Queen of Hearts: Part 2 (Patreon)

Following her visit to Aura Inc., Mia found her motivation and inspiration levels soaring. Unfortunately, even after her second visit the following week, she was still having a hard time finding a decent date. At first she had downloaded apps like Tinder and OkCupid and tried her luck there, but after filling out bio after bio and then populating her page with pictures she thought were relatively cute, she became discouraged at the lack of positive responses. Every once in a while someone would send her a dick pic or call her fat, but for the most part, serious inquiries were nonexistent. There was one that looked promising: A fit black man in a shirt and tie, his long dreadlocks wound into a neat bun for work and glasses resting on his gorgeous face. Things had been going well until Mia had asked to video chat with him and found his evasive answers concerning. In fact, any mention of new pictures or requests for tangible validation were met with excuses until she accused him of being a catfish. He blocked her afterward.

Unwilling to give up, Mia moved to plus size dating apps like Feabie only to find it a hideously toxic den of people screaming for attention while refusing to engage with anyone else. Those who did speak to Mia were only interested in objectifying her weight or nearly demanded she buy them food to make them fat as well. There was one man who was reasonably local that seemed nice and interested in her. After about a week or so of talking, they went to meet up for a lunch date. Excited, Mia three on her nicest dress and stood by the meeting place, eager to finally receive at least SOME action even if it ended up being a fling.

(1)

Her date showed up, a hispanic man with short, swept hair and a casual, undressed up outfit. He arrived at the correct place and walked right up to Mia, but did so 20 minutes late and was looking over his shoulder constantly. Anywhere she suggested they go, he would say he wasn’t in the mood for or would redirect to going to her place. In the end, he ended up leaving after two hours, but insisted that he wanted to see her again. Using a bit of clever manipulation, she convinced him to add her on Instagram where she took note of his user name and information. She plugged his name into facebook and found that not only was he lying about not having social media outside of insta, but he was a married father of two kids. After sending a message containing screenshots of her conversation with him on feabie to his wife, Mia blocked him and deleted her account.

She hadn’t found the love of her life by the time her next scheduled appointment arrived, but the thought of ending her visits to Aura Inc. never even came up as a passing thought. Despite not finding a man to spend her life or even a decent afternoon with, Mia found that she liked this new, more motivated version of herself much more. Her depression was still present, but she was much more distracted from it now. Where once there was hopelessness was now the excitement of checking her social media and dating profiles for hits, even when they were few and far between. Where once there was self loathing, now there was a drive to dress her heavy body in flattering outfits. To her great surprise, Mia had even lost 4 pounds over the course of the month both from simply not binge eating out of boredom and the increased physical activity level that came with shopping for clothes and spending time in public to put herself out there.

With a bright smile, Mia walked over to the reception desk where Samantha sat smiling, waiting for the fat black woman to waddle her way into the building.

“Alright, you’re all set up. Go ahead and get settled into room 3 as usual and I’ll get you when your time is up. The clean-cut blonde said, her polite smile expertly concealing what Mia could only describe as unwarranted eagerness. She couldn’t explain it, but something about the girl’s expression that Mia swore held just the slightest bit of….Something. Wariness? Malice? Mischief? It was nothing unusual given that she’d lived her entire life as a black woman dealing with more overt displays of the exact same vibes, bit this one was either less intense or significantly better hidden.

With the headset on, Mia felt the waves of feeling pulsing into her through the speakers, gently lulling her into a drowsy daze. Barely audible beats ebbed and flowed like a tide, threating to carry the sleepy woman away with them as the metaphorical sand of reality was washed out from beneath her with every swell of the tide. Before she knew it, Mia was floating in space, feeling completely like there was nothing but quiet, dark static all around her.

(Fat)

The words had echoed throughout her headspace, calling her attention to it and focusing her mind on the word.

(Fat)

It was a word that surprised her. She’d expected to hear the calm, soft, female voice telling her how the world sees her in some positive way or guiding her into some serene mental scene.

