life and medical appointments (Patreon)

"Tell your patrons what you're working on." - How did you know that's what I was going to start with?!

June, the month of painful medical procedures, I'm so glad you are gone. I'm more than ready to just not be in pain anymore. That being said, I'm feeling much, much better. I got my bandages out on Monday and my mouth is healing nicely. I'm being diligent with rinsing the holes twice a day until the wounds close up. So far I'm not feeling intense relief apart from the knowing that I will never have to do that shit again. My gums are slightly uncomfortable and tender, like teething pains. To my surprise, it took my mouth absolutely no time to claim the space that my wisdom teeth were holding. I was expecting there to be a little gap between last tooth and cheek but no - it's like when my dog died and my cat instantly claimed his favorite sleeping spot. Just no hesitation at all.
After the last dentist appointment, I decided to take a chance and try for an appointment right the next day with the obgyn. My carer took me everywhere which was great. My stupid period happened to fall on the weekend and I was a little nervous because mine only lasts for a few days at a time. So instead of giving me an appointment, they suggested I should wait a little until they could squeeze me in. What did I go there for, you ask? After moderate consideration, not on that specific day obviously, I decided to get a copper IUD. And I'm paying hell for it. Talk about traumatizing the fuck out of my uterus. I'm not over it and I won't be for a while. Day 3 now, I no longer feel miserably crampy and unable to move but it's still uncomfortable and I'm starting to wonder if it will permanently inhibit my movement for exercise. It also gave me painful indigestion the past couple of days. I haven't eaten today so I can't give a status update. The melons from last night's dinner seemed to go down well, though, so I'm hopeful. 

Tonight is pizza and cocktails night. So my stomach had better calm the fuck down... please? This is a weekly thing, every Wednesday night we eat pizza, drink and watch a movie. Unless it takes longer to find a movie than watch it, then we default to our usual shows. Except tonight is kind of special. Two years ago, on the 4th of July, marks the first night Jack and I hung out together. I got stood up by my backboneless then girlfriend and stayed up all night complaining about it, drinking gin&juice and chatting with Jack. At first I was nervous about boring him or hogging all his time, but we just got along so well from the start which is something I'm not used to. It just never got awkward. Ever. It didn't take him long to fall in love with me, and me not that much longer to fall in love with him. We've spent progressively more time together since then and when in December we decided to be exclusive, we started spending every minute of every day together. I never get tired of him. In fact, I involuntarily turn into an excited kitten when his status changes to online in the morning. (He works from home, in case you were wondering how the fuck he holds down a job and still spends all day with me.)
I like how pizza movie date falls on this celebratory day. Now that I can open my mouth wide enough to eat pizza again, I will eat and I will drink to two years with my favorite person ever. 

Is anyone wondering what "new habits" I was hinting at in my last post? Yes? Good. I'll just pretend you care for a moment. One of the things I used to struggle with is being stuck in a horrible, depressing rut. I took a few measures to try and pull myself out of it and most of that honestly consists of introducing new things to my brain. Add to that the fact that I was doing hardly any of the things I know I enjoy like listening to music and singing, it's no wonder my life wasn't bringing me loads and loads of joy. So I came up with a thing. I am now learning how to sing a new song every day. Just learning the lyrics to the point where I would be able to perform it if I ever decided I wanted to. (Regular singing videos, anyone?) This has done wonders to my psyche. Not only do I get the accomplishment of learning something, the new input also opens me up to change and looking at the world differently. Not to mention singing is a great emotional release. It's like I'm discovering the unknown of this world one song at a time. Now, some days I will have to skip if I'm especially busy, don't feel well or, as was the case in the last two weeks, moving my mouth hurts like a bitch. But the general idea is to find a new song that I want to learn every day. Sometimes it may take me two days to learn it but that's fine. Still on track toward a vastly more fulfilling life. <Listen to today's song> 

I'm not sure when I'm gonna squeeze in a nap... Today I was rudely awoken by a package delivery. I ordered a bunch of clothing on EMP because they had a huge sale and my retail therapy meter was at capacity. Most of it probably won't fit, but I hope some of it does. This, paired with having cleaned my whole fucking bedroom all night after only 90 minutes of sleep and my body clock refusing to let me sleep while it's light out, sure as hell calls for a try-on haul. In the last haul I was trying to be cute and likeable more than trying on clothing. But after all you guys enouraging me to be myself and telling me how much you enjoy hanging out with me in my videos, the message finally sunk in and I forgot the point of trying to be something other than myself. Except I'm still gonna be a bartender and vampire and stuff occasionally. But I no longer see anything wrong with not acting overly friendly for friend roleplays just because every other ASMRtist does. Who the hell says just regular friendly won't do? I'm not a people person, it's not in my nature to shower all my friends with affection. I'm not made out of fucking pink cotton candy or some shit. That's my brand. No fucking pink cotton candy. Lol

I'm getting myself ready to be filming tonight, learning this song, I decorated a little and I so much as want to film this video. Good to know that I won't just hibernate and play the Sims when left to my own accord. I just needed a change, or a few changes. A fresh start. I was bored. I wonder what kind of videos will come out of this new perspective. We shall find out. 

//Ally