On Why Current Patrons won’t be Charged on September 1st (Patreon)

TLDR:
 

This is a hard post to write, and I’m deeply sorry for having to write it. The short and sweet is that I’m not satisfied with my past month’s work and I do not feel comfortable changing my lovely supporters on the first of September. If you are a current Patron, then please don’t cancel your pledge as you will continue to gain access to next month’s content without being charged this month on September 1st with the rest of the pledges. New patrons who pledge will still be charged upfront.

The Why:

Those who have been with me for a while now will remember that I recently moved. This wasn’t my first move. I have moved a few times in my life, but they have always been to similar locations, populated cities. For this move, I really wasn’t expecting anything different. I was expecting reduced productivity for one or two weeks and then a return to ‘business as usual’ more or less. Well I was wrong.
 

I moved from the city to the country and it has had a larger impact on me then I could have possibly realized. I went from busy and loud city streets with light 24/7 (either from the sun or the city lights at night) with people bustling around, rushing from one destination to the next barely paying attention to who is next to them and the constant low level fear of crime to the country where nights get so dark I can barely see my hand in front of my face, so quite I could hear a pin drop in another part of my current building, barely any traffic, few people slowly walking around, in no rush to get from one destination to the next, and so little threat of crime that some people even leave their doors unlocked. On paper that sounds great but that’s what makes it so difficult to talk about, really to anyone.
 

My productivity feels and is so much lower than it was in the city despite how much more time I have here. Why is that? It’s because my biological clock isn’t tuned to the country, it’s tuned to the busy city. I’m truly a fish out of water here and I’ve had a hard time adapting to the local culture. It is most definitely a net positive being here. I’m physically safer and exposed to less pollution and crime. But my body hasn’t quite adapted to it yet. The cues of city lights for night time are gone, the common sounds of hustle and bustle are replaced by, ironically, many distractions such as neighbors who always want to talk. This is something I’m very surprised about, the city no one cares about you and everyone is in their own little world worrying about the next task to get done. Here, everyone pays attention to each other much more and wish to talk to you, even when going down out to the connivance store for a quick item Is bound to get you stuck in a few conversations.
 

In summary, I haven’t met my goals, and wouldn’t feel comfortable accepting your monthly contributions for what I have achieved during the month of August. I do feel like I’ll be able to get myself back on track and adapt my previous work ethic I had when I was living in the city.  

This is a call for me to do better. 

But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. A month of ramen has never killed anyone (as far as I’m aware), and I have enough set aside to survive missing tomorrows payday which is thanks to the amount of support you guys have already shown me. The next update is still coming and being worked on and it will be out sooner rather than later.
 

I deeply respect the support all of you have given me, and I do not wish to accept contributions which I do not feel were earned. So, from the bottom of my heart,

 I am deeply sorry,

 and I only offer the above as an explanation rather than an excuse. I’m not entitled to any amount of support, so I do not wish to take any of it for granted.
 

Thank you for those who have supported me and those who will continue in the future.
 

Back to focusing on the next update, 

-Nisa