Fat Happens: Part 5 (Patreon)

Monday had arrived far sooner than Miri had liked. Her nerves kept her awake at night, causing her to spend her free time pacing around her apartment and stress-cleaning anything she could find that looked even remotely out of place or disorganized. By 5 AM Monday morning, every counter had been scrubbed, every floor mopped and vacuumed, and all of her laundry pressed and folded with obsessive speed and precision.

Periodically during her runs into the bathroom to put away a brush or deposit a hair tie into a drawer, Miri would pause to scrutinize her figure in the mirror.
She'd picked out a flattering outfit: a black tank top with a deep green overshirt that successfully hid the puffiness of her arms and flattened the roundness around her belly button a bit. Dissatisfied by the effort it took, she was at least happy to see a flat stomach again. The young woman was pleased to see her chest was no longer as flat as it once was despite still being far from what anyone would consider "busty." The only things Miri had to sigh about while clothed was the perceivable pinch of her jeans around her hips and the round swell of shirt fabric over the sides of them. She had no idea when she'd fallen off the regimen that kept her barely hovering above a double digit weight, but Miri could feel just how uncomfortably tight her size 10's were getting. Her stomach didn't puff out or lose it's false flatness with the shirts she had confining them, but her hips and sides were definitely going to need to be hidden, she thought.

Several times, she had thought to stop and make breakfast, but found her nerves too shot to eat a full meal and her jittery energy too much to allow her to stand still long enough to prepare an actual meal. Instead, Miri had grabbed a bottle of salsa and dipped into it nearly an entire bag of tortilla chips as she walked back and forth throughout the apartment, washing the stove and fridge handle or between moving tables and couch segments to sweep and vacuum. She opted to put the bag away and look for "real food" before her mom decided to show up extra early trying to catch her unprepared and still in the middle of cleaning.

She stared into her fairly stocked fridge wondering what to eat, finding nothing appetizing. In her nervous state, the hungerless state she had long trained herself to achieve was stopping her body from associating anything but the most insignificant amounts of food with pleasure. Or rather, anything substantial all at once. The longer Miri scoured the place for something to do, the more she found herself snacking on a candy bar or a pack of gummies or the odd pop tart. Each time she reprimanded herself, having snapped out of her frazzled daydreams only to catch herself munching on sugary or salty treats to stave off her morning hunger.

(1)

It was then that she remembered a time in high school when she woke up feeling energetic and downright unable to eat in the morning.

"Not the most healthy thing in the world," she thought, momentarily congratulating herself for getting into the habit of fueling herself in the morning before dropping her hand to her side and feeling the brush of her since-widened waist.

Recanting, she said, "But it sure as hell got the job done."
Miri looked at the second pop tart sitting on her plate and sighed as she brushed the crumbs off of her hands. She picked it up and wandered over to the trash can, trying to remember where all the extra weight had come from after she met her first goal of 100 pounds. The scrawny girl had planned on losing even more at that point, still unhappy with however little thickness her skin had to it.

"Jesus," she thought aloud, staring at nothing in particular.
"Yester-me was crazy. I wonder what I'd have thought then if I saw me now."

For a moment, the dark-eyed girl was at odds with her past self, imagining what excuses she would make to the skinny teen and what she would have said back.
The justifications sounded just as bad in her head as she would have imagined.
"I'm just not 16 anymore." She thought.
"Weak." Came the response.

"I don't have time to exercise all day." She reasoned.

"That's a lie and you know it." Her inner self challenged.

And then a harsh, but pleading thought popped into her head. One Miri had thought thousands of times while crying over an exercise plan she couldn't complete or in an attempt to force herself to avoid eating something off her scheduled meal plan.
Back then, she would have said it was what she wanted most.

She heard it over and over in her head, as she did many, many times before.

"....Don't you want to be skinny?"

She did.
She wanted it.
A thin waist.
Small, dainty arms.
Collarbones.
Pronounced hips.
Firm abs and tight thighs.

