EIGHTY-NINE: Forty Pineapples, pt. 2 (Patreon)

[A/N: Happy belated National Bunny Day to my fellow United-Statesians! And thanks to Carat for pointing out that it was upon us. I'm sorry I couldn't post an extra chapter in its honor. My backlog is too thin for that at the moment.  But I am releasing what may very well be the longest chapter in the book thus far.

Please enjoy the next 13,000 chaotic words of Kon's party at a savory pace and with a beverage of your choice. The following post contains all the character notes.]


**************


The party did pick up pace after that. The sun set. More guests arrived. Delivery people and drones brought snacks. The projection screen in the middle of the living room switched to famous superhero fight footage, and music started to play.

Kon put caution tape over two of the bedroom doors, but he gave everyone free access to the rest of the apartment. He might have been regretting that decision, since his parents’ king sized mattress was being used for random power demonstrations in the living room. Half the girls present were standing on it at the moment, trying to pep talk their admissions group’s Object Shaper into lifting it up like a flying carpet. He was eager to oblige, but in over his head. So far he’d only managed to lift one half or another of the mattress at a time, and the girls were falling all over each other and laughing.

Alden was hanging out in the kitchen, where the other partygoers were too distracted by food and adding nasty things to Extra Spicy Bonding Potion 2.0 (no broken glass edition) to bother with more than small talk. About an hour in, he was sitting at the table by the window, having a strange but not terrible conversation with a Shaper of Life named Jupiter, who was really into the historic value of Kon’s family’s apartment.

“Some old guy designed this tower in the late 1900’s,” she said, wafting purple polished fingernails over a fried crab wonton to cool it off. “And he was so upset that the future had come and it didn’t look like the future he had imagined. So instead of building something contemporary, he flashed back to the past and built this place. It’s the only Googie-style skyscraper on the island. You need to make sure to take a good look at it when you leave. It looks great at night. It’s got these impractical spikes sticking up from the roof and the big neon Nilama sign. But it’s ancient, and it doesn’t really hold enough people to justify its footprint for a great neighborhood like this. They’re definitely going to tear it down sooner rather than later. Oh, hello! Kon’s brother!”

<<I have a name. It’s Lexi,>> he said in Russian as he stepped over a crushed chip. He was wearing a gray sweater with straggly pieces of yarn hanging from the hem and cuffs, and his dark hair looked about like you’d expect for someone who’d been out boating in high winds.

<<I’m Jupiter! We’re all glad you didn’t drown,>> she responded in Spanish. <<This is Alden. He’s not from Anesidora, so I’m making sure he knows important things. Be really nice to him okay?>>

“We’re actually going to be roommates,” Alden said.

At the same time Lexi, asked, “Why does he need me to be nice to him?”

Jupiter fixed Lexi with a look Alden couldn’t decipher at all. Her hazel eyes were wide, her lips were pursed, and she kept bobbing her head up and down in time to some unheard rhythm.

“Are you trying to mental text?” Lexi asked after watching this strange behavior for almost a full minute. “I only got six disconnected words. If you want to talk about him behind his back, you’re just going to have to use your fingers.”

“Haha!” Jupiter said nervously. She waved a hand at Alden. “We’re not talking about you.”

She then proceeded to air text Lexi.

[People are talking about me behind my back right in front of my face,] Alden reported to Boe. He felt more curious than offended at this point. [Bets on what it’s about?]

[If you’d brought forty pineapples like I suggested, they would forget everything else about you.]

“Yeah,” said Lexi to Jupiter. “I know. Thanks for the warning.”

[There’s a warning about me.]

Jupiter grabbed another wonton and left. Lexi was staring at the sign beside the blender that said, “Fill me up. I’m hungry!”

“What is this?” he asked in a disgusted voice. “It smells like chili sauce and toilet bowl cleaner.”

“You should smell the rest of it,” Alden said. “It’s in the fridge in a punch bowl.”

“Why?”

“We’re going to be forced to drink it later. For social reasons.”

“I should have known it was one of the weird parties when that guy with the mohawk refused to let me into my own house until I guessed the ‘secret password.’”

So that’s how Kon got Jeffy to stop challenging every other Brute here to squeeze his hand as hard as they could.

“I should just sleep on the boat,” Lexi murmured as he looked at the chunky, separated contents of the punchbowl in the fridge.

“Kon has plans for the two of you. They sound good.”

Kon and Lexi’s parents had a call scheduled for tonight from Artona II. It had been pre-planned because the cost of making daily phone calls was impractical and because if one or both of the brothers had failed to get into the hero track, this would be the day when they expected to receive an admissions notice from the sciences program. Their parents were expecting to hear their news and congratulate them. Kon wanted them both to be in their school uniforms surrounded by new classmates.

This was such an inescapably sweet idea that Alden was now committed to staying for at least two more hours so that he could put on a paper hat and wave with everyone else at the designated time.

“I know,” said Lexi. “I’m going to go to my room and finish packing. You’re moving into the dorms tomorrow, too, aren’t you?”

“Yep. I’m packed. I’ll be hauling all my stuff over in the morning. By the way…” Alden scooped some more hummus onto his plate, trying to think of how to phrase a criticism without making Lexi angry. “Springing Lute Velra on me because you thought I would be too ignorant to know about his family was maybe not the most neighborly thing for a new roommate to do.”

Lexi looked around with raised eyebrows. “You’re the one who asked to stay with me. If you’ve got a problem, get another room.”

“I don’t have a problem with Lute. We’re partners in Convo IV. It’s a neutral relationship. But you deliberately checked to make sure I was still in intake and brand new to the island before you agreed to room with me.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m just saying that when you happen to know some Anesidoran social dynamic that’s going to affect me and you deliberately hide it…well, Lute himself was much cooler than you. He actually asked if I minded rooming with someone that ninety percent of the school seems to hate.”

“He needs help moving his concert harp tomorrow if you want to thank him for it,” Lexi said in a flat voice. “Fine. I will not deliberately hide ‘Anesidoran social dynamics’ from you. There’s nothing wrong with Lute Velra. Everyone who enjoyed bullying him in middle school is just excited to relive the experience now that his family has done something insane enough to give them an excuse to start back up.”

“Thanks.”

Lexi grabbed a bottle of plain club soda. He looked around for a bottle opener and when he couldn’t find it, he lifted his sweater and removed his whip from where he had it belted around his waist. The thin chain, in its shortened form, started to glow. Lexi flicked his wrist. The tip of the chain wrapped around the throat of the bottle, and then melted through, neatly cutting the glass.

Lexi poured the contents into a plastic cup.

“That is a very superhuman way to access your beverage.”

“You thought it was some kind of a torture device, didn’t you?” Lexi said, tossing his bottle at the recycling box in the corner and ringing it dead center.

Alden stared at the whip as the Meister hid it beneath his sweater again.

“No? It seemed strong and versatile during our combat assessment. The fact that you have mental control over its motion is probably going to be a huge advantage. I thought it was a nuanced weapon.”

Lexi straightened up and faced him. He didn’t look happy, but he did look not ill-tempered for the first time since he’d entered the kitchen. He pointed at Alden. “Finally,” he said. “Thank you. Everyone else must have their heads so far up their asses that they can’t see Nautilus Needle.”

He was referring to the tallest skyscraper on Anesidora.

“Writher is a puncturing, cutting, cauterizing, and control tool. I don’t know whether I should blame Kon for making stupid BDSM jokes every time I pull it out or that Wright who brought an actual torture device to trials. Of course the gymsuits hurt a lot when I use it in certain ways! They hurt when everyone else uses their weapons on you, too! Just because I picked this instead of some brainless stabbing implement, it doesn’t mean I’m a sadist.”

He does have a certain rage and intensity on his face when he’s hitting people with it that probably contributes to that impression.

It didn’t seem necessary to mention that.

“There you are!” Kon jogged into the kitchen holding a lumpy pillowcase. He dumped its contents out on the floor. It looked like it might once have been a record player.

Lexi stared. “Is that Grandpa’s—?”

