LDQ Vol. 7 pt. 9 (Patreon)

I might have gotten distracted after the tea party, and it was the sort of distraction that led to the situation I woke up in the next day.

“We need a bigger bed,” I groaned, unable to move from the mountain of flesh and limbs piled on top of me.

Vala, Window, Delphi, Lavi, Cami, Clawdia, Honey, Chloe, Claire, Mariet, Valkyria, Eliza—they were all on top of me, naked. The bed was not big enough for that many people, and I was at the center of it, so I had at least one limb from each of my wives sprawled out across me.

Delphi was probably touching me the least, and also in the most comfortable way. While everybody else was on the bed a bit more normally, for as normal as they could get in such a cramped situation, Delphi was the one who spread herself out horizontally across the back of the bed, lining herself up so that her breasts pressed against the top of my head.

Between my legs were Cami and Mariet who were mostly cuddling with each other while using my crotch as a shared pillow.

Actually, Lavi was probably touching me the least. She was on the edge of the bed, worryingly close to it to the point that I worried about her rolling off, and all she did was hold pinkies with me. It was hard to blame her for that, though, considering that Honey was between her and me… and also spread out over my arm, upside down with her feet resting on top of Delphi, and her head down by my own feet. How she ended up in that position considering she was flipped the other way around before I fell asleep, I had no idea.

Then there were Valkyria and Eliza. Valkyria took up the side opposite of where Honey and Lavi were, and she was also only using my other arm as a pillow rather than do anything crazy. Eliza, though, was back in her compact form and sleeping on top of Valkyria while using the other’s breasts as a pillow, her small arm reaching over to drape over my neck.

And then we had Clawdia. Clawdia, in a very catlike way, was simply curled up on top of my chest to dominate that space for herself. She might have been pretty peaceful in the moment, but she woke me up several times throughout the night by moving around in her sleep, bending and twisting her spine in ways that were actually kind of terrifying as she tried out all sorts of strange sleeping positions.

My body was already basically completely covered up at that point, but it only got even more complicated from there.

There were still Vala, Window, Chloe, and Claire.

Chloe was completely wrapped around my right leg, using both her arms and legs to cuddle it against her, while using my thigh as her pillow.

Claire did something similar with my left leg, but her breasts were large enough to basically wrap around my leg as well, propping it up a bit which made it harder for her to use my other thigh as a pillow.

Window—well, Window had to revert to her informational status window form just so that there would be enough space for her on the other side of Valkyria and Eliza. She also shrunk her body down enough so that it would fit inside of my hand, basically using my palm as a bed for her rectangular form to sleep on.

And finally, there was Vala.

Vala was…

I had no idea.

She wasn’t on the bed, but I knew she fell asleep with us. She was also the kind of woman who would absolutely not wake up before everybody else unless there was something serious going on. But no matter where I checked on the bed, she wasn’t there.

Vala was missing and I had no idea where she might—

“No! I was right there! You—a-ah, crap, gotta be quiet,” Vala shouted out, making everybody move around a bit in response, but they all stayed asleep.

Now, because moving from my situation was clearly impossible, I came up with an idea to do something else seeing as how I was basically a god.

I created a clone of myself.

It was strange having two bodies but only one consciousness. I could see, sense, and feel from both bodies at once. More importantly, I walked over to where I heard the noise from and saw Vala on the ground in front of the bed, on her back, playing her usual kart racing game by holding the handheld console right above her face.

She was also naked still, but her long hair was somehow perfectly positioned to cover up all the most important bits.

Well, every single inch of her body was the most important bit to me, but her hair covered up the parts that a politician would complain about.

“Oh, mornin’,” Vala said with a hushed voice, looking up at me. “Sorry, did I wake you… up. You—you uh…” Her face turned pure red as she looked up at me. That was when I realized she wasn’t looking up at my face, but at something that was proudly pointing out and casting a shadow over her face due to the sun coming in from the skylight above. “You—h-heh… you really are… up… aren’t you?”

Since I was naked when I created my clone, my clone was naked as well. “Between it being the morning, the sight on the bed, and getting to look at you, could you expect anything else?” I yawned and stretched my arms above my head after that, causing the shadow to bounce around on her face which made her blush even more.

“That’s… that’s not just a legendary two-handed staff… that’s more like… it’s too big to be called a sword. Massive, thick, heavy… far too rough… it’s more like a heap of raw—”

“Are you making a reference to something?”

“Yeh.”

“Sorry, but I’m not getting it.”

“That’s okay. It was either make a reference I knew you probably wouldn’t get, or kneel before it and start to pray.”

“Why didn’t you choose the second one?”