She wanted to be small and smaller.
Her daze was broken by the taste of the smores pop tart on her tongue.
"No wonder I'm so fat now," Miri sighed.
She pressed her flat palm against the restrained flesh beneath her shirt, feeling her hand squish into her lower belly as she tried to push the roll forming over the front of her jeans back behind the lip of the waistband, sucking in a little as she did.
"I'm just mindlessly eating now."

Miri walked away and grabbed her phone, initially only planning to check the time. It was 8 o'clock in the morning. Despite it being early, it was only a matter of time before her mom walked through the door, and Miri did not want to have to deal with that on her own.

Nervously, she decided to give Tawny a call for support.
After few rings, she picked up.

"Hey."
Miri felt bad hearing the tiredness in her friend's voice, but was already committed to the call.

"Morning! What's up?" Miri chirped, trying not to sound nervous.

"Sleeping. Why?" Tawny replied shortly.

"Ack. Sorry. I know it's early, but I was wondering if you guys wanted to come over to my place?" Miri asked hopefully.

"Uhh...mmph." Tawny grumbled through the speaker.
"Probably later? I'm not really big on running or whatever, but you can ask Meg if she's up for it."

"Actually, I'm not gonna be running today." Replied Miri.

"Oh. Finally gave that up, huh? About time. Those jogging clothes were looking way too small to be moving around in."

Miri rolled her eyes at the quip. Her jogging clothes were stretchy enough that she didn't have to worry about them being tight at all, but it seemed that her friend couldn't resist teasing her anyways.

"Actually my mom is coming over and I was hoping you guys would join me and stuff. Actually meet her."

Tawny paused for a second.
"You mean your overbearing mother who would instantly take pot shots at me for being fat despite being fat herself and makes you feel really bad about yourself because she tells you how to be all the time?"

"Yeah..That's the one," winced Miri.

"Well, sorry lady, but uhh....Why would I wanna do that?" Tawny asked, causing Miri to imagine her standard eyebrow quirk.

"Cuz I'm looking for support and for someone to stop her if she does all that stuff?" Miri said.

Again, there was a pause.

"Ok, so I gotta level with you here. I don't know your mom really well at all. I ONLY know the bad things you say about her, and that paints kind of a not cool picture of her. Secondly-"

"She's not ENTIRELY terrible," Miri interrupted.

Tawny returned fire without skipping a beat, shutting her friend's weak defenses down instantly.

"Well if she isn't terrible, then maybe you could start saying nice things instead of just bashing her all the time. All I hear is that she is a slanderous monster who loves hurting people to feel good about herself, and frankly, I don't actually know you well enough to go over to your house and fight your mom for you.
Meg, sure. We live together. But counting online, we've only known each other like two months, tops. I don't think you're doing it intentionally, but the things you complain about her doing, you do too.
You judge, you nit pick, you use people. When you and Meg went to the mall and ate you got on some waitress for not looking skinny despite being fatter than her, and you do the same to just about everyone you see."

Miri shrank down into the couch, taking slow bites of her pop tart as her friend whipped into a frenzy of tough talk.

"EVEN NOW you're trying to get your friends to go to your house so that we can take the heat off of you when your mom sees what you look like, which according to you was going to happen no matter HOW you looked. I said she looked chunky from a distance one time and since then you've been prodding me to say it again and again.
Miri, *I* am fat.
Meg is fat.
We both like to tease and comment on what we see, but that is playful. But when you sit there and heckle people for being fat in a mean kind of way, you are coming after us too. And that's not cool.
Fat happens. It's normal. It happened to me, it happened to your mom, it happened to you. I need you to realize that it's NOT A BAD THING."

Again, Miri was stunned.
She had no idea that her friends were telling each other what she'd said on their outings or that they had negative feelings towards what was said.
She didn't know why she had thought they wouldn't, but still, she was blindsided and guilty as charged.
Choking back tears and frustration, she tried to salvage the conversation gracefully.