“No,” said Kon. “Shhhh..it’s fine. I’m almost positive I swept up all the little broken bits. Guard the door so nobody interrupts me. You know the spell won’t repair its own damage if I get hit mid-cast. Hi, Alden! Stay there and don’t throw stuff at me or this while I fix it.”

He was frantically nudging every last piece of the broken player into a pile. “Dad loves this thing. It’s lucky I heard the crash as soon as it happened.”

“Why didn’t you put it in Irina’s room?” Lexi went over to stand in front of the door.

“I did. A couple of our new schoolmates ignored my caution tape.”

“To do something that involved turning a record player into rubble?”

“It’s fine. There are some large scratches and dents on the floor, but I think I’m almost out of spell uses for the night, so I had to pick… Iri would like a new rug. A turtle-shaped one! She’s into turtles right now. And if she doesn’t tell Mom, I’ll buy her a real turtle. Two turtles. I will officiate a turtle marriage for her if she wants.”

“Yes,” Lexi said in a toneless voice. “Our mother will never think to look under the brand new rug her son bought out of the goodness of his heart right after inviting several dozen strangers into the house.”

“I do things out of the goodness of my heart all the time!”

“Buying household furnishings?”

“Shut up. I’m dolphining.”

That’s never going to stop being cool, thought Alden, watching in silence as all the broken pieces were surrounded by Kon’s glittering cloud of magic, and they miraculously became a vintage record player again.

Kon frantically checked it all over, then he set it down and collapsed onto his back with a relieved sigh. “Thanks to every soul from here to the last moon of Vevezeck. It’s all there.”

He sprang up. “I’ll go put this back and put up more caution tape.”

“Let me,” Lexi said, taking the player. “I don’t want people doing perverted things in our sister’s room.”

“It was a Shaper and a Brute trying telekinesis versus superpowered stomp. It was stupid, not perverted.”

“I’ll throw them out for being stupid then.”

“Ummmm…” Kon clasped his hands behind his neck and stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah. That’s fair. I’ll toss them myself. Don’t worry about it. Hey, did you and Haoyu get some good fireworks?”

“No.”

“Really? The Wrights are usually so easy to persuade. Well, for most people…”

“We didn’t talk to any Wrights.”

“I thought you guys were going out to see the barges they’re setting up for Diwali?”

Just then Lexi stepped aside, and a boy with equally wind-scrambled hair and dark brown eyes appeared. Alden had seen his third roommate before and heard a few things about him—mostly that he was going for a Dura Brute hybrid build like his hero parents and that he’d managed to get into the program despite a rough start on the combat assessment.

But they’d never spoken.

Haoyu was wearing a half-unzipped windbreaker over a shirt with a familiar logo on it.

“I go to that gym, too!”

“So you are definitely a rich kid,” Kon whispered, grinning at him. “We have a decent gym at school, you know.”

“I don’t think you can be called a rich kid if you’ve only had access to money for two months,” Alden protested.

Haoyu turned toward him curiously. “The membership was my affixation present.”

“He got a Shit Affixation present even though he’s still fifteen,” Kon informed Alden. “Because his parents are both S’s, and he only got A.”

Lexi glared at him. “Really?”

Konstantin took a step back and held his hands up. “I’m not picking on you two. Someone mentioned Shit Birthday presents earlier and our new citizens thought we were a bunch of silverspooners who complained about luxury gifts. I’m educating, not insulting.”

“It was a disappointment.” Haoyu sounded completely unbothered by Kon bringing it up, though. He stepped over toward Alden and held out a hand. His name tag popped up without him gesturing, so he obviously had some mental control over his interface already.

[Haoyu Zhang-Demir]

[Preferred: Haoyu]

[Year 1 at Celena North High School]

[Please contact my parents through their agents at Pacific Pinnacle Representation, not through me.]

“It’s very nice to meet you,” he said earnestly while Alden stood and leaned over a platter full of baklava to shake his hand. “Lexi says you have a cat. I don’t mind watching him or her for you when you’re away on summons.”

“Victor’s a dude. He’s going on a vacation to visit one of my friends while I get settled into the dorms, but he’ll be coming back,” said Alden. “And thanks! I do have six months off for now, though.”

Haoyu nodded. “For a Rabbit, balancing summons with a career will be hard. If you need advice, you can talk to my mother. She was already established when she started receiving more frequent missions from the Artonans, but she’ll know more than most people.”

This is amazing, thought Alden, beaming at the back of Haoyu’s head as the other boy turned around to speak to Kon. One of them is polite, mature, and thoughtful. Not angry or exhausting at all.

Haoyu was officially his favorite roommate after only a few sentences.

“We didn’t go see the fireworks barges. We went to Matadero,” he was telling Kon.

Matadero? Alden was startled. People can just go there?

It was the off-shore facility where the demon fight took place.

Kon gave his brother a look. “You guys went all the way to The Slaughterhouse? In your boat on rough water? And you’re worried about what our parents are going to say to me about some scratches on the floor?”

Lexi shrugged. “We’re Avowed now. If the boat capsized we could just ET ourselves back.”

“Emergency teleporting only works if you’re conscious to initiate it,” Kon grumbled. “I’m not sure if I’m mad you went or mad you didn’t take me. What did it look like?”

“You’ve seen pictures.”

“It was interesting,” Haoyu said. “We only got close enough to see it well through binoculars. Our interfaces warned us not to go any farther, and SkySea Guard is patrolling out there.”

“I’d probably have been turned away before I could even spot it if Haoyu wasn’t with me.”

Haoyu shrugged.

“Oh. That’s true…” Kon looked at Haoyu. “I haven’t been keeping track this time. Is it your mom or your dad?”

“It’s Battle Group 3’s turn, so it’s dad. We had dim sum together a couple of nights ago before he headed over.”

Alden watched the other three boys from his spot by the food table, trying to follow the discussion. “Do the people participating in the demon fight go to Matadero early?” he asked. “I thought it was still a pretty long time until the execution.”

They all looked at him.

“Official Demon Day is probably a fake date,” Kon answered. “Everyone knows it, but it feels better to have a mark on the calendar.”

Haoyu nodded. “It’s an added layer of security. Most of the people going to Matadero stay in residence there for a few weeks. My parents can’t tell me much, but they say they spend a lot of time talking about strategies and getting to know the new members of their group.”

“And it’s an open secret that one of the university combat gyms is always ‘closed for repairs’ during demon season so that Avowed working on Matadero can teleport in and out to practice more dangerous skills,” Kon added. “It’s usually Li Jean because their hero college has the largest training space.”

“The official date is when they announce that it’s over and how it went,” said Lexi. “Not necessarily when the fight will actually happen.”

Running into points of ignorance that supposedly “everyone” knew about was getting tiring. Alden assumed it would be the same if he moved to any other foreign country, but he hoped he’d find the limits of outsider inexperience soon and start feeling like he was actually getting the subtext of casual conversations again.

“Got it,” he said. “Just curious.”

“Lexi and I were talking about going back soon. The weekend after next maybe. You can come with us if you want to see it,” Haoyu offered.

Lexi and Kon both made sounds of protest

“I don’t want to be a water taxi!”

“You should offer to take me, too! I’m your brother.”

Haoyu blinked at Lexi. “If we’re going anyway, it would be fun to take Alden. And Vandy might like to be invited, too? Since her mom’s in residence this time.”

“Hellooo?” said Kon, waving his hands in Lexi’s face.

Lexi’s arms tightened on the record player and he shot a look at Alden before sighing. “You too?” he said to Haoyu. “Yeah. Maybe we can do that.”

“Don’t put yourself out or anything,” Alden said.

He wasn’t sure he even wanted to see Matadero. But since Haoyu was shaping up to be his good roommate, he wasn’t going to outright reject his idea.

The volume of the music in the living room suddenly shot through the roof, and the sound of a K-pop group backed by a strong bass beat made everything on the table and countertops vibrate. Alden and Haoyu slapped their hands to their ears, and Lexi’s shoulders drew up like he was trying to retract his head into his spine.

“How did they find the remote?!” Kon screamed before racing out of the room.