“Because if I do it, and then you unlock the nun waifu later, and she wants to do something like that, it would take away from the impact since I already did it first. I have to leave some character traits and quirks for everybody else.”

“Fair enough.” I then crouched down, standing behind her head, causing the shadow’s source to basically dangle right over her face which managed to intensify her blush even more. “I’m surprised you’re not in bed cuddling still.”

Vala gulped and tried to look away, but all she did was subtly follow its movements by tilting her head in whichever direction it swayed. “Y-yeah… uh… I umm…”

“Something wrong?”

“I’m just… really… really… distracted.”

“Huh. Wonder what could be distracting you.”

“H-heh… I—I think you know what.”

“Existential dread?”

“More… more like existential need…”

“Need for what, Vala?”

“Don’t—don’t say my name right now… it’ll make me—”

“Make you what?”

Vala bit her lip for a few moments before closing her eyes, parting her lips, and slightly sticking her tongue out. “Dr-Drake… I—”

I snapped my fingers so that my second body would be wearing some pants. “As tempted as I am, I have to go check on the new tower, and then we have to go to the beach. I told Luca we’d get ready to go over as soon as we’re up, and if we start doing that, I can’t trust myself not to make her wait longer than I want to.”

“You… you being a good dad only makes me want it even more…”

“Well, I could abuse my cloning power here.”

“Cloning?” Vala finally sat up and looked over at the bed, noticing that I was still on it underneath the pile of wives. “Wo-woah… wait. If… if you can clone yourself… then…” Once again, her cheeks took on the color of a tomato, her ears twitched, and her tail excitedly swished around. “We could… have a lot of fun with that…”

“We’ll have to experiment with everything that can be done with me cloning myself. So, should I make another copy of myself to stay here with you?”

Vala’s expression changed a good few times after hearing my question, her face making it clear there was some sort of battle waging on within her mind. Ultimately, though, she sighed and shook her head. “N-no. As much as I want it… I got up early so that I could grind the new battle pass before going out to the beach. There’s no way I’ll be able to grind as much as I want if we do lewd things.”

“So that’s why you’re up.”

“Y-yeh.”

“Though, that just leaves me with the question of why you didn’t stay in the bed. I figured you would be happily gaming on top of somebody.”

“That’s because it’s way too hot,” Vala said with a straight, serious face. “A giant cuddle puddle like that? That’s too much body heat being generated even for me.”

“Oh. That was why I disabled my ability to feel body heat from others before falling asleep last night. It would’ve been too hot to sleep otherwise.”

“You—you can do that?”

“You can’t?”

“Well… I could, I just didn’t think of it. My mind is all about vidya, you see.”

“I’m aware. Well, I’ll leave you to your grinding. I’ve got to go check on the new tower and gather Luca.”

“Wai-wait!”

“Yeah?”

Vala looked down before tugging on my arm. “If… if you’re just making clones of yourself left and right now… could—could you make a clone to leave here for me to sit in the lap of while grinding? If my options are game alone or game while cuddling, I’m always gonna choose the latter…”

With the snap of my fingers, I created a third copy of myself which I sat against the front of the bed before pulling Vala onto its—his—my? Figuring out how to refer to my copies was pretty confusing. I pulled Vala onto my third copy’s lap and wrapped my arms around her waist. “This good enough?”

“Yeh… thanks. Have—have I mentioned that you’re the best heckin’ husbando ever?”

“A few times, I think.”

“That’s nowhere near enough.”

“Then feel free to tell my copy while I’m gone. I’m still in control of all my copies and conscious of them, so you can keep, you know, talking to me if you want.”

“Woah… does this mean that you’ve evolved into a hivemind husbando? Best heckin’ hivemind husbando ever?”

“Maybe, but don’t get used to it. The more copies I make… the weirder this is. I’m seeing out of six eyes and feeling the sensations of three different bodies all at once. I’m already starting to mix up which body is feeling what.”

“It’s okay. Hivemind husbando can only be for bedroom experiments and plot convenience, not a constant thing.”

“Also, before I go, I’ve got a new, special technique to try against you.”

“A special technique? Like wha—”

Using my second body, I leaned forward and kissed her forehead at the same time as kissing the back of her head with my third body. “The double kiss technique.”

Vala giggled and smiled from ear to ear. That was a sight I could never possibly get tired of no matter how many times I saw it.

And with that, I left so that I could go and check on the new tower. Well, part of me left. One of me left. I was still there in the room under a pile of all my wives with one body while cuddling and watching Vala game with my other body, but my temporarily main body, which was my second body and the original clone, went outside to go and check on the tower.