"I don't think you guys are bad or look bad just because you're bigger." She stated shakily.

Tawny let out an audible sigh.
"That's not what I'm looking for. You don't say 'bigger' when you talk about me or other people.
So I'll walk you through it: Am I ugly?"

"No." Miri replied firmly.

"Am I thin?"

"No."

"Describe me in a word. And don't give me a bullshit answer like 'blonde;' you know what I'm looking for. What is the first thing people notice about me?"

Miri hesitated.
She paused for a while trying to find a way around answering the question the way she was expected to with full knowledge that her reluctance was only proving the point.

She hesitated longer.

After the silence became too much, she finally opened her mouth.

"You are fat."

"How fat? Fat like you?"

"No." Miri replied again, relieved by the short time bought by simple answers.

"How fat?" Tawny probed mercilessly despite sounding noticeably less angry.

"Really fat. Like almost twice my size." Said Miri, her heart sinking as she did.

"Jeez, girl, I'm not THAT big." Tawny said with a slight chuckle that was immeasurably relieving to the girl on the other line.

"I'm like 230 pounds, not 300. But yes. I am very obese and that is ok. I look great, and I love myself. Thank you for being honest with me.....Even I I had to force it out of you."

Miri was starting to feel better, but still felt the need to defend herself and hopefully lighten the mood.

"You do look great. Also, just to clarify, two of me does not equal 300 pounds."

"Ooh, big whoop. It's what, 20 pounds off? How much do you weigh, like around 140?" Tawny asked, appearing to take the statement well.

Miri stood up and looked herself over reflexively, feeling her muffin top peeking out from under her shirt before answering "Somewhere around there, yeah."

"Yeah. I'm nowhere near that huge. But if I was, that would be ok and I hope that you can start feeling that way soon.
If you want to bring your mom by to say hi, that's cool. But you need to have your day together first, and if you feel bad, try talking to her about it. You are a grown woman. You can do it. Plus, what's she gonna do, ground you?" Tawny asked, sounding supportive and done with her rant.

Miri wanted to reply, but felt a buzz against her head indicating a text that was almost certainly her mom.
She stuffed the last of the pop tart in her mouth and and attempted to chew it before responding.

Tawny caught notice and asked, "....Mir, have you been eating something this whole time?"

Guiltily again, the emotionally drained Asian answered "..Uhmm...Yeah actually."

"You. Fucking. Fatass. WHICH ISN'T BAD. I am teasing you. You are awesome. But still! Oh my god, you and food. Sorry to make you stress eat, haha." Tawny laughed, causing Miri to smile and blush from embarrassment.

"Yeahhh...But I actually gotta go. My mom is texting and probably here." She said.

"Alright. Be cool and have fun. Good luck."

Both women said goodbye and then Miri checked on her message which was indeed Lori telling her she was ten minutes out.

Feeling out of emotional strength from the lecture she'd just received, she halfheartedly cleaned up her crumbs and tried to do some more cleaning before her mom showed up.


At around 10, Miri heard a knock at the front door that caused her to jump up out of her seat as if she'd just been caught stealing. Her heart smashed against her chest as she adjusted her shirt that had ridden up while she sat. Finally, she took a deep, sighing breath and opened the door.

Lori was kneeling next to the small plot of well-grown and vibrant irises when the door opened. She wore a straw sun hat with a pink ribbon around the top and a faded pink/yellow sun dress that draped over her body loosely, her night black hair cascading in front of her face.

"Hey!" Miri called out pleasantly, nervous, but still genuinely happy to see her mother after a month away from home.

"Hiii," she coo'd cheerfully.
"I like your flowers. They are very beautiful. The moisture here must be very good for them."

(2)

Lori looked up with a very big, but soft smile, her eyes briefly and very rapidly scanning the image of her daughter standing before her.
A motion that while otherwise invisible to most was glaringly obvious to Miri.