Astrid skidded past Lexi into the kitchen a second later, her socks slipping against the floor. Rebecca and another girl were hot on her heels. “Alden!” she shouted three inches from his face while he stared at her eyebrow ring. “Alden! Raccoons! Have you ever seen real raccoons?!”

Hands still clutched to his head, he nodded. “Yeah! We have raccoons in Chicago.”

“Are they rabid?! Are they cute?! Were you scared? Have you ever pet one?!”

“Probably some of them! Yes! No! And no!”

The music cut off suddenly.

“Hell yes, my supersisters!” Astrid yelled, throwing her hands up to high five her friends. “I interviewed someone about dangerous wildlife! That’s BINGO!”

*******

Astrid threw hummus in the blender and cackled like a witch. Rebecca asked Alden how long he’d been going out with Maricel. A girl named Njeri told him he should come with her and her friends to join the school’s ice hockey club after gym class on Monday.

Jupiter wandered into the kitchen, told everyone to be nice to him, then wandered back out with her cheeks stuffed with wontons.

Before Alden could finish completely abolishing the rumor about Maricel or decide what to do about the ice hockey invitation, Jeffy appeared carrying a familiar green plaid shirt.

“I brought this to give back to you!”

Alden assumed he was the target of that announcement, even though Jeffy’s eyes were fixed on the girls.

“You know I’ve been living in the building beside yours all this time, don’t you?” Alden asked, reaching for the shirt before one of its trailing sleeves could get hummused. “You could have just brought it over anytime instead of carrying it all this way. Or we’ll be on campus together tomorrow night?”

“I’m Jeffy,” he said, ignoring Alden in favor of ogling Astrid.

“I know! We met earlier! Love the hair. Have you properly greeted Lord Blender?”

“You can cook?” Jeffy asked, sniffing the blender. “That’s cool! It smells great.”

All three girls, Alden, and a Meister standing in the corner slicing cheese into shapes with his knife stared at the Aqua Brute.

Astrid looked from the blender to Jeffy then down at her own cleavage and back at Jeffy.

“I can cook,” she said, throwing her shoulders back and smiling at him. “You want some?”

“Don’t,” Alden whispered. It was too cruel.

Rebecca’s hand shot up to cover his mouth. Just a little too much force there, Brute girl, he thought as his head banged lightly against the cabinet behind him.

He wondered how many people wound up injured by brand new Avowed getting relaxed about their powers before they really should have been.

Astrid was pouring a dastardly quantity of her latest concoction into a cup.

Njeri, giggling, disappeared into the living room. Heads started popping around the kitchen door a moment later. Everyone was snickering and shushing each other.

“Bottoms up,” Astrid said passing Jeffy the cup with that same innocent smile on her face.

“Uh…what’s this drink called?” He looked uncertain.

“I made it up. So it doesn’t have a name yet. You can name it after you taste it!”

Alden shook his head. If Jeffy had been looking at him instead of at Astrid, he might have saved himself.

Of course he wasn’t.

Jeffy took a big gulp and then immediately started to choke.

“Now, now!” said Rebecca, lowering her hand from Alden’s face and shoving on the bottom of the cup as Jeffy tried to put it down. “That’s just the hot sauce tricking your tongue. The second sip is going to be way better!”

“DRINK IT, YOU COWARD!” a guy bellowed from the watching group.

“Drink it, drink it,” someone else started chanting from the back of the pack.

“Don’t give in to peer pressure,” said Alden. “A whole cup of that shit’s going to destroy your digestive tract.”

One of the larger hot sauce bottles they’d poured in there had had a coffin on the label.

“Who is that killjoy!?”

Alden flipped off the person who’d just shouted.

“BE A HERO!”

“I am a hero!” shouted Jeffy, punching a fist into the air. His eyes and nose were pouring. Pinkish brown blender potion was oozing down his chin.

He started to chug it and gag on it at the same time.

Oh well. Now I have a clear conscience. Alden gave in and applauded with everyone else.

[Just risked my future popularity to save a stranger I don’t really like,] he reported to Boe while Jeffy coughed and wheezed over the sink and Astrid patted him on the back. [Warned him off of a blender full of hot sauce, smoked oysters, cherry syrup, and hummus. So put that on your to-do list.]

There was a long delay before Boe’s reply. [That one doesn’t count.]

[Sure it does. Now you have to save an idiot from the error of his own ways, too. It’s fine if you fail. I did.]

[Get puked on, send me a picture, and we’ll agree to call it an actual Savior Alden incident.]

So not worth it.

People were surrounding him and the blender. He shoved his way through the circle and out of the kitchen before they could get any ideas about him being a volunteer for an encore.

He headed down the hallway and stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for whoever was in there to finish up. He waited. And waited.

Lexi, exiting one of the bedrooms by ducking between ribbons of caution tape, spotted him there.

“You’re going to want to use the one in my parents’ room. Some girl’s been crying in this one for twenty minutes, and she’s not emerging no matter what I say.”

“Oh.” Alden looked at the door. There were marks on the frame, with heights and ages for Lexi, Kon, and their little sister. She was four, if her last mark was up to date.

Lexi started to walk past him, then stopped suddenly. He sighed.

“Hey. Anesidora social dynamic for you, since you demanded it—there’s a group chat with a lot of the people here in it. They’ve been doing nothing in school for the past week except gossiping and getting to know each other if they didn’t already. All of you globies come up sometimes…mostly for obvious reasons. They think the Scottish boy’s accent is exotic and they can’t get enough of it.”

The local group chat wasn’t much of a surprise. And good for Finlay. “I heard him showing it off for people earlier.”

“Most of them are enchanted with him. He’s very strong for someone our age. Started with a little more than normal for an S, probably, and worked hard at it on top of that.” Lexi looked at Alden. “Your accent’s boring. But nothing else about you is. You’re kind of a hypocrite, aren’t you?”

Startled, Alden uncrossed his arms. “How am I a hypocrite?”

“You think I owe you a warning about a Velra and you don’t owe me one about everything you’ve got going on? Your reputation may not be toxic like Lute’s, but it’s going to be just as inconvenient. I’ve barely interacted with you, but four people, including my brother and my friend, have already scolded me for not being gentle with you.”

Alden opened his mouth, but he couldn’t come up with words to express the potent mix of embarrassment, disgust, and oh no he was suddenly experiencing.

“Be however you fucking like with me,” he finally said. “I don’t need special treatment. I’m not one of those goats that faint when people yell at them.”

Lexi squinted at him. “Is that a real animal or is it some American saying that makes no sense?”

“They’re real! I saw some on a farm when I was little. I don’t know how they work or why, but that’s not the point! The point is, I am not one of those goats. And you should be as ungentle around me as you want.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Just because I spent time on another world with some chaos in it, it doesn’t mean I need to be managed! By my fucking classmates! I just saw one of them drink homebrewed lava while the rest of them cheered. I am fine.”

Lexi smiled for the first time Alden had seen. It made him look shockingly Kon-ish. “You sound really fine. Also, you said that loud enough for some of the people here to hear you.”

Alden clenched his teeth.

“And for your information, since you want honesty, almost everyone is way more fascinated about you being orphaned by a supervillain of the twisted and evil variety. They’ve spent the past few days reading all about it.”

Oh. Body Drainer. That’s actually… that should have been obvious.

Moon Thegund was what was at the forefront of Alden’s mind. But this was a group full of freshly minted superhero school students. Half of them were probably getting excited about the opportunity to go into protector mode and the other half were probably trying to think of ways to ask him for gorey battle details without pissing off their own friends.

“I told Kon that he, at least, should know better. Nobody wants people to be extra nice to them because of things that happened when they were eight. But he liked hanging out with you the other day, and he gets caught up in group activities. That’s the gist of it. If you want to insert yourself into the secret Anesidoran social dynamic somehow and change it, go for it.”

Alden was conflicted.

On the one hand, everything Lexi had said was something that he was glad to have out in the open or that he agreed with. Even the hypocrisy accusation…was…

Totally fair.

Ugh. Shit.

But the Meister had such a cold way of dropping phrases that really shouldn’t be dropped at all—like “orphaned by a supervillain”—that it felt like they were having an argument.

