first whiff of spring air (Patreon)

I went out last night. I noticed that when I'm most miserable and restless, the same types of processes tend to help. They have acronyms now. VWS: vent, walk, shower. BFS: bath, food, sex. I'm sure there are more, these are just the most common ones I typically do in that order. 

It was worth it just for the air. The icy breath of winter has made way for the thawing scent of spring. It has something so refreshing and uplifting that I can feel it so deep in my spirit and every fiber of my being. It has me peeking out of my emotional covers, teasing and calling. The goddess of spring is beckoning to me. "Come out and play," the comfortably cool air encourages. My soul is dying to follow. I'm like a tiny kitten at the smell of fresh milk, digging out of my comfortably warm nest and anticipating a nourishing meal. 

I can't get enough of this air. I want to keep my windows open all the time. This scent is life itself. If I could will my skin to let it flood in, I would. It awakens hopes and anxieties. Hopes for a new year, a better one, a truer one. I used to get a ton of yaruki at the start of the calendar year in January. This year I didn't. It was kinda meh. I found it strange that I experienced none of the excitement I used to and to be honest, it worried me a little. (Maybe also a slight case of seasonal depression...) But now... it all changed with this scent. 

Just as I thought winter would never end, just as I thought I was used to it... There it was. A small reminder of changing times, it took me by surprise. Fill me, caress me, eliminate the death in me. The dust collecting on my weakened bones. Wash over me with memories of times I was alive and light a spark in my frozen soul. Make me feel like I can be free, like the dream I just couldn't give up on. Remind me of who I wanted to be and tell me I can be that. Write it in the moonlight. Bright white on a blackened sky. Inject it into me with every bug bite. Let me shed the insulation under my dry skin. I promise, I promise, I promise - I won't let it go to waste.