Miri invited her in, also making a less-discreet evaluation of what she was seeing while Lori looked around, oblivious that anyone could possibly be scrutinizing her.

For the most part, Miri rationalized, her mom looked the same as she could remember. A bit of sly, nerve-wracking realization had suddenly hit her.
Lori's size in comparison to her own seemed relatively the same as before: a little softer here, a little rounder there, and only slightly fuller in the chest area. Delighted, Miri allowed herself to rationalize inside her head as she observed her mother from all angles as she looked at the place and furniture.

"Our proportions are still the same. And...I've gained almost ten pounds since I moved here.....She's getting fatter too."

"Miri? Can I use your bathroom? I need to get out of my dress." Lori asked, still smiling.

"Sure. Right over there." Miri shrugged, familiar with her mom's habit of changing out of dresses when she was indoors to avoid appearing out of place.

"Sun dresses are for sun." She would say.

When she stepped out, Miri's eyes were glued to Lori's figure. Clad in a pair of khaki shorts and a conservative purple tank top, Miri could see every inch of her frame. The younger woman observed that for all her complaining about her daughter's figure she did, Lori was the very picture of middle-aged softness. Her arms were plump and tattoo' d on one side with a blue and red hummingbird by a flower, and her ample thighs were held tight by the shorts as they rubbed together. She had the appearance of someone who had once been athletic and fit, but had since lost any greater level of athleticism. Miri attributed this to her age, wondering what she'd looked like before the years and a pregnancy had slowed down her metabolism.

Miri reasoned that Lori had had a waist resembling her own when she was about ten years younger, if not a bit smaller.
"Fat happens," she thought as she compared her childhood memories to what she saw now. A soft, but smallish waistline had developed into wide, squishy hips and a plump belly that sat atop her shorts, emphasizing it's smooth roundness.
She may not have been thin, but she was definitely pretty, Miri thought, not displeased with the idea that she could look similar in 20 or so years.

"You look nice." Miri said genuinely, prompting a smile that seemed more legitimate than the others she had seen previously.

"Thank you! You are always so pretty. I like your outfits. We should go shopping together sometime." Lori said, visibly happy.

"We can go today if you want," Miri offered, optimistically. She was surprised at how well things were going and began to relax a little, genuinely hoping that her being away from home had given both of them enough distance to appreciate each other's company again. As Lori began prattling on about how empty the house was with Miri gone and how much she liked the apartment and it's decor, Miri couldn't help but think that things were going remarkably well.

After showing her around the apartment, Miri listened to Lori's stories of her first time going off to college and living on her own. They traded tips on meal ideas and clothing choices, making the younger of the two feel especially grown up in the way she was able to hold a conversation on adult matters without being interrupted by someone nearly twice her age, let alone her own mother.

Even more entrancing though was Lori's behavior upon sitting down on the couch to chat. Miri had set a bowl of chocolates on the table as a kind of courtesy to whomever she was entertaining at the time, just as Lori had taught her to do from a young age. The gesture had always been more decorative than anything, and in all her years of doing it, no visitor had ever taken more than a piece or two from the bowl, no matter what chips or candies had been set out as if they were only there to allow guests to be polite and refuse them.
The longer the two women talked however, the more Miri realized that that wasn't the case this time.

As the conversation progressed, Lori could be seen reaching over into the bowl, taking several pieces of candy, and popping them into her mouth one by one until her hands were empty, at which point, she would simply grab more. Miri wondered if her being absent from the home and not being around to be criticized allowed her mom to snack and graze without guilt, causing the additional poundage. Noticing that the bowl was beginning to empty after about an hour and a half of straight talking, Miri asked, "Hey, I'm gonna grab some chips, do you want some?"

Lori gave her a somewhat disapproving face before replying "You know, you seem to have a lot of snacks lying around. I think you are getting addicted to junk food."  