“Thank you for telling me,” Alden said, resisting the urge to inject sarcasm into the words. “I appreciate it. And I’m sorry for complaining about Lute when I am just as inconvenient as him.”

“Okay,” Lexi said dispassionately.

Then he left.

Alden let himself slump against the wall. Well, that’s not really a big deal. Or big news. And people being nice to me for no reason is so much better than them being assho—

Lexi had stopped at the end of the hall. He turned around suddenly and came back. He stood a couple of feet away, and Alden braced for whatever else he’d thought of to say.

The other boy glared down at his own socks. “Haoyu thinks we should all get along if we share a suite,” he said grudgingly. “He was already talking about doing something with you and Lute anyway. I shouldn’t have implied that he was being like the others.”

Oh. Well, that was actually a relief. “He seems cool.”

“He’s too nice. He volunteers me for things.” Lexi grunted. “Have fun destroying my house with everyone else.”

He stalked away.

“I’ve barely left the snack table!” Alden called after him. “I’ve been cleaning up spills all night!”

This time Lexi kept walking.

Alden looked at the bathroom door again. I wonder if it’s…

[Hey,] he texted Maricel. [I haven’t seen you around in a while. Are you still at the party?]

She didn’t answer.

[If you decide you want company for the trip back to intake, let me know.]

That’s the right thing, isn’t it? It’s better than outright asking if she’s the crying person.

He didn’t want to insert himself where he wasn’t welcome. He waited until he was sure he wasn’t getting a reply, then he headed toward the other bathroom. Before he’d made it through the door, Jeffy ran past him, clutching his mouth with one hand and his stomach with the other.

Guess I don’t need to pee that bad after all.

********

“What I’m trying to tell you,” Alden said, raising his voice so that his chosen target could hear him over the beat of the music in the crowded living room, “is that you should just treat me normally. Or…however it is you treat everyone else.”

Jupiter’s arms were in the air over her head, and she was swaying in time to the music in a floppy kind of way that probably shouldn’t be called dancing.

“I promise I am already!” said Jupiter. She’d found glitter to apply to her face since the last time Alden had seen her. It was awfully slick looking. He thought she might have just smeared lip gloss all over herself. “I haven’t been talking about you at all!”

“No.” Alden didn’t know how to break through. “I’m saying it’s fine if you have been! I understand you’re trying to be considerate. Stop telling everyone here that they have to be nicer to me than they want to be, though! It’s unnecessary!”

Jupiter swayed so far to the left that Alden reached out reflexively to catch her in case she fell. She wobbled then popped back upright.

“Snake plants are the best!”

What in the…?

She was smiling at something behind him, and Alden turned to see a tall green-striped plant by the window wriggling in a very Jupiter-like way.

She is befriending vegetation.

“You’re…a unique person,” he said, giving up on getting his point across. “I’m glad you’re having fun.”

Blue light flashed across the ceiling as the fight scene on the screen changed. Alden wandered over to hover among a crowd of people who were discussing the battle between a Wright decked out in laser cannons she’d made herself and a small gang of non-Avowed criminals who’d somehow gotten their hands on Wright-made weapons of their own.

It was a cinematic battle. All of the ones that had played tonight were. Most day-to-day superhero work wasn’t so flashy. An Anesidora-trained S-rank chasing down some C-rank unregistered who’d been found out by their nosy neighbors wasn’t usually a major event.

But it’s the big flashy ones that make people think of you as a real superhero. Maybe Max is more right about battle theater than I want him to be.

The other B-rank was standing on the edge of the room, wearing a too-tight shirt Kon had loaned him. The one he’d come to the party in had been deemed cursed after a third incident involving a girl and a virgin strawberry daiquiri.

The group watching the television was trying to analyze the Wright’s weapons. Some of them sounded semi-knowledgable. Most sounded like they wished they were. One of the Brutes was arguing that lasers were “the same as cheating” for reasons so convoluted that Alden couldn’t follow them at all.

“Ooo…that’s going to leave a scar!” a guy called out as one of the Wright’s smaller lasers flashed.

<<She just severed his arm, Sanjay. It’s going to be a little worse than a scar. We don’t waste Healers on random bad guys, you know.>>

“Ohhhh right.”

“Any Healers will help injured Avowed first, local victims of the magic-caused event second, and then, if they have time, they’ll assist regular people on their waiting list,” Vandy told everyone.

Maricel’s roommate had been in the battle-discussion group for the whole party. The Sky Shaper was in the same dark blue pantsuit she’d worn to interviews. She’d chosen to start classes this week, and Alden had seen her a few times. She was one of those people who wore the full school uniform every day even though it wasn’t required.

She’s not completely stiff though.

Vandy’s hands, held down beside her legs, had been twitching back and forth for the past hour. She was directing a pair of paper airplanes overhead. Alden was sure she was doing it mostly for practice, but she also seemed to want everyone to enjoy them. Whenever one got swiped out of the air by a partier, she smiled and folded another.

“Armless gets a human surgeon if he survives,” another girl said.

“Did you get a Healer?”

At first, Alden didn’t realize he was being addressed. He was watching the Wright pursue the last runaway bad guy down a street. She shed her heavier weaponry, it teleported out of sight, and she went with pure strength for the final chase and grab.

“Hey, I asked you if you got a Healer?”

Alden looked around. To his surprise, the person speaking to him from the other side of the group was Winston Heelfeather. He’d noticed him lurking around the party, drifting after Finlay and glaring holes in the back of the more powerful speedster’s head.

“What?” Alden asked.

A few people were looking between the two of them now.

“Everyone’s saying you were part of some big deal hero/villain fight or something,” said Winston. He took a sip of his mocktail. “When you were a kid.”

Now it was more than a few people.

Why is he glaring at me?

Admittedly it was a half-powered glare compared to what Finlay had been getting all night, but it made a lot less sense. This is good for me anyway. Thanks for bringing it up so that I have an excuse to be visibly fine with it.

“They did take me to the House of Healing.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and smiled at Winston. “It wasn’t a Healer-class Avowed that helped me, though. It was the wizard who runs the Chicago House.”

His mother’s old boss. Rynez-yt. He’d only met her a couple of times before that night. She was a morose person with a dreadful bedside manner, but he’d been inclined to like her anyway because his mom did.

“I’d rather be healed by a human than an Artonan,” Winston spat.

Everyone in the group was looking at him instead of the screen now.

“That’s…a little xenophobic,” said Rebecca.

“It’s very xenophobic,” said Vandy, staring at Winston in shock. One of her airplanes crashed into the back of Mehdi’s gelled hair, and he grabbed it. He was watching the discussion with an unreadable expression.

“It’s also stupid,” said Alden. “When you’ve got shrapnel in your intestines, you’ll be really glad to see any kind of healer of any species.”

Everyone’s eyes were still on Winston. His ears were reddening.

“Yeah, yeah! Sorry I didn’t mean it like that. I was just running my mouth too fast.”

“You should apologize to Alden, too,” Vandy said.

Alden didn’t know whether Winston had meant it or not, but he was pretty sure the speedster hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Does he really want attention so much that he’s jealous of the variety I’m getting?

Well, whatever. I’m still going to use this for project Alden-is-not-a-poor-baby.

“Thanks, Vandy,” he said. “It’s fine, though. The Body Drainer incident was a long time ago. It’s not my favorite convo topic, but I don’t mind answering questions about it.”

Most of the eyes fixed on Winston turned back to him.

“What was it like?” Rebecca asked immediately.

“You had shrapnel in your intestines? Did it hurt?”

<<Sanjay, are you serious right now? You absolute—>>

“It hurt super bad,” said Alden. “And I lost a ton of blood. I would have died if not for one of the heroes on the scene.”

“Hannah Elber,” someone said. “I read about that.”

“She went missing last year.”

“The Gloom’s daughter.”

“Do you know the Gloom?” Mehdi asked.

“Not really.” The crowd had shifted so that Alden had to stand on his tiptoes if he wanted to see the other boy clearly. “I’ve only met her once, and it was just for a few minutes.”

“But what does shrapnel feel like?” Sanjay said, staring at Alden avidly.

