#How2Steiner Notes (Patreon)

It's time for episode notes with SmoJo! Includes witty observations such as "he’s actually kinda handsome if you ignore the terrible mullet".

The Steiner Brothers vs. Kensuki Sasaki & Hiroshi Hase – WCW vs. NJPW 1991

Stage 1 Scott

he looks REALLY familiar! but nothing like current Scott Steiner

he’s actually kinda handsome if you ignore the terrible mullet

he’s so STRONG! like he has cannonballs in his body

this is good wrestling!! considering it’s 1991, it’s nothing like I thought it would be, especially for Scott Steiner

it’s amazing how flippy and high flying a lot of this is!!! I’m honestly shocked!

oh my GOD his FINISHER!!!

never thought Scott Steiner would actually be good at wrestling

god their music is like something out of a 90s corporate training tape

Kefin’s tasked me with trying to guess Rick’s nickname

my guess is Porn Stache

Steiner vs Goldberg Fall Brawl WCW 2000

Stage 2 Scott

this is the first time I’ve seen Goldberg ACTUALLY wrestle

the promo is all reenacted with wrestling figures

brought to you by Robot Chicken

“I’m gonna show your girlfriend what it’s like to be with a REAL man” - Steiner to Goldberg

Kefin turned on captions for me because he’s hard to hear and they really didn’t help much

steiner bros handcuffed Goldberg to the ring and made him watch as they did their finishing move to his girlfriend

then they handcuffed him to a bus? they’re really into it I guess

“Big Poppa Pump is your hook-up” hook-up for what? Drugs? I assume drugs or maybe women

he’s arguing with some people in the audience

it cut to backstage with Goldberg leaving his dressing room and when it cut back Steiner was STILL arguing with the guys in the crowd

Scott’s got a mask on which makes him look like he’s in a really lazy catwoman outfit

gotta say i never would have thought two muscle hams would be capable of such moves

the ref looks terrified, poor thing

a woman has come in, I don’t know who she is

I asked kefin and he said ‘she’s Scott Steiner’s freak'

HELPFUL

okay now another guy has run in

apparently it’s Vince Russo

he hit Goldberg over the head with a metal pipe

I know enough about the AEPodcast to know that he was a writer? during that time?

I don’t know why he is hitting people with metal piping though

he’s wearing a t-shirt that says ‘slap nuts'

what does that mean

so why is everyone ganging up on Goldberg?

Steiner’s finishing submission move is just like playing horsey

Steiner wins!

and Vince Russo rips his top off

Steiner vs Triple H Royal Rumble 2003 (YUCK)

it starts off by explaining that Triple H and Steiner previously had an arm wrestle match

and then a pose down which apparently consists of flexing a lot

but Triple H hired goons to beat him up in the middle of their push up competition! oh no!

oh! and then scott steiner pulled all of triple h’s clothes off! aw he’s in a little thong

really great editing for this video package

Kefin is physically recoiling every time Steiner flexes

Steiner isn’t even bothering to clench his fists to hit Triple H he’s just half closed his hand

Ric Flair choking Steiner with the sleeve of his jacket there

god Steiner just looks so tired

ahhhhh he’s just doing everything half-heartedly

this is really sad

poor Triple H, poor Steiner

he looks like he needs to go home and have a nice bath and a cup of tea

it’s really hard as well because Ric Flair is just so sprightly and energetic in comparison to Steiner, even though he’s like 10 years older than him

Triple H hit Steiner with a sledgehammer and Steiner's trousers fell down a bit and you can see his purple thong

:-(

Scott won by disqualification!

he looks so sad

Steiner vs Samoa Joe TNA Slammiversary 2006

Stage 3 Steiner

Steiner: “you call him Sloppy Joe” WOAH, WITTY

what’s with his hatred of fat people? :-O

WOAH SAMOA JOE’S HAIR!!!!! <3 <3 <3

WHAT A HUNK

oh my gosh he spat in Steiner’s face! rude!

I like the hexagonal ring

I’ve just realised that a lot of Steiner’s moves and taunts are REALLY similar to Kefin’s wrestling character on 2k16

this match is a lot better than the last one, so what the fuck happened??

eugh Steiner just poked Joe in the eye!!

Samoa Joe won!

Scott Steiner vs English Language

"You know, they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe, and you can see that statement is not true! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler, you got a 50-50 chance of winnin'. But I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal, so you got a 25% at best at beatin' me! And then you add Kurt Angle to the mix? Your chances of winnin' drasticy go down. See the three-way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of wiinnin'. But I, I got a 66 2/3 chance of winning, cause Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me, and he's not even gonna try! So, Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25 percent chance, and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winnin' at Sacrifice! But then you take my 75 perchance chance at winnin', if we was to go one-on-one, and to add 66 2/3 chance percents, I got a 141 2/3 chance of winnin at Sacrifice! See, McJoe; the numbers don't like, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice! See- but I'm gonna break it down for all you ladies." "Would you rather be with me, or would you rather be with Joe?"

“mesmermised"

crowd chanting “steroids"

steiner saying some weird ass shit while women in awful hats stands around nearby