Things really got confusing when working with multiple bodies while only having one consciousness. It was even stranger when considering that I could think with each mind at the sight time. Feeling, seeing, thinking, talking, with three bodies separately, yet together—the more I tried to think about it, the more confusing it got.

What I realized was that the best way to be a hivemind was to just… not think about it—was to just go with the flow.

So I flowed my way over to the new tower.

And that was when I found Luca sitting at a small table with Tabitha the beaver sitting across from her, listening to whatever it was Luca was talking to her about.

“Morning,” I said to the two of them.

“Morning, Papa Number Two!” Luca replied.

“Papa Number Two?”

“Yeah, because you’re the copy!”

“You know it’s still me in here, right? You can just call me Papa.”

“But that’s boring!”

“Also, how’d you even know about the cloning?”

“Because I know everything, mwahaha.”

“As to be expected of my daughter. So, what are you two talking about?”

Luca looked at Tabitha and nodded, prompting the beaver to return underground with the rest of her subordinates. “I told her what kind of swimsuit I want! She said she’d make one for me and have it done before we leave.”

“The construction beaver forewoman returned underground so that she could make a swimming suit for a young girl after having constructed a tower for rams. Makes sense to me.”

Luca nodded a couple of times. “Yep, yep!”

“Well, since you’re here, want to have the honors of unveiling the tower?”

“Sure!”

With that, Luca and I walked around to the front of the tower. Though, considering that the tower was still covered up by a giant sheet, we couldn’t be a hundred percent sure that we were actually in front of it.

But we probably were.

As for Luca, she looked up at me and asked, “Ready, Papa Number Two?”

“Ready, Luca,” I answered.

“Okie dokie!” Luca raised her right hand up and snapped her fingers in the same way that I did, prompting the sheet covering up the tower to vanish and reveal what was hidden underneath it.

The tower looked like a low-budget knight’s tower. It reminded me of Delphi’s in how her tower was very much the definition of a noble—or well, holy knight’s tower, but her tower was very bright, made of metal and stone, and professional looking.

This new tower looked like an attempt at cosplaying Delphi’s tower with minimal budget, instead only being made out of wood and lacking some of the more holy aesthetics. It still looked somewhat knightly, though, and even came with a small stable next to it. There was also plenty of hale covered up the ground all around the tower.

Had I not known to expect rams, I would have expected horses.

But horses they were not.

Rams they were.

The large, wooden doors to the tower opened up, allowing those within to come charging out.

Now, given that the description for the tower talked about rams charging headfirst into enemies, I expected them to have some pretty big horns. Instead… their horns were actually pretty small.

Also.

Each ram had a giant lance strapped to their side, sticking out far in front of them.

“Oh, I get it,” Luca said. “They’re like knights with lances!”

The ram in the front, who had the largest horns of them all, walked straight up to me before bowing her head and lifting one of her front legs.

“Nice to meet you, too,” I said, giving her a pat on her head between her horns, prompting her to nuzzle her head up against my hand.

“I’m surprised you’re not going crazy over the fluff, Papa Number Two,” Luca said.

“I think my mind is a bit overwhelmed at the moment to obsess over fluff. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’m going to harass them and make them cuddle with me later.”

“Phew, good. I woulda been worried you’re not the real Papa Number Two if you didn’t get weird over fluff.”

“I’m not sure how to feel about my own daughter calling me out like—”

I felt it.

I felt her.

Staring, glaring, into the back of my head.

The Fluff.

I turned around only to see The Fluff standing near the tree line with a knife held in her mouth by the handle. Slowly, she slipped behind the tree next to her until I could no longer see her nor the knife… but she underestimated the size of the tree, and/or herself, because her backing up just made her back half stick out from behind the tree.

“P-Papa Number Two,” Luca said, “it’s… it’s been over four hundred pages since your pet sheep was last referenced… I—I think she might be jealous.”

Before I could say anything, the leader of the rams walked in front of me, rubbed the side of her head up against my abdomen, and then… smugly looked out toward the trees where The Fluff was hiding.

I needed all of my brains in one place to process whether I might be in danger or not for getting a new tower of fluffy rams while not spending enough time with my pet, fluffy sheep. There was also the fact that The Fluff had a knife and the ram’s leader was looking at her with such a smug expression that it felt like she was challenging her.

Wait.

A fluffy sheep with a knife.

A fluffy ram with a lance.

Were… they going to fight over me?

Were two living, sentient fluffs going to fight over me?!

“Luca,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulder.

“Since Mama isn’t here to say it,” Luca said, “oh no.”

“This might just be the best day ever.”