(Too fat)
(Fat)
(Too fat)

The sudden insult made Mia’s eyes shoot open. She moved to reach up and take the headphones off, but found that the headset wasn’t even on. Instead, she sat in the immersion room all by herself with none of the equipment anywhere to be found. With an angry huff, she stood up and waddled towards the door, watching as it opened sideways, receding into the doorframe as if it were the sliding door at the entrance to a grocery store. The convenience of walking from the immersion room to the front entrance to the building was not lost on her as Mia took a mental note of not needing to complain to Samantha or having to go through the awkward conflict of filing a complaint. 

(You are fat. Those around you can tell)

Mia looked around angrily, squinting as the sun beat down brightly on her. Before her was a vast desert split into two halves by a single black road. As her eyes adjusted, Mia felt herself moving to walk down the road, determined to leave the building. She walked for what felt like several minutes before the sweat began to pour off of her face and her thighs began to ache. While she hadn’t been heavy all her life, Mia was never especially thin either. Physical exertion was never something that she especially loved doing, which lent to her size exploding out of control.

(2)

As she walked, grimacing from the heat and feeling her shirt grow damp and uncomfortable as the material began to chafe the rolls of flab it became wedged in between.
A woman ran by her. She ran past Mia as if she wasn’t even there, blonde ponytail bouncing from side to side as she strode quickly down the street. Then another woman, this one a redhead with pale, thick legs that made Mia worry for the poor thing’s skin in the heat and sun. Soon, more white women jogged past her, leaving the obese black girl feeling alone and behind. Suddenly, a surge of motivation welled up within her like a feeling of restlessness squeezing her spine. She simply felt compelled to move faster. Mia broke into a run and dashed as quickly as she could up the street towards what seemed to be a gleaming building on the horizon.

(Fat)

Exhaustion almost immediately took the place of vigor the moment she heard the word again.

(Fat)

The reason she’d been ignored and fetishized online.

(Fat)

The singular trait that symbolized her depression.

She’d never considered her weight to be such a problem, even when she was trying to date. Even so, she couldn’t help but feel insecure and embarrassed as her heavy body slowed to a crawl and a painful cramp under her rib forced her to bend over, staggered by the heat and unable to catch her breath as a horde of fit, curvy women jogged past her effortlessly towards the still-distant building. 

“There is no reason to keep up with them.” She tried to tell herself in her mind, but it didn’t help. She didn’t care that they might have thought of her as inferior for not running with them. She cared that despite her very best efforts, she still couldn’t even try to. She was simply too out of shape.

(Too fat)

The building came into view as the sun to set. Mia felt in every way that she’d been walking for hours, gasping for air and suffering in the heat. It had no signage or symbols, but Mia could see every single woman that passed her moving past it’s doors. Mia wasn’t entirely sure what was inside, but the mere thought of AC made her willpower jump back to life just in time for her to powerwalk past the sliding glass doors.

A gym. 

The building was a gym and in front of Mia stood a massive array of treadmills, nearly all being used by curvy white women in shapely or revealing outfits. They still didn’t acknowledge her, but Mia felt from them a sense of acceptance. Like they were happy that she was there with them.

(3)

(People around you notice your confidence)

The voice changed again as Mia stepped onto her own treadmill and pressed the start button, her hand and feet moving on their own.

(As you move to regain control of your life you feel your confidence grow)

The treadmill began pulling the floor from beneath Mia’s tired feet, forcing her to move at a brisk pace just to avoid falling off. Even worse, something in her mind told her that to fall off was terrifying and unacceptable. Like if she were to get off or stop the machine for even a moment she would fall into oblivion forever.

(People around you notice your confidence)

The voice seemed to egg her on. As Mia ran, she felt aa sort of companionship with the other treadmill girls. She had just hit her second wind when she noticed a man walk up to one, slapping her ass as she ran. Mia never stopped, but the sandy blonde girl giggled as she hopped off the machine and into the man’s arms before getting carried out of the building.

(Your willpower and determination to look and feel your best draws attention to your best qualities)

The voice washed over her like a hot rain. Not soothing or motivating, but heavy and wet, matting her sweatsoaked clothes to her body as watched men enter the building one by one. Each man was egregiously handsome and moved to a woman on a treadmill to speak some inaudible words before convincing her to leave with him. Others would simply walk up to the girl of their choice and carry her off. Mia couldn’t help but feel intensely jealous of them. 

