A Job for this Useless Goddess - Part 06 (Patreon)

It had been a few days since the chefs had arrived at Kazuma’s door in a panic before he had bothered to make a move. Their cries and pleading fell upon deaf ears as he simply reminded them that she was ‘their problem now.’

It had taken a guildhall summons threatening to revoke his adventuring license for failure to comply with guild requests before he would listen to reason.

“I knew she would screw up again.”

Darkness and Megumin were quick to push him out the door before he could come up with more excuses, leading the three of them to approach the restaurant side of the guild hall. The acrid smell of burnt ‘something’, intertwined with the sickening sweetness of alcohol permeated the air as they pushed their way through the large double doors to the kitchen.

“Kazumaaaaaaa….everyone...it’s all going so wrong! WAAAAAHHHH!!”

The deluge of tears which flowed down her rounded cheeks was nothing to the greedy mass of round, stretched and drooping rolls of fat which accentuated the tight folds of Aqua’s colossal body. How she had managed to get so fat in such a short time frame was simply beyond their understanding but somehow she had managed it.

“What did you-”

Kazuma felt himself sink into her pale, sagging stomach as she lumbered forward to shake him.

“Idriedgookingbudibessedupsoiusedalcoholbutdeneverydinggautonfireandandand”

“Slow down! And get off me! Your face is gross and you’re getting snot all over me!”

Aqua absolutely reeked of alcohol. She wiped her snotty nose on her bare arm and breathed in before delivering her fractured tale once again.

“You see...I-I...was cooking...but then fire...and then people got mad...and they tried to get me upstairs...but i broke through the floor...so they put me back here....and they feed me the burnt things...and now I can’t get out because I’m so biiiiiggggg!”

Aqua’s enormous body shuddered as she started to bawl once again. Along with her great size, she seemed entirely capable of producing tremendous amounts of body fluid as tears rolled thick and heavy down her double chins.

Her outfit, which had somehow grown to keep up with her up to this point, was reaching its limits as the divine magic which held it together strained underneath the new rolls of flesh which accosted her from every angle. 

“So, you’ve become a human garbage disposal, is that right? God, that’s a new low even for you.”

“Please Kazuma! You gotta help me! I keep eating and eating but they say I owe them so much for all the food I destroyed that I’ll be stuck here months, eating all the waste! I’m so fat I can’t go through the doors and it’s far too much for me to handle! I’ll be some kind of water goddess blimp if you don’t help me!”

“Forget it, I’m not attracting any more debt because of you. You ate your way into this mess, you can eat your way out of it!”

The room shook as Aqua stomped her flabby feet up and down like a gargantuan toddler as she continued her terrible tantrum. It was getting far too much for Darkness or Megumin to bear. The lady knight was the first to step forward.

“You and this establishment may be from the Axis sect, but a knight of Eris cannot turn her back on a teammate in need. You have my sword and my appetite at your disposal.”

“Darkness…”

Megumin tipped the brim of her wizard hat low over her eyes. She did not want Aqua to see the crimson sparkle in them as she eyed her enormously, well endowed chest.

“Truth be told, Kazutrash hasn’t been feeding us very well at home either. We’ve been so broke that we’re down to half a meal per day...amongst all three of us!”

“Megumin…”

Aqua immediately began to perk up. She took the two girls by the hand and held them against her flabby belly. 

“I knew I could count on you guys! If Kazuma doesn’t wanna help us, we can do this all on our own! We just need to clear out the remaining food and we’ll have this debt done in a jiffy!”

Both of them sunk into her eager softness as Aqua draped a flabby arm over her teammates’ shoulders and directed them into the open pantry. It was a move she had made partly to solidify their camaraderie but mostly because she was getting tired standing on her own. Rather than get annoyed for having her undermine him in front of everyone again, he instead thought to ask the simple question which the others had failed to ask before deciding on what to do.

“How much do you owe the guild anyway?” 

“Well, I ruined almost everything...so...I was told I could go once we empty out the city storehouse. 

Megumin and Darkness froze. A shudder of understanding went up their still slender spines. Kazuma sighed and turned to leave. 

“I’ll be waiting with my forklift license when you’re done.”

“What is this, ‘forklift’” Megumin and Darkness asked hesitantly as the gravity of their agreement settled in, together with the vastness of Aqua’s size.

“I did all this in about a month, but with three of us, we’ll get all this food put away in at least half that time! It should only take us about another month or two!”

Megumin and Darkness could only wonder just how useless they would become by the end of summer as Aqua set about the kitchen, gathering spoiled ingredients to make their first of many meals.