“Sanjay!” Astrid entered the discussion by shouting from all the way across the room. “Monday in Combat class, we’ll ask the faculty to turn the gymsuits all the way up. Then we’ll take turns stabbing you in the guts. How does that sound?”

<<Can I help?>>

“It’s not combat class. It’s pre-combat class. Physical education and self defense, right?” a girl wearing a fiberoptic headband said nervously. “They’ll keep the suits powered down, won’t they?”

“You hope they will.”

“Oh don’t remind me about MPE,” Tuyet moaned from her seat on the sofa. “I’m so nervous about it.”

“What was the worst thing about being in a supervillain incident?”

Alden blinked at the Meister who’d asked. “My parents dying. And long-term tinnitus.”

“My dad has tinnitus from getting hit real bad by a Vocal!” Jupiter suddenly called from over by her plant friend. “Healers have trouble fixing that. Sometimes the magic repairs it, and sometimes it just doesn’t.”

Telling her dad to try to find a Healer as good as Rrorro didn’t seem like helpful advice, so Alden left it alone.

“Where in the intestines—?”

“If you’re that curious, I could show you my scar…”

Several people said “yes” or some version of “cool,” and nobody said “no.”

Pretty much the same as when I offered to show it to people in sixth grade homeroom, thought Alden, lifting up his sweater just enough to show off the whole scar without revealing the tattoo above it. Though I guess we’re all old enough now that nobody is going to say something dumb, like ‘I want one, too.’

“I want one, too,” Jeffy—fresh from his karmic bathroom experience—said a minute later after staring at Alden’s stomach.

Alden sighed.

Astrid, who was leaning really much too close to finish her own examination, popped up right. “I like it!” she announced.

“He has a nice stomach,” said Rebecca.

“It’s not bad at all,”Astrid agreed.

“Hey, I’ve got a nice stomach!” said Jeffy.

“We’ve all seen yours. Pretty average to be honest.”

“Jeffy got in!” someone yelled. A jacket flew through the room and slid down the screen.

Astrid turned back to Alden and narrowed her eyes. “Appeal or effort?”

He dropped his shirt.

“Both,” he confessed. “But mostly an alien plant-based diet for months and an overzealous healer. There’s only one point in Appeal.”

“You don’t have to admit to one,” she said, flapping her hand at him. “Most of us will pick up at least three or four before we graduate from uni anyway.”

“Beauty always sells,” said Mehdi. He’d gotten closer during the impromptu scar-viewing session. “You should have known he had one, Astrid. He’s a Rabbit. B-rank Rabbits always get a whole point in Appeal.”

He smiled at Alden. “Anesidoran social dynamic—”

Oh great. That’s going to be a thing every time someone talks to me for a while isn’t it?

He was going to have a long conversation with himself about not saying anything out loud ever again. Mental texting henceforth. With everyone.

“—nobody serious takes Appeal until they’re in third year. Or uni even. It just looks terrible on the application unless you’re doing it specifically for the empathy. So it’s really impressive that you managed to get into the program with that hanging over you on top of everything else.”

He was still smiling. He sounded friendly.

“Well, I’m glad to be here.”

“Yeah, I think the school needs some diversity,” said Mehdi. “About that skill you used in the combat assessment, how exactly does it—?”

Astrid gasped, and everyones’ heads jerked toward her.

Behind her head, the screen was showing a Brute righting an overturned rail car, but that didn’t seem dramatic enough to be the source of her surprise.

“Alden, no!” she said in horror, grabbing him by the shoulders and looking into his eyes. “How are you going to drink our potion if you’re vegetarian?! There’s a meatball in there!”

“And I blended a wonton,” said Jupiter, stroking the plant. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Can I be vegetarian, too?” Tuyet asked quietly.

“Vegan. It’s fine,” Alden said. “I’ll just hold the potion in my mouth for however long you guys think is fair and then spit it back out.”

Mehdi’s smile shifted to something lighter in a way Alden couldn’t put his finger on. “So your dietary ethics only forbid swallowing? That’s a new one.”

“I can’t let everyone suffer alone, can I?”

He was worried this might make the gremlin apoplectic. Alden hadn’t seriously tested its resolve on this matter since they’d had a two-hour long battle over a bag of shredded cheese back before he became an Avowed. It was one of his more humiliating moments as a human being, trying to trick his own brain by accidentally-on-purpose throwing value brand cheddar at his mouth and hoping it went in and all the way to his stomach.

But the whole reason for coming to this event was to try to establish himself as a real member of the class. It wasn’t going as badly as he’d worried. People were being weird, but almost nobody was being weird in a mean way.

And Gorgon could hold live flies in his mouth for extended periods of time, so it wasn’t impossible despite the gremlin trying to convince him it was.

Astrid patted him on the arms. “Two minutes counts as a drink! That should be fair!”

“That seems a little long—” Alden started to protest.

“Our first year bond grows stronger the longer you can withstand it,” Rebecca told him.

The music quieted. Lexi and Kon had just entered. Kon was carrying the world’s most heinous punchbowl carefully in both hands.

“It’s time,” he intoned, setting it on the coffee table. It was a red-brown soup with scum and floating chunks of fat from some ill advised dairy addition on top. Muddy opaque liquid made a middle layer, followed by a more translucent one, and then there was a solid two inches of sediment at the bottom of the bowl. “Just so everyone here knows, I’ve never forced anyone to do anything like this at one of my parties before. I thought that the karaoke was going to be enough of a bonding experience, but some of you—”

“It’s hero school,” said Astrid. “We have to be more epic.”

“If any of you slipped smuggled alcohol or actual potions in there, then I am going to kill you on Monday during gym,” Lexi said.

Haoyu was leaning over the bowl and poking curiously at a weird gray disc that might once have been a banana slice.

“Yes, thank you all,” said Kon. “And I tasted it a few minutes ago. To make sure there were no potions. It’s fine. Well…it’s definitely not fine. But there’s nothing magic in there. Or in the numerous pitchers of this stuff Astrid has spread around the kitchen for us. Since there’s so much, and I don’t want to try pouring it all down the sink, I think our drinking game should be more straightforward. Whoever drinks the most of it wins a prize.”

“Yay! What’s the prize?” Jupiter asked. “Can I have the—”

“Our mother likes that plant,” said Lexi. “Put it down.”

“The prize is a great one.” Kon looked around at them all. “Everyone here owes the winner one use of one of their magical talents…for nonhazardous, non-humiliating purposes.”

“There are over forty people here,” said Vandy, looking interested. “That’s a good prize.”

“A drink counts as one of these.” Kon pointed at a stack of tiny paper cups with pictures of sea turtles on them. Alden was guessing they were some kind of disposable medicine or potion cup, since they didn’t look big enough for anything else.

Kon looked over at him. “Also, Astrid, two minutes is really long for a single drink. If Alden’s determined enough, he might be at this for an hour. And I’m worried about the flesh peeling off his tongue.”

Oh wow how bad is this stuff?

“We can reduce it to one,” she said magnanimously. “Because he let me poke his scar.”

“Also nobody has to participate. You just lose your chance at the prize.”

“And our respect!” shouted the guy who was picking his jacket up off the floor.

“And his respect. Up to you.” Kon looked around. “Sound good to everybody?”

While a few people argued about whether potion pong would be better, an athletic girl with a short brown ponytail walked over to grab a cup. “I just want to know what everybody’s best talent is!”

She smiled confidently down at the punch bowl. She was wearing a green maxi dress and a teddybear purse. “Because I’m gonna win.”

She pointed at Alden. “You’ve got umbrella power.”

He smiled. “It’s not just the umbrella.”

“I hit that thing hard. And bam! It was fun. We should do it again!”

“I honestly don’t think I can take many hits like that. But sure. I’m also good at keeping food hot or cold. And carrying stuff.”

“I don’t think Heloísa needs help carrying stuff, man!”

Alden didn’t think so either. The A-rank Strength Brute who’d ended the rescue game could probably handle her own luggage.

“What’ve the rest of you got for me?” Heloísa asked while she held out a cup and Kon ladled the punch into it. “I like prizes.”