There it was.
Miri had known something like that was coming, but didn't know what or from where. Sighing, she let it go, interested in seeing what the response to resistance would be.

"Soooo...Is that a no? I was offering for you cuz you look hungry. Like, I actually wasn't gonna have anything." She replied smartly.

Lori bobbed her head side to side before asking "What do you have?"

"Barbecue, sour cream and onion, and regular tortilla chips with salsa." Miri said as she walked to her small kitchen.

"Wow. There's so many. I'm guessing you haven't had time for a diet lately?" Lori questioned again, looking away from the bowl, but still plucking candies from it.

Again, Miri tried to roll with the comment, knowing that if she played dumb and ignored roundabout statements and insinuations, Lori would have to be direct, and in doing so, rude in another person's house. That, Miri knew, was something that her proper mom was just not willing to do.

"I've been going out a lot, so kind of. Why do you ask?
Also, I couldn't pick, so I'm just bringing everything." She said coyly, mimicking her mom's notorious fake smile.

Lori seemed taken aback, her eyes widening and looking slightly alarmed.
"Oh....I don't need that many....and I've just noticed you look a little more....feminine than before."

"Excellent." Miri thought, her inner smile full of razor sharp teeth.

"Did I not look like a girl before? And it's no problem. I can always buy more and I know you can't resist a good treat." Miri pressed hard, making things up on the fly.

"Okay...if it's not a problem, I could try a couple," said Lori, looking longingly at the three bags of chips set onto the table in front of her.
"And you looked like a girl before, just now it looks like there's....a little more to you."

This was what Miri had been waiting for for years. She would fantasize about winning these passive-aggressive spats for so long, but would fall apart whenever she got the chance. But now she wasn't at the mercy of the rules of the house, and Lori increasingly lacking in room to make comments that didn't apply to herself as well, all Miri had to do was shrug them off and refocus back onto the softened Asian lady.

(3)

"Well, you know how that goes," Miri started, her eyes sparkling.

"I'm not a teenager anymore, and my body is starting to get ready for motherhood more than marathons. I can't be expected to look like a kid forever." She said, intentionally closing off room for responses and smiling pleasantly as she gingerly licked barbecue flavoring off of her fingers, pressing her elbow against her chest slightly to exaggerate her fuller bust.

"Are you planning to have kids soon?" Lori asked, unable to decry her highly-touted pedestal of being a mom.

"I'm not sure yet. I still have a long time to think about that, but my body wants what it wants. I'm glad to see that you are finally treating yourself as well." Miri said sweetly, happily tonguing each finger after the tips became coated again with orange seasoning.

Lori didn't seem to be anything but thoughtful as she reached into a bag for her 5th or 6th handful of chips, brushing her fingers on a napkin to avoid sticking them in her mouth.
"Well now that I am living all alone in the house, I have no one to eat all my cheat foods for me, haha. Without someone to watch you, temptation can just be too much. I'm sure with your appetite, you know what I mean."

Normally, Miri would have shrunk back from such a statement, but a combination of adrenaline and seeing her mother stuffing handful after handful of greasy potato chips into her mouth made her want to fight it out. She reached over the table for the salsa, feeling her shirt rise up as she leaned over, her chubby belly rolling over her jeans and onto her lap until she sat back, exposing the bottom half of he belly button.
Miri tugged her shirt down again, feeling somewhat self conscious about her size, but almost hoping Lori would say something about it so she could return fire.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, the food here is just sooo good, it's hard to be around it and not indulge. And now that I get to relax with you, I can see where my appetite comes from." Miri stated coolly, trying to slow down before the exchange became a fight.

"You should really get a napkin. People will think differently if they see what a messy eater you are." Lori advised, making Miri aware of how much she was sucking on her fingers trying to get more flavor before returning them to the bag.

"I'm not messy, it's just the chips." Miri defended weakly.