(But confidence is only the beginning)

Mia watched with miserable resentment as each woman that left abandoned her to continue sweating herself to death on the treadmill. With her exhaustion now clinging to her like lead armor, she panted her way through the mindless exercise, growing more and more lonely every time someone else was chosen over her.

(4)

(Men want a woman who is beautiful. Sexy. Hot)

As the gym began to empty out, Mia had become aware that every time a woman was removed from her treadmill, the ceiling light above it would turn off. At first it had been hard to notice, but by the time more than half the women had gone, it was impossible not to. Mia began swaying her hips and leaning over on the support bar in order to grant her more sex appeal. She stuck out her chest and shook the sweat off her face in an attempt to attract a man to come and free her from her infinite walk.

(Men want a woman who suits them. Men want a woman worth their time)

Mia desperately watched as one by one the lights went out, terrified that she would never be picked.

(Too Fat)

The voice echoed in her head as she cranked up the treadmill speed.

(Too fat)

She felt her heart race, dashing forward in a vain effort to be seen as all but the last girl walked out with a dashing man.

(Too fat)

Finally, the treadmill powered down and Mia looked up in horror, gasping for air and dripping sweat. She watched in stunned, huffing silence as the last light went out with the exodus of the final woman. Mia pressed the buttons on the machine, hoping to start it back up with the idea that as the last one left, she would have to be chosen.

(Too fat)

The words echoed in her mind painfully. She knew it was true. As much as she’d tried to put it from her mind or insist that her confidence was what mattered, she knew full well that the only people interested in such an obese woman were the fetish freaks and desperate weirdos online. She was never going to be swept off of her feet so long as she was too heavy to lift. She wasn’t good enough. She was too fat. Mia’s heart raced as tears began to fill her eyes, but before she could cry out or fall to the ground, the last of the lights went out.

Mia woke up with a start. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was that had scared her so badly, but it must have been quite the epiphany, she thought to herself. The bed groaned slightly as Mia rolled across it, suddenly very aware of the strain her weight must have been putting on the frame. She placed the headset on the charger and exited the room only to find Samantha standing behind the door.

“Oh! Perfect! I was JUST about to come get you.” The perky blonde chirped.

“Oh…Yeah, I uhh…I just kinda woke up so I figured I would come out. It felt like it was time, you know?” Mia said, still drowsy and disoriented from the session.

“Yep! That’ll happen!” A voice called from across the way.

“Oh…Oh shit! Hay!” Mia called, delighted to see Trinh sitting on the corner of one of the desks in the reception area.

“I believe you know my 3’o clock appointment.” Samantha said, smiling. “We’re all ready for you.”

Trinh looked incredible, Mia thought. She drank in the slender girl’s figure, fixated on how incredibly slim she looked. Even if there wasn’t much to speak of in the boobs department, her hair and slender figure more than made up for it. Mia felt herself staring and averted her gaze.

(5)

“Well, that’ll be me. I gotta go in now, but text me later?” Trinh said, running her angel-soft hand along Mia’s doughy, flabby arm.

“Yeah, of course!” Mia replied, feeling slightly dismissed and significantly more aware of her body size compared to the feather-light image of beauty that Trinh had become. 

“Did the treatments do all that?” She wondered to herself as she walked out to the car, taking one last moment to look back at the building one more time before she went home.

*Huff...huff…..huff…..* 

Mia had finally hit her stride as she powered up the street. She may not have been moving very fast, but what was important to her was that she didn’t let herself stop. Her tights clung to her body and her calves hated her, but if she made it all the way this time it would be the first time she’d jogged completely around the block without stopping. At first the diet and exercise was an agonizing affair, but once she’d gotten through the first week or so it became much easier to manage. Within the last two weeks alone she’d already lost 6 pounds and was eager to drop more before her next visit to Aura Inc. She was to go in once every two weeks by then, so she was due for another visit soon. Whatever it was that this place had been doing to her was a welcome alteration.

(6)

*Hooooo….*

“Alright. Home stretch.” Mia said, steeling herself once her house was in view, then sprinting down the street as fast as her flabby legs would carry her.