Patreon Pause for October (Patreon)

Hi everyone, I'm behind on posts for September, and I've just had to make the difficult decision to pause this Patreon for October. What this means is that you won't be charged anything for the month of October, but you'll still have access to everything from before. 

My mental health is not in a good state right now. It's difficult to describe, and the best description I've been able to come up with is "existential burnout." I've recently overcome some significant sharp stresses/high stakes adulting, and now coming back to the "usual"  high stresses involved in dealing with an uncertain present/future has put my brain in an awkward state. 

Unlike my usual depressive episodes, I am doing ok taking care of myself. I can cook and clean and deal with what is immediately in front of me. Unlike my usual anxiety episodes, I am calm and not having my brain obsess over a specific thing. Largely I'm ok... but when it comes to needing to physically draw, or write, or plan... that's where I'm coming up blank. 

I've been doing this for a long time, and I can usually tell when what I need is just a bit of extra motivation or structure... but I can feel that this is different. I'm still interested in the projects I have on the go, I understand the next steps. My goals feel achievable. Unlike creative block, I have ideas and things that inspire and excite me. But every time I move to Do The Work, a deep part of me has been whispering, "Stop. Just stop."

Which is what leads me to call it Burnout. My brain needs a break. I need to sit with some feelings and process for awhile before I can return to the well. 

I'll do my best to get caught up as soon as I can, but I know that the only way out of this is putting it down completely for a minute. I know I will return, because I'm still so excited about the projects I have on the go. I just need some breathing room so I can reconnect with the spark of joy that makes all of this possible. 

I'm going to devote myself to getting my daily habits back in order and staying healthy. You'll see me around here and there, and I think Patreon was working well for me, so I know I will return to it soon :) Take care of yourselves, we're all going through a lot.