Shore Leave 3 (Patreon)

Each of the guys had stayed up well into the night drinking and playing video games with each other. At separate times, each of the men had realized that it had been the first real stitch of quality time that they had had together since arriving in Ibiza. It was nice to just get to relax and play around instead of chasing women around bars and yoga classes, hoping against hope that they spoke enough English to even begin the courtship process. Instead, they all teased each other over various gaming matches as they grew more drunk or high, wolfing down foreign junk food and celebrating their vacation until they slowly but surely grew tired and retired to bed once they noticed the dark night sky turning pale blue as the sun threatened to rise.

It was already well past noon when Frankie rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes before heading out to the lobby to meet up with the other guys. He pulled a baggy, teal shirt over his head, lamenting that it was still a little big on him but consoled himself with the thought that that wasn’t going to be a problem for much longer. Frankie’d been bullied for most of his life. In elementary school it was because he was short. In middle school it was because he was skinny, and in high school it was because he was effeminate enough that most kids just assumed he was gay. He wasn’t, he knew, but it still didn’t help that his body’s default state of being happened to be “scrawny twink with a soft body.”

College was better, but mainly because by then it was more normal to be gay and so regardless of whether or not he was into men, most people just didn’t care as much. Even then it was still generally assumed that he was a bit of a twink in just his mannerisms and physicality. This made him popular with the weeby nerd girls, but more often than not as a friend. Even when they did accept a date proposal from him, it had turned out several times that the girl just had a kink for sissies, bisexuals, or crossdressers and wanted to date a femboy who would also be open to having sex with more masculine guys with her. It was frustrating and disgusting, having cost him multiple friendships when he dumped the girl and was no longer welcome in the social circles she ran in.

But not for long, he thought. After this trip was over, Frankie would be shipping out for Air Force basic training where he would spend all his time working out, getting fit, and building up his tiny body into something more masculine and respectable. Sure, he’d get teased by the guys in boot camp, but that was already happening everywhere he went by virtually everyone he knew. Basic training may not do much for his height, he thought, but Frankie figured he would much rather walk into a room being a muscular, 5’6 military veteran than a 5’6 Liberal Arts major.

Only Evan and Reggie, two of his best friends from college were sympathetic to his plight. Being that they were more or less in the same boat as he was, they were able to understand what life was like for a skinny guy to navigate a society where masculinity and muscle were almost prerequisites to being taken seriously let alone respected. That was part of the reason he’d invited them to go on the trip with him. After one of the girls from college had bragged about how often she flew around the world, a skeptical Frankie attempted to fact check her by looking into airline ticket prices only to find out just how expensive it really wasn’t to just get on a plane and go somewhere. Together, the three of them pooled their financial aid and picked out their vacation destination as both a celebration and goodbye party for their military-bound friend.

“Soon.” Frankie said, staring out of the window into the beautiful town, dreaming of a life of adventure and travel, fighting for freedom and respect. But for now, he would be content to find someone who appreciated him for who he was, or at least get a small taste of real romance before he shipped out.

(1)

Closing the door of his hotel room, Frankie walked down the hall to Evan’s room and knocked. He waited an agonizingly long 30 seconds before knocking again only to be treated to more silence. Assuming Evan had already headed down for the day, he walked down to the next door and saw a note taped to it.

“Frank, we’re heading down to the fashion district. Come join us when you wake up.

-Reg”

Frankie rolled his eyes at the invitation.

“You could have just texted me.” He said to the note and began walking down the hall with a bit of a bounce in his step and a wiggle in his hips. The idea of getting to hit up an entire block of foreign clothing stores was indeed exciting to him. He’d been trying to buy his clothes in a size up so that when he grew into them he’d have something to wear while off duty. This along with the fact that he’d be leaving all of his possessions behind meant that he’d eventually need an entirely new wardrobe, and what better a place to find sexy new outfits for a sexy new body than a Spanish vacation town?

“Yo, Frankieeeee!” Called a familiar voice as the skinny 22 year old wandered onto Paseo Vara de Rey’s bustling street.

“Hey man!” Evan said, running up and giving his buddy a hug. “Glad you got our note. I was worried the cleaning lady was gonna take it down before you saw it.”

Evan was smiling widely, clearly excited to see his friend, and almost giddily bouncing in place as he waited for the shopping trip to begin. He too was skinny, but unlike Frankie, Evan seemed to be fine with his small frame, often claiming that he enjoyed being thin. The claim was dubious, as both of his friends consistently saw him watching men work out or just eyeballing fitter men in general. Reggie insisted that he believed Evan was just in the closet about being into men, but Frankie repeatedly defended him, citing himself as an example of a perfectly straight guy who just happened to have a smaller, more boyish frame. Reggie would just roll his eyes and smile before dropping the subject.