“She’s so sure she’s going to win,” another Brute muttered.

“I am going to win.”

“When I win, I’m going to make Heloísa rearrange all of my dorm furniture!”

“I want her to carry me to all of my classes one day.”

“I want to make the knife boy carve a dryad in her tree out of ice and then I want the thermal Adjuster and Alden and Konstantin to make sure it never melts.”

Everyone turned to stare at Jupiter.

“Wow,” said Kon, filling Rebecca’s cub. “You came up with that incredibly…specific…request so quickly. But sure. I could give that a try.”

A rough line was forming.

Alden got behind Mehdi.

[Maricel,] he texted, [we’re doing the punch thing. If you’re still here.]

Drinking a revolting beverage with a bunch of other teenagers just because wasn’t an unmissable life experience, in his opinion. But Alden was sure this was the kind of group activity that Maricel was also making an effort to be a part of.

She wants to fit in and come across as more fun, right? This seems like exactly that sort of opportunity.

Even Lexi was taking a cup. Probably in solidarity with Haoyu. He looked disappointed in himself.

Alden took his turn at the punchbowl. He took one of the little cups from the dwindling stack and held it out to Kon.

Wait a second. If we’re doing it this way, can’t I…

He hastily targeted Kon. His sense of Boe’s direction faded and was replaced by a new one of the Adjuster in front of him.

“I haven’t talked to you much tonight!” Kon was stirring Bonding Potion 2.0 aggressively so that the chunks all rose off the bottom. He seemed intent on giving everyone their fair portion despite the fact that he’d wanted them to do karaoke instead. “Are you having fun?”

“It’s been good to get to know everyone.”

Kon ladled glop into his cup. “Enjoy!”

Alden walked off, staring into his cup of punishment. He’d been in the kitchen for a long time so he’d seen most of the things that went into it. There was an entire zoo in here. It was a firm no from that part of him that just knew not to bother with certain foods anymore.

This smells foul.

Alden activated his skill. The liquid stopped threatening to spill over the rim. The curdled dairy and fat globs froze in place on top. Hey…is it cool if I put this in my mouth? he asked. Just to carry it, not to eat it?

Nothing.

No objection.

Does it not know what this is made of now that it’s preserved? Or does it not mind because I have no intention of swallowing it?

Probably the second one.

“All right! Everyone get in a circley shape, so we can all see each other. No cheating!” Astrid shouted.

Jeffy was standing beside her with another cup.

He’s determined at least. Alden took a place across the circle from them. It was unfortunately close to Winston Heelfeather, who was getting the cold shoulder from lots of people now, including a couple of guys he seemed to be making friends with earlier. It wasn’t the whole group, but he was still looking miserable and pissed about it.

“To the newest first year hero students at Celena North High!” Astrid announced, lifting her cup over her head.

Everyone cheered.

“May we be united in amazingness and asskickery!”

“I’m almost qualified for second year,” Lexi mumbled. “I would be if not for the combat classes.”

His brother elbowed him.

“To us!” said Kon.

“To victory!” Heloísa cried.

“To Brutes!”

“To Meisters!”

“Shapers forever!”

“Adjusters!”

“Don’t any of you dare spit it out on our floor!” Lexi shouted.

To Rabbits, thought Alden, shifting his weight, throwing the cup back, and opening his mouth wide enough for the shape of the preserved drink to pass between his teeth.

Well, this is peculiar. He let it rest on top of his tongue. It felt sort of like an ice cube just starting to melt, only less cold.

Bearer of All Burdens did the fake tactile and visual senses with varying degrees of accuracy, but it didn’t bother with smell, sound, or, apparently, taste. So he had no idea what the others were experiencing as they all hacked, gagged, made faces, or spit their drinks back into their cups.

He closed his eyes. You could try taste if you wanted to, he thought, prodding at various parts of his skill. I wouldn’t even mind having this poison in my mouth if it meant I could get good fake flavors this way down the line.

He was a shameless animal who would absolutely carry a piece of bacon around like this all day so that he had his own personal meat-flavored breath mint.

Maybe some facet I can add will include a tasting feature. Some species somewhere must need to lick things to understand them, right? There’s got to be a way.

“That was one minute,” someone said.

“Damn, the Rabbit’s still got his eyes closed. Is he meditating to endure having that shit in his mouth?”

“Did he actually drink it? Was someone watching him?”

Alden opened his eyes and held his paper cup upside down to prove he wasn’t a cheater. Even though he totally was. Then he crushed it in his fist to prevent anyone from seeing how spotless the inside of it was.

Kon was wiping his tongue on a napkin and taking drinks from a cup of water. “One of you dropouts time him! Everyone who still wants the prize, come get your second cup.”

<<My teeth are burning,>> someone moaned.

[I’ve found the perfect way to destroy my classmates with my skill,] Alden reported to Boe.

He tried to keep his weight shifting subtle, and he closed his eyes again so that he couldn’t see them all. If he started laughing, it was going to be obvious he didn’t have liquid in his mouth…at least not in the usual sense of the word.

He described what was happening, and Boe texted him back. [Told you there would be benefits to partying. Now you’ll have a few dozen high-ranking Avowed owing you favors.]

[I don’t think I’ll go that far with it. I’ll let someone else win. I just want to beat this one particular guy.]

Isn’t it interesting that I’m having no trouble from the gremlin? How fast will it make me choke on this if I change my intentions from not drinking it to drinking it?

“Two minutes.”

Alden looked around again. Most people were finishing their fourth drink. Finlay had tears running down his face and was waving off the ladle as a pair of dropouts came around with the punch bowl again.

He dashed toward an almost-empty milk carton and upended it into his mouth.

Winston’s eyes were watering, too. But he glanced at Alden then took another cup.

Alden smiled around his pleasantly cool mouthful.

Jupiter was accepting her next cup…rather blithely. Okay, so she’s got an unexpected tolerance for both heat and horror.

Jeffy was taking another one even though he looked ill.

Heloísa waved a hand over her mouth and said, “Refreshing!” before staring at another Brute and holding out her cup for more.

Haoyu was downing one while Lexi stood behind him shaking his head.

Mehdi was throwing them back placidly, too.

Max was watching Alden through narrowed eyes while he blew his nose and held out his cup for the punchbowl bearers.

Uh-oh.

A text notification blinked, and Alden answered it.

[You’ve either got nothing at all in your mouth, or you’re using your skill to shield yourself from it. It hadn’t occurred to me that it might work that way, but I bet it does.]

[You can’t prove that,] Alden replied at once. [But even if you’re right, just let me beat Winston, and I’ll spit it out.]

Max looked over at Winston. He shook his head. [The one with the serious inferiority issue? He’s either going to puke or win the whole thing. Probably the first. But he might last through fifteen more rounds before that happens. I’m not going to let you look like your capsaicin tolerance is that high.]

[I’ll give you a talent use. The same as the prize winner gets,] Alden offered.

[What am I supposed to do with it?]

[You’ll think of something.]

Max gulped down his drink and shuddered.

[Deal,] he said a second later. [But try to look like you’re suffering, or other people are going to start to notice, too. Some of the A’s are paying extra attention to us both.]

Alden looked around. [Is Mehdi one of them?]

[I’m surprised you noticed him. He’s not being obvious about it. But he’s not a fan of me or you.]

Max was carefully avoiding looking in Mehdi’s direction.

[Do you think he hates low ranks or something?]

[It would be odd if he did. I think he’s worried about me and you particularly.]

Alden had been trying to look pained so that Astrid would know he was enduring along with everyone else, but at that, his confusion distracted him from his efforts. [What did I do to him?]

[You took a hit from Heloísa with your skill, and you didn’t roll around on the ground crying afterward. Mehdi’s an A-rank Brute, too. Agility-focused.]

[He’s afraid you and I might beat him in a fight?]

[I think that’s what some of the others are afraid of. Mehdi seems different. He seems like the kind of person who wants absolute victories, doesn’t he?]

Alden cut his eyes toward the other boy and back. He didn’t have a clue. Who spent time thinking about other people that way? Keeping up socially was his goal for the night, not analyzing everyone as if they were a future opponent.