"Oh?" Lori accused.
"Don't lie to me, I've seen your place already. You barely cleaned up, you have food in like every room, and you wipe your hands on your shirt after you stick them in your mouth. Cravings are okay, but don't be a pig because of it.

Miri grew flustered.
This was how it always started. Something Lori said would ring her bell and put her on the defensive, then she would fall apart.

"Who said anything about cravings now?" She asked, brushing the crumbs off her shirt and onto the floor.

"Didn't you? You told me you were getting ready for motherhood earlier, so I figured that's why you had been eating so much." Lori reasoned.

"Uhhh...I'm not pregnant, mom" Miri said, feeling herself losing ground.

"Well, you are eating everything in sight and your belly is getting big, so what else could it be?" Lori said.

(4)

Miri became indignant, pressing her hand into her belly and feeling it sink into it's plump lower roll.
"First off, I haven't been with anyone, so no, I'm not pregnant. Secondly, it's normal for women to gain weight as they get older. You've been getting fatter too, so get off my case."

Lori frowned, tilting her puffy face downward and causing her slight double chin to look even rounder than usual.
"It's ok for me. I'm older than you. I didn't start gaining weight until I was 35. You're in your low-20's still, so I don't see how you could get so fat without stuffing your face the way you do. You may not be able to slim down like you used to anymore, but that doesn't mean you have to just let yourself go. Your problem is that you are addicted to junk food and never exercise. All you want to do is eat, and that's why you're having such a hard time maintaining your weight. I eat half of what you do and I get bigger. I can't help it anymore, so you have no right to call me names."

The two sat in silence for a little bit as Miri got up and paced around her apartment, picking up the odd bottle or can that had fallen onto the spotted floor. As she walked, she felt the tightness of her pants digging into her love handles uncomfortably, forcing her to try and discreetly unbutton them, providing instant relief. She glanced over at the bag of gifts she had prepared and decided to try and de-escalate the situation.

"Hey. I got these for you the other day." She said flatly, handing Lori the bags.

Lori shuffled through them, seemingly unfazed by the previous argument and acting as if she was just stating obvious facts that Miri just didn't want to hear. She checked out each record, smiling and thanking her daughter profusely as she probed for the next item.

"These are really beautiful," she said upon receiving the dresses, insisting that she try them on them and there.
As irritated as she was, Miri obliged in judging each outfit and saying that every one of them looked amazing, if only to avoid the argument that would follow if she said something looked bad.

Eventually, this led to both women playing dress up in whatever was available, with Miri trying to look elegant and not-pregnant in roomy sundresses that only caught on her stomach and butt, and Lori barely squeezing herself into empire-waisted bell-bottoms and tight fitting shirts.

Each one would try to secretly scrutinize the other's size, with Miri especially annoyed at her mother's flabby appearance as she carried on claiming that she and her daughter really could be twins since they wore the same outfits.

Finally, as the morning wound into late afternoon, Lori announced that it was time for her to head home, but she did still have a gift for her grown-up daughter.

Miri walked out into the driveway and found both her mom's newish-but-worn BMW parked in her driveway as well as a shiny black sports car gleaming sharply as it sat next to the curb.

"What? Woah. What?" Exclaimed a stunned Miri, unable to comprehend the situation fully.

"You're an adult now, so you need to be able to take care of things on your own." Lori explained.
"So I figured that this would be a good way to say that I'm proud of you, and I love you. Even if we get on each other's nerves sometimes."

Still shocked, Miri reached out and hugged Lori, squealing thanks as she bounced up and down, causing her soft belly to bounce and jiggle as she did.

"Okay. Here are the keys, you know how to drive it. I love you, but I need to pick up Julie from the mall. She drove the BMW up here for me and is still waiting for me." Lori said, handing off the keys.

As she drove off, Miri stood with mixed feelings about the gesture, as her mom drove off in the shiny new car, and left her with the older, more beat up one.

(5)

As she walked back into the house, she shook her head and muttered
".....I dunno what I was expecting, but still cool."