(2)

“Hey. Where’s Reggie?” Frank said, failing to notice the tiny wince of disappointment on his friend’s face.

“Oh, he already went on without us. I told him we’d just catch up later once you arrived.” Evan said, maintaining a smaller, but still eager smile. “You excited?”

Frankie shrugged. “Sure. I’m hoping to get something that fits me well after basic, you know? Something chill and loose but not like…I dunno, faggy?”

“Oh trust me, that’s the LAST thing anyone’s gonna think of you when you hit the town. Girls are gonna be all OVER that shit!” Evan gushed.

The two young men walked together closer than Frankie was entirely comfortable with. At every opportunity, Evan seemed to bump into him or grab his arm to pull him off to the side to look at shawls or bangles or whatever shiny adornment happened to catch his eye. Frankie became suddenly aware of Evan’s behavior. He’d always been that way for as long as he could remember but today something seemed distinctly, visibly off about his…everything really. His big, puffy hair. His tight, revealing outfit. The way he spoke to the cashiers and his tone of voice in general all screamed effeminate gay boy. On one hand, Reggie had all but told him as much several times, but for some reason, he couldn’t remember how he’d responded to it. He must have had a reaction, he thought, but nothing actually came to mind.

Evan continued to flutter from stall to stall and store to store, smiling warmly whenever he noticed that Frankie was watching him. And watch Frankie did, but not because he was interested in what the flamboyant college boy was doing or trying to show him. He studied him intently. Every move he made, every gesture. They all looked unfamiliar. He thought that by now he would have his friend’s mannerisms down to a tee but he didn’t. It was like he was meeting him for the first time. Every time Frankie tried to remember how his friends acted or what classes they’d had together, or even how they met, he’d hit a sort of blear in his mind that muddled the process of moving forward. It left him with only the barest, most fleeting glimpses of a memory, sitting on the tip of his tongue only to dance off of it the second he tried to speak the thought.

“Getting started without me, I see.” Came Reggie’s voice from behind them.

The sudden appearance of his friend had nearly startled Frankie into jumping out of his skin, pulling him from his thoughts and back into the city street.

“You alright, brother?” Reggie asked. His voice also held a certain softness to it, but it was nowhere near the giggly, elevated pitch that Evan seemed to have. He sounded genuinely concerned.

Reggie was a captivatingly attractive person in general, Frankie thought. The thought bothered him enough that he gave pause to consider if he was having some kind of attraction to his buddies, but soon shook off the feeling. He had no genuine physical desire nor was he aroused by men, but he maintained that Reggie was just a good looking dude. He was tall and slim with a fit figure and perfectly grungy, long brown hair. His style morphed to fit whatever situation he was in with today’s ensemble being a loose but flattering black outfit of Spanish design complete with several beaded bracelets wrapped around his wrists in a sort of hippie fashion that gave him a suave sort of vibe. Even so, Reggie too seemed to be foreign to him somehow. Frankie could remember that they were friends and general information about how they knew each other, but try as he might he couldn’t recall any specific memories from before the trip.

“Yeah, I just…I just kinda have something on my mind is all.” Frankie said, shaking off his concern in an attempt to avoid drawing attention to his paranoid skepticism.

“Well hey, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.” Reggie said, patting his friend on the back in a way that made Frankie feel grateful for his lack of flirtatiousness and the brevity of the interaction.

“Will do.” Frankie said. “Thanks, man.”

Together the three of them hit just about every store in the area with Reggie sampling outfits here and there while Evan bounced to and fro, constantly trying to get the attention of his friends. Several times he had insisted on having Frankie and Reggie take turns with him trying on various outfits in the dressing rooms and showing them off despite apparently not actually having any money to buy any of them. The other two declined each time, but it didn’t stop their curly haired friend from flouncing in and out wearing feather boas and sunglasses or short shorts with bright, pastel tanktops.

He was, Frankie realized, very obviously gay, but something was wrong. For whatever reason, he felt like even though Evan was flirting with all the Spanish boys that happened by, he shouldn’t have been acting that way. The perplexed young recruit tapped his foot impatiently, wracking his brain for some indication of why everything about his friends just seemed wrong. He felt it right on the edge of his mind, and then suddenly, a woman.

A tiny flash of a face appeared in his mind. A girl. Blonde with tawny skin and piercing eyes. For the life of him, he couldn’t put a finger on who she was but he was certain of two things: She was important, and he needed to find her.

 (4)