[We’ve got ages left to worry about who’s going to grow into the biggest baddest Avowed.]

Max took another drink.

[Some of us are worried about Monday. I’ve met at least four people who have something to prove, and they’re thinking they’ll start by beating me at whatever our instructors have us doing in the gym.]

Just then, Winston Heelfeather made a retching sound, and everyone backed away from him.

Lexi was over there in a split second holding out a bucket that a bunch of samosas had been delivered in earlier.

[Tap out after the next minute,] Max demanded, while Winston barfed. [I get to be the B-rank victor for this one.]

Alden nodded. He did his best to feign increasing agony and distress, and then ran away from the living room clutching his face dramatically. He’d only had Astrid and strangely, Sanjay, for personal cheerleaders, and they both applauded as he fled back toward the bathroom in the apartment’s master suite.

Good. Nobody’s here. He locked the door behind him.

He had forbidden food in his mouth. Some combination of preservation plus his initially pure intentions had made the gremlin dismiss Bonding Potion 2.0 from its threat list.

I can preserve food any time, but not having the slightest intention of eating it is going to be close to impossible now that I’ve had the idea of working around the restriction in this way.

Unless he was amazingly lucky and preservation was a true hack, then this kind of opportunity wouldn’t come around often.

How to do it?

If I un-preserve too soon, it could make me freak, and I’ll be spewing this stuff all over the bathroom and trying to wash it out of my mouth. Enough might make it into my stomach to teach it…or it might not. Instead, it could consider it accidental ingestion at that point and think that’s why the rite didn’t trigger.

And it’s a slow learner.

If Alden’s wordchain practice hadn’t proven that, then the fact that Gorgon had been engaged in food negotiations with his own, much more complete and functional mental helper for ages certainly did.

He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, noting that he still had a few purple flecks from the currant-syrup incident on his cheeks and in his hair. He sighed through his nose.

I know it was a tiny paper cup, but this is still going to be like eating a damn golfball. Can people even do that?

He was trying to look it up when someone knocked on the door.

Alden turned on the sink, hoping that would buy him a minute. Determined, he used his fingers to shove his cup-shaped potion lump into the back of his throat. He tried to gulp.

Unsuccessfully.

“Are you all right in there?” a girl’s voice called through the door. “Throwing up?”

I hope not.

It felt like he was trying to take a pill made for giants. After several more tries, he finally choked it down.

It was a memorable, inelegant process.

Kinda gross.

He felt it slide down his throat and settle in his stomach. He had the same melting ice cube feeling in his gut now.

He blinked at himself in the mirror and wiped drool off his face with a tissue from a box on the counter. He wondered if his tonsils were all right. He started snickering at himself.

Oh yeah! This is definitely the use-case the Artonans had in mind when they designed one of their most powerful Avowed skills.

He released the preservation, and the bonding potion hit his stomach.

The gremlin woke up. Alden could feel it trying to figure out what was going on. It seemed very suspicious.

That’s right, little buddy. We just had some surf-and-turf smoothie. How did that happen? Notice how we’re not exploring the souls of an entire menagerie? You think about that really hard for a while, Alden told it.

*******

The party was getting sloppier.

A pair of hot pink tights were crumpled on the floor in the hall. An Asian boy ran past Alden wearing a piece of caution tape as a belt. The second bathroom wasn’t locked anymore, but there was some kind of thick mustard-colored smoke pouring out of a dispenser on the rim of the tub. Alden assumed it wasn’t an illegal substance, since Lexi wasn’t in here kicking people out, but he still held his breath.

A quartet of people were sitting on the floor while clouds of the stuff settled around them. They were having a discussion about how Anesidora ought to be allowed to purchase a “vacation territory” somewhere on Earth.

“Somewhere tropical,” said Rebecca. “With animals.”

“The Amazon. The Artonans are already paying the South American countries not to develop it. We could hang out there.”

“Can you wear a bikini in the Amazon?”

“I think there are a lot of insects, right?”

In the living room, two teams of supporters had formed around Heloísa and Mehdi. Kon was doling out punch to each of them, his concerned look standing out in stark contrast to the ferociously pleasant smiles on their faces.

“You guys,” he said, while Astrid bounced toward him holding another pitcher of punch, “that’s thirty-six each. Don’t you think we should call it a tie? You can split the prize.”

“I’m fine,” said Heloísa, putting one hand on the hip of her maxi dress and holding her cup out toward Kon.

“Me too.” Mehdi had stripped off his tiger coat. The black shirt he had on under it had gotten sprinkled with glitter at some point. “I could do another thirty-six.”

“Same here.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Maybe you two should fight with your powers,” said Njeri. She was thumping Jeffy on the back. The Aqua Brute was lying sprawled on the sofa, moaning. “It seems like that might be safer.”

Alden caught Heloísa’s eye and gave her a thumbs up as he passed. He would rather owe her a favor if he had his choice.

In the kitchen, he beelined for the snack table and took the last wonton.

Aw man.

He still couldn’t eat it. He held it up to his nose, sniffed it aggressively, and imagined crabs dissolving in stomach acid.

The gremlin wasn’t having it.

But Alden liked to think that it was a bit less sure of itself than it had been.

Eventually, he realized that Vandy and Tuyet were both staring at him. Maricel’s roommates had bowed out of the drinking contest. Now Tuyet was loading dishes into the washer while Vandy folded another paper airplane at the table.

Alden set down his teaching wonton and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Hey,” he said, hoping that they would shrug off his behavior as normal party-induced madness. “Do either of you know where Maricel is?”

“I texted her.” Tuyet finished rinsing a pitcher and started trying to find a place for it on the bottom rack. “She said she had a headache and left. It must have been right at the beginning of the party because I haven’t seen her since.”

“She did?” So that wasn’t her hiding out in the bathroom then? Or was she lying about when she left?

“I hope she feels better tomorrow.” Tuyet sounded worried. “Move-in is going to be hectic. Vandy, maybe we should offer to help her carry her things over from intake? My brother could drive us.”

“I already asked. She said she had it covered. Maybe Alden is helping her?”

“We haven’t talked about it,” Alden said. “But if she needs help, then sure. I’ll check on her in the morning.”

They both exchanged looks.

“Are you and Maricel interested in each other?” Tuyet asked.

“Have you made plans for choosing skills that will help you overcome your class disadvantage?”

Both of their mouths fell open.

“Tuyet! If Maricel hasn’t told us about a relationship, then it would mean it’s private.”

“Vandy, you can’t just call him disadvantaged!”

Vandy clasped her hands over her airplane and looked at Alden. “I am not trying to hurt your feelings,” she said. “I’m asking a professional question. In the future, we may need to shore up one another’s weaknesses—”

“And that’s so much worse than me asking about Mari! I was just checking because she seems unhappy sometimes!”

“Both questions were fine,” Alden said hastily. “Maricel and I are just getting to know each other, and we’re only friends. I don’t know how that rumor got started. And, Vandy, my current plan is to develop my main skill as much as I can. Since there’s no record of it being chosen before, nobody knows when it will top out. As it grows, I’ll have better ideas about what I should choose next.”

“It’s an unknown skill?” Tuyet sounded surprised. “That was…brave of you.”

Vandy cleared her throat. “I’m sure he had different plans for himself when he picked it. And then he changed his mind after experiencing danger on the Triplanets and learning that his skill had rescue potential.”

Yeah, I’ll go with that one. It’s what will make sense to people.

Alden nodded at her.

“I think that’s wonderful.” Vandy brushed a strand of brown hair away from her cheek. “You may not have the best class, but you have real experience. That’s probably why you were chosen for the program.”

No way was he bringing up the commendation with his new peers. It had been an unavoidable part of his application since it was on his profile, but maybe there was still a chance of it staying hidden from other students. The star seemed to be a relationship warper with some adult Avowed at least, and if the Anesidoran teens found out about it…

Even more unpredictable ideas about who I am and what I’m doing at the school coming at me from every angle. Let’s just not.

