#How2Hogan Notes (Patreon)
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Andre the Giant’s manager = Bobby the Brain Heenan
he looks aroused
and also on a lot of drugs
he’s such AN UNCOMFORTABLE COLOUR! like purple brown
weird hotdog man
“now I’m gonna show you some real weird ones” - that wasn’t weird?????
hogan tears his t-shirt off - he makes it look like it melted off him, is it really weak material?
he’s balding
it’s a really slow match
hogan avoids an attack and the crowd shit themselves with excitement
like calm down
andre leans against hogan, squeezing him for around a minute atm. reckon andre might have fallen asleep
two minutes now
hulk hogan’s unconcious
then he lifts his fist up in the air
this is so boring
if I set this to classical music it would be very dull
they bash into each other at one point and fall over and everyone freaks out again
I think if they saw adrian neville I think they would actually die
hulk does the shakey thing again which is apparently referred to as “hulking up"
like the actual hulk? like the green angry man?
apparently that was regarded as the best match ever for ages?????
WrestleMania 9 - Bret Hart vs Yokozuna - 1993
This is Hogan after he’s left to become an actor and he’s returning from that
End of the main event at WresleMania
Hogan runs in
Yokozuna challenges him to fight
they fight briefly and Hogan pins them and he wins the belt??????
Promo bit - WCW Hogan turns heel - 1996
he looks so trim!
the crowd start throwing stuff onstage
he says ‘brother’ a LOT
“hulk hogan you can go to hell. straight to hell.” do not pass go, do not collect £200
Summerslam - Hulk Hogan vs Shawn Michaels - 2005
"Legend vs Icon"
the music post-betrayal is RIDICULOUS like an angry choir of angels
does he wear a bandana because he’s balding?
shawn michaels makes a digging motion during hogan’s entrance he’s gonna “bury” him
shawn michaels just keeps overselling EVERYTHING
every tiny hit gets a ridiculous backflip and roly poly
hulk cuts his forehead and there is blood EVERYWHERE
it is very harrowing
shawn has him in a headlock and there it literally so much fucking blood
it’s like something out of the saw movies
TNA - Hulk Hogan vs Sting - 2011
hulk hogan has had back surgery like 6 times at this point and also a hip replacement
this is really sad
it’s like two dads trying to wrestle
except one of them has a bad back so he can’t do much but he’s really trying because his son is in the audience and he doesn’t want to let him down
like your rich friend’s dad, the one with the alcohol problem no one acknowledges on account of him being mega rich, ric flair takes off his jacket and uses it to attack sting
this could also be compared to a pantomime, full of dads who refuse to believe they’re too old to be famous anymore
hulk hogan does the ric flair walk thing and looks like it’s too much work and he might fall over
With regards to “hulking up” - is this something he can control? like he has a magic power?
or is it something that overpowers him, like the hulk’s thing
hulk refuses to wrestle shorter or smaller wrestlers. why does it matter if they’re short? they should make the ring smaller so they look big
perspective innit
hogan ridiculous wizard promo: it’s like a REALLY BAD b movie
“I’m ashamed as a wrestling fan to have shown you this"