao Long, the instructor basically giving me full permission to mess with his class as long as it isn’t harmful enough?

All bets were fucking off.

“Oh sure, go ahead.” I shrugged and smirked at Yang, who raised a fist in response. “Taiyang gave me a job, and I’ll fulfill that job. And that means annoying all of you.”

“Hey, break’s over. Resume patrol.” Taiyang shouted from the front and Yang’s grip on my shirt tightened with a snarl on her face. “And let go of my assistant, oh dear daughter of mine.”

Reluctantly, she let go of my shirt and stomped off to the front, leaving indented foot trails on the soft soil.

“So, how am I doing?” I asked Taiyang who was approaching with an easy smile.

“Overall, not that annoying enough.” He chuckled and took his spot just right beside me, as he promised earlier when we started the patrol, or test for the students. “The most annoying civilian I had to escort was ten times worse than you. Always frolicking and roaming about, not giving a damn we were in Grimm infested territories.”

Taiyang sighed and his eyes grew somber. “I guess that’s what happens when you spoil children too much.”

“… What happened?” I stared directly into Taiyang’s eyes, his gaze boring down on me like an incoming tide.

“He died due to the Grimm.” Taiyang started walking and I followed him, making sure that I stayed a little bit behind so I can see a portion of his back. “We were supposed to be resting, and Qrow was on lookout. I guess his semblance just acted up.”

I winced. I knew about Qrow’s semblance because of the show. Bad Luck, he calls it. It’s basically Murphy’s Law given form. If something can fuck up, it will fuck up.

“A Grimm roared and I was out of the tent in seconds. First thing I see was Qrow pinned by an Ursa Major.” I could imagine the scene. Maybe they were younger, fresh out of Beacon that this happened, and frankly, I could see that happening during their Team STRQ days. “Raven was rushing the Ursa Major, and Summer was making sure the kid was alright. She found that the tent was destroyed and there was no trace of the kid.”

Okay, now this was just getting depressing.

“While Summer was busy searching for the kid, Qrow and Raven were able to dispatch the Ursa Major, and immediately after that, we went to locate the missing kid. Guess he thought that hiding in the forest sounded like a good idea while he waited for us to kill the Grimm.” Taiyang chuckled bitterly. “We found him not long after being munched on by Grimm. Body was gored so badly, the funeral was held with a closed casket.”

He then stared directly at me, eyes narrowing with a slight frown forming on his face.

“I don’t know what Ozpin saw in you, but a year of training will not be enough prepare you for being a Huntsman.” He then looked at the gathering of students in the clearing, all of them scanning the area and making sure no Grimm were hiding within the shrubbery and bushes. “These kids have been preparing for their whole lives, and they still aren’t ready. Even Yang, although she’d probably try and fight me if I said that out loud.”

I bit my lip. The years of experience the man in front of me weighed heavily on my shoulders. The show back on Earth didn’t explain the deeper, darker themes of the world with humanity nearly on the brink of extinction.

It was mostly focused on four girls trying to be heroes… well, as hero-y as they could be. At least the seasons after the school arc went into the more darker route, it was just as lackluster in the theming department.

There were some good scenes, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes, they just felt… off… I can’t explain it, but that’s how it felt to me.

Hearing this story from Taiyang, how a single stupid decision could cost lives… It scared me…

What if this wasn’t a test? But a real life danger scenario? What if instead of me, they got a literal goofball who thought he was immortal?

What would the students here do? Hell, what would I do?

If I was given a direct order to not harm the civilian, that limits my options. And I’m sure explaining shit to the braindead civilian would be worthless since by tomorrow, he’ll be back to doing stupid shit.

Stupid shit that could cost him his life, and of those protecting him…

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. A catch-22 that juggles the lives of those involved.

A very scary scenario to be in.

I guess this is why Taiyang wanted me to be as annoying as possible, to give the students here a bit of experience on what to do with little shits like those that require protecting. It may not be commonplace, but there are bound to be some people that deserves to be removed from the gene pool for fucking around and finding out.

Well, if he wanted me to be annoying, let’s up the level, shall we? Taiyang wants the students to know how to deal with a situation like this, I’ll be sure to be as much of a pain in the ass like Yang is during her period... Don’t let her hear me say that. I don’t want to get pounded into the next life.