Vandy finished her airplane and threw it. Before it could crash into the light fixture, she gestured. Alden felt a current of air toss his hair around his face, and the plane dipped and swooped out the kitchen door.

“Vandy, you practice too much,” Tuyet said with a sigh. “You’re doing refined shaping even though you don’t have the right techniques for it.”

“I’m preparing for when I do. I doubt power alone will impress our instructors.”

She pulled another sheet of paper out of a notebook on the chair beside her.

“Hey, can I fold one, too?” It had just occurred to Alden that he would be a lot better at it than he had been before.

Vandy smiled and held out the notebook. At the same time a link to a site full of airplane designs appeared on his interface.

And there are still corn chips on the table, he thought happily as he sat down across from the Sky Shaper and started to fold. Note to self: tell Stu-art’h about paper airplanes.

Their fifth call should be on Tuesday. Alden had decided on a personal goal of finding some silly little Earth thing that the Primary’s son actually liked in a more than mildly-curious way. He was starting to worry that there weren’t even many silly little Artonan things that Stuart allowed himself to enjoy. Possibly the ceremonial wevvi cart, but Alden thought that might be too culturally significant to count.

The guy wants friends but can’t seem to find any he connects with. He loves his family, but he’s not happy with some aspect of that either. He’s still walking around on a nerve-damaged foot when he doesn’t have to because I don’t understand why.

He needs some distractions. I think he’s planning to do it soon. He hasn’t said as much to the clueless human, but…the time off school, the enchanted rings that do things basic spells should be able to handle…

His fingers paused their swift work on one of the creases of the fourth airplane.

Do they do it at home? With other knights around them?

Or do they go to the woods to be alone like I was?

What a strange thing for him to wonder right at this moment, in the middle of a party, in a brightly-lit kitchen with two girls he barely knew, folding paper airplanes in the only Googie-style skyscraper on Anesidora.

It was a night when he was almost as far away from that other world as he ever could be.

He went back to folding.

Why would you do this to yourself, Stuart, you weird bastard? You are one of the few people in the universe who can be anything in the universe. You are rich.

His fingers pinched a corner tighter.

You are smart.

Another crease.

You are a wizard.

A tiny, tiny fan fold.

You are an Artonan.

A rip.

Your father is The. Numero. Uno.

A twist.

You could be a senator, a healer, a scientist. You could get yourself a spouse or five and farm overpriced papayas.

Another twist. An another. And then next would be a thread of paper torn free and wound through the rest of it like a stitch.

“Um…are you still making a plane or have you switched to some more complicated origami?”

Alden’s breath caught. His fingers stilled on the paper. He looked up into Vandy’s blue-gray eyes.

“I was wondering the same thing. Is it just me or are your hands really fast, Alden?” It was Kon’s voice. Behind him. “And, Tuyet, you’re my hero! Thank you, thank you so much for doing the dishes.”

The sound of the punch bowl against the metal basin of the sink. Footsteps.

“What’s that going to be when you’re done with it?” Kon asked curiously. He leaned over Alden’s shoulder.

Vandy was still staring at him.

Words, Alden. Use your mouth.

“Ah, I got a little too into it,” he said sheepishly. He ran a hand through his hair. “This one is definitely not going to end up being aerodynamic for you, Vandy. Sorry.”

“I don’t mind. The others you made look much better than mine.”

He passed the three finished airplanes to her.

“As for the drinking game, we have an official tie!” Kon announced. “Because we ran out of Bonding Potion. And Heloísa and Mehdi are officially mad about it. And now we’re having the official cleaning of the living room so that my parents don’t murder me when they see it on the call. It doesn’t have to be clean clean, but it needs to look less like a stampede has gone through. And does anyone know where I can buy a mattress on sale?”

“I’ll grab a broom,” said Tuyet.

“Don’t bother.” Vandy stood and stretched. “I can blow anything a broom can get twice as fast. I’ll be the sweeper.”

“We’re going to need a mop, too. Njeri offered to clean up the punch spills with her shaping, but it turns out that they’re no longer close enough to elemental water for her to manage. The Object Shaper could probably do it, but he fatigued himself ages ago.”

Kon grabbed a box of trash bags from under the sink. He took one for himself and passed Alden a second as he stood from the table.

He reached for the thing Alden had been making. “Is this trash, or are you still—?”

“I’ll keep it,” Alden said immediately. “It’s a work in progress.”

Kon handed it over, and Alden preserved the paper shape almost by reflex. He stared down at it while Kon started grabbing cups and throwing them into his own bag.

It must look like a mistake to everyone else, he thought. He tucked it into his pocket and went to help clean up in the living room.

The shape he’d made was not a plane. It was part, just the smallest of fragments, of his own affixation.

His stomach clenched.

Just the heinous hot sauce bomb you stuffed in there, he told himself. Nothing else.

It only took fifteen chaotic minutes for the living room to look reasonable again. With dozens of people cleaning, it would probably have gone even faster, but everyone kept getting in each others’ way in an attempt to show off their powers.

“Don’t play tug of war with the sofa, you meatheads!” Lexi shouted at Mehdi and Heloísa. “Just put it back where it started!”

He’d just come back into the room. He’d taken off the sweater and combed his hair. His school uniform was sharply pressed and the double line of silver buttons down the chest looked polished.

“I’ve heard the third years are petitioning to add a version with a short cape,” a petite girl with her hair dyed silvery gray and put up in two buns said to Alden. Her name tag said Everly Kim. They hadn’t run into each other yet, but he thought she was an Adjuster with ice spells.

“It’s almost time!” Kon shouted, racing through the room with his cone hat back on his head. He flung a second one at his brother. Other people were putting theirs on obligingly. “Everyone group up and get ready. They’re calling Lexi. Lexi remember to make sure the System’s pulling everyone in!”

“I can run my own interface.”

Everly smoothed her blouse and straightened her skirt. A second later Kon grabbed her by the hand and pulled her toward the front of the group.

“The two of them just decided to go out together,” Astrid announced. She was dragging a surprised-looking Jeffy over to stand beside Alden. For some reason her short, dark blonde hair—which had been sticking up in a fluffy, spiky style all night—was now dripping wet and hanging around her ears.

As the call arrived, Alden got an invite to connect. Astrid stood on her tiptoes and threw her arms over his shoulder’s and Jeffy’s.

A man and a woman appeared in front of his eyes. They were both in tank tops with the Anesidoran Avowed Ballet logo on the chest. A little girl was in the man’s lap, waving at whatever screen they were using with a completely blue hand.

“Surprise!” half the group in the living room yelled, while the other half shouted other random greetings.

“Did you let the wizards tattoo Irina?!” Kon cried over the din.

“Hello,” said Lexi. “How has the trip been?”

The brothers’ parents looked overwhelmed. Their mother recovered first. “Boys! You’re both in CNH uniforms! You look so grown!”

“Irina and the other kids traveling with us asked one of our hosts if they could try body art. It’s not permanent,” their father said.

He had a very faint American accent. His wife had a faint Russian one.

“I’ve got a turtle. Look!”

The little girl’s other hand appeared to show off a circle design on the palm. There were five sticks poking out of it that might have been legs and a head.

“We’re first years in the hero program together!” Kon shouted.

“I would be a second year, if not for the combat—”

“These are all of our new classmates! We’re moving into dorms tomorrow! Lexi refuses to live with me. The house is fine. Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.”

“Kon—” said their mother.

“None of the neighbors mind the party. I talked to them all in advance.”

“He spent his entire stipend on food for this.” Lexi said. “I told him—”

“Alexei,” said their father. “We’re not worried abou—”

“Wait until you hear what he did with his boat!”

Their mother shook her head. She beamed at them. “I am so proud of you two. We both are.”

“We are,” their dad agreed, grinning at the group. “And of all the rest of you, too.”

Several people said, “Awwww.”

“Thank you, Kon’s dad!” Sanjay shouted.

“Kon’s mom, I’m coming to see the Avowed Ballet for Lunar New Year!” said Everly.

“Kon’s little sister, I love your turtle!” Astrid called.

Lexi rounded on them all. “They have names, you guys. And they’re my family, too!”

*************

Character